Relationship Resistance – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 414

Human Nature, Oil on Canvas, 40x52inch, 2006 images 011

So I am going to go ahead and write about some of the points I have been facing here in relation to Resistance within the context of relationship/agreement.

In relation to the point of relationship/agreement, one of the primary points I have faced/encountered is Resistance. Oh yes, me and resistance also have a bit of a ‘history’ within the context of relationship/agreement so yes, it makes sense that this point is HERE again for me to face within myself.

So where to begin with this point. Well, what I find is that my resistance is like the ultimate deception. It is so convincing. Where the mind comes up with all these seemingly absolutely legitimate, and rational justifica…..I mean ‘reasons’, yes, ‘reasons’ because of course “I am not justifying” no no no, not me, nope, all there ‘reasons’ are perfectly reasonable for why I will ultimately give into the succulent temptations of resistance. Now I say ‘succulent temptations’ because I find when I am facing resistance that to give in to it is like essentially “getting what you want” apparently, so its soooo tempting because to just give in and “get the prize” in a way.

So anyways, I have found this to be the case recently in my life where I am facing a point of resistance and all the reasons/justifications coming up to justify my moving myself so I am no more in the face of this resistance seem to be ‘reasonable’ And really this is the one point I wanted to bring through in this blog, how the Justifications that come up when one is facing resistance is so seemingly real. Its like “it just makes perfect sense” And so this is what I am facing at the moment.

I mean I first began this journey of facing resistance when I starting walking my process with Desteni. And here I was introduced to the mind and how the mind actually function as a component of the human. Up until then I completely trusted any resistance I felt. Well, I mean to a degree. I was somewhat disciplined in some things and able to push through some resistances but in others, to me It was as if the resistance was not even there, which indicate to me that I was really just following the path of least resistance. And one of these roads that I have walked the path of least resistance is with relationships.

Also within my research and investigation into myself within my process, I have come to understand how we as human beings have accepted a very fucked up way of living as ‘normal’ and one of these facets of our ‘fucked up normal existence’ is Relationships.

When I was first introduced to Desteni and their research on the mind, I was intrigued. I was fascinated to start learning about how the mind really function and to start to understand how we has human beings do not actually have a clue how we function, yet that is apparently OK with us to the point where we haven’t even noticed how intensely unaware we are.

So in my research I was exposed to some quite fascinating stuff in relation to the actual functioning of the mind/self. For an in-depth discovery process within this one is able to walk DIP Pro, and if you are just getting started with this research one can walk DIP Lite.

Now, I was introduced to all this stuff about the mind, and thoughts and emotions and feelings and yes, Resistance among other things.

But long story Short I am here Still facing this point of resistance in my life, particularly atm within the context of agreement/relationship and so yes, the point I wanted to mention tonight which is what I have noticed recently about the point of resistance in relation to this point of agreement/relationship is how fucking cunning it is. Where I find within myself I will come up with the most elaborate and clever ‘reasons’ as excuses and justifications to not have to face this resistance and walk through it. And find out what is on the other side. I don’t know what is on the other side because till now I normally just give in. So I will go to here tonight.


To be Continued.


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Self Sustainable Fulfillment – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 301

 Here I am continuing with the Self Corrective Statements from the Self Forgiveness walked in relation to the point I started opening up the other day about my experience of “general disappointment”

When and as I see myself thinking about that “being successful will make my life better” I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have the tendency to blame my job for my experience of myself as if “my job is the problem” And then also going into desiring ‘success’ some future point that I have constructed within my mind like a point/place where I will have ‘arrived’ and thus be successful and I see that I also go into this pictured desire of success and in this separating myself from the point of fulfillment where this point of fulfillment becomes completely separated from myself HERE as I have placed conditions on this from the perspective of judging and blaming my job for my experience of “lack of fulfillment  where I simply blame my job for this while simultaneously going into my imagination and imagining pictures and scenes of me being happy and successful and so have created the condition that My current life is the problem and my future life as seen in my imagination is the solution and so thus in a way have left myself NOWHERE and really separated myself from my Directive Will to actually LIVE Self Fulfillment within my life. So,
I commit myself to assist and support myself to take responsibility for my own Fulfillment wihtin my life realizing that I am completely responsible for this point in my life and that thus it is within my Hands to Direct/Walk/Live, and so I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to blame my job or current situation for my “lack of fulfillment” as I see/realize/understand that I am the one to is responsible for ME and who I have become as the experience of me and that I tend to blame/project my inner experience of unsettledness or emptiness or frustration outwards onto/into my environment where I will end up for instance blaming my Job as being the reason for my experience of myself instead of Realizing that it is NOT my job, but ME, and so I commit myself to assist and support myself to within realizing that I am Responsible for my experience to direct myself within self change exploring how to move myself from out of “LACK” of Fulfillment to Self Fulfillment and Satisfaction where here I explore how I am able to simply move myself in each moment in ways that assist and support me to CHANGE my Living Behaviors, Patterns, Acceptances that has created this experience within me of emptiness and lack of fulfillment.
When and as I see myself participating with the thought that “working harder is how I will correct my life” I stop and I breathe. I realize that I at times take this statement out of context and in a way manipulate myself with such a statement because I realize that this statement is not entirely true, though have not clarified for myself nor aligned this statement to be one of support instead of self manipulation. I realize that Discipline must be a part of my life in terms of developing/walking/Living this aspect of myself effectively daily to assist and support myself in my process. I see that there is most often always room for me in my life to become more specific, refined and Self Willed in terms of willing myself to move/direct me in and as the physical.
I see also that I have in the past avoided working/going to work because I did not want to go, then found some way to justify it to make it look like or seem legitimate  when really within this context I did not want to ‘work hard
I commit myself to stop listening to my back-chat about working hard which ends up with me coming up with some clever excuse in my back-chat to justify why I am not going to work, and so I commit myself to when it comes to “working hard” to push for Self Honesty and Critical Common Sense reasoning based in what would actually be the best to walk within the context of LIVING SELF RESPONSIBILITY  and thus then doing that, and within this, I Commit myself to Align myself to and making SELF RESPONSIBILITY the “determining factor” within my life as My Starting Point of how I live, walk, direct myself and participate within my life.


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The Social-LIES I tell myself – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 198


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to rather stay home than to “go out” where I will have to meet new people and talk to them, thus making a decision based in fear, fear of getting out my comfort zone, where in making such a decision implying that fear is the directive principle, of me and also within this coming up with pleasant excuses to justify why I am allowing myself to be directed by a “fear experience” where this “fear experience” actually exist within me like a possession state where I only stick to doing that that “I am comfortable with” coming up with various excuses to justify not ever doing anything outside of that which/where my mind is safe, because it can predict what is going to happen in the environment, and thus can remain in control, thus I can remain in my mind possession state of being controlled/directed/influenced by fear, and within this accepting and allowing me to limit what I do within my life so to appease the fear of within and as me that act up when ever something comes up that is out of my “comfort bubble”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my energetic experiences, even in cases where these energetic experiences are indicating an aversion to do something, and thus that I should not do something that if I look at that ‘something’ in common sense actually see that it would support me to assist and support myself within my practical physical living and expression of me that is NOT me simply staying in my comfort zone and spending time in my mind / thought patterns / and basically within the various dimensions of the mind, that only support my own self mind possession state of self hypnosis
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tell myself that “I am not ready to socialize” where I speak such back-chat in my mind as my mind as a way to manipulate myself to not step out of my comfort zone where I have already exactly what I need/require as the MIND as the necessary mind stimulation points already carefully crafted and delivered on a silver platter as the environment that I have formed as my immediate environment where I spend most of my time that I have formed in a way to support me within and as my mind, Instead of having Directed myself to always be stepping out of my comfort zone as the practical support application of getting myself out of the mind and into Being HERE in and as the physical and thus assisting and supporting myself to break my pre-programmed self hypnosis state that I have designed / programmed as the various dimensions as thoughts, feelings, emotions, energies, fears, inner movements, likes, dislikes, inner dialog, through out my life within living/existing in and as and designing my mind in Unawareness where I had basically no understanding how I created/was creating and designing me at all, as I was not aware of the Self Creation Process and how I as life am in fact creating myself and what is Here as this world, and so now do not want to “step out of” that pre-programmed comfort zone in my within and without and support me to in fact become self directive instead of living in an automatic way where I have within this given my directive principle away to my mind as the programming and systems of and as the mind.

I commit myself to investigate the judgements/perceptions that I have of myself that come up as the excuses/reasons/justifications for why “I am not ready to socialize” and thus deciding to NOT socialize based on these excuses, thus committing myself to investigate such judgements in writing due to seeing how much I actually continue to validate such judgements as “good reasons” for why I always never socialize with people, and within this also applying self forgiveness, and self corrective application to assist and support myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by these such judgements within myself that I have decided are or Real Value and Credit. And so
I commit myself to in fact start working with such “perceptions/judgements” of self with writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application because if anything these Self Judgements I have created and formed about myself are becoming “stronger” so to speak and I am seeing how I will accept and allow myself to base decisions on such judgements, even within knowing that to face myself in situations where these Self Judgements would be Challenged like for instance going out more and communicating with others, I to face such situations would in fact be beneficial for me to “GET REAL” instead of existing in a mental reality that has become far disconnected/removed from practical physical reality, that can be understood, in looking at that such mental reality judgements insist that “I should rather just trust these judgements I have of me” that by all accounts in trusting such judgements only fuel these Self Judgements even more that indicate that I am “Less Than” that I am “Unworthy” instead of assisting and supporting myself to actually realize that I am Equal and One to all beings from the perspective that not one is more or less than another but that ALL life is Equal.
I see/realize/understand also that I am in some instances, deliberately sabotaging myself by “repeating mantras of self judgement to myself like “ but I am less than others” speaking such statements within myself as the process of deliberately placing myself in situations, points, where it is less supportive, doing this over and over again, thus obviously making it more difficult for me to Develop those skills that I judge about myself that I would have actually had an opportunity to practice/realize of and as me if I were to just “DO IT” instead of deliberately repeating mantra’s of self judgements about myself that I knew was not true but would impose on myself as some kind of addiction to self pity, and so
I commit myself to deliberately place myself in situations that I may not find comfortable and that I see/experience resistance to as the mind resisting such points, doing this as a point to practically assist and support myself to Align my Living to a more practical physical equal and one living, instead of just existing in my own internal reality that is quite limited and in fact Self Destructive to Me Doing what is in fact actually best and most supportive for me in my Living.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to change my self destructive behaviour of and as living/existing in the mind and thus assist and support myself to Align my living to a more practical physical expression of me here in and as the moment where I direct myself to break out of my programming and develop my Living in a way that is IN FACT BEST FOR ME AND BEST FOR ALL.

Desteni Has just launched Desteni I Process Lite. This is a completely free, online course with buddy support. The course material has been designed from the ground up to accommodate complete beginners to the Desteni material. And if you’ve been with Desteni for years, there’s a lot you can learn through revisiting the basics in a format you haven’t experienced yet.

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