I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to face my responsibilities in my life head on where I have made a decision to walk with a directive of stopping my existence in characters/mind and re-aligning myself to stabilize myself Here with and as myself as the physical where I do not require some character to “cope” with or “face” my world for me but that I am willing to stand here and face any point no matter what it is, assisting and supporting myself to do this.
I commit myself to assist and support myself within writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application to “Live Here” meaning, where I actually support myself to remain here as I walk my day and not accept and allow myself to constantly be jumping from here to there to there and all over the place where I just let go and exist within the mind, following thoughts and pictures, feelings, energies, instead of effectively assisting and supporting myself to in fact “Remain Here” a point that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe is impossible when living in the Matrix.
I commit myself to investigate this point of how I have accepted and allowed myself to come to believe “that it is impossible to stop the mind/character possession when living in the system/matrix” where in I more see myself as powerless, and hopeless and kind of like a rag doll being thrown to and fro, and thus to investigate why and how I have come to accept and allow this experience of myself to be “thrown like a rag doll” around in the system as the experience of myself within attempting to and trying to stop the mind and stabilize myself.
I see here that my experience of myself of being “thrown around like a rag doll” I realize is a self acceptance. That I have created the parameters of this experience in such a way to in fact justify this experience within making it look like “there is nothing I can do”
This experience is where I “let off the brakes” this normally come after a period of pushing myself to become more disciplined, where I will have walked a period of time where I would be more strict/willed in stopping my mind/mind possessions/ following thoughts, etc where then after a period which I would define as a “lengthy” period, I just “let go” and give myself over the mind and then comes in this experience of “being thrown around like a rag doll” doing this within the excuse/nature of “I have done good/enough” now I get a reward or must now compensate for being disciplined.
I commit myself to investigate how I have designed myself in relation to “the reward system” instead of Self Responsibility where I have split my world in 2 categories. That which I like and That which I don’t like where these 2 points must always be in balance and if anything lean towards me doing that which I like, instead of having my world Categorized within the context of Self Responsibility where I Re-Align myself as my Living Application to Walk Practical Self Responsibility as what is best for all no more accepting and allowing my preferences/likes and dislikes to determine what I walk and how I walk it where this end up supporting Self Abuse as my likes and dislikes and preferences has not/is not aligned within the context of in fact Living Existing as Life within the principle of what is best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be addicted to characters where I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the experience of “needing” the experience of that/a particular character where the character as the experience of myself within that character is a Drug that I require to get high off to “cope” with living.
I commit myself to assist and support myself with Breathing as A Tool To Remain Here in the physical, and that when ever I experience a need or want or desire to go into a character I stop and breath and Assist and Support myself to Remain Here and practice facing the world as Myself Here in Self Stability and Self Attention instead of abandoning my responsibilities by accepting and allowing myself to “jump ship” and jump off into some character accepted and allowing myself to deliberately just participate within the mind using the excuse – There is Just to many characters, meanwhile the truth is I have not been Diligent in my Willing Myself to Remain Here using breath as a tool to Develop Stable SELF ATTENTION in ALL moments within my day, where I am always here and able to direct a moment/point immediately instead of first having to pull myself back here before I can assess and direct a moment because I was not here but off somewhere in my mind in some character instead of being here and facing my World in and as Self Attention.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abandon my application of utilizing stopping and breathing to assist and support myself to bring myself back here when ever I see a character possession starting to develop/emerge within myself where in I have started to participate in a character in and as my mind, and so require to stop immediately and bring myself back here utilizing breathing as a support point to do this, on the premise that “there is just to many characters, too many thoughts, too many feelings and emotions, and energies and triggers” and so just give up trying or only assert myself within my application of remaining here for a short time but then allow myself to eventually just give into the Character Stimuli so that I can step into and indulge myself within and as a character where I am literally getting high off my experience within and as a character. Because I cannot bare and face this world head on with only me standing in Self Directed Responsibility.
I commit myself to practice Self Presence as Self Attention where throughout my day I am ensuring that I am Self Aware and HERE in every moment where ALL of me is Here in every moment and so assist and support myself within breathing to transform moments within my day where I would have normally gone into “Character Possession” and leaving myself here as Self Attention, where my Attention goes “out there” / “into and as a Character” To Remain HERE, not going “out there” but remain here as Total Self Attention where in I utilize breathing to stabilize and align myself Here within and as My Human Physical Body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to crash and crumble to the ground when I try and stand as Myself Here facing my world and my responsibilities, where its seems that I have so many characters coming up in every moment attempting to lead me away into mind/character possession, all extending a hand for me to take and walk back into the mind instead of facing myself within facing my reality and my world here in self responsibility where every time I get to a point where I justify that I require to go hide within a character and thus hide from my responsibilities and essentially neglect myself.
I see, realize, understand that developing Self Presence as Self Attention as assisting and supporting myself to within utilizing Breathing/Breath as a tool, assist and support myself to Remain Here throughout my day instead of habitually/programmatically allowing myself to flee from Here going off into the mind/character possession is actually the best course of action for me. I see/realize/understand that to just allow myself to routinely and automatingly participate in/follow thoughts, pictures, feelings / Mind only create instability within me and within my application in process. Thus I commit myself to Align myself within and as a Standing of Consistent Self Attention and Self Stability and to also use this point of Full Self Attention as a “Marker” to find/see what points/characters to specifically work with/release myself from in writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application as well as in my DIP lessons as those that Characters that I accept and allow myself to deliberately become possessed by/ abandon myself Here as My Full Self Attention and Self Stability and Direction for.
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