A New Dimension of SUCCESS – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 818

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I recently started reading a book written about Jack Ma and the creation of Alibaba which is one of the worlds largest online marketplaces. In reading about Jack and his enterprise I came across a couple examples of Ma’s definition of Success that I found to be very grounded, practical, and livable by anyone where he really took that point of success and boiled it down into something tangible, and accessible to everyone.

What I find interesting is that I have been deliberately working with the process of Re-defining and Living Words, and here this man actually did exactly this by coming up with his personal definition of Success that he could live and apply in his world in a way that supported him.

In the book, Ma defined it as follows,

“Success lies not in how much you have accomplished, but in the fact that you have done something, experienced the process, and begun to learn something”

What I like about this definition is it emphasizes not an outcome of good or bad, success or failure, but of THE ACT, the point of taking action and actually doing something – That is the success, the fact that you got off your but and applied yourself.

For me, I have been slowly starting to develop a new body of artwork and so I really relate to this definition of success because for me the most difficult part often is just getting up and DOING SOMETHING, or motivating myself to sit down in front of my canvas and start painting. Where that very action IS the success, not the outcome, but the ACT.

So here I see for myself that to be more successful requires me to take more action. On paper it looks easy, though I do understand that applying and living this definition of success may bring up other dimensions for me to consider and work out.

Okay that’s the point I wanted to Share!

 

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It’s too Late to be Productive – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 717

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Today I am going to write about resistance. Resistance is something that I see I have allowed to exist as a part of me. My experience in relation to having allowed resistance to be a part of me is that it makes me cringe on the inside, but I see that in order to allow this resistance to exist as a part of me, I have had to become good at supressing this ‘cringing experience’ that is quite uncomfortable.

What I noticed this evening is that as the later hours approach, a tension starts to build inside me and the thoughts inside my head start running.

‘Will I get everything done that I would like to’

‘Will tonight be a success’

‘I should really push myself tonight to get to everything I want to do’

‘but you never get to it, so it will likely end up going this way’

‘but why?, why do I allow myself to procrastinate instead of pushing myself’

‘when will I start to push myself’

‘is tonight the night’

‘its ok if I don’t’

‘its no big deal’

‘maybe I should continue watching that series I started’

‘no you should really do something more productive’

‘its to late now to get to my things I wanted to do’

And basically I end up going through this whole inner debate and dialog within myself in relation to supporting myself within my daily and nightly tasks.

Tonight I noticed that I started watching the clock where I just wanted it to be ‘too late already’ so that I could just retire for the evening and let all this stuff go. What’s interesting through is that it wasn’t yet at that hour of the evening where I normally retire to my bed. And so I could have actually chosen a task and supported myself through by directing it and directing myself. (Which I did by doing this blog!)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not change my nightly routine in where I allow myself to still be productive in the later evening hours instead of accepting and allowing myself to participate with the idea that I have created and hold within myself that after a certain hour, ‘It is to late to be productive’ and so here I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to impose such a limitation onto myself. The limitation and also the excuse of “It’s too late to work now”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to limit myself through and within the idea that I cannot be productive late into the evening. And here I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within this limitation because then I do not have to direct myself, but can after a certain hour, just relax, even though there is still allot of time left in the evening for me to direct points and ultimately to SUPPORT MYSELF through by doing different assignments, writings, readings, ect anything where I am assisting and supporting myself within self introspection,  self investigation, self development and self expansion ect.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing resistance to direct me and for me to really ‘play down’ this process, where I try and hide from myself what it is I am actually doing which is ultimately “not pushing myself” within my self development but night after night allowing myself to just go into the pattern of ‘relaxing’ which is actually not really relaxing but more a point of ‘resisting self movement’ where this self movement would in fact be best for me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow myself to play out the routine of going into resistance, and to not ever question it because if I even so much as catch a glimpse of what I am doing to myself, I cringe because I know that I am not supporting myself to the best of my ability and so therefore getting the best out of myself within my expression within and as my life.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to bring this point of how I have allowed resistance to be such a big part of me, especially in the evenings, into my awareness so that I can address it and start assisting and supporting myself to get more out of myself and no more accepting and allow myself to justify and excuse the limited version of myself which I insist is valid, even though within myself, I know I am capable of more, even if it is just a little more each day, something I see that I have put off adding into my life for some time now.

