I have fell into this habit of waiting for inspiration, of looking at things to try and see inspiration in them before I will engage or participate with that thing. But I realize that INspiration comes from the INside not the outside.
Inspiration is not something you feel or something that happens to you. Inspiration is an act. To Inspire is like breathing, where to inhale is to breathe in and fill oneself with the breath of life. Literally, if you stop physically breathing, you die. And so to INSPIRE is to Fill with LIFE. It is an action and to INSPIRE something that is EXPIRED, you must give it your attention and your participation and in this you become a creator INSPIRING things, filling things with Life so they can grow. Like planting and tending to a garden you as creator play your part in the inspiration and growth of the garden through your direct participation, in planting the seeds, watering the plants, pulling the weeds, harvesting the fruits and roots of your labor. In operating a business, you are required to participate, to engage, to inspire that business, to animate it, to bring it life, through your direct participation, and engagement, and so I see, realize, and understand here that ‘waiting for inspiration’ is backwards. I realize that INspiration is INside me, is INnate. Its not called OUTspiration
So I commit to make this adjustment and begin participating with my reality as a way to INSPIRE Life into my reality, instead of waiting for my reality to inspire life into me.
Last night after having allowed my blog to sit stagnant for many many many many many months with just a few posts here and there I wrote a few paragraphs and shared it. In continuing with the theme from last night “Living Words” I will continue here with describing and defining the word “INSPIRATION” which opened up last night with the experience of posting in my blog after many months where it had felt like this thing that had sat stagnant and dead for so long suddenly opened up and became alive or at least showed signs of life. It reminded me of a house plant that finally receives a drink of water after going un-replenished for so long where the thing suddenly springs back to life and within hours you can already see a vigor a life return to the plant, coursing through its leave as they once again appear vibrant, and full of life.
My words and the posts in my blog are essentially like water to a plant. The posts are what feeds the blog and allows it to grow and be alive.
I have thought about publishing some writing for a while now but normally and even last night, I wasn’t completely sure and never had anything pressing or pushing inside me to get out, though this idea had been coming up frequently but not with any new revelations as to why I should actually go ahead and post something. I felt indifferent towards it and would just follow my usual routine of not bothering and believing “naw, nothing will come of it anyway”
But last night I decided to go ahead and post something, which actually began first with a decision to sit down and write on my computer with the intention of actually publishing it. I was sitting there in the couch and I had this resistance initially to write because I was going to have to physically change positions and sit up and give myself and my attention to this task, which I initially resisted slightly but physically moved myself to just do. That first moment was/is important to be aware of where I had to move through some initial resistances to actually physically directing myself move. At first it was just a post for a facebook group, which I later naturally expanded on and decided to create it into a blog post.
Lately I have been waiting a lot for things to first really inspire me before I would move myself to participate with them or give myself to that particular expression. But inside I wouldn’t really feel inspired and in fact would mostly just feel like “naww I don’t want to” and would wait for some other more positive feeling energy to replace that “I don’t want to” statement. But nothing ever would and so I would just meander through my day not really directing myself to do anything or engage myself in anything if that thing didn’t first “speak to me” It’s the classic case of ‘waiting for inspiration’
Its like I was waiting and wanting a thing to be ALIVE and filled with Life without me actually moving myself to INSPIRE and Fill and ignite that thing with my active participation and engagement into it.
I was waiting for my life to animate me instead of the other way around.
Nothing moves if I do not move it.
I realize that I am the source of my own life and that if I want parts of my life to be engaged and grow, I actually have to be the one to ignite and animate through my direct participation.
They will not move without me and so thus I must remember that I actually have the power to make something come alive!
I am the creator of my life and the things in it.
I am the giver of life.
What stood out to me last night after I had posted my blog was the question “How many other things in my life that I have been perceiving to be gone, lost, dead, nothing, unimportant, are actually simply waiting for me to feed them, to give my attention to them, to participate with them to give them that needed flow of water and that are ready to spring back to life?
So the word I am going to practice Living is the word “INSPIRATION”. Where in this dimension of the word I have opened up, to INSPIRE, one must give ones attention, participation, and engagement into something for it to become alive, animated, fulfilled, and grow.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait for things to inspire me when it is in fact the other way around where to LIVE and BE a Creator I am the one responsible for INSPIRING my reality, life, and the things in it through my participation within them, I am the one responsible for bringing things to life, for animating and growing the projects and purposes of my life with and through my direct participation and engagement with them/my life, and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have separated myself from the “Life Giving” process where I had it in reverse all the time, waiting for inspiration, not realizing that Giving Inspiration as Attention, and Participation was and is my gift, my power, and my ability as creator of myself and my life and the things in it.