Showing Up! – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 809

 

Winter Tusk Clouds Sunrise Snowy Trees DavidMcColm

In my last blog I began opening up the point of ‘Motivation’ which was prompted when a co-worker of mine expressed his gratitude towards the motivation he saw within me over the past 4 years as I have been developing a body of stone sculptures.

What is interesting is that I feel in a lot of ways that I have actually struggled with motivation at times.

In fact if I look back over the past 4 years I see many times where I really struggled to stay consistent with going to work each day to develop and create my artwork.

But I have stuck with it and continue to develop my consistency within showing up to work to create sculptures because they surely do not carve themselves. I mean, the art and creativity stuff is actually the easy part. The difficult part is SHOWING UP.

In my last blog I listed a few principles that I have utilized to support me in developing my sculptures over the past four years.

  • Accumulation Affect 1+1+1+1
  • The principle of Whats Best For ALL
  • Self Direction
  • Self Forgiveness
  • Self Honesty
  • Bringing ALL points back to self
  • Self Responsibility (never blame anyone or anything)
  • Breath (one breath at a time)
  • Live In the Physical
  • Don’t Compare
  • Do what you must and within that create what you would like it to be
  • Lead by Example
  • Live to your utmost potential
  • Personal Process First
  • Do unto others what you would like done unto you
  • Be Solution Oriented
  • Consistency

 

Okay so in this blog I am going to expand some on the first principle: “Accumulation Affect 1+1+1+1”

This principle was introduced to me almost a decade ago. It is similar to that saying that “Rome wasn’t built in a day” and I have utilized this principle in many things in my life and also within the development of my art.

For me I see this principle as embodying a simplicity. It literally meant for me to just SHOW UP!

For the last four years I have been developing a collection of stone sculptures which I sell. Now my approach was to keep it simple and just show up to work each work day. There were a lot of days where I didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning and go and carve, but I did. And there were also a lot of days where I didn’t want to get out of bed to carve, and I didn’t….but then eventually did and got myself to work. There were also days where it was easy to get up and I looked forward to it, and there were also days where I just didn’t go. So perhaps my co-worker observed some form of Motivation in my process that I have been working on of getting up in the mornings and going to work and being consistent with that. Learning to go and work even though I might not feel like it, essentially focusing on the Principle of the matter rather than my experience which often would shift once I got to work where suddenly it really wasn’t so bad as I initially experienced to be

The Accumulation affect is how one creates something where if one does a little bit each day then eventually it accumulates into a bigger point. And so with this AWARENESS I have had of this principle, I have utilized it as a guideline when approaching this whole process I have walked with developing stone sculptures. I just kept it simple and each day I carved, would be time that I would be putting into the creation of these sculptures, and so I just walked one day at a time, one sculptures at a time and continue to utilize this accumulation affect within this point.

This affect also goes hand in hand with CONSISTENCY which I have at times expressed as “The most powerful force of all!” It’s nothing fancy, it’s just Consistency, one day at a time, one breath at a time. Brick by brick.

I began developing this tool of consistency actually within my Journey To Life Blogs. I had actually began before that, but this particular process I have walked with this blog has been a commitment of consistency and learning how to and developing my ability to be consistent. So Consistency is definitely a PILLAR of ‘Motivation’ so to speak.

Now its interesting that my co-worker perceived me as ‘motivated’ I guess my motivation is that within my art I always want to SEE WHATS POSSIBLE and so I move myself to create it and see what Is possible within my creation. And then so the Accumulation Affect and Consistency are more the Practical ‘how-to’ and LIVING of Motivation. But I do see an underlying curiosity within myself of wanting to see what I am capable of and see what my utmost potential is, not just in my art but in MYSELF and My LIFE. I have been fortunate in my life to meet some great examples of human potential that has been a guiding inspiration and motivation for me. And having the Desteni Process has really been an incredible TOOL for me to be able to understand how to and what it means to live to my utmost potential as Life and understanding all the various dimensions of this process of creating myself to be my Utmost Potential.