I commit myself to see, realize, and understand that when I start going into the inner debate within my mind about ‘getting things done’ in the evening, that this is indicating that I am already going into the pattern of allowing resistance and I am actually trying to avoid moving myself and I am trying to talk myself into seeing my self accepted limitation as Okay and I don’t have to stress about it, because the decision is already made within myself that “I don’t want to direct myself” and so now, I am just trying to sooth myself and to supress that cringing experience within myself for making such a decision, and so here I commit myself to assist and support myself to rather than engage in this inner debate, to rather align myself to and as the Decision of ‘walking through’ and ‘pushing through’ resistance so to Direct and Move myself in physical self movement in the practical tasks at hand.

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Converting on Opportunities/Moments of Potential Change – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 661

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In my blog yesterday I was writing about this process of Self Change that I embarked on 7 years ago and my observations about how difficult it has been for me to actually commit myself to changing parts of myself and then seeing that change through.

In my blog I mentioned a few points related to ‘positive thinking’  and so this is where Id like to focus my blog today.

What I see is that there seems to be these specific underlying statements existent within ourselves that act as justifications or incentives for us not to change. One popular one is the statement that “good will always prevail” It’s like we as humanity and I myself see I have also done this is accepted that “things will work out in the end” However I see for myself that this idea is actually contributing to me not in fact changing myself in moments of opportunity to change. I realize that things will not just work out ‘just because’. But that they will work out if I will it to be. If I apply myself in fact and actually change me. That is the only way things will actually work out I the end.

Within allowing these particular natured thoughts of “things just working out in the end” has created a kind of mentality of myself that I see more supports me to not change and to just put this process, or MOMENT of change off until later.

This ‘mentality’ is like this idea that “I will change eventually” that “eventually I will do it” and in a way I have justified not changing, where I will say to myself “Its fine, it will be ok” where there is this idea that someday I will do it, someday I will change.

Though I realize that nothing is a given. Even though we as humanity seem to believe that things will just be given to us. I wonder why that is. Consumerism perhaps. In any case Id like to further open up and explore this nature of myself. This acceptance of myself that “things will just somehow work out”

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with the statement within me that “things will work out in the end” where this statement becomes a justification to not in fact change myself in moments where I see an opportunity to change and stop particular points about myself is here,  but where instead I will allow this ‘idea’ that “things will work out in the end” to influence me and so will allow myself to pass over this ‘opportunity to change’  and continue participating in thoughts, words, and deeds, that I have already identified within me that is not best for me and best for life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pass on moments/opportunities of change, and to think to myself “that there will be another moment” and to within and as this equation/application, sabotage my process of self change. And I forgive myself for not having stopped myself from walking this ‘vicious cycle’ of passing on a moment of change and then passing on the next moment, and then the next, and the next, and the next, and thus here have ultimately lived out this idea that “things will work out in the end” where ultimately I never in fact take any Stand within myself to Direct myself to change myself in the Moment HERE –  but have rather lived out this idea that “somehow, someway, things will change” and missed the point that if I continue to pass on moments of change, things won’t actually work out because I am the one who has to actually direct myself within actual self change, and that this will not just suddenly appear out of no where.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want change to happen to me without me actually doing anything or Directing myself to walk the process of Change within my life. And so more placing change into a point of Hope instead of Directing it for and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my own process of actual change by thinking and perceiving that “there will always be time to change later” and in this pass on opportunities as moments to change, thinking that another moment will come, though, never actually decide to change HERE and Now.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘weaken’ myself in relation to my Stand and Decision to change in a moment, through by accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the idea that “I will change later” that “I will do it later”.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to perceive and to believe that “I will change later” and my process of actual Substantial Self Change will happen later, and so never really in fact Change myself HERE in the MOMENT in my life now.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to take for granted the moments of my life from the perspective of thinking that its ok to use these moments to ‘indulge’ in my mind and my programming, where I Have accepted and allowed myself to believe that “I can always change later”

Self Commitments.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop passing on moments of Change that is HERE in my reality now, and to commit myself to assist and support myself realize that once a moment of change has passed, it is gone forever and just because I have time, doesn’t mean I should abuse that time.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop putting my ‘process of change’ into the future, like kicking the can down the road, but to see, realize, and understand that now is as good as time as any for Real Self Change, and I am more than ready for this.

I commit myself to see, realize, and understand that when I pass on an opportunity/moment of change, that I have, by implication, accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as the nature and statement of “things will somehow find a way to work out” which I see, realize, and understand is a delusional idea, and that Self Change must be an accumulated affect of changing in each moment.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to realize the Value of Each Moment.

