Living A Balanced Day – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 823

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Today on my drive to work I began opening up the word “weak”.

I have noticed now for a couple weeks or even longer that there has been this background noise experience within myself as a form of weakness and tiredness when it comes to my general experience of myself.

One dimension of this that I am seeing here is that I was spreading myself thin and not living a more balanced life when it comes to the activities in my life.

For the past few months I have been pushing 2 different expressions when it comes to my art. This past weekend this process came to a head where I essentially decided to rather than continue focusing so much on both, to now just more focus on one.

An interesting side affect of this is this blog. Because normally when I would get home from my day doing one art expression, I would begin preparing for and going into the other art expression.

And so most of my focus was on doing art and I wouldn’t really get to doing much of anything else like for instance taking an evening and sitting down with myself and writing a blog.

What I am seeing is that within pursuing two art expressions, that I created within myself a form of anxiety as a ‘chasing experience’ in that I was feeling like I wasn’t moving both points effectively and so often felt incomplete at the end of each day.

Its interesting through as I am only seeing this now because I have noticed yesterday and today when I got home from a day of work in the carving studio that I experience myself as much more calm where before I would just feel the urgency to jump into my second art expression and so ended up creating a rushed and anxious experience within myself and as I am writing this I am also seeing how this would contribute to that tired/weak experience I referenced at the beginning of this blog.

This brings up an interesting question about balance and how to create balance in ones life through the activities one does each day

Because yes, I have been productive in recent months while I was pushing to do both art expressions, however was this ‘productivity’ actually a compromise of self and creating more havoc in myself and life than contributing to it.

So here I can redefine the word ‘Productivity’ to include a kind of balance of activities where I give to myself all that I need, and not just try and push one point all the time as much as possible while neglecting other aspects of myself and my life because ultimately one ends up tired, stressed, and anxious like I found myself.

To be productive may not mean just doing one thing all the time full-out as much as possible, but rather should include Balance, like eating a balanced meal where the body requires a balanced intake of different foods to get the sustenance it requires.

So I am now looking at Productivity in this way to include balance (Like a balanced meal) and to create that point of completion where one actually feels fulfilled and complete, instead of how I was feeling at the end of each day which was “I never did enough” and so felt stressed and anxious and actually incomplete.

So here ‘Productivity’ is not about getting a lot done but getting the right stuff done in a balanced way to cultivate that point of completion each day. Excess is not productive because then you do more of one thing and compromise other aspects of yourself and life.

So, is your day balanced and complete like a complete meal leading to fulfilment.

Or are you just all potatoes.

Links I follow

https://eqafe.com/ – Understanding Everything

https://www.patreon.com/earthhaven/overview – One World Solution

https://www.patreon.com/mindbodyinnerverse/overview – Understanding Self

 

 

 

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Opening the Gifts of Everyday Life – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 821

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Opening Up A Moment.

What does it mean to open up a moment and get the most out of a moment?

This is the question and process I will be exploring in this blog to assist and support myself to substantiate a recent realization that came through with regards to how I can practice and refine my Living Expression so I can get the most out of myself, my life and what is here.

 

And this a Key – ‘What is HERE’

 

I find that I have the tendency to overlook what is right here as my life and to also Judge what is here where I judge my life and how it is, and what I have, my environment, my job, my relationships, my hobbies, my routines, ect. I judge everything seeing and thinking it is just not good enough, that ‘there is nothing there’ that it is boring, that its wrong, or broken, or not enough, and then I go through each day and it becomes a struggle in a way.

 

When I do this, I start looking ‘out there’ I start looking at and desiring something else, something more, something better.

 

My question is however…

 

When I do this, when I judge myself and my life in this way, am I preventing myself from seeing what is really here and so preventing myself from receiving the gifts of everyday normal life.

 

This has been a shift that I have been practicing of late.

 

Receiving the Gifts of Everyday Ordinary Life.

Essentially, extracting the fruit of the moment.

 

Though I have been practicing this process, I’d say at this stage that this entire process or concept is largely a Realization that I have still to actualize and Live and Express for real within my life, though I have began this process and have began settling down more in day to day life.

 

So lately I have been practicing Focusing on What is HERE in the moment to moment of my life. It makes a lot of sense to do this, and that instead of trying to go out and find a new life or new relationships, to actually FOCUS ON WHAT IS HERE as the Relationships, Points, and Processes that I am already engaged in and look at where I am not getting the most out of the Life that I have already created for myself.

 

And to dig into the moments more.

I see I can bee more engaged in the relationships that already are here but that I have kind of not tended to or participated in.

 

That is not to say that I shouldn’t go ahead and open up new relationships or points or processes. Its more a point of embracing what is already here to its Fullest instead of resisting it, judging it, and pushing it away.