 

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential

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Expanding Your Supply of Solutions – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 805

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So lately I have been walking this point of ordering more supplies for my business which allows everything to continue to flow normally. But there is a delay on the supplies arriving which isn’t the first time this has happened with some of the suppliers I work with. So when and as this is happening I have been firstly practicing not allowing myself to go into a reaction towards the particular suppliers and essentially start demanding that my supplies arrive in a reasonable time-frame. There are moments where I see these reactions coming up within me, but I continue to support myself to not act out of these reactions.

So one dimension of this that is coming up now as I write, is the questions of “Where do I do the same thing” Where do I procrastinate with certain projects, tasks, and points that not only affect me but affect others as well, because I can see that I still do allow procrastination in my own life, and so this is a cool Starting Point for me to create a Solution for these outflows that I am walking now where my supplies seems to be arriving late which has been a pattern now for about a year.

For instance, I could actually just order my supplies doubly early. If I have identified a pattern of the movement of certain supplies, then I could make sure that I am keenly on top of it, and essentially doing what is within my power to Ensure that I am always stocked on supplies.

I also noticed that I can also branch out and reach out to other suppliers who could provide a supplemental support for when I need certain supplies within a specific time-frame. This is something that I haven’t yet done.

Because if a few months down the road I am in the same boat, it is obvious that it has nothing to do with the suppliers but rather my lack of action to find solutions to the point.

So here is a good example of how its so easy to blame others for our experiences and problems where we do this without getting to the point of doing everything in our power to Take Responsibility for Our Own lives to the best of our ability.

So this is has definitely been a Key for me in the Process that I have walked with Desteni over the years where I have been supported to and have since began to bring points back to myself and look at where and how I can support me to find Solutions and Take Responsibility for my life instead of just going into blaming someone else. This has actually had quite a massive impact on my life because here even in this situation with my suppliers, this could have easily in the past ended up with me just going into blame and so not bringing the point back to myself which is a missed opportunity for self expansion because in bringing the points back to myself I am actually EXPANDING myself through looking at WHAT I CAN DO for myself and for others in terms of Living Solutions and trying out new things or changing my own tendencies and patterns to be overall more supportive.

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential

Infinite Moments of Patience – An Artists Journey to Life: Day 801

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In my recent blogs I have been opening up the mysteries of “Patience” and looking at what stories I have missed and how I can create myself to be more patient within myself and my life. I ended off my last blog looking at the dimension of “Personal Patience” which I see as where patience is lived within self on a fundamental level of self and isn’t so much related to external points, such as for example being patient when starting new projects or when walking towards ones external life goals.

For myself I have noticed a tendency for me to always be looking at or thinking about “how my life could be better” and also how I could make more money or achieve more external successes where this kind of preoccupation has become a kind of obsession in a way.

Why?

Why am I so driven to achieve these external successes to the degree where I experience a desperation, essentially feeling like I am missing something without them?

So this is why I have here been looking at this word Patience on a more personal level or would like to explore this a bit more. Like how do I walk/live patience each day?

When I am at home, when I am communicating with my partner, or someone else, when I am doing the dishes, reading a book, walking to my car, driving, listening to music. Am I impatient within these tasks as well? How about when I am writing a blog? Am I patient with myself.

Last night I did get a bit flustered at the end of my blog where I felt a bit hasty at the end.

So perhaps this is where I could focus my application of Living and Integrating this word Patience into myself and life more. I can focus my application on my day to day, moment to moment of who I am as this word Patience. And here I can practice walking Patience in ALL moments in my life, not just in the big projects or opportunities that open up. But here I can investigate how to Live Patience from moment to moment, breath by breath, because I can see there is multitudes upon multitudes of moments where ‘Patience’ can be lived. Ultimately the moments seem infinite.

 

Patience:

To Live and Express this word as myself is to ‘take a moment’ and settle down, and breathe, when I see myself becoming anxious. And this is definitely a key indicator of Impatience, when I notice that flare of anxiety flowering up within me. Here I can take a breath and settle Myself back into my Physical Body so that I am settled and calm and GROUNDED in relation to what ever point is causing/creating the anxiousness. And What ever point I am facing/walking in the moment.

So here I do see these 2 experiences, where when Patience is where I am STILL, and Settled and GROUNDED within myself, and centered. And Impatience is where I go into anxiousness or restlessness.

So here I can practice creating and directing myself into and as this Grounded, Settled, Centered, and STILL experience/stance within myself as I walk/live moment to moment.

So I have some DIRECTION with this point and with this experience that initially started off these investigations into patience where I found myself Rushing at work a few days ago wanting to just get everything done already where this rushing and FORCING things actually caused a strain on my Physical body, and so here I am after walking through some dimensions of this point to here where I am moving forwards and remembering in a way to implement and practice Living the word Patience more in my moment to moment life.

Now another WORD that is coming through here that I can explore in blogs to come is related to this word patience and I can see more specifically in relation to just wanting to have all my projects complete and done already and just wanting to know if everything is going to work out or not is the word COMPLETION. Or even the word CONTENT because yes, I am often busy pursing my external and even my internal life goals and within that I can practice living this word PATIENCE, but also to consider how at times I am driven by an experience of lack, of feeling like I need to arrive somewhere or that when I have gained this or that, then I will be satisfied and complete and then I can rest and take my time. So here the points I see is Living Completion and being CONTENT in each moment. So this is something I will explore in blogs to come or perhaps within my own writings I do in my notebook.

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential

Moving An Inch into a New Pattern – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 796

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Today I was sitting at my desk writing about a point from my day. As I wrote out the details of this point, I noticed that my experience in relation to the point was actually intensifying. A moment then happened where I thought about stopping the writing and just jumping over to entertainment or checking my facebook as a point to just settle down a bit. Here however I observed that if I were to do that, that I wouldn’t actually be resolving anything but rather just distracting myself from my inner experience which I realize and understand is not a Solution and would rather just keep the point cycling around within myself.

So I thought this was a cool moment to write about because it revealed this aspect of myself how I keep myself actually trapped within my mind, within my emotional reactions by distracting and essentially supressing my experience by diverting my attention into media entertainment.

So in this moment I saw this distraction design and so instead I just remained within what I was doing which was writing, and opening up the point and overall, just remaining HERE with and as my experience instead of wanting to and trying to run from it, hide from it, distract myself from it.

Within  listening to the many interviews on the Eqafe website I have encountered this explanation about how energy functions where when you focus on energy it will actually for a moment intensify as one intensifies ones focus upon which was what I was doing tonight as I decided to sit down and write about this point/event that happened during the day and in this exploring and investigating the emotions and energies that was coming up within me in relation to this event.

And so when that energy started intensifying and I started feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, this awareness came up within me of this point of how “energy intensifies if you focus on it” that I have herd explained in different Eqafe Interviews and so I rather decided to remain HERE and continue writing and rather move myself to direct myself and the energy instead of immediately trying to distract myself from it.

Now, things didn’t come to a nice and tidy resolution but I do see how I can continue to support myself this way within my life and process where I essentially learn and develop the ability to face what is going on within me instead of wanting to distract myself from it. And so instead of distracting myself from it, I can Face it and learn more about it  and how it moves within me. Which is the process of me learning about me.

So I thought I would share this small moment from today where I a simply decided to change my usual pattern of distraction and rather allow an experience to be here within me as a point of learning more about it and learning  to direct it and myself into a point of Resolution…or at least give myself the option to do this which I immediately close off when I channel my attention into entertainment when ever I am overwhelmed with a reaction or inner experience.

So it was a small moment, just an inch forward into a New, more supportive pattern/action, but that is better than nothing.

 

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential

From FIGHTING to EMBRACING our WORLD SYSTEM (A Decade with Desteni)- An Artists Journey To Life: Day 794

Satisfaction and Success

In this blog I am going to share one of the major points that has impacted and shaped my life that has come from and within Walking the Desteni Process.

I first found Desteni 10 years ago when the website first came online, so I have been walking the Desteni Process for 10 years.

One of the most impactful points that walking this process has had on me has to do with EMBRACING THE SYSTEM instead of fighting or rebelling against it.

What does this mean?

Before Desteni I very much saw money as the root of all evil and I hated everything to do with Responsibility when it came to functioning and living in the world system. I believed that this was all just a waste of my time and I told myself that I don’t want to spend my life filling out paper work. I never paid my taxes on time, my student loans were overdue with numerous late payments, I had never had a 9 to 5 type job, only seasonal work and odd jobs. I just didn’t care about ‘that stuff’ I overall resisted the system and how it functioned and I essentially was trying to escape, run and hide from it. I wanted to be an Artist and I wanted to be free from what I perceived to be the restrictions of our corporate world that in my eyes was sucking the life and creativity out of the human being.

As a result of my approach and beliefs, I was living on the fringes of this world, making just enough money to get by.

Then I began walking my process with Desteni and Everything Changed.

I was introduced to a new way of looking at the world and through the years I have continued to expand my understanding of how things work and how to approach this world in a way that is more Practical and Supportive. Not just for me, but for ALL!

And so now instead of rebelling against, ignoring and fighting against the world system, I rather EMBRACE it! Get to know it, understand it, become effective within it and from this vantage point, I can have a VOICE, and I can work to change it. This also becomes more possible when ones life is STABLE and FUNCTIONAL within this world, instead of where one is totally on the fringes struggling for survival in which case it makes it much more difficult to have any kind of voice what so ever.

What I have come to understand through walking the Desteni Process these last 10 years is that This World, THIS SYSTEM, IS ME! Everything that is HERE is LIFE, and so it makes no sense to JUDGE any part of it.  The outer world System is simply a reflection of the inner world system, and so to judge it is to judge a part of myself, and so rather my approach is to embrace it, get to know it, understand it, correct it where it requires correction. Working WITH the System is the Same as working WITH Myself.

I have come to realize that when I face personal challenges in my life, that I make things more difficult when I react, when I fight, when I JUDGE Myself instead of moving into a point of SELF FORGIVENESS and rather than fighting against myself through judging myself, I rather EMBRACE myself, Embrace the parts of myself that are not yet what I would like them to be. Don’t fight with them, Embrace them, practice understanding them in detail so that I can learn how to change. And so the same goes for the world system. Yes it may not be ideal, but if we shun it, and dismiss it, its like we are counting ourselves out of it and so have absolutely no power what so ever.

And so a shift occurred within me and within my life.

I made a decision within myself which was to EMBRACE this world system Completely and Absolutely. Embrace the laws, rules, regulations, codes ect and work WITH them in a way to support me in my life so that I am as a starting point, EMPOWERED within this system of codes and rules.

Embracing the system does not mean accepting it how it is and just ‘making due’ Nope. It means Embracing it so that I can function effectively within it and then from within this starting point work to change it. If I completely disengage, then I have no power to do anything about all the injustices that are cause through it. Not to mention I completely disempower Myself in my practical daily life to live to support myself and those around me which is also necessary and valuable.

For the past 4 years I have been creating a Fine Art Business. I have had to learn how to file and pay all the different levels of taxes. I have a business number. I pay all my bills on time, I am in essence, getting to know and understand this whole process of what it means to integrate into this system as an individual and as a business. It has been quite a process because I never considered this my strong suit and still to this day it is something that I still have to push myself to develop and learn to do.

I just finished filing my taxes recently and learning about a completely new layer of taxes – Sounds exciting doesn’t it! Lol.

To me, learning to EMBRACE the System through the process that I have walked with Desteni has had a massive impact on my life.

It has been a complete shift for me from Fighting This World to Embracing This World and how it is currently functioning and then to become Effective within this.

I am definitely still learning and developing this point for myself but I am on my way. And if I had not been introduced to this way of looking at and living in this world through walking the Desteni Process, who knows where I’d be right now. I was so determined to tell this world to Fuck Off. I was in total conflict with it, Not realizing how it was and is essentially just an extension or externalization of Myself and so really nothing to judge or fight with at all.

This process of realizing that everything that is HERE is ME, including the world system, has also supported me in embracing the differences of others as well which has in turn allowed me to develop relationships in my personal and business life that perhaps would have been very difficult to forge if I was thinking that I didn’t want to work with someone because they had different beliefs as me.

Now I am much more willing to engage with People of ALL different beliefs and simply work to find common ground and support each other from here.

So I am truly grateful for the process I have walked so far with Desteni and I look forward to continuing to walk this process to see what we can create in this world and see what kind of impact all of us walking the desteni process can have on this world to support ourselves and all here to reach our utmost potentials.

If you are interested in getting to know more about this process please visit the links below to learn more

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential

How I Practice Living the Word “GROUNDED” – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 785

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For the past few days I have practicing Living the word ‘Grounded’ to assist and support myself overall, but to also assist and support myself in changing a pattern of mine where I was indulging in ‘Distraction’. What is interesting is that if you look at the word “Distraction” it can be seen as “Dis-Traction” which translates into where you don’t have TRACTION and for me I noticed this dis-traction was also like a ‘slipping’ where I just so easily slip into a pattern of distraction and then being wasteful of my time and self and not really Supporting myself to LIVE they way that I know I am capable of doing. And so for the last few days I have been Living this word Grounded and will share here a few examples of how I have began doing/testing/implementing this into My Self Application.

A few days ago, I was challenged to come up with words that Describe my Physical Body. And here I am not really talking about the physical appearance of the body but more how I have experienced myself as my physical body over the years.  So within slowing myself down and looking throughout my life how I have experienced myself in and as my Body or how I would describe it I came up with a list of words, with the First word on this list being GROUNDED.

For me this experience of myself being Grounded is where I find I am very Stable within myself. I am also very calm and there is very little happening within me. I am Calm, Stable, Quiet, and I find there is a clarity within myself. Like an ability to SEE what is going on around/within me. A Clearness.

Its actually quite a comforting feeling/experience.

There is also this aspect of things moving very slowly or where everything just comes to a halt and I am HERE within myself Grounded and Clear and Clam.

So as part of the Challenge of coming up with words I would describe my physical body experience as, was also to use these words to SUPPORT SELF within ones life and living. And so for me I took on bringing this experience/word more into the Front and Center of my Day to Day living and Awareness and Exploring how I could Support myself by and through Living this word that I Sourced from looking into how I would describe myself as my Human Physical Body.

So firstly what I started doing is “connecting” with this Grounded Experience more often, meaning where I would in moments during my day, just slow things down, breath and see if I can bring through that Grounded Experience within myself that I have over the years in moments accessed, lived and experienced within myself.

I also started doing this to support myself to move out of what I was mentioning earlier about my “Pattern of Distraction” and so I started looking at and exploring how I could use this Word GROUNDED and use that to support me in correcting this pattern of distraction that has become quite prevalent within myself and my life where I just become so easily distracted by things especially the internet and then I would  end up going Deeper into the Distraction and then wasting so much time instead of really creating and developing my Best Self and my Best Life.

So I have begun accessing if you will, this experience of Grounded so for example where I face a moment of where Id normally slip into distraction. Rather, in that moment, I would bring forth this Grounded Experience as this Clam, Stable, Present and Quietness, and I would just calm things down, and Slow things down to a Halt and just be HERE in that Self Physical Groundedness and from there I would not only stop myself from slipping into the distraction because now I HAD TRACTION,  but then I would from that Grounded Stance, Move myself in a Different Direction.

But I would say a Key here was just really slowing down and stopping myself in those moments where id want to just slip away into Distraction. And you know, often times my want and desire for Distraction was based on a Hectic Internal Experience, so within bringing forth a Calm, Slowing Down, Stable experience within myself, it was a point of me Facing that “busy mind experience” slowing myself down, Grounding Myself and then Saying “Okay I am HERE, I am Present, and I am Grounded, so now its like there is Nothing to Run From, No Hectic Experience to Run From because “I am HERE and Grounded” and so this point of Creating this Grounded Stability within me has also been a process over the last few days of Supporting myself to Ground myself in relation my mental/mind experience as a point of just supporting myself to be more HERE and Calm and then within that I Rather Direct myself into something more productive or supportive for me. And so it has supported me to Gain Traction to then Direct Myself instead of existing in Dis-Traction.

For me to LIVE this word also meant where I am actually being MORE PHYSICAL in my Living where often time my points of distraction where more mentally stimulating like watching series/movies and other internet stuff. So for me Living this word Grounded also meant to Live MORE IN my Physical environment, which even means for example taking a moment to tidy up my physical surroundings, or pet the cats, or just sit with myself and breath, or take the time to cook a meal.

