Living Words: INSPIRATION – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 829

INSPIRATION

I have fell into this habit of waiting for inspiration, of looking at things to try and see inspiration in them before I will engage or participate with that thing. But I realize that INspiration comes from the INside not the outside.

Inspiration is not something you feel or something that happens to you. Inspiration is an act. To Inspire is like breathing, where to inhale is to breathe in and fill oneself with the breath of life. Literally, if you stop physically breathing, you die. And so to INSPIRE is to Fill with LIFE. It is an action and to INSPIRE something that is EXPIRED, you must give it your attention and your participation and in this you become a creator INSPIRING things, filling things with Life so they can grow. Like planting and tending to a garden you as creator play your part in the inspiration and growth of the garden through your direct participation, in planting the seeds, watering the plants, pulling the weeds, harvesting the fruits and roots of your labor. In operating a business, you are required to participate, to engage, to inspire that business, to animate it, to bring it life, through your direct participation, and engagement, and so I see, realize, and understand here that ‘waiting for inspiration’ is backwards. I realize that INspiration is INside me, is INnate. Its not called OUTspiration

So I commit to make this adjustment and begin participating with my reality as a way to INSPIRE Life into my reality, instead of waiting for my reality to inspire life into me.

Last night after having allowed my blog to sit stagnant for many many many many many months with just a few posts here and there I wrote a few paragraphs and shared it. In continuing with the theme from last night “Living Words” I will continue here with describing and defining the word “INSPIRATION” which opened up last night with the experience of posting in my blog after many months where it had felt like this thing that had sat stagnant and dead for so long suddenly opened up and became alive or at least showed signs of life. It reminded me of a house plant that finally receives a drink of water after going un-replenished for so long where the thing suddenly springs back to life and within hours you can already see a vigor a life return to the plant, coursing through its leave as they once again appear vibrant, and full of life.

My words and the posts in my blog are essentially like water to a plant. The posts are what feeds the blog and allows it to grow and be alive.

I have thought about publishing some writing for a while now but normally and even last night, I wasn’t completely sure and never had anything pressing or pushing inside me to get out, though this idea had been coming up frequently but not with any new revelations as to why I should actually go ahead and post something. I felt indifferent towards it and would just follow my usual routine of not bothering and believing “naw, nothing will come of it anyway”

But last night I decided to go ahead and post something, which actually began first with a decision to sit down and write on my computer with the intention of actually publishing it. I was sitting there in the couch and I had this resistance initially to write because I was going to have to physically change positions and sit up and give myself and my attention to this task, which I initially resisted slightly but physically moved myself to just do. That first moment was/is important to be aware of where I had to move through some initial resistances to actually physically directing myself move. At first it was just a post for a facebook group, which I later naturally expanded on and decided to create it into a blog post.

Lately I have been waiting a lot for things to first really inspire me before I would move myself to participate with them or give myself to that particular expression. But inside I wouldn’t really feel inspired and in fact would mostly just feel like “naww I don’t want to” and would wait for some other more positive feeling energy to replace that “I don’t want to” statement.  But nothing ever would and so I would just meander through my day not really directing myself to do anything or engage myself in anything if that thing didn’t first “speak to me” It’s the classic case of ‘waiting for inspiration’

Its like I was waiting and wanting a thing to be ALIVE and filled with Life without me actually moving myself to INSPIRE and Fill and ignite that thing with my active participation and engagement into it.

I was waiting for my life to animate me instead of the other way around.

Nothing moves if I do not move it.

I realize that I am the source of my own life and that if I want parts of my life to be engaged and grow, I actually have to be the one to ignite and animate through my direct participation.

They will not move without me and so thus I must remember that I actually have the power to make something come alive!

I am the creator of my life and the things in it.

I am the giver of life.

The inspirer.

What stood out to me last night after I had posted my blog was the question “How many other things in my life that I have been perceiving to be gone, lost, dead, nothing, unimportant, are actually simply waiting for me to feed them, to give my attention to them, to participate with them to give them that needed flow of water and that are ready to spring back to life?

So the word I am going to practice Living is the word “INSPIRATION”. Where in this dimension of the word I have opened up, to INSPIRE, one must give ones attention, participation, and engagement into something for it to become alive, animated, fulfilled, and grow.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait for things to inspire me when it is in fact the other way around where to LIVE and BE a Creator I am the one responsible for INSPIRING my reality, life, and the things in it through my participation within them, I am the one responsible for bringing things to life, for animating and growing the projects and purposes of my life with and through my direct participation and engagement with them/my life,  and I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have separated myself from the “Life Giving” process where I had it in reverse all the time, waiting for inspiration, not realizing that Giving Inspiration as Attention, and Participation was and is my gift, my power, and my ability as creator of myself and my life and the things in it.