I commit myself to stop taking my Life for Granted through by allowing myself to continually pass on moments/opportunities to change.

I commit myself to realize that Valuing Life is an outcome, a result that is a physically accumulated outcome of who I have accepted and allowed myself to be in each moment, and Value is only HERE if I have Valued myself and Changed myself in each moment HERE. Or I will pass on moments to change, and remain as I have always been which is the accumulated result of taking life for granted and each moment that is here as opportunities to change for granted.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to realize that the Moment/Opportunity that is HERE to Change is Thee Moment. Is thee Moment to change, and so I commit myself to Seize these moments, no more accepting and allowing myself to think that another one will come later on down the road, as I have found that when I think that, I excuse myself from Seizing the moment that is here and the result is I never change.

I commit myself to Realign My application of Self Change from ‘passing on moments of change’ to a new approach which is to ‘Seize the moment/opportunity of potential change that is HERE’, and to in Convert this potential into a reality through actually physically changing in the moment.

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Why Do I Always Wait so Long Before I Take Action – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 599

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I am going to continue here opening up a point I have been exploring this past week and have been looking at in recent blogs.

This ‘Point’ can be seen within the question – “Why do we wait until the last possible minute to do things”

This I see more specifically relates to responsibilities and/or obligations where I have noticed that I will tend to be more likely to postpone such points instead of doing them straight away.

So I am here looking at this point of “Why do I wait until the last possible minute to do things?”

I have noticed that this pattern of ‘waiting till the last possible minute’ has become more of theme in my life in terms of where I am noticing this more, and so here am assisting and supporting myself to give this point Direction so that I can align my Living in a way where I am more ‘pro-active’ in my daily living rather than often waiting for things to get to the stage of where it’s like ‘the last possible moment’ or where ‘it’s almost too late’ or where for instance now because I have waited for so long before directing a particular point that now there is stress within me when I finally ‘decide’ to direct the points because I have placed myself in a position where I have very little margin for error, or not allot of ‘breathing room’ because I waited until the last possible moment to direct the point instead of directing the points when I noticed them coming up in a manner where I give myself ample time to complete/direct the points so I can take my time with it and simply do a thorough effective job.

Within waiting until the last possible moment to direct myself within my responsibilities and obligations I see that I am existing in a point where I am being directed by my reality instead of being Self-Directive.
In essence waiting until the physical conditions of my reality are demanding that I now move myself in a way pushing/forcing or even motivating me into action instead of Me being and becoming this point of Self Movement for myself where I develop the point/pattern of becoming pro-active in directing myself in my responsibilities and obligations which I see is where I develop the ability to actually do things when they come up instead of allowing myself to perpetuate the pattern of going through the progressive stages of procrastination where I will wait, and wait some more, and wait just a little more where I will allow this process of procrastination to become my normal way of directing myself in my reality.

So I must look at why I do this, and thus to re-align myself to move from intention to immediacy – where I stop ‘intending to do something eventually’ and simply ‘immediately direct’ a point when it comes up.

I will continue in my next blog with walking the Self Forgiveness In relation to this point.

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Motivation and Why We’d Rather Suffer Than Change – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 598

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Are you motivated by Suffering?

A few days ago I wrote a blog titled “Are You Motivated By Money”. In It exploring the realization that I was in fact motivated by money from the perspective of where my day to day actions were being influenced by how much money I had at any given time where I would have a tendency to stop doing the necessary actions that generate money when I would have money, where then these actions would more be stimulated when I was low on money and so thus then money being my motivation.

Now today a similar point came up. For a while now I have been having a few problems with one of my teeth. But only when the pain would flair up and become more persistent would I start to think about getting the necessary paper work done so that I can direct the point and get the tooth looked at by a professional. But as soon as the pain would subside I would forget about filing the paper work and taking the necessary steps to get the point checked out.

Within this I have noticed an interesting implication.

Firstly – Human beings can really tolerate a great deal of suffering. Using my own life as an example I can see that I will tolerate allot of suffering to where only when things get really bad that I will…..wait, no, its more like when things get really really really really really bad will I take action to correct the point to end the point of suffering for instance.

This point is related to the nature that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as as humanity where we would rather tolerate suffering than actually take the time to support ourselves. And I mean, this is the really strange thing. That much of the time, that which we ‘don’t want to do’ is actually Best for us and Supportive for ourselves. Its such a strange thing how what we as humanity resist doing the most is what would actually be best for us.