So when I began this process I asked myself “How Can I Live this Word Grounded as this Experience that I initially described as this calm, quiet and clear stability within myself, into my physical and mental life and living?”

And from there I looked at how I had so many things always going on in my mind in relation to “all the things I had to do” and this would at times become quite overwhelming, and so another Dimension I have been exploring as a way to Physical Practically LIVE and Create this word ‘Grounded’ is through by Creating a Daily To-Do list for myself where instead of just having all these tasks and things I want and have to do swirling around in my head, I can write them down and practice giving them more Structure and Anchoring them HERE in the Physical on a Piece of Paper that I can use to GROUND all these swirling ideas and my plan here is to within doing things, clear the air a bit as in clearing my mind and have a more Practical Way to walk and plan tasks in my day. This has been something that I have thought about every now and then and saw this as a cool opportunity to implement creating and structuring to-do lists to just Support Myself in keeping more organized and structured in an area of my life that in essence wasn’t really becoming very much grounded using my usual method of just getting to things when and as they popped up in my mind. So I have been working with and developing this utilizing a to-do list structure the past few days which has been enjoyable so far and has supported me to just be more organized within myself and my physical environment.

Okay folks, that’s all for now. A few examples how I have been utilizing and Living this word ‘Grounded’ as a Support for me to correct this pattern of distraction that I had become prone to and to Support myself to Create myself and my Life into something more effective.

 

SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime

The Resistance of “I just don’t really feel like doing it” – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 782

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Resistance

Today after getting home from work I settled in on the couch to just relax a bit before I got into directing some other points I had planned to get to in the evening.

As I sat there on the couch I started feeling a bit more heavy and lethargic and tired and had the usual “well now I don’t really feel like doing much” experience come up within me.

This has been a specific ‘Experience’ I have been accepting and allowing to get the best of me lately and actually for quite a while really. I can actually trace this point back over a year in terms of the nature in how it is existing within me and my life at the moment.

I have started a couple new paintings at home as something that I can do later on the evenings a point of Self Development instead of just essentially wasting my time on the computer. But within this, I am still faced with Resistance as that initial experience of “not really feeling like it” which I see is or has been one of the main points in which I’d allow myself to give into the mind and the reasons and excuses to not Direct, Move, and Express Myself, and LIVE in a more supportive, substantial way.

So it is this specific resistance experience that I am “calling out” in this blog and putting a name to as a specific point for me to be aware of and support myself to walk through in moments when it comes up so I can support myself to Get More Out of Myself and Expand Myself and Live to a Greater Potential.

I noticed that once I got up off the couch and did the dishes and got things ready to paint, that I kind of shook myself out of that lethargic, tiredness experience, and I also noticed that after I had finished with my painting session that I experienced myself as much more alert within myself which if I were to go off my “mind logic”, the same mind that earlier was telling myself that “I don’t really feel like it” then you’d assume that I would be more tired after working more. But I did notice I experienced myself as more alert actually which to me was cool feedback that my Expression was more Supportive for Myself, than just sinking into the couch and vegging out.

Another dimension I am noticing when it comes to moving into processes or expressions of creativity or action is that sometimes it might take a bit of pushing. Like a car that you have to turn over a few times before it starts, and then you can drive away. I noticed this even with this blog tonight, that I had to push myself to “get over” the Blank Page that was staring me in the face where at first I actually didn’t have anything to write about, so it took a bit of pushing and prodding myself to start opening something up and then getting into a flow.

I have also noticed with my paintings that It is very easy to allow myself to accept different judgements about the painting as a justification to not work on it, like thinking “I don’t have a good enough idea” and then so I do nothing.

So this is another dimension I am seeing as a point to be aware of as I walk this process of moving from Simulation to Stimulation meaning where I move from how I would just sit on the couch and entertain myself and basically Simulate all kinds of activity in my mind through watching tv series ect, but that I wouldn’t really STIMULATE myself through actual Physical Self Movement within my Reality.

Okay so just opening up a few dimensions I am seeing within this point of me Walking the Process of Moving From Self Simulation to Self Creation and Self Expression where I am Living/Moving/Stimulating myself in a more Physical, Self Supportive Developmental way.

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