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LIVING WORDS: SELF PRESENCE – An Artists Journey to Life: Day 828

Lately I have been practicing this word PRESENCE.

I have observed within myself a tendency to mindlessly scroll the internet like facebook or Instagram or even checking my email numerous times a day, simply to see if anything has moved or if there is something happening on these platforms that would stimulate me or trigger some kind of movement of myself in my life. It culminated to where I would automatically reach for my phone in the moments in between tasks or events or in down time, having the effect of extending these moments into longer durations where I would literally be doing nothing but numbing my own Self Awareness and Presence. So recently I began practicing this word PRESENCE through by placing some boundaries on my social media and online usage. My starting point is to re-establish Self Presence and to ground myself more in my body and my flesh. Instead of spending time on Instagram and facebook to ‘see what was happening’ I picked up a Real Book and have been in investing myself into reading and ultimately practicing just slowing down. I have also been directing myself to literally just sit there in a moment with myself and give myself moment to process the inbetween times as I move from one task to another or when I get up in the morning instead of just jumping into my phone, I have been pausing for a moment and asking myself what else can I do here in the physical in my actual reality to support, direct and express myself. I see I can also look inward in moments to CHECK MYSELF , to ‘see what is happening’ instead of checking my phone to see what is happening and so it is a reorientation of how I have been living where my Purpose is create a more substantial and grounded presence of self.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like if I do not check my e-mail to see if I have new emails that I am going to miss out on something important.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be driven by anxiety

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become anxious when thinking about ‘checking my email’ because I have conditioned myself into thinking and believing that the success or failure or movement of my reality hinges on the emails I get, when in fact the movement of my reality is based on how I am moving myself from moment to moment in the physical.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize, and understand that when I am so fixated on checking my email to see whats in there that I have lost touch with actual Self Movement and now have devolved into ‘waiting for something or someone else outside of me to stimulate me or motivate me into movement’ and I essentially have abdicated myself from my own ability to Move and Direct Myself with my own Self Will and Ability.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that the emails coming into my inbox are actually based on my own actual physical reality movements and so what is best for me is to remain HERE and diligent in my practicing REAL SELF MOVEMENT.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the movement of my inbox is actually a symptom of how I have already moved myself and so if I am waiting for emails to motivate, stimulate, and give me reason to move myself, I have already separated myself from the SOURCE of actual Self Movement, which is ME Moving myself in my physical reality.

When and as I see myself  wanting to ‘check my e-mail’ because of a surge of anxiety rise up within me, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that it is these moments where I can support myself to ground myself and create myself to be Self Directive rather than being moved and directed by anxiety energy, and so here in these moments I commit myself to Live the word SELF PRESENCE, by stopping and breathing and remaining HERE, not accepting and allowing myself to move according to anxiety but to instead Direct Myself to remain here in the moment and to assess myself and my reality in what I can do and how I can direct, move and express myself in a supportive and effective way, and so proceed to DIRECT ME based on practical common sense and what is best for me and best for all, and to within this Live and create myself within and as the word SELF PRESENCE aligned with what is best for self and best for all.

Living A Balanced Day – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 823

Today on my drive to work I began opening up the word “weak”.

I have noticed now for a couple weeks or even longer that there has been this background noise experience within myself as a form of weakness and tiredness when it comes to my general experience of myself.

One dimension of this that I am seeing here is that I was spreading myself thin and not living a more balanced life when it comes to the activities in my life.

For the past few months I have been pushing 2 different expressions when it comes to my art. This past weekend this process came to a head where I essentially decided to rather than continue focusing so much on both, to now just more focus on one.

An interesting side affect of this is this blog. Because normally when I would get home from my day doing one art expression, I would begin preparing for and going into the other art expression.

And so most of my focus was on doing art and I wouldn’t really get to doing much of anything else like for instance taking an evening and sitting down with myself and writing a blog.

What I am seeing is that within pursuing two art expressions, that I created within myself a form of anxiety as a ‘chasing experience’ in that I was feeling like I wasn’t moving both points effectively and so often felt incomplete at the end of each day.