So getting back to me – I mean I am great example of this. I am a perfect reflection of manifested human nature where I have observed in my life that I will go to great lengths to avoid doing things that would actually support me and be beneficial for myself in my life, where Id avoid doing such things to the degree where I would actually rather suffer than support myself. In the case of my rogue tooth, to actually get this point checked out, Id have to in a way, do something that is ‘out of character’, and so ultimately this point boils down to change and boils down to facing certain fears that I have created within me and that instead of doing this, I will simply tolerate suffering so to avoid having to step out of my comfort zone, even though to actually get this point sorted out would be very much supportive for my physical and even my mental well being. Yet I will only move on this point when the pain and suffering caused by it gets to a point where it becomes unbearable. Fascinating really. So this is indicating that I am in fact Motivated by Suffering.

Now the interesting implication is the following.

The tooth is but one example. I have witnessed points similar to this in my life in varying circumstances and degrees. And one thing that I have learned about myself is that I have a very high tolerance for suffering. And ultimately what I see, and this is the crux of this entire point that I am illustrating – is that, I will literally wait forever. I have pondered on this point before also where I have wondered ‘how much suffering can I take”, or ‘how bad must it get before I change’ and man I have found I can take allot.

Its kind of like the US debt ceiling for those familiar with US economics where every year, the US simply raise the debt ceiling increasing their capacity for debt instead of actually changing the fundamental problems of the money system which is causing then enormous debt in the first place and so I can related to this because I wonder if when things start to get bad for instance if I will just buckle down and increase my tolerance for suffering so that I don’t have to change. So that I don’t have to step out of my comfort zone and ironically, do something that is actually Supportive for myself.

So – The Solution.

I realize that I am motivated by Suffering, that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within this equation. Here, I will wait and wait and wait until the suffering really gets bad before I will be motivated to change things instead of actually Living within a starting point principle of “Prevention is the Best Cure”

Its not that there is no Solution – Because what I find is that when the suffering finally gets to be too much , and I mean, there is a point where I have had enough, when things get this way, I will decide “Ok time to move” and I will simply direct the point with the Solutions that was HERE the entire time.

And so I see here that the Actual SOLUTION is to assist and support myself to Stop existing within a point of being Motivated By Suffering and rather start existing in a way where instead of waiting until things get really bad, that rather I simply direct myself before this within the principle of ‘prevention is the best cure’

And so I take it upon myself to MOVE MYSELF based in Common Sense Insight, Aligning myself to actually do what is in fact best and supportive for me. So this requires me to actually Move/Direct Myself as a point of Self Will. For me to motivate myself instead of waiting for things to get really bad before I will decide to do something about my situation which is what happens when I am motivated by Suffering instead of being Self Motivated.

Who knows what kind of life is possible in doing this.

I can related this entire scenario to various points in my life, relationship, job, leisure, house, car, – its like why not be ‘Pro-Active’ instead of waiting for things to fall apart to stimulate movement. – Prevention is the Best Cure and simply just using common sense and directing myself and my life according to what would be best.

Thus the process is to move from being motivated by suffering to being Self Motivated and really doing what is best for Self and Best for Life. – ‘Self Interest’ is NOT best for Self. That is not the kind of ‘best for self’ I am talking about. Self Interest, if one look is often really in fact Self Abuse.

So “Human Nature Can Never Change” – Nope.

This is rather Humans don’t want to change.

Ok so concluding with the “interesting implication”

If we look at our world at the moment and the amount of Suffering that is existing globally. We look at for instance the credit crisis, war, poverty, animal extinction, all the horrible shit we see flooding our facebook streams daily – ALL of this is preventable. But it will require us as humanity to stop existing within the point of being Motivated by Suffering and actually become Self Motivated, Self Willed – Because what I have found in my own life as illustrated above is that I can take allot of suffering and really I see it is not an effective methodology of life to wait for suffering to motivate me to do things, to change in my life. And fascinatingly Humanity is reflecting this propensity for suffering that I have found within myself because dam, there is ALLOT of Suffering on this planet. Created because we as humanity have been unwilling to Move ourselves as Self Motivation.

So I realize that I must start actually living as Self Motivation. I must establish this points of Self Motivation as who I am.

And so if one by one individuals do this then eventually we have an entire humanity able to do this and the landscape of this world will be much different that how it is now.

And so again with Humanity – It is likely exactly the same as I have realized within my own life – Its not that there is no solutions – its is that we do not want to step out of comfort zones. – We simply do not want to change and would rather tolerate suffering than change. So we must stop tolerating Suffering and change our Starting Points for Living to “Prevention is the Best Cure’ and actually Develop the Ability which apparently we have not yet done – to actually change things before they get bad – to not wait for Consequences before we change but rather to considering the consequences of what we do and align our actions and living accordingly in a way that actually results in what is Supportive and Beneficial

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Placing My Trust in Failure – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 563

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the point of needing to fill out the necessary forms to get a business number for my business.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a ‘dropping’ experience in relation to this point of registering my business where within myself I see this as a ‘big ordeal’ and so in relation to this experience this ‘dropping’ within myself, is a form of ‘falling’ in relation to the point instead of standing equal to the task.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stand equal to the task of registering my business where I see that there is still many points within myself in relation to doing this that are not yet Aligned in a way that will effectively support this point in producing effective results. And so when for instance the point of registering my business comes up, I go into reaction instead of practical direction as the point of standing equal to the task.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that ‘there is no point’ to registering my business because within myself I believe ‘it will not work out anyways’ and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by an experience coming up inside me in relation to this point about registering my business where I have allowed this experience to automatically dictate what I do instead of assisting and supporting myself to investigate where this experience comes from and if it is something that I should place my trust in.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in a way where I don’t even understand the experiences that are happening inside me from the perspective of where I cannot really tell fact from fiction in terms of identifying which are experiences that is based on false perceptions of reality, and what is common sense and practical considerations, where its like all of this just seems to mix together where I cannot seem to differentiate it from each other.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself when this point of ‘registering’ my business came up because I was prompted by someone else to do this where then I went into self judgement andthought/believed that because I was not the one prompting myself that this means or indicates that I have failed or that it will end in failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my business will fail and so don’t even bother doing the necessary alignments within the system to ensure that it can function in the best way possible, and thus have fundamentally given up before I even began.

There is definitely a part of me that doesn’t really see this ‘going anywhere’. There is also a part of me that doesn’t believe I will actually have any success doing this.

It is interesting because in my mind I often will see and envision this point (my business) working in various contexts and what that will look like, but then here I will really reign myself back because deep down I don’t really think its going to work out and so Its like I have already accepted failure, like I am already seeing and projecting the failure point into the endeavour which I see really ‘kills the motivation’ in a way.

But what I wanted to mention is how there is like 2 versions happening in terms of the possibilities where there is like the perfect version where everything works miraculously and then there is the point where it simply just fizzle out and fail and that the point where it fizzle out and fail, I seem to define and see as more valid and more real and in a way ‘what will likely happen’. And so I thought it was interesting that I have given more value and credit to the ‘negative’ version of the play-outs that take place within me as if the ‘negative’ version is more realistic and so that I should pay attention to this version.

I will continue with this point in further blogs

 

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Punctuality Test – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 544

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Today I had an interview for job and during the interview process, I received a question that revealed a point within myself that I see is something that I would like to work on.

So the question that was asked was…

“Are you punctual”……and immediately I felt good about myself because being punctual is one of those things that I have always been effective within in relation to getting to locations and places on time….but then the interviewer finished the question….(Are you punctual)  “in relation to finishing assignments and getting projects and tasks done on time?”

I answered the question but I could see that I could not immediately answer YES to the question with confidence. And so what was revealed is that, I am actually not yet standing within a point of being punctual in terms of getting tasks in on time within specific time frames where that this is something that I have established within myself within a point of absolute certainty.

And so I also saw that this is a point that I can actually support myself with within my life so to become more effective within my life because I see that to actually walk and live this point of being punctual within completing projects and tasks on time within allotted time frames will actually be a cool support within my daily living in terms of living to my utmost potential, particularly within a system that lives and dies

One of the primary frames of reference that I see I accessed when looking at this question and thus was the reason why I could not answer this question with a ‘Stable Yes’ was my participation with Desteni during this last year or 2 with the various tasks and assignments that I have taken on myself to do, particularly with my DIP assignments where what I see is that I have in fact allowed myself to procrastinate where I stopped adhering to the deadlines that was suggested in terms of completing such tasks and assignments which ended up with me moving more into a point of accepted procrastination and so therefore when this question was asked to me today of “are you punctual in getting tasks /projects completed by deadlines?” I hesitated and could not actually say Yes.

So this is a point I see I am able to support myself with within my life to develop this as a stable point within myself as I see that this is an important skill in terms of functioning within a system that is designed within the context of deadlines and duedates.

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