 

So this has to do with realizing the Gifts of Everyday Life, where now I can redirect my focus to HERE and to getting the most out of each moment instead of thinking I need this great grand life or experience to have fulfillment, and to rather Extract from the Ordinary to create the Extraordinary from what is simply here.

 

For me I have had a tendency to expect the worst and to assume that I am messing everything up and that my life is falling apart because there is something not right or there is something I am doing wrong. So this is another point I see is important for me to adjust within myself and for me to rather Embrace the Successes in my life. This is something else I have been working with. I have been working on Celebrating my life more. And Honoring what I have created as my life at the moment. And practicing letting go of that paranoid anxiety that I sometimes allow to take me over to the point where I end up living in fear that everything is all wrong and will fall apart.

 

This Is also connected to Slowing Down which is the Words that I am utilizing to support in this process of stepping out of my anxious paranoia that I am somehow fucking everything up, and to rather embrace and acknowledging my Life and what I have created, allowing myself to See the Good also, instead of always just seeing and focusing on the bad.

 

So moving forward my direction will be to embrace what is here, embrace the moment, embrace the ordinary and to open up the moment, open up the ordinary and see what is here. This way I don’t have to go out and try and find some miraculous moment or over the top experience to experience some sense of fun and fulfillment within myself, but to rather work with what is already here in every moment which is actually quite cool because it takes the pressure off where I can now Look into the Ordinary and uncover the Gifts and Gems of Everyday Life and acknowledge and Explore this Potential that Everyday Life is a Treasure to Behold.

PROSPERITY – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 816

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Recently I have been looking at my career/job and finding words that I would like to have be embodied and expressed within my career/job that I see are not yet existing in ways that I would like. In doing this I came up with a list of 5 words with one of them being  ‘Prosperity’. These words more emerged organically out of the writing I was doing.

Now my approach with looking at and learning how to bring these words through as expressions and outcomes into my career is to first look at how I can Live, embody, and express each word for and as Myself where I first look at each word on a more personal level.

So in essence these words don’t necessarily have to do only with my job and for me it makes sense that anything to do with my job/career is actually simply a reflection of ME and so if I would like certain words to be a part of my career/job, then I must actually make them a part of ME on a fundamental level of who I am and how I live moment to moment.

So one of the words I was looking at was the word ‘Prosperity’ and so what does it mean for me to LIVE this word for myself in my moment to moment living.

In writing about this word Prosperity I began to pull through some context for myself about what this word really means, what I would like it to mean, and also how I can LIVE this word for myself in relation to creating my utmost potential for myself and others and one of the dimensions I am working with is that ‘Prosperity’ does not exist in isolation, so meaning, prosperity does not mean I take from someone else to get more. And I think this method of prosperity Is actually more common in this world than it really should be where some are prosperous at the expense of others, but then to me this isn’t really ‘Prosperity’ because connected to it is actually suffering. So then how does one live prosperity where ALL are benefited from the outcome.

So I have been taking this point of prosperity down to an individual level and looking at how I can live and express this word from moment to moment and what that would look like.

How would I live this word while doing the dishes, or communicating with someone, or interacting with my cats, or writing this blog.

Prosperity within the context of this blog is where the BENEFITS would be achieved not just for me but for others as well. So this ‘mutual receiving of benefits’ was just one dimension of this word ‘Prosperity’ that I have been looking at and taking into my living actions and asking myself how each moment or activity can be a prosperous one.

I wonder if my overall presence in terms of how I am existing on a mental/presence/mind state is a prosperous one? Or do I supress myself and judge myself and allow behaviors and patterns that really just cycle over and over in the same point and not really creating anything new, different, fresh. So here I can see looking at prosperity on this level could be a cool way to re-define this word for myself.

I am now reminded of the word ‘Fallow” where in agriculture this is where fields are allowed to rest for a season and are not planted so that they can regenerate. And I see how with how my mind works, I tend to often only focus on the same or similar things and similar thoughts throughout my day which I see would then always just lead to the same outcome and essentially exhausting the ‘fruit’ if you will that comes from ones ideas and expressions. So here in terms of Living the word ‘Prosperity’ I understand here a necessity to not just live out the same patterns and thoughts daily, but to direct oneself to include NEW ways of thinking/being/expressing so to open up new fruits to be born and give the old exhausted trees of thought and action a rest for a while.

 

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential

Do I Have an Impact in the Lives of Others? – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 815

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I have recently been listening to the New Eqafe series on the statement “I Matter” and will share here what I gained from the interviews as well as how I am applying in my own living what I have been listening too.

One of the questions posed in the series that stood out the most to me was the question of Who you are in relation to other people in your life and DO YOU MATTER in their lives at all or the questions I was reflecting while listening to the interviews was “Do I matter to these people or am I just kind of there in their lives and having no impact on them or their lives what so ever?” Is that who I want to be for others and myself?”

Now this question of “Do I matter” has nothing to do with wanting or needing others to recognize me. It more has to do with Looking at Myself and how I live and considering how I want to live and who I could potentially be in this world and the kind of impact I could have on peoples lives and the people around me instead of just kind of existing as a fly on the wall where its like I am actually having very little impact on peoples lives.

This question raised in this series I thought was a really cool point for me because I have noticed that I do have quite a small circle of individuals in my life and my relationship with them can at times be very inconsequential.

I can see for myself that actually I would rather contribute some real value to peoples lives instead of just kind of ‘being there’.

A couple days before this interview I had received an e-mail from a colleague of mine asking me for some information. My immediate reaction was going into resistance towards providing the info, in particular providing the info in a level of detail that would actually be supportive for him. I had thoughts like “its not my responsibility to provide you this stuff” and “your getting me to do your legwork” and other thoughts in this nature where I didn’t want to at all put in ANY Effort whatsoever to give this info to this individual aside from the bare minimum. I could see that I was in fact having a little emotional tantrum and so I decided to just let the point go for now and re-visit it later after I’d sorted out my reaction.

So as I was listening to the I Matter Series on Eqafe and I started seeing this consideration to actually move myself to actually start Mattering in the relationships I have in my life, I saw how, if I were to actually put in the time to really give my colleague a thorough detailed response to his inquiry that I really could be an actual support to his project and his life.

So this is exactly what I did.

Obviously this is something that I have to push more with myself where I stop just doing the bare minimum when it comes to who I am in relation to others and the kinds of contributions I give to others unconditionally. You know, I see that I can also do with any kind of project I am doing also, where I really give it my all. So it just doesn’t go for peer to peer relationships, but ALL relationships that one is existing in within ones life.

I remember 10 years ago, an individual literally changed the course of my life by actually putting in the effort to answer some questions I had where this individual provided me with support that could have easily just not been given. From my perspective, I was a complete stranger and I was not really giving anything in return, and yet the answers I received for my questions went above and beyond the scope of common human curtesy. To me it revealed a genuine and real interest in MAKING A DIFFERENCE in this world and in the lives of others.

So this is definitely something I would like to contribute and continue to develop and become within myself where I push myself to have a real impact on the lives of others, where I do this not only for them but for me and for the world as a whole.

Id highly recommend this series which began with the following interview. – https://eqafe.com/p/purpose-has-left-the-building-reptilians-part-560

 

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential

The Force of Fear – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 814

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Last week I ended up leaving work early after noticing some pain and discomfort in my shoulder. I decided I would take the rest of the week off, and the weekend as I usually do and be ready for work again on Monday. By Sunday it was clear that the injury I sustained would require more time for healing. I set a new goal to be back to work mid-week and now today marks the mid-week and once again I am met with the reality of the situation, that more time is required.

So this has been an interesting experience/process because suddenly and unexpectedly I am unable to do the job and purpose I have given myself and have been focusing on for the past 4 years.

The first couple days I resisted facing myself, meaning I resisted facing myself in those moments where I would have to direct myself where normally I would be at work giving all my attention and energy to that where suddenly I have been forced into a different reality where what I have been focusing on day in and day out for the past few years is not an option, and so I now I have to figure out something else to do with myself and my time.

In a way this is actually quite cool because I haven’t really had a moment to do this in quite some time because I kind of created a routine that I have been living out and so not really needing to create my day in any other way than the usual routine.

I had been trying to work through the pain for a while until finally I pushed it too far and ended up hurting myself.

This brought up some considerations for me regarding how I wasn’t really directing myself supportively and so I have been looking at what experiences lead up to the injury and how I can adjust and realign my approach to my job so that I am doing it in a more supportive and sustainable way instead of just soldiering through with my head down, insisting that, I have no other choice, then suddenly my body physically gives out.

One driving force in this reality that I see I have definitely allowed to influence me in my life which contributed to this injury is the force of FEAR. And specifically Fear in relation to survival which is connected with Money and so one drives oneself to make money getting so caught up in that FEAR of Survival that in my case I pushed my physical body in such a way where it gave out.

So definitely some introspection necessary here to sort this accepted Fear of Survival taking such a hold on my expression and drive and direction in life to the point where I needed a physical reminder as a body injury to SNAP ME OUT OF IT or at least put in a position where I stop for a moment and look at how I have been living.

Actually in all honesty, I am also relieved. Relieved to be able to have a moment to not think about that  which I have been thinking about soooooo much for the past 4 years, and so I have an opportunity to kind of just step back for a moment and assess everything and step out of those thought patterns that I have been engaged in for so long. So yes, some relief to now just have a moment to step out of that routine.

So in assessing my physical body day to day, I would say I am at LEAST a week away from returning to work. And during this time I can began practicing LISTENING to my Body and actually Honoring the feedback its giving me and stop accepting and allowing myself to come up with reasons to continue pushing myself until I get hurt. I told myself  “I had no choice” where now that things have slowed down a bit, I do see that I actually during that time I was busy pushing to complete the projects I wanted too, that I did have a choice during that time and I could have slowed down, and been more patient. So its been an interesting few days and I will continue to walk both the inner and outer of supporting myself through this injury process.

 

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential

 

A More Engaging REST – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 812

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In my last blog, I began looking into the words ‘Rest’ and ‘Relaxation’ and seeing how for me I had accepted a definition of these words that isn’t as supportive as it could be where I often find myself trying to rest by doing as little as possible, which I actually find more just ends up with me going into experiences of laziness, apathy, idleness and even depression, So in seeing this, I realized for myself that I can Re-define the word ‘Rest’ for myself so that it is more supportive and in this I see how ‘Resting’ doesn’t have to mean ‘doing as little as possible’ at all.

So essentially I see here that within my new definition and application of the word ‘Rest’ that I would like this application to be more engaging and active.

So today as I was out and about on my Sunday, I allowed myself to ‘be out’ and simply saw this as part of my process of ‘resting’ which I saw more as an opportunity to simply change my focus away from work for instance which I focus on all week, and turn my attention to something else.

So today I actually went on a small hike and so approached this whole event as a point of ‘Rest’, essentially taking my mind and myself out of my normal routine and doing something different.

So this is essentially in line how I am going to explore re-defining and living the word Rest for myself when I am off of work, and see how my overall physical and mental experience is. Where ‘Rest’ is no more ‘doing as little as possible’ which then becomes a kind of polar opposite to work, but rather I would like to explore living the word ‘Rest’ more within an engaging context where I am more active, participatory and engaged. I can see that already just in letting go of the pre-conceived idea I had accepted within myself about what the word ‘Rest’ meant, that I was able to enjoy my experience more today instead constantly thinking to myself that “I have to get home and rest” or that “this is not restful” because to me I had accepted ‘rest’ to be where ‘I did very little’. So yes, overall going to begin testing out this New Way of Resting where its doesn’t mean ‘doing as little as possible’ but where it is rather something more engaging, active, and supportive for me physically and mentally.

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential

The Weekend Crash – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 811

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So today is one of the more difficult days in my week because it’s ‘the weekend’. In recent blogs I have been writing about the point of motivation and some of the principles I have utilized over the years to support myself within my application with my Job and the process of developing an art business. Now one aspect of this whole process has been realizing that my ‘success’ within my work should not be at the expense of my success in other things.

So for example I have found often that I can become quite effective at my application at work, but then when I am at home, its like “I don’t know what to do with myself” and actually one of my struggles is getting through my days off without completely sinking into laziness, depression, idleness, where at times I end up in this experience of putting ALL my effort into my work week and then when I get to the weekend, I collapse. And am pretty much useless.

So a process I am still working on for myself is to develop more of a consistency within my LIFE EXPRESSION where there isn’t a polarity or division between who I am at work and who I am at home or who I am during the work week versus on the weekends.

I find I have the tendency to be single minded and because of this I do not expand myself into other expressions and so there is no balance to my life in terms of where I am allocating my efforts. Rather it’s like Work and Art is KING and then there is everything else. And often I want to rush through doing other things like cooking for myself or doing some other activity or spending time socializing because I have compartmentalized my life into “me at work” and “me resting” and then maybe a few other points but then this becomes a kind of polarity where on the weekends I only rest and do nothing else, and then during the week I work and I do nothing else and then they become likes extremes. Or at least this is an assessment of my situation in looking at what could be contributing to my Weekend Crashes or even my lack of enthusiasm towards doing anything other than what I have defined my life to be as Work and Rest.

So this is a point I am still finding a balance with and still in the process of creating for myself where I am more consistent within my experience of myself instead of jumping back and forth between the “work experience” and “rest experience”

I can see here that I could actually benefit from Redefining the word REST or RELAX because my current definition of this is simply me laying around doing nothing. So here I see I can include activities and expressions that are more supportive both physically and mentally because actually ‘laying around’ is not supportive when its all your doing and then you end up, as I do, sinking into boredom or depression or idleness, So yes, Here seeing a New approach to ‘Resting’ and ‘Relaxing’ where this just doesn’t have to be meaning that I must do as little as possible. Okay cool, so pulled through some Direction with this point. I will continue with this either here in blogs to come or in my own personal writings which I utilize also in opening up and understanding points.

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential