Living A Balanced Day – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 823

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Today on my drive to work I began opening up the word “weak”.

I have noticed now for a couple weeks or even longer that there has been this background noise experience within myself as a form of weakness and tiredness when it comes to my general experience of myself.

One dimension of this that I am seeing here is that I was spreading myself thin and not living a more balanced life when it comes to the activities in my life.

For the past few months I have been pushing 2 different expressions when it comes to my art. This past weekend this process came to a head where I essentially decided to rather than continue focusing so much on both, to now just more focus on one.

An interesting side affect of this is this blog. Because normally when I would get home from my day doing one art expression, I would begin preparing for and going into the other art expression.

And so most of my focus was on doing art and I wouldn’t really get to doing much of anything else like for instance taking an evening and sitting down with myself and writing a blog.

What I am seeing is that within pursuing two art expressions, that I created within myself a form of anxiety as a ‘chasing experience’ in that I was feeling like I wasn’t moving both points effectively and so often felt incomplete at the end of each day.

Its interesting through as I am only seeing this now because I have noticed yesterday and today when I got home from a day of work in the carving studio that I experience myself as much more calm where before I would just feel the urgency to jump into my second art expression and so ended up creating a rushed and anxious experience within myself and as I am writing this I am also seeing how this would contribute to that tired/weak experience I referenced at the beginning of this blog.

This brings up an interesting question about balance and how to create balance in ones life through the activities one does each day

Because yes, I have been productive in recent months while I was pushing to do both art expressions, however was this ‘productivity’ actually a compromise of self and creating more havoc in myself and life than contributing to it.

So here I can redefine the word ‘Productivity’ to include a kind of balance of activities where I give to myself all that I need, and not just try and push one point all the time as much as possible while neglecting other aspects of myself and my life because ultimately one ends up tired, stressed, and anxious like I found myself.

To be productive may not mean just doing one thing all the time full-out as much as possible, but rather should include Balance, like eating a balanced meal where the body requires a balanced intake of different foods to get the sustenance it requires.

So I am now looking at Productivity in this way to include balance (Like a balanced meal) and to create that point of completion where one actually feels fulfilled and complete, instead of how I was feeling at the end of each day which was “I never did enough” and so felt stressed and anxious and actually incomplete.

So here ‘Productivity’ is not about getting a lot done but getting the right stuff done in a balanced way to cultivate that point of completion each day. Excess is not productive because then you do more of one thing and compromise other aspects of yourself and life.

So, is your day balanced and complete like a complete meal leading to fulfilment.

Or are you just all potatoes.

Links I follow

https://eqafe.com/ – Understanding Everything

https://www.patreon.com/earthhaven/overview – One World Solution

https://www.patreon.com/mindbodyinnerverse/overview – Understanding Self

 

 

 

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Opening the Gifts of Everyday Life – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 821

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Opening Up A Moment.

What does it mean to open up a moment and get the most out of a moment?

This is the question and process I will be exploring in this blog to assist and support myself to substantiate a recent realization that came through with regards to how I can practice and refine my Living Expression so I can get the most out of myself, my life and what is here.

 

And this a Key – ‘What is HERE’

 

I find that I have the tendency to overlook what is right here as my life and to also Judge what is here where I judge my life and how it is, and what I have, my environment, my job, my relationships, my hobbies, my routines, ect. I judge everything seeing and thinking it is just not good enough, that ‘there is nothing there’ that it is boring, that its wrong, or broken, or not enough, and then I go through each day and it becomes a struggle in a way.

 

When I do this, I start looking ‘out there’ I start looking at and desiring something else, something more, something better.

 

My question is however…

 

When I do this, when I judge myself and my life in this way, am I preventing myself from seeing what is really here and so preventing myself from receiving the gifts of everyday normal life.

 

This has been a shift that I have been practicing of late.

 

Receiving the Gifts of Everyday Ordinary Life.

Essentially, extracting the fruit of the moment.

 

Though I have been practicing this process, I’d say at this stage that this entire process or concept is largely a Realization that I have still to actualize and Live and Express for real within my life, though I have began this process and have began settling down more in day to day life.