Its interesting through as I am only seeing this now because I have noticed yesterday and today when I got home from a day of work in the carving studio that I experience myself as much more calm where before I would just feel the urgency to jump into my second art expression and so ended up creating a rushed and anxious experience within myself and as I am writing this I am also seeing how this would contribute to that tired/weak experience I referenced at the beginning of this blog.

This brings up an interesting question about balance and how to create balance in ones life through the activities one does each day

Because yes, I have been productive in recent months while I was pushing to do both art expressions, however was this ‘productivity’ actually a compromise of self and creating more havoc in myself and life than contributing to it.

So here I can redefine the word ‘Productivity’ to include a kind of balance of activities where I give to myself all that I need, and not just try and push one point all the time as much as possible while neglecting other aspects of myself and my life because ultimately one ends up tired, stressed, and anxious like I found myself.

To be productive may not mean just doing one thing all the time full-out as much as possible, but rather should include Balance, like eating a balanced meal where the body requires a balanced intake of different foods to get the sustenance it requires.

So I am now looking at Productivity in this way to include balance (Like a balanced meal) and to create that point of completion where one actually feels fulfilled and complete, instead of how I was feeling at the end of each day which was “I never did enough” and so felt stressed and anxious and actually incomplete.

So here ‘Productivity’ is not about getting a lot done but getting the right stuff done in a balanced way to cultivate that point of completion each day. Excess is not productive because then you do more of one thing and compromise other aspects of yourself and life.

So, is your day balanced and complete like a complete meal leading to fulfilment.

Or are you just all potatoes.

Links I follow

https://eqafe.com/ – Understanding Everything

https://www.patreon.com/earthhaven/overview – One World Solution

https://www.patreon.com/mindbodyinnerverse/overview – Understanding Self

 

 

 

Opening the Gifts of Everyday Life – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 821

Opening Up A Moment.

What does it mean to open up a moment and get the most out of a moment?

This is the question and process I will be exploring in this blog to assist and support myself to substantiate a recent realization that came through with regards to how I can practice and refine my Living Expression so I can get the most out of myself, my life and what is here.

 

And this a Key – ‘What is HERE’

 

I find that I have the tendency to overlook what is right here as my life and to also Judge what is here where I judge my life and how it is, and what I have, my environment, my job, my relationships, my hobbies, my routines, ect. I judge everything seeing and thinking it is just not good enough, that ‘there is nothing there’ that it is boring, that its wrong, or broken, or not enough, and then I go through each day and it becomes a struggle in a way.

 

When I do this, I start looking ‘out there’ I start looking at and desiring something else, something more, something better.

 

My question is however…

 

When I do this, when I judge myself and my life in this way, am I preventing myself from seeing what is really here and so preventing myself from receiving the gifts of everyday normal life.

 

This has been a shift that I have been practicing of late.

 

Receiving the Gifts of Everyday Ordinary Life.

Essentially, extracting the fruit of the moment.

 

Though I have been practicing this process, I’d say at this stage that this entire process or concept is largely a Realization that I have still to actualize and Live and Express for real within my life, though I have began this process and have began settling down more in day to day life.

 

So lately I have been practicing Focusing on What is HERE in the moment to moment of my life. It makes a lot of sense to do this, and that instead of trying to go out and find a new life or new relationships, to actually FOCUS ON WHAT IS HERE as the Relationships, Points, and Processes that I am already engaged in and look at where I am not getting the most out of the Life that I have already created for myself.

 

And to dig into the moments more.

I see I can bee more engaged in the relationships that already are here but that I have kind of not tended to or participated in.

 

That is not to say that I shouldn’t go ahead and open up new relationships or points or processes. Its more a point of embracing what is already here to its Fullest instead of resisting it, judging it, and pushing it away.

 

So this has to do with realizing the Gifts of Everyday Life, where now I can redirect my focus to HERE and to getting the most out of each moment instead of thinking I need this great grand life or experience to have fulfillment, and to rather Extract from the Ordinary to create the Extraordinary from what is simply here.

 

For me I have had a tendency to expect the worst and to assume that I am messing everything up and that my life is falling apart because there is something not right or there is something I am doing wrong. So this is another point I see is important for me to adjust within myself and for me to rather Embrace the Successes in my life. This is something else I have been working with. I have been working on Celebrating my life more. And Honoring what I have created as my life at the moment. And practicing letting go of that paranoid anxiety that I sometimes allow to take me over to the point where I end up living in fear that everything is all wrong and will fall apart.

