Creating Stability in Myself and My Own Life First – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 810

k2-mount-godwin-austen-chogori-savage-mountain

Today an unexpected guest stopped by the carving studio as I was working. It was a fellow artist who used to carve with us a couple years ago. He was driving through the area on his way to do some travelling.

Seeing him caused me to reflect upon my life and my life style and how I have approached my life and situation the past four years where since getting the opportunity to create sculptures for a gallery here where I live and to sell my work, that has been my primary focus for the past four years, with very little deviation in terms of my direction and pursuit of creating and building this point up into something stable and substantial.

For me, this opportunity to create art is significant and I have been really quite single minded in developing it into its full potential which I do not see I have reached by any means as of yet.

For me, early on in my life I was a bit more transient where now my focus is more on getting grounded, stable, and establishing some roots.

I suppose this ‘mentality’ or direction with my life was birthed out of my participation with walking the Desteni Process where I have been introduced to many principles which I have taken to heart and began implementing in my life.

As I have continued to walk this process with Desteni, I have more started viewing my life as an opportunity to take responsibility for myself, my life and others as well.

This approach I can see stems from the principle of “Doing What is Best For ALL” where I have began to align my life to this principle, where to begin Doing What is Best For ALL, I see this point of first being able to Support Myself and to Learn how to create Stability within my own life and so this is what I have been developing and creating and practicing.

So for me, creating myself and my life into a point of Stability is something I see as valuable for myself and others.

This doesn’t mean that I am not able to express and live and explore different aspects and ways of life. But I do see that this approach of Taking Responsibility For Myself and My life and Doing what is best for all,  lead me to focus on creating and establishing the point I am walking now with my art business into something that is stable and can support me to live in this world and be a functioning member of society. Its like, ‘step 1’.

So when my friend showed up today and caused me to reflect on my own life path. These are some of the points that came up in terms of looking at why I decided to stick to this sculpture point where this has been my primary focus for the last four years.

And it really is still a day to day process where I just walk day by day and do what is here and direct what is here and move myself within this Principle of Doing What is Best for ALL, which as I mentioned I see means firstly that I must Direct my own life and create a certain stability within Myself and my own Life.

 

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential

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From FIGHTING to EMBRACING our WORLD SYSTEM (A Decade with Desteni)- An Artists Journey To Life: Day 794

Satisfaction and Success

In this blog I am going to share one of the major points that has impacted and shaped my life that has come from and within Walking the Desteni Process.

I first found Desteni 10 years ago when the website first came online, so I have been walking the Desteni Process for 10 years.

One of the most impactful points that walking this process has had on me has to do with EMBRACING THE SYSTEM instead of fighting or rebelling against it.

What does this mean?

Before Desteni I very much saw money as the root of all evil and I hated everything to do with Responsibility when it came to functioning and living in the world system. I believed that this was all just a waste of my time and I told myself that I don’t want to spend my life filling out paper work. I never paid my taxes on time, my student loans were overdue with numerous late payments, I had never had a 9 to 5 type job, only seasonal work and odd jobs. I just didn’t care about ‘that stuff’ I overall resisted the system and how it functioned and I essentially was trying to escape, run and hide from it. I wanted to be an Artist and I wanted to be free from what I perceived to be the restrictions of our corporate world that in my eyes was sucking the life and creativity out of the human being.

As a result of my approach and beliefs, I was living on the fringes of this world, making just enough money to get by.

Then I began walking my process with Desteni and Everything Changed.

I was introduced to a new way of looking at the world and through the years I have continued to expand my understanding of how things work and how to approach this world in a way that is more Practical and Supportive. Not just for me, but for ALL!

And so now instead of rebelling against, ignoring and fighting against the world system, I rather EMBRACE it! Get to know it, understand it, become effective within it and from this vantage point, I can have a VOICE, and I can work to change it. This also becomes more possible when ones life is STABLE and FUNCTIONAL within this world, instead of where one is totally on the fringes struggling for survival in which case it makes it much more difficult to have any kind of voice what so ever.

What I have come to understand through walking the Desteni Process these last 10 years is that This World, THIS SYSTEM, IS ME! Everything that is HERE is LIFE, and so it makes no sense to JUDGE any part of it.  The outer world System is simply a reflection of the inner world system, and so to judge it is to judge a part of myself, and so rather my approach is to embrace it, get to know it, understand it, correct it where it requires correction. Working WITH the System is the Same as working WITH Myself.

I have come to realize that when I face personal challenges in my life, that I make things more difficult when I react, when I fight, when I JUDGE Myself instead of moving into a point of SELF FORGIVENESS and rather than fighting against myself through judging myself, I rather EMBRACE myself, Embrace the parts of myself that are not yet what I would like them to be. Don’t fight with them, Embrace them, practice understanding them in detail so that I can learn how to change. And so the same goes for the world system. Yes it may not be ideal, but if we shun it, and dismiss it, its like we are counting ourselves out of it and so have absolutely no power what so ever.

And so a shift occurred within me and within my life.

I made a decision within myself which was to EMBRACE this world system Completely and Absolutely. Embrace the laws, rules, regulations, codes ect and work WITH them in a way to support me in my life so that I am as a starting point, EMPOWERED within this system of codes and rules.

Embracing the system does not mean accepting it how it is and just ‘making due’ Nope. It means Embracing it so that I can function effectively within it and then from within this starting point work to change it. If I completely disengage, then I have no power to do anything about all the injustices that are cause through it. Not to mention I completely disempower Myself in my practical daily life to live to support myself and those around me which is also necessary and valuable.

For the past 4 years I have been creating a Fine Art Business. I have had to learn how to file and pay all the different levels of taxes. I have a business number. I pay all my bills on time, I am in essence, getting to know and understand this whole process of what it means to integrate into this system as an individual and as a business. It has been quite a process because I never considered this my strong suit and still to this day it is something that I still have to push myself to develop and learn to do.

I just finished filing my taxes recently and learning about a completely new layer of taxes – Sounds exciting doesn’t it! Lol.

To me, learning to EMBRACE the System through the process that I have walked with Desteni has had a massive impact on my life.

It has been a complete shift for me from Fighting This World to Embracing This World and how it is currently functioning and then to become Effective within this.

I am definitely still learning and developing this point for myself but I am on my way. And if I had not been introduced to this way of looking at and living in this world through walking the Desteni Process, who knows where I’d be right now. I was so determined to tell this world to Fuck Off. I was in total conflict with it, Not realizing how it was and is essentially just an extension or externalization of Myself and so really nothing to judge or fight with at all.

This process of realizing that everything that is HERE is ME, including the world system, has also supported me in embracing the differences of others as well which has in turn allowed me to develop relationships in my personal and business life that perhaps would have been very difficult to forge if I was thinking that I didn’t want to work with someone because they had different beliefs as me.

Now I am much more willing to engage with People of ALL different beliefs and simply work to find common ground and support each other from here.

So I am truly grateful for the process I have walked so far with Desteni and I look forward to continuing to walk this process to see what we can create in this world and see what kind of impact all of us walking the desteni process can have on this world to support ourselves and all here to reach our utmost potentials.

If you are interested in getting to know more about this process please visit the links below to learn more

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential

Simply Sharing – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 788

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Here I am going to SHARE a bit of my Life Process with you today.

First thing is, I slept in in the morning. When my alarm went off I allowed the resistance of getting up to overwhelm me and so I made the decision to just sleep until I am not tired anymore. I make my own hours for work, so it wasn’t like I was ‘late’ where someone else is counting on me. So in a way there was a kind of “backdoor” there for me justifying why I could and so will sleep in. Yesterday was a bit tough for me and so the sleeping in this morning was kind of residual point from yesterday. Once I got up and got to work, I was satisfied and it was nice to be at work and just able to focus on that. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I ended up cutting my day short. I had a bit of reluctance to do so, seeing as how I was already late, but I decided practically speaking its just how things were working out.

The amount of hours I work each week is quite a point for me where it is something I think about a lot. And something that can at times create a bit of turmoil within myself if I am not living up to the standards I have set for myself. So for instance, today it was important for me to not stress out about the fact that I was late getting up because that just creates unnecessary stress after the fact. Something I have been working on over this last year, where I practice “letting go” and not stressing myself out over work and money.

Once I got home I decided to work on my painting for a while. This was also a way I could “get a full days work in” The painting is evolving interestingly. There is definitely still a “feeling out process” taking place and I notice that that tends to create a resistance where its like “If I am not quite sure what or how I am going to paint the next part” I am more resistant to “getting down to work” but I have defined that experience quite clearly for myself throughout the years so can recognize that experience and not allow it to direct me.

Later in the evening I decided to turn the internet OFF on my phone so that I would stop checking it. My Starting Point behind this was so that for the rest of the evening I could practice simply “Being HERE” where I could Substantiate My Presence more instead of allowing the phone point to distract me every 5 minutes where I am checking my notifications. So instead, in those moments-in-between, instead of sinking into my phone, I just sat there, in my reality, in the physical, and just focused on Myself , My Presence and my immediate reality. Overall Supportive.

Then I ate chicken alfedo pasta for dinner that my partner made. Then I did the dishes and made us coffees.

That brings me to now where I am here writing this blog based on the starting point of simply SHARING MYSELF.

Okay thats all for tonight – Movie Time! – We are watching “Silence”

REGAIN My Presence – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 787

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So this last week I have been opening up this process of moving out of Consciousness/The Mind, and into and as Self Presence/The Physical Body/My utmost potential.

And my experience within this has been tumultuous. Though this tumultuous experience is not actually new but is in fact a more common or usual experience for me within this process of “Standing Up” and moving myself out of my mind and into myself, into my presence, where I am Here, Directing Myself and My Reality to its/my utmost potential.

Recently there was an emphasis put on this process as something to be more aware of and so I was more than usual focusing on this and focusing on changing my usual pattern of when I am faced with moments where I can either BE HERE and Face the Moment in Self Awareness, Presence and Direct Myself, or to rather just go into the mind, go into feelings, go into distraction, where for me I do tend to still allow myself to stay in the mind or chose the mind rather than stepping up and standing up and taking initiative and Directing and Creating myself and my reality in a way that is more aligned with my utmost potential and more Substantial.

So even with an emphasis and a more deliberate movement to practice my Stand, I found still that my usual pattern remained persistent so to speak. Where I would still sew-saw back and forth in the usual manner instead of Establishing a more Steadfast Stand within learning to Stand, Face, and Direct My Reality and Myself in every moment.

This has to do with all the things that come up in normal day to day living such as household duties, relationship duties, work, business, and career related duties ect.

I have noticed a pattern within me where I will Stand and Face this Reality…..for a while, but then I will “run and hide”.

So for me what I have been practicing is being more Steadfast in my Stand with the intention and ultimate fulfilment of being able to Stand and Direct myself in each moment without the need or desire to distract myself or return back into my mind, into thoughts, into fantasies, into emotions, into experiences, into pictures,  but rather Stand and Face this Real Reality that I live in.

At this point the last couple days I have been utilizing writing to pull myself out of my mind/consciousness and back into reality, back to my Presence, back to Myself. Where the writing becomes a tool to understand why I am allowing the same pattern of “hiding from myself/my reality” to persist, where I will make attempts to change but not fully pulling that change through and so I have for the last couple days specifically been utilizing writing as a tool to strengthen and enhance my Stand so to speak, as well as to GROUND and Stabilize myself and prevent myself from slipping further into the mind/mind experiences where for me I have often allowed myself to just sink into the mind where here what I am practicing is stopping this allowance of instead of just allowing myself to “sink deeper” into the mind once I have already allowed myself to participate in it, to rather support myself through my Writings and Self Movement to REGAIN My Presence and thus again Decide to Stand and Direct myself in Self Awareness. Because I find that when I “FALL” in my stand that I tend to beat myself up and feel shitty and then just feel a form of hopelessness where my Question to myself is that “Can I Pull Myself Out of this experience quicker” rather than just waiting and waiting until the experience kind of just runs its course and then after that I decide to Get back up and start directing myself again.

Its not ideal – meaning, If I would just be standing and HERE and Present at all times then I would not have to bother with the whole process of pulling myself out of experiences, and out of distractions and out of the mind and finding my Stability and Presence again but for me, because there is still a see-saw happening within this process, I am here testing ways to essentially Stabilize that See-Saw, and pull myself out of “mind experiences” quicker than  usual to get myself back to a point of Stability and Self Direction, and so also support myself to spend more Time being Stable then being in the mind, and so integrating more Consistency in my Stand

Okay so that is just some dimensions of the process of learning to change and create myself  I have been walking the past little while.

 

SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime

Change of Plans – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 770

autumn-birch

Today I was heading home and my car started to break down and I had to turn around and change my plans. Initially I was set on going home as I have been away for the week and I had scheduled myself to get back home and get back to my normal routine.

At first there was some denial within me, telling myself that “I will make it” and just wanting to power through and just hope for the best which is somewhat characteristic of how I do things sometimes where I will rather just do it and hope I make it, instead of making sure I make it, and then removing that hope point out of the equation.

Eventually I decided that the best thing is to postpone my departure and get my car fixed. It was really the obvious thing to do, though at first I resisted it and didn’t want to change my plans.

Yesterday I was writing about the point of “Stillness” and how that was a word I wanted to bring back with me when I went home. Interestingly, today that word was no where to be found. I had pretty much just let the word slip out of my awareness completely until this evening.

Although another point that I was writing about yesterday came through a bit stronger today and that was the point of how I can use writing to stabilized myself. Essentially, being ‘Still” is also a kind of stability, and practically speaking, writing is a way I can root myself into the ground to support that stability and stillness of Self.

I was looking at this yesterday because I have noticed that I have become more uprooted recently and this has coincided with overall less Consistent Self-Writing in my life. Particularly here in my blog.

So getting back to earlier today…

After I made the decision to change my plans and stay a few more days, I felt quite relaxed, relieved and actually satisfied. It also does give me a window of time where I can relax some more which is definitely something I am embracing. Its funny, because if I even look at how I structured my vacation, it really was for a small period of time, which wasn’t actually enough to really step out of my routine where with the few added days now, It does give me a window where I can just support myself to regroup and calm down a bit and potentially just slow myself down. I say potentially, because its not a given. I find it is directly related to me and the decisions I make not just in my outside reality, but also particularly in my inside reality, where my inner stability is based on what I accept and allow myself to participate in within myself, what thoughts, emotions, patterns, ect. So I have a small window now here where I am presented with an opportunity to support myself but that I will still in fact have to do this for myself.

In terms of the car. I am getting my clutch replaced….lol…..The problem was I really had to step on the gas and the engine would get really loud but the car would hardly move. Sometimes it feels like that in reality where I feel like I am busy busy all day long but things just seem to move soooo slowly. So what is the Key to Self Change or actually Creating Change in ones World for Real? The word that is jumping out at me as I ask that question is the word CONSISTENCY. That is the second time this word has come up in this blog so perhaps I will dedicate some more writing time to this word specifically in my next blogs.

 

SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime

Creating Flow – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 761

flow

As I was writing yesterday an interesting word kept coming up that was a newer word I hadn’t noticed as one normally coming through in my writing. The word was “Stalled”. Part of my regular writing practice consists of describing myself, my experience, and my life and then within this description I will identify key words that jump out and then take those words and open them up further.

So the word that came through yesterday was the word “Stalled”

From here, I looked at a word that I could Live that would be the correction of the word “Stalled” or that will simply support me in creating myself in a way that I see is more satisfying and fulfilling than how things currently are within existing within and as the word “Stalled”

So the new word I came up with as something to begin exploring, expressing, and Living in my life as a point of Self Correction to the word “Stalled” is the word “FLOW”

 

Flow

One aspect I can see where I can support myself to live this word Flow is through by not allowing myself to become stalled in by where I allow myself to give in to resistance and then my movements become hampered by this resistance instead of me simply moving and directing myself in my life in what needs to be done. I can see that one way I do not live the word flow is basically through by now flowing from one activity to the next within my day but rather that I “Stall” instead of taking on things more continuously. I wonder where else in my life I am stalling.

So basically here its important to look at all dimensions of my life and see where and how I am existing within this word “stalled” and to thus introduce the word Flow as a corrective behavior in these areas.

Work/career

Relationship

Health

Money

Personal Process

Self Development

Diet

Sex

Friends

Communication

Sleep

Responsibilities and obligations

Facing fears

Cleaning

Animal care

Cooking

Reading

Self forgiveness

Leisure

Savings

Art

Painting

Networking

Self Creation

My Passion

Family

Time

 

Alright from here I am going to take this point into some Self Forgiveness and so also continue exploring how to introduce this word into myself and life so that I can support myself to become un-stalled which is not the greatest experience and so become and Live the word FLOW.

My Inner Correction Facility – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 760

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The other evening my partner and I watched a documentary about the US prison system. Now one exercise that I often will do when looking at different parts of our world system like in this case the prison system is I will look at what that particular point reflects about myself and how it is that I myself exist in the same or similar ways as this kind of system. And I do this exercise based on the principle of “as within so without” this principle representing how our outer reality is actually a reflection of our inner reality and that our world system is actually an outflow and reflection of our inner natures.

So in watching this documentary what did I notice about the similarities of the prison system and myself?

Well one of the first words that comes up is the word ‘Judgement’. Because in a way this is what prison is all about. It is about judgement, and punishment, although it is called a correction facility, it is not actually acting or standing as an actual CORRECTION point, where for instance people that end up in jail are not better off once they get out but are in many cases worse off because now they are a convicted felon which makes it even more difficult to get a job in some cases.

One statistic I found is that Within five years of release, about three-quarters (76.6 percent) of released prisoners were rearrested.

So I was looking at the nature of prisons where you essentially take “Bad” Guys and lock them up as punishment.

That is actually a form of Suppression where instead of dealing with these people, supporting them, educating them, rehabilitating them, we just lock them away.

I though this was interesting because this is in a way how we deal with ourselves and those parts of ourselves that we don’t understand, or those parts of ourselves that we don’t want to look at, that we define as bad, that we judge. Or even if you look at certain emotions, like anger, often times we take these parts of ourselves, and instead of investigating and understanding, and forgiving, and correcting, we just supress them. We take them, and we lock them up inside ourselves, and instead of looking at them and sorting them out, we just lock them away, and then what ends up happening is there is an accumulation affect that takes place and more and more parts of yourself are locked up and essentially abandon and then what ends up happening is you become a mess, you become reactive, or depressed, or stressed because you have a build up of emotions, and you have memories and thoughts, and beliefs and voices in your head that you have no idea where they are coming from or how to make sense of it.

So, what is the Solution.

For me I see the responsibility I have is to stop locking up parts of myself, but rather to face those parts of myself. Just as each and every crime or criminal that exists on this earth is a mirror for us to look at ourselves and see a part of ourselves and that to recognize that its not about judgement, it is about understanding how these crimes or criminals were created, so that we can change the conditions of our world system so that these particular crimes become obsolete or these types of criminal behaviours have no environment that fosters them.

A correction facility should NOT be about judgement and punishment. And so I can begin with myself and those parts of myself that I have judged and deemed as bad or criminal And to work with all my inner criminals as thoughts, judgements, past memories, pressured emotions, so they can become rehabilitated,  truly corrected, and released. To become a contributing member of the society that is me.

I can do this through my process of Writing, Self Forgiveness, Self Introspection and Investigation and then Self Correction as the practicing and Living the new behavior, the new instructions.

And so in this way create within myself an actual REAL Self Correction Facility and thus become the change I want to see in the world.