 

So lately I have been practicing Focusing on What is HERE in the moment to moment of my life. It makes a lot of sense to do this, and that instead of trying to go out and find a new life or new relationships, to actually FOCUS ON WHAT IS HERE as the Relationships, Points, and Processes that I am already engaged in and look at where I am not getting the most out of the Life that I have already created for myself.

 

And to dig into the moments more.

I see I can bee more engaged in the relationships that already are here but that I have kind of not tended to or participated in.

 

That is not to say that I shouldn’t go ahead and open up new relationships or points or processes. Its more a point of embracing what is already here to its Fullest instead of resisting it, judging it, and pushing it away.

 

So this has to do with realizing the Gifts of Everyday Life, where now I can redirect my focus to HERE and to getting the most out of each moment instead of thinking I need this great grand life or experience to have fulfillment, and to rather Extract from the Ordinary to create the Extraordinary from what is simply here.

 

For me I have had a tendency to expect the worst and to assume that I am messing everything up and that my life is falling apart because there is something not right or there is something I am doing wrong. So this is another point I see is important for me to adjust within myself and for me to rather Embrace the Successes in my life. This is something else I have been working with. I have been working on Celebrating my life more. And Honoring what I have created as my life at the moment. And practicing letting go of that paranoid anxiety that I sometimes allow to take me over to the point where I end up living in fear that everything is all wrong and will fall apart.

 

This Is also connected to Slowing Down which is the Words that I am utilizing to support in this process of stepping out of my anxious paranoia that I am somehow fucking everything up, and to rather embrace and acknowledging my Life and what I have created, allowing myself to See the Good also, instead of always just seeing and focusing on the bad.

 

So moving forward my direction will be to embrace what is here, embrace the moment, embrace the ordinary and to open up the moment, open up the ordinary and see what is here. This way I don’t have to go out and try and find some miraculous moment or over the top experience to experience some sense of fun and fulfillment within myself, but to rather work with what is already here in every moment which is actually quite cool because it takes the pressure off where I can now Look into the Ordinary and uncover the Gifts and Gems of Everyday Life and acknowledge and Explore this Potential that Everyday Life is a Treasure to Behold.

A New Dimension of SUCCESS – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 818

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I recently started reading a book written about Jack Ma and the creation of Alibaba which is one of the worlds largest online marketplaces. In reading about Jack and his enterprise I came across a couple examples of Ma’s definition of Success that I found to be very grounded, practical, and livable by anyone where he really took that point of success and boiled it down into something tangible, and accessible to everyone.

What I find interesting is that I have been deliberately working with the process of Re-defining and Living Words, and here this man actually did exactly this by coming up with his personal definition of Success that he could live and apply in his world in a way that supported him.

In the book, Ma defined it as follows,

“Success lies not in how much you have accomplished, but in the fact that you have done something, experienced the process, and begun to learn something”

What I like about this definition is it emphasizes not an outcome of good or bad, success or failure, but of THE ACT, the point of taking action and actually doing something – That is the success, the fact that you got off your but and applied yourself.

For me, I have been slowly starting to develop a new body of artwork and so I really relate to this definition of success because for me the most difficult part often is just getting up and DOING SOMETHING, or motivating myself to sit down in front of my canvas and start painting. Where that very action IS the success, not the outcome, but the ACT.

So here I see for myself that to be more successful requires me to take more action. On paper it looks easy, though I do understand that applying and living this definition of success may bring up other dimensions for me to consider and work out.

Okay that’s the point I wanted to Share!

 

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential

Living the Word ‘NURTURE’ – An Artists Journey To Life – Day 817

 

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Today marks one week since I began re-defining and living the word ‘Nurture’. What I have found with doing this deliberately for the past 7 days is that it has been a process in where various different dimensions of this word and application opened up during the week.

 

My starting point directive with living this word Nurture was for me, to simply stop abusing myself through participating with behaviors and making decisions that I know are not best for me. So initially I kept it very simple because I could see that even through I wasn’t ‘doing anything’ per se, but rather stopping myself from engaging with destructive habits/patterns/addictions, that in itself was for me a point of living this word Nurture, where I was simply giving myself the opportunity to Nurture the Best of Me, to Nurture my potential which I was not allowing of myself through accepting me to engage and participate with addiction behavior patterns that was creating quite a toxic inner experience within myself. So part of my decision to live this word ‘Nurture’ was to support myself to stop creating and living within a toxic inner environment and instead support myself in creating and living within a supportive, Nurturing inner environment.

 

From that initial starting point I then began later in the week looking at and practicing a more ‘active’ application where I began asking myself how I can actually physically, practically Nurture myself and the different points in my environment which is also ME as an extension of me. I also had a new art project that I had started and so I was looking at what it would mean to “Nurture” this new art project which I began doing by simply spending some time actually working on it.

 

I also began focusing on giving more direction to my environment in terms of maintaining my laundry, doing the dishes, making the bed, and just general household tasks where in moments where I wasn’t doing anything I would direct myself to move, even if it was just a little, some of these household tasks. This to me was Living the word Nurture, because I was taking action to creating a supportively functional environment for myself, like having fresh clean clothes, or a cleaner space and meanwhile sticking to my initial starting point of this word Nurture through by not engaging in that which I know actually ends up creating inner frustration, resentments, and hatred within and towards myself which ultimately does not INSPIRE me to make the most of me and my life, and so I do see the importance here of essentially giving myself this base platform of support by stopping my participation in those decisions and activities that really create a lot of inner turmoil within me.

 

Also just to mention here that around 4 or 5 of the 7 days, I would actually sit down with my notebook and go over my process with living the word Nurture in writing, where Id just kind of write out any new points I was seeing and realizations and hang-ups and things like that where writing regularly is definitely a part of me working with opening this word up for myself and developing some direction with it.

 

Last night at the end of the week my partner mentioned a New dimension that I could add to my practicing and applying Living this word ‘Nurture’. She mentioned this dimension of Honoring what I had already created, so meaning where now that I have walked this point for a week. To Living this word Nurture, would also mean to Nurture that which I had already begun birthing into existence as the dimensions of this word which I had begun living and applying the first week.

 

I think of a little chick in an egg where it starts out as just an embryo. Now, the mother doesn’t just get up and walk away after a little while but rather does the due diligence to ensure the embryo can grow into its full potential and eventually hatch from the egg and become a full grown chicken. So this dimension of the word Nurture that was mentioned last night by my partner is that point of not walking away or disregarding what I have started but rather to follow through, to support and nurture the development of the point until it is Solid and full grown.

 

This was a cool point brought up by my partner because I had in the past had the tendency to abandon points that I had begun nurturing and before they grow into something substantial within and as me and my life I just let them go and return back to ‘my old self’ or the old patterns and this case the old destructive habits that end up cultivating self hatred, resentment, and frustration. And so I am seeing here “Follow Through” can be a key here to Living and applying this word Nurture for and as myself.

 

So that is where I am currently with this word Nurture, and will continue to practicing implementing this word as a Living Application into my life so that it just doesn’t disappear like so many things I do or decide to do. I mean, I still have to do it so ultimately I will see how it goes.

 

I mean right now this word after living it for a week, feels like just an embryo just in the very beginning stages of taking shape and becoming something of substance, yet at the same time I recognize that I have actually brought forth this little creation through deliberately making the decision to live this word for this week, and so I see, that there is much I can still do to solidify and strengthen this word/point within myself and my living to support me to really form a new habit or application or way of living so to speak instead of just letting it/myself go and going back to my already pre-established patterns. So I will continue and see what unfolds.

PROSPERITY – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 816

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Recently I have been looking at my career/job and finding words that I would like to have be embodied and expressed within my career/job that I see are not yet existing in ways that I would like. In doing this I came up with a list of 5 words with one of them being  ‘Prosperity’. These words more emerged organically out of the writing I was doing.

Now my approach with looking at and learning how to bring these words through as expressions and outcomes into my career is to first look at how I can Live, embody, and express each word for and as Myself where I first look at each word on a more personal level.

So in essence these words don’t necessarily have to do only with my job and for me it makes sense that anything to do with my job/career is actually simply a reflection of ME and so if I would like certain words to be a part of my career/job, then I must actually make them a part of ME on a fundamental level of who I am and how I live moment to moment.

So one of the words I was looking at was the word ‘Prosperity’ and so what does it mean for me to LIVE this word for myself in my moment to moment living.

In writing about this word Prosperity I began to pull through some context for myself about what this word really means, what I would like it to mean, and also how I can LIVE this word for myself in relation to creating my utmost potential for myself and others and one of the dimensions I am working with is that ‘Prosperity’ does not exist in isolation, so meaning, prosperity does not mean I take from someone else to get more. And I think this method of prosperity Is actually more common in this world than it really should be where some are prosperous at the expense of others, but then to me this isn’t really ‘Prosperity’ because connected to it is actually suffering. So then how does one live prosperity where ALL are benefited from the outcome.

So I have been taking this point of prosperity down to an individual level and looking at how I can live and express this word from moment to moment and what that would look like.

How would I live this word while doing the dishes, or communicating with someone, or interacting with my cats, or writing this blog.

Prosperity within the context of this blog is where the BENEFITS would be achieved not just for me but for others as well. So this ‘mutual receiving of benefits’ was just one dimension of this word ‘Prosperity’ that I have been looking at and taking into my living actions and asking myself how each moment or activity can be a prosperous one.

I wonder if my overall presence in terms of how I am existing on a mental/presence/mind state is a prosperous one? Or do I supress myself and judge myself and allow behaviors and patterns that really just cycle over and over in the same point and not really creating anything new, different, fresh. So here I can see looking at prosperity on this level could be a cool way to re-define this word for myself.

I am now reminded of the word ‘Fallow” where in agriculture this is where fields are allowed to rest for a season and are not planted so that they can regenerate. And I see how with how my mind works, I tend to often only focus on the same or similar things and similar thoughts throughout my day which I see would then always just lead to the same outcome and essentially exhausting the ‘fruit’ if you will that comes from ones ideas and expressions. So here in terms of Living the word ‘Prosperity’ I understand here a necessity to not just live out the same patterns and thoughts daily, but to direct oneself to include NEW ways of thinking/being/expressing so to open up new fruits to be born and give the old exhausted trees of thought and action a rest for a while.

 

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential

A More Engaging REST – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 812

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In my last blog, I began looking into the words ‘Rest’ and ‘Relaxation’ and seeing how for me I had accepted a definition of these words that isn’t as supportive as it could be where I often find myself trying to rest by doing as little as possible, which I actually find more just ends up with me going into experiences of laziness, apathy, idleness and even depression, So in seeing this, I realized for myself that I can Re-define the word ‘Rest’ for myself so that it is more supportive and in this I see how ‘Resting’ doesn’t have to mean ‘doing as little as possible’ at all.

So essentially I see here that within my new definition and application of the word ‘Rest’ that I would like this application to be more engaging and active.

So today as I was out and about on my Sunday, I allowed myself to ‘be out’ and simply saw this as part of my process of ‘resting’ which I saw more as an opportunity to simply change my focus away from work for instance which I focus on all week, and turn my attention to something else.

So today I actually went on a small hike and so approached this whole event as a point of ‘Rest’, essentially taking my mind and myself out of my normal routine and doing something different.

So this is essentially in line how I am going to explore re-defining and living the word Rest for myself when I am off of work, and see how my overall physical and mental experience is. Where ‘Rest’ is no more ‘doing as little as possible’ which then becomes a kind of polar opposite to work, but rather I would like to explore living the word ‘Rest’ more within an engaging context where I am more active, participatory and engaged. I can see that already just in letting go of the pre-conceived idea I had accepted within myself about what the word ‘Rest’ meant, that I was able to enjoy my experience more today instead constantly thinking to myself that “I have to get home and rest” or that “this is not restful” because to me I had accepted ‘rest’ to be where ‘I did very little’. So yes, overall going to begin testing out this New Way of Resting where its doesn’t mean ‘doing as little as possible’ but where it is rather something more engaging, active, and supportive for me physically and mentally.

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential

Determining My Outcomes Through Daily Living – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 806

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Today is the beginning of the work week for me. I felt a bit depressed this morning when I woke up. The experience seemed to be ‘out of  nowhere’ though last night I was discussing a few points with my partner about some stress that I was experiencing in relation some aspects of the responsibilities associated with work. So this morning as I got ready to go to work, I related this seemingly out-of-nowhere experience of depression to these work related points I was discussing the night before.

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become overwhelmed with stress in relation to directing and walking the obligations and responsibilities in relation to my career.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to still feel the need and desire to control my reality and force it to move the way that I want it to when working with other people, expecting other people to move how I want them to because its convenient for me where I am not considering that people are entire universes unto themselves where their lives are vast and comprised of various relationships and so I cannot expect them to move according to my wishes and desires just because it would suit me best, and so here I commit myself to remember to consider that People are complex and have much going on within themselves and within their lives and to within this, be more patient and understanding.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my life not working or my business failing where this fear drives me to try to control people and push things to move how I desire to have them move, where I become much less flexible and flowing, And so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try an achieve success from a starting point of Fear of Failure. And so here I commit myself to walk and live the word Patience where within living the word Patience I stop accepting and allowing myself to exist within my default setting of “expecting to fail” and so thus I commit myself to stop expecting to fail and then having a fear emerge of fearing to fail which then drives me into control and desire, as well as being more rigid and inflexible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not consider that I could potentially still achieve success or desired outcomes through being more easy going, patient, and flexible. Wouldn’t that be awesome considering this is often how I find things move in physical reality where things move slowly as there is multiple points coming  together.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not consider that perhaps success can be achieved through living  and walking the word Patience where I allow things to take time and not go into that point of trying to control or force them, and while I wait, I can give my time and attention to projects and tasks that are HERE and that I can DIRECT , Here and Now in the moment instead of feeling stuck like I am waiting for things to move so I can move.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear writing the word success, and so thus fear the word success.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear even mentioning the word success, because to me I have accepted that this will only mean failure. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear Failure where I see it as a bad thing, and so creating ‘failure’ to be this ‘big thing’ and something to fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to function within my life based on a pre-programmed setting of an expectations of failure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that failure is permanent and so fear failing because I perceive this as the end, instead of considering that I can simply continue on and continue testing new ways and solutions, and that failure is not this big thing that I have to fear constantly day in an day out.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that failure is forever.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that failure means the end of the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in constant fear of a massive failure taking place, where its like I am constantly in fear of everything just collapsing in a major way. (What a tiring way to live, phew)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing opportunities

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define others and different opportunities as the determinants of my success or failure instead of realizing  that I am responsible for the outcome of myself and my life meaning, that if the success or failure of my business is based on luck or what other people do or don’t do, then its bound to fail anyways. Rather I commit myself to remember and to stand within the starting point that I determine the different OUTCOMES of my business,  meaning where I commit myself to become the SOURCE of my ability to grow, expand, develop myself and my business where this is based on MY actions and what I do or do not do, and so within this GROUND my approach to walking my current path with life and business where I LIVE SUCCESS, not through ‘where I end up’ but through Who I am and How I am LIVING and DIRECTING MYSELF Daily, and to simply walk day by day, pushing and directing myself to Live to my utmost potential where this becomes the foundation of my Living and my Self and Business Development.

I commit myself to take the attention that I have placed ‘out there’ onto what others are doing and how that affects my me, my life and business, and bring this attention back to ME, and to focus on what I am doing and what I can do and live daily to assist and support myself to LIVE MY UTMOST POTENTIAL every day, and so support myself to Give myself back my Self Directive Principle and Responsibility through by focusing on Who I am and What I can do daily to live to my utmost potential and expand, develop, refine, push, express, support myself and what I am doing within my life.

 

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential