My eyes got a little heavier this afternoon and I started becoming more spacey and sluggish at the same time. This was after 2 long days of corresponding with clients for the gallery I work with.
Yet in a way. This is exactly what I wanted, and a clear experience of fulfillment is actually starting to come through within me, as I am actually growing/developing
The last 2 days I have found myself moving beyond my usual threshold of what I can comfortably handle with regards to sending, and receiving emails and communicating and interacting with clients co-workers, and peers, in a professional, articulate, specific, and concise manner.
This to me is an indication that I am actually enhancing my ability to do this.
When I decided to move forward with spending a few days a week working in the gallery that represents me as an artist, one of the skills that I was wanting to enhance within me, that I felt at the time was diminishing, was my communication skills.
I have been writing more blogs lately also to support in developing my ability to express through writing and ultimately develop these skills of communication.
This blogging in part was to support me more at work where writing is an absolutely key and paramount expression used in the overall functioning and movement of the company within the greater system.
And I figure the more effectively I can become at this this skill, the more value I can add to the business, and to my own life and the lives of others.
I no doubt have given myself the opportunity to walk the point I am now walking because of all of the blogging I have done over the years which helped me develop a decent ability and confidence to write.
But spending all week or all month or all year doing mostly and only art I found that that part of me which flourished when I was blogging and writing more, started to disappear and diminish and I missed it. I missed having that confidence in writing and also communicating. I missed feeling like I could command an email rather than being all anxious that I was doing it wrong or that it was too complicated.
So this has been one of the most welcome qualities with taking on a few shifts a week in the gallery.
I have been able to begin developing my communication skills again and I have been enjoying it.
I have even noticed a passion for doing it. An unexpected determination to develop and enhance this part of myself the same way as I approach art and am determined to create and refine my artistic expression.
For me I see the value in developing this communicative part of myself with the written and spoken word because of how our world system very much functions around this aspect of ourselves.
But also because I am noticing how it makes me feel stronger and more confident within myself and within the world. I honestly was not expecting this in this way, though I had a sneaky feeling that “this just might be what the doctor ordered” when I agreed to spend some time in the gallery and cut back on the amount of time I invested in creating art. In a way, I needed to diversify my investment portfolio. And so decided to invest myself in working some shifts in the gallery as well.
So this blog is simply about how I have had the opportunity to exercise, and as a result strengthen my communication muscles the past few months and how this is definitely supporting me in my life outside as well as when I am at my job.
I forgive myself as my being, my innocence for accepting and allowing myself to still become anxious when I am writing emails, where I have an urgency or haste come into me where ‘I just want to get it done quickly and directed as quick as possible so that emails don’t pile up’ and in this accept and allow myself to be moved and motivated by anxiety instead of in those moments making sure I breathe and slow myself down and ground myself HERE
When and as I see myself receiving an email that I have to answer and I start to move into a state of haste, and slight anxiety, wanting to just answer it quickly so that its done, I stop and I breathe. I remind myself in these moments that the best outcome will be if I remain stable and clear and grounded within myself so that I do not rush over details or considerations but give myself the necessary time required to check all the boxes and make sure I am thorough in my assessment of the email and then response there-of. I commit myself to practice CALMunication where I practice slowing myself down during my various writing processes and practicing being thorough and stable within the expression of my emails instead of accepting and allowing myself to feel like “I must do it now” and become moved by anxiety.
I forgive myself as my being, my innocence for accepting and allowing myself to fear the phone, and resist the phone, and not want to talk on the phone and to define myself as bad or dysfunctional or not good on the phone.
When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to resist the phone, I stop immediately and I take a breath, and in that breath I move into embracing fully my new approach to using the phone where I am committed to becoming more effective or dare I say an expert on the phone where I can communicate confidently and expertly and become highly functional on the phone which I see can only happen with PRACTICE and through by allowing myself to place myself into various situation with using the phone.
Thanks for Reading.