Todays Chat was on deliberatness. In relation to this point I see that I am deliberately “giving up living as life that supports life” for “living as to experience energy”. This to me is the options one has in terms of what I have come to understand. One either live as life within oneness and equality or live as the mind to only appease and satisfy the mind where within this we actually abuse life as the physical for the purposes of creating our energetic experiences. And that this decision to live as either the mind as energy or life as the physical in oneness and equality is Deliberate.
For in depth detail with regards to how we actually destroy the physical within our process of creating energy you can refer to the Heavens Journey To Life Blog which explain this in absolute detail. Suggest to start from day one and read the blog chronological to give yourself the best opportunity to understand how this process of “Life” works.
In relation to this point of “deliberateness”, was the point of Actually Living ones practical application. I see for myself that I have basically settled on the point that was mentioned in chat today in relation to one aspect of this “not actually living our practical application” which is “Hope”, where in we will do it half way and then go into just hoping for the rest to fall into place without actually living the Self Corrective Application fully through.
This point really hit home as I see this is exactly what I do. I will apply myself for a short while and then give up instead of actually living the Self Correction Fully through.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give myself over to energy where I have accepted and allowed myself to stand within the decision within myself that I must receive/experience a certain amount of energy each day that I receive through accepting and allowing myself to engage/participate within and as my mind in thoughts/pictures and emotions and feelings.
I commit myself to investigate this point within myself as the ‘point’ where “I will go no further” where when I make decisions and commitments that I am always looking at this point of “where I will go no further” and I commit myself to investigating this this point within myself of “where I will go no further” and so within this assist and support myself to be able to step beyond this “point of no return” so to speak where “i always stop” where “I will not go past” where I will sometimes test what it is like to go past this point, but then quickly go back to how things were as the way I am used to living and existing. A life that I see/realize/understand is one that supports me as the mind and as Characters where I have not yet really made a decision within and as myself shown in and as Physical Evidence as my physical living to Live in such a way where I in fact step beyond that point where “I will go no further” this point that I see is the “step beyond energy” where in if I step beyond this point, I will be making a decision to Stop living/directing myself in relation to and as a slave to energy where up to now I have lived in relation to energy not daring to make a commitment as myself and my living expression to direct me within principle and within this stop my accepted and allowed existence/life as “the experience of energy” where this has become the directive principle of me determining and deciding what do and how live day to day.
Thus I commit myself to investigate in self honesty and thus getting to the bottom of this point of “where I will go not further” so that I am not more directed/controlled/influenced by this point.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have time allotted for certain activities within my day where a portion of this time is dedicated to doing things that generate energy for the mind.
I see that this is in fact a “Deliberate” point where I am accepting and allowing Energy to be my God, so to speak, instead of Making a Decision to be Self Honest and Stand as the Directive Principle of me in those such moments. I see that this is in fact a point/acceptance in my life that is running rampant where I will so easily allow myself to do that which I know is only supporting the mind or my self interest. Instead of Deciding to Stop that such behaviour and transform it into an Application of SELF DIRECTIVE WILL within and as what is best for all.
I commit myself to writing out ALL of these moments/points that I am currently accepting and allowing myself to participate in which I see in awareness are deliberate support of the mind and to within writing out this list, start working on these points within writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application to actually start assisting and supporting myself to stop these moments/points within my life which I see is in fact deliberate support of the mind, that I have just accepted myself to participate in without actually giving Direction to these points to assist and support myself to become SELF DIRECTIVE within what is best for all in ALL moments of my Day/Life.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to commit to applying myself within writing, reading, doing my DIP and doing my other daily desteni duties more than what I am doing now, where at the moment I have accepted and allowed myself to excuse myself from applying myself more in this point, which If I did would actually indicate a point of self change if I were to in fact make this a permanent decision that I walked/integrated into myself as my daily application.
I commit myself to finding the “procrastination points” with which I will procrastinate within/participate within instead of doing that which would actually be best for me which is to Apply myself more within my desteni process stuff as this I have found to the be the most beneficial activities to participate within as this assist and support me to get to know myself and Change myself into a being that Stand for and Care for Life in fact, instead of just “living for the mind” in the mind of energy and feeling and emotion which I have come to see has not based on what is best for all.
When and as I see myself facing a moment where I am resisting applying myself within my Desteni Process Tasks such as reading, writing, ratings, linking, DIP, etc, I direct myself to “find the procrastination point” as the point “Id rather be doing” or wanting to do to take me away from applying myself within my Desteni Process Stuff. I Realize that I have up to now accepted and allowed myself to give into this procrastination point frequently. I understand that this is how I created my life. I also understand that In order for me to in fact change and stand up for life that I Must in fact CHANGE me within how I Live and how I direct myself within facing these moments of where I will either go into the procrastination point, or I will Direct myself to Apply myself within my Desteni Process Stuff. I see that the point is to assist and support myself to stop all procrastination points and Stand up as a Self Directed being within and as what is best for all. I thus in such moments when facing resistance to “going beyond where I have gone before” with regards to how much I “usually or normally” participate in process, I stop, take a moment and breathe, and then I direct myself to walk/live my decision to Change myself, by/ through applying myself within Desteni Process Related things as the point I accepted and allowed myself to resist doing and thus have not been yet willing to do as the actual application of Self Change.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the decision to apply myself more within my desteni process as writing, reading, desteni research, DIP, and other desteni related tasks is a decision that I am not able to make, “because I will never follow through with it”.
I commit myself to investigate this point of “the point where I will go no further” as a point identified within myself as a dimension of this belief as back-chat that “ will never follow through with it”
When and as I see myself looking at/seeing this point within myself where “I will go no further” in terms of that “Energy threshold” that I have accepted and allowed to have power over me/control me as my pre-programmed self, I determine in Self Honesty if I am effectively Correcting myself within this point where I am in fact “Changing Myself” by pushing through this resistance to applying myself more in process, or if I am still accepting and allowing myself to live/exist according to my pre-programmed life-style patterns. If I am not changing myself and effectively applying myself more within my process, I then Direct myself to have a look at this point within writing and self forgiveness where I will assist and support myself to open this point up within writing and self forgiveness to develop more insight and understanding with regards to something I may not have considered or am able to utilize within my process of self correction to in fact walk my Decision to Change Myself in Fact within the point of Applying myself more within my Desteni Process, where in this is a Decision that I Live Permanently and Fully Program into and as my Living behaviour until it is who I am and within this I in fact Change me and not accept and allow myself to do what I have done in the past which is to “get to that point where I will slip back into my old/normal pre-programmed way of doing things/living/applying myself according to energy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of Characters that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as when I am not doing my Desteni Related Tasks/Applications, Where in within Committing myself to actually Step more into my process/application within my desteni tasks that I will have to give up those characters as there will simply be no more space/time for them as within making the commitment to step more into / spend more of my time within my process/application within my desteni related tasks I will no more have a “time-slot” for those characters to exist within and as, as I will be making the Decision to Stand as Self Responsibility which is a place where no Characters Exist as within Self Responsibility I stand as the Directive Principle of Myself within and as Equality and Oneness where I do not accept and allow the Mind/Characters to Exist/Run Rampant but that I stand here as the complete and total Directive Principle of myself within Assisting and Supporting myself to stop my existence as the mind and Live within and as What is Best for ALL as a Life form that in fact is Supporting / Existing as Life.
I commit myself to investigating how I “prepare the way” for the decisions I make where I look at/investigate what led up to that moment/decision and what other decisions had to be made to get myself to that one singular point/moment decision. I see that this implies that single decisions as moments or events that one is faced with in ones world did not just magically appear but were/are preceded by other choices/decisions made, and so here I commit myself to assist and support myself “refine my scope” so to speak and start taking responsibility for ALL the decisions I make instead of only seeing the big events or moments where a decision is to be made as the decisions I must make, missing all the smaller decisions that were made seemingly unnoticed that led up to this point and so thus assist and support myself to become aware of ALL decisions I make from the big ‘one’ decision to the microscopic tiny decisions along the way, I am making. In this I realize that I must take responsibility for the entire process that lead up the one big moment/decision. Thus Decisions are not single events but process’s of multiple events/decisions that must be taking responsibility for, not just the final point where by then its probably to late.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold back Fully Committing myself to participate in process more, but that when ever I look at this point I see a picture in my mind as the point where I will again “give-in” to my pre-programmed ways in how I have programmed myself to exist as the mind and thus require a certain amount of attention/time each day to fuel/participate with the mind/energy where this picture I see as this future moment, within my mind that comes up and that I participate with is that moment/time where in I see myself “giving into the energetic experience” and giving up on my decision/commitment to in fact walk this point Permanently as the point of in Fact Walking the Self Correction, where instead here I have done exactly that which was discussed in chat today where my starting point within taking on this point/making this decision to participate in process related things more such as reading, writing, DIP, and other desteni related responsibilities is done so within a point of “seeing that moment” where I will just give in like every other time and so, set out within this “decision” expecting and waiting for that moment where “I have already made” the decision within myself to “give in” and thus waiting/wait for that moment where I ‘Will’ give in and “go back to my old ways” / pre-programmed behavioural patterns as the expected play-out I believed would happen when I started the point in the beginning.
I commit myself to investigate this “picture in my mind” of where I see myself “slipping back into my old ways” which I see/realize/understand is quit a common “picture” that often come up when ever I am looking at points to assist and support myself within changing.
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