 

This Is also connected to Slowing Down which is the Words that I am utilizing to support in this process of stepping out of my anxious paranoia that I am somehow fucking everything up, and to rather embrace and acknowledging my Life and what I have created, allowing myself to See the Good also, instead of always just seeing and focusing on the bad.

 

So moving forward my direction will be to embrace what is here, embrace the moment, embrace the ordinary and to open up the moment, open up the ordinary and see what is here. This way I don’t have to go out and try and find some miraculous moment or over the top experience to experience some sense of fun and fulfillment within myself, but to rather work with what is already here in every moment which is actually quite cool because it takes the pressure off where I can now Look into the Ordinary and uncover the Gifts and Gems of Everyday Life and acknowledge and Explore this Potential that Everyday Life is a Treasure to Behold.

A New Dimension of SUCCESS – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 818

I recently started reading a book written about Jack Ma and the creation of Alibaba which is one of the worlds largest online marketplaces. In reading about Jack and his enterprise I came across a couple examples of Ma’s definition of Success that I found to be very grounded, practical, and livable by anyone where he really took that point of success and boiled it down into something tangible, and accessible to everyone.

What I find interesting is that I have been deliberately working with the process of Re-defining and Living Words, and here this man actually did exactly this by coming up with his personal definition of Success that he could live and apply in his world in a way that supported him.

In the book, Ma defined it as follows,

“Success lies not in how much you have accomplished, but in the fact that you have done something, experienced the process, and begun to learn something”

What I like about this definition is it emphasizes not an outcome of good or bad, success or failure, but of THE ACT, the point of taking action and actually doing something – That is the success, the fact that you got off your but and applied yourself.

For me, I have been slowly starting to develop a new body of artwork and so I really relate to this definition of success because for me the most difficult part often is just getting up and DOING SOMETHING, or motivating myself to sit down in front of my canvas and start painting. Where that very action IS the success, not the outcome, but the ACT.

So here I see for myself that to be more successful requires me to take more action. On paper it looks easy, though I do understand that applying and living this definition of success may bring up other dimensions for me to consider and work out.

Okay that’s the point I wanted to Share!

 

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential

Living the Word ‘NURTURE’ – An Artists Journey To Life – Day 817

 

Today marks one week since I began re-defining and living the word ‘Nurture’. What I have found with doing this deliberately for the past 7 days is that it has been a process in where various different dimensions of this word and application opened up during the week.

 

My starting point directive with living this word Nurture was for me, to simply stop abusing myself through participating with behaviors and making decisions that I know are not best for me. So initially I kept it very simple because I could see that even through I wasn’t ‘doing anything’ per se, but rather stopping myself from engaging with destructive habits/patterns/addictions, that in itself was for me a point of living this word Nurture, where I was simply giving myself the opportunity to Nurture the Best of Me, to Nurture my potential which I was not allowing of myself through accepting me to engage and participate with addiction behavior patterns that was creating quite a toxic inner experience within myself. So part of my decision to live this word ‘Nurture’ was to support myself to stop creating and living within a toxic inner environment and instead support myself in creating and living within a supportive, Nurturing inner environment.

 

From that initial starting point I then began later in the week looking at and practicing a more ‘active’ application where I began asking myself how I can actually physically, practically Nurture myself and the different points in my environment which is also ME as an extension of me. I also had a new art project that I had started and so I was looking at what it would mean to “Nurture” this new art project which I began doing by simply spending some time actually working on it.

 

I also began focusing on giving more direction to my environment in terms of maintaining my laundry, doing the dishes, making the bed, and just general household tasks where in moments where I wasn’t doing anything I would direct myself to move, even if it was just a little, some of these household tasks. This to me was Living the word Nurture, because I was taking action to creating a supportively functional environment for myself, like having fresh clean clothes, or a cleaner space and meanwhile sticking to my initial starting point of this word Nurture through by not engaging in that which I know actually ends up creating inner frustration, resentments, and hatred within and towards myself which ultimately does not INSPIRE me to make the most of me and my life, and so I do see the importance here of essentially giving myself this base platform of support by stopping my participation in those decisions and activities that really create a lot of inner turmoil within me.

 

Also just to mention here that around 4 or 5 of the 7 days, I would actually sit down with my notebook and go over my process with living the word Nurture in writing, where Id just kind of write out any new points I was seeing and realizations and hang-ups and things like that where writing regularly is definitely a part of me working with opening this word up for myself and developing some direction with it.

 

Last night at the end of the week my partner mentioned a New dimension that I could add to my practicing and applying Living this word ‘Nurture’. She mentioned this dimension of Honoring what I had already created, so meaning where now that I have walked this point for a week. To Living this word Nurture, would also mean to Nurture that which I had already begun birthing into existence as the dimensions of this word which I had begun living and applying the first week.

 

I think of a little chick in an egg where it starts out as just an embryo. Now, the mother doesn’t just get up and walk away after a little while but rather does the due diligence to ensure the embryo can grow into its full potential and eventually hatch from the egg and become a full grown chicken. So this dimension of the word Nurture that was mentioned last night by my partner is that point of not walking away or disregarding what I have started but rather to follow through, to support and nurture the development of the point until it is Solid and full grown.

 

This was a cool point brought up by my partner because I had in the past had the tendency to abandon points that I had begun nurturing and before they grow into something substantial within and as me and my life I just let them go and return back to ‘my old self’ or the old patterns and this case the old destructive habits that end up cultivating self hatred, resentment, and frustration. And so I am seeing here “Follow Through” can be a key here to Living and applying this word Nurture for and as myself.

 

So that is where I am currently with this word Nurture, and will continue to practicing implementing this word as a Living Application into my life so that it just doesn’t disappear like so many things I do or decide to do. I mean, I still have to do it so ultimately I will see how it goes.

 

I mean right now this word after living it for a week, feels like just an embryo just in the very beginning stages of taking shape and becoming something of substance, yet at the same time I recognize that I have actually brought forth this little creation through deliberately making the decision to live this word for this week, and so I see, that there is much I can still do to solidify and strengthen this word/point within myself and my living to support me to really form a new habit or application or way of living so to speak instead of just letting it/myself go and going back to my already pre-established patterns. So I will continue and see what unfolds.

PROSPERITY – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 816

Recently I have been looking at my career/job and finding words that I would like to have be embodied and expressed within my career/job that I see are not yet existing in ways that I would like. In doing this I came up with a list of 5 words with one of them being  ‘Prosperity’. These words more emerged organically out of the writing I was doing.

Now my approach with looking at and learning how to bring these words through as expressions and outcomes into my career is to first look at how I can Live, embody, and express each word for and as Myself where I first look at each word on a more personal level.

So in essence these words don’t necessarily have to do only with my job and for me it makes sense that anything to do with my job/career is actually simply a reflection of ME and so if I would like certain words to be a part of my career/job, then I must actually make them a part of ME on a fundamental level of who I am and how I live moment to moment.

So one of the words I was looking at was the word ‘Prosperity’ and so what does it mean for me to LIVE this word for myself in my moment to moment living.

In writing about this word Prosperity I began to pull through some context for myself about what this word really means, what I would like it to mean, and also how I can LIVE this word for myself in relation to creating my utmost potential for myself and others and one of the dimensions I am working with is that ‘Prosperity’ does not exist in isolation, so meaning, prosperity does not mean I take from someone else to get more. And I think this method of prosperity Is actually more common in this world than it really should be where some are prosperous at the expense of others, but then to me this isn’t really ‘Prosperity’ because connected to it is actually suffering. So then how does one live prosperity where ALL are benefited from the outcome.

So I have been taking this point of prosperity down to an individual level and looking at how I can live and express this word from moment to moment and what that would look like.

How would I live this word while doing the dishes, or communicating with someone, or interacting with my cats, or writing this blog.

Prosperity within the context of this blog is where the BENEFITS would be achieved not just for me but for others as well. So this ‘mutual receiving of benefits’ was just one dimension of this word ‘Prosperity’ that I have been looking at and taking into my living actions and asking myself how each moment or activity can be a prosperous one.

I wonder if my overall presence in terms of how I am existing on a mental/presence/mind state is a prosperous one? Or do I supress myself and judge myself and allow behaviors and patterns that really just cycle over and over in the same point and not really creating anything new, different, fresh. So here I can see looking at prosperity on this level could be a cool way to re-define this word for myself.

I am now reminded of the word ‘Fallow” where in agriculture this is where fields are allowed to rest for a season and are not planted so that they can regenerate. And I see how with how my mind works, I tend to often only focus on the same or similar things and similar thoughts throughout my day which I see would then always just lead to the same outcome and essentially exhausting the ‘fruit’ if you will that comes from ones ideas and expressions. So here in terms of Living the word ‘Prosperity’ I understand here a necessity to not just live out the same patterns and thoughts daily, but to direct oneself to include NEW ways of thinking/being/expressing so to open up new fruits to be born and give the old exhausted trees of thought and action a rest for a while.

 

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential