A New Dimension of SUCCESS – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 818

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I recently started reading a book written about Jack Ma and the creation of Alibaba which is one of the worlds largest online marketplaces. In reading about Jack and his enterprise I came across a couple examples of Ma’s definition of Success that I found to be very grounded, practical, and livable by anyone where he really took that point of success and boiled it down into something tangible, and accessible to everyone.

What I find interesting is that I have been deliberately working with the process of Re-defining and Living Words, and here this man actually did exactly this by coming up with his personal definition of Success that he could live and apply in his world in a way that supported him.

In the book, Ma defined it as follows,

“Success lies not in how much you have accomplished, but in the fact that you have done something, experienced the process, and begun to learn something”

What I like about this definition is it emphasizes not an outcome of good or bad, success or failure, but of THE ACT, the point of taking action and actually doing something – That is the success, the fact that you got off your but and applied yourself.

For me, I have been slowly starting to develop a new body of artwork and so I really relate to this definition of success because for me the most difficult part often is just getting up and DOING SOMETHING, or motivating myself to sit down in front of my canvas and start painting. Where that very action IS the success, not the outcome, but the ACT.

So here I see for myself that to be more successful requires me to take more action. On paper it looks easy, though I do understand that applying and living this definition of success may bring up other dimensions for me to consider and work out.

Okay that’s the point I wanted to Share!

 

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A More Engaging REST – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 812

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In my last blog, I began looking into the words ‘Rest’ and ‘Relaxation’ and seeing how for me I had accepted a definition of these words that isn’t as supportive as it could be where I often find myself trying to rest by doing as little as possible, which I actually find more just ends up with me going into experiences of laziness, apathy, idleness and even depression, So in seeing this, I realized for myself that I can Re-define the word ‘Rest’ for myself so that it is more supportive and in this I see how ‘Resting’ doesn’t have to mean ‘doing as little as possible’ at all.

So essentially I see here that within my new definition and application of the word ‘Rest’ that I would like this application to be more engaging and active.

So today as I was out and about on my Sunday, I allowed myself to ‘be out’ and simply saw this as part of my process of ‘resting’ which I saw more as an opportunity to simply change my focus away from work for instance which I focus on all week, and turn my attention to something else.

So today I actually went on a small hike and so approached this whole event as a point of ‘Rest’, essentially taking my mind and myself out of my normal routine and doing something different.

So this is essentially in line how I am going to explore re-defining and living the word Rest for myself when I am off of work, and see how my overall physical and mental experience is. Where ‘Rest’ is no more ‘doing as little as possible’ which then becomes a kind of polar opposite to work, but rather I would like to explore living the word ‘Rest’ more within an engaging context where I am more active, participatory and engaged. I can see that already just in letting go of the pre-conceived idea I had accepted within myself about what the word ‘Rest’ meant, that I was able to enjoy my experience more today instead constantly thinking to myself that “I have to get home and rest” or that “this is not restful” because to me I had accepted ‘rest’ to be where ‘I did very little’. So yes, overall going to begin testing out this New Way of Resting where its doesn’t mean ‘doing as little as possible’ but where it is rather something more engaging, active, and supportive for me physically and mentally.

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Staying the Course to Completion – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 793

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Today my overall presence of myself was “Okay” Today was my ‘Monday’ as the first day of the work week and I split my time between carving and painting. I had a busy weekend with some responsibilities to take care of and I did direct those responsibilities and so it did “lift some weight off my shoulders”

Sometimes I have noticed when facing certain responsibilities that I will kind of build everything up into a kind of pressure bubble, and then afterwards its like the bubble pops and I go into the opposite polarity experience, so if things are busy, then I will go into a lull of sorts and I find for this weekend in facing a ‘busy weekend’ that I wanted to practice just walking through the points without polarizing the whole thing which for me often leads to unsupportive habits/patterns. So what Id like to work on is actually walking through points, sorting them out, directing them, processing them, and being Constant within this. And within this Breathing and just continuing to DIRECT the point and all the dimensions involved until its DIRECTED AND CLEAR. Sometimes I will get half way through points and crash. Or sometimes I will get half way through a day, or a week, and then crash.

So this application and process of being more ‘even’ if something that I at times struggle with. Especially with “busy days” when I have ‘more than usual’ responsibilities. So in the past I have lived out this polarity point where things become pressurized and I just try to get through it to the otherside where then I go into extreme relaxation mode, which I see actually isn’t even enjoyable and is more just an energy playout.

So the correction for this point is to focus rather on just taking it one day at a time and moving myself to embrace the tasks, events, and responsibilities of my day rather than fight with them. So within this, I can see I can support myself by not “looking at the other side” which I often do where I will project and imagine into the future when “I will be free” and have “spare time” and then I will end up focusing on that instead of just walking day by day and moment by moment and utilizing my time effectively and seeing tasks, projects, and responsibilities through into completion.

I often look at how I can take on more in my reality and have struggled with this. I often desire free-time where I can relax and just enjoy myself and there are times where I try and seek out free time but I can see how this is more of me just wanting to escape my reality and my responsibilities.

So in my last blog – https://anartistsjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2017/02/27/prying-into-my-priorities-an-artists-journey-to-life-day-792/ I wrote about living the word ‘prioritizing’.

This what I am writing about today applies to this word ‘prioritizing’ as well because here I am looking at ways and creating ways to Face and Direct my Responsibilities of my life more FULLY and DIRECTIVE through into Completion,   so Here I am I reminding myself also again of the commitment I made to Live this word “Prioritizing” where not only am I creating a more structured order of what needs to be done, but the KEY is I am actually doing it!

When I end up in a polarizing experience of being really busy and then going into extreme relax mode, I just Stop Everything, So here I see what Id like to develop and create is a way to just be more Consistent and Directive and ACTIVE within my day because that “extreme relaxation” is really not a supportive experience and also not actually relaxing either. So I do have to practice being “Active” and Engaged more fully with my day where I am Here, Clear, and Present through an ENTIRE day instead of sneaking off into or indulging in my mind or some experience. Can I make it through an entire Month without crashing? How about a week? “How about a day? So this point of consistency is really the word for todays blog as a way to apply myself instead of going into “extreme relax mode” or that point of where I don’t walk my responsibilities or my day or week through into completion but just only go half way and then give up.

Correction Words To Live

Prioritizing     –    Even   –    Engaging    –    Embracing    –    Constant   – Completion    – Patience     –     Pace

 

Okay so I have pulled out a few words in this blog but the ones that ring the truest for tonight is the words CONSTANT, COMPLETION, as well as the word PATIENCE as words I can Develop in my Living to support me in developing my effectiveness at being Directive each day and walking all the points in my life through into completion instead of just giving up half way  and retreating into my mind or experiences or comfort zones. Patience and Constancy.

Okay going to leave it here for tonight.

 

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The Resistance of “I just don’t really feel like doing it” – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 782

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Resistance

Today after getting home from work I settled in on the couch to just relax a bit before I got into directing some other points I had planned to get to in the evening.

As I sat there on the couch I started feeling a bit more heavy and lethargic and tired and had the usual “well now I don’t really feel like doing much” experience come up within me.

This has been a specific ‘Experience’ I have been accepting and allowing to get the best of me lately and actually for quite a while really. I can actually trace this point back over a year in terms of the nature in how it is existing within me and my life at the moment.

I have started a couple new paintings at home as something that I can do later on the evenings a point of Self Development instead of just essentially wasting my time on the computer. But within this, I am still faced with Resistance as that initial experience of “not really feeling like it” which I see is or has been one of the main points in which I’d allow myself to give into the mind and the reasons and excuses to not Direct, Move, and Express Myself, and LIVE in a more supportive, substantial way.

So it is this specific resistance experience that I am “calling out” in this blog and putting a name to as a specific point for me to be aware of and support myself to walk through in moments when it comes up so I can support myself to Get More Out of Myself and Expand Myself and Live to a Greater Potential.

I noticed that once I got up off the couch and did the dishes and got things ready to paint, that I kind of shook myself out of that lethargic, tiredness experience, and I also noticed that after I had finished with my painting session that I experienced myself as much more alert within myself which if I were to go off my “mind logic”, the same mind that earlier was telling myself that “I don’t really feel like it” then you’d assume that I would be more tired after working more. But I did notice I experienced myself as more alert actually which to me was cool feedback that my Expression was more Supportive for Myself, than just sinking into the couch and vegging out.

Another dimension I am noticing when it comes to moving into processes or expressions of creativity or action is that sometimes it might take a bit of pushing. Like a car that you have to turn over a few times before it starts, and then you can drive away. I noticed this even with this blog tonight, that I had to push myself to “get over” the Blank Page that was staring me in the face where at first I actually didn’t have anything to write about, so it took a bit of pushing and prodding myself to start opening something up and then getting into a flow.

I have also noticed with my paintings that It is very easy to allow myself to accept different judgements about the painting as a justification to not work on it, like thinking “I don’t have a good enough idea” and then so I do nothing.

So this is another dimension I am seeing as a point to be aware of as I walk this process of moving from Simulation to Stimulation meaning where I move from how I would just sit on the couch and entertain myself and basically Simulate all kinds of activity in my mind through watching tv series ect, but that I wouldn’t really STIMULATE myself through actual Physical Self Movement within my Reality.

Okay so just opening up a few dimensions I am seeing within this point of me Walking the Process of Moving From Self Simulation to Self Creation and Self Expression where I am Living/Moving/Stimulating myself in a more Physical, Self Supportive Developmental way.

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Realizing What it Means Live With Purpose and Passion – An Artist Journey To Life: Day 779

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For all of my life I have had a Purpose. But what I am starting to realize about myself is that although I have had ‘A’ Purpose, I have not had Purpose, meaning my purpose was always something outside of myself that I could dedicate myself too. When I was young I dedicated myself to athletics, when I got older and still now today I dedicated myself to my art, but what I am realizing is that having ‘a point’ to dedicate oneself too does not mean one has Purpose. Let me explain.

I have been living with my partner now for over and year and we have been together in our relationship/agreement for around 3 years. One topic often comes up between us is the difference between ourselves, particularly related to the point of “Purpose” or “Having a Purpose” or more specifically, how in my life, I have always had “a point” with my art, where she never really had that “one thing” that she did where instead she just kind of did many different things.

From a really young age I began doing art and found I really liked doing art, and so I continued doing this throughout my life. I went to art school, and I decided I wanted to do art as a living. It wasn’t like I ended up in my 30’s or even 20’s not knowing what I wanted to do or not yet having found something I enjoyed doing and was satisfied to make my Purpose in Life so to speak, with me I always had Art for this.

But with my Partner, and also so many others in this world, they are the opposite side of the coin, with my partner she never had that, I always wondered what that would be like if I didn’t have my art to focus on and dedicate myself to, as something to develop and refine. I always thought my life would be boring with out it, I thought that my partner must get bored “not having a point”

But over the past couple months an interesting realization has emerged within me in observing myself in my life and observing my partner in her life.

With myself, what I have noticed is that yes, even though I had or have A Purpose as that point of Art to dedicate myself to, I found that I was really struggling to find Passion within it. It more just became something I did, and within myself there was no real passion or drive or Purpose within me in relation to how I was walking this point of Art in my life.

I would come home from work and just go sit on the couch. I didn’t want to get off the couch, it was comfortable. I became more enthralled in watching hockey and analyzing hockey statistics, than I could be enthralled with my own Purpose in doing art. I was more excited about the lives of people I watched on tv series and didn’t really have excitement about my own life. Doing art became such a labor, and man I tried, I tried to get myself enthused to do it. Enthused to get up each morning and live this purpose that I have been dedicated to as a child, and A part of me really wanted to be enthralled, excited, motivated, inspired, but I just couldn’t develop it within myself. I ended up in an experience of not wanting to get out of bed in the morning and this was going on for a while, where I noticed I dreaded getting up in the mornings, and I couldn’t wait for weekends when I could just sleep and not have to worry about getting up. And then when it was time to get up, I would do it and then just lounge around and kind of just entertain and distract myself through the day until it was time for bed again, and I would never really do much art or really do anything outside of the basic expression I have developed to sustain me financially. I was quite conflicted because here I am, and having this point of Art as a Purpose  and apparent Passion of mine to explore and develop within myself and my life where some people don’t even have a point at all, but I just couldn’t get motived to do it! What I am seeing is that I mis-interpreted the point of purpose, thinking that it had something to do with having this one singular long-time point of art that I have had and done throughout my life, but that I am now seeing is not really what it means to have a purpose or passion for life.

Now for the last few months I couldn’t help but notice my partners expression and I noticed that she started developing this pattern of getting up in the mornings quite early. Even on days off she would be up early. I thought this was quite cool. At the same time she had also started moving herself to develop some discipline and consistency in other areas and parts of her life that she saw she wanted to do to support herself and develop herself. Again I thought this was cool.

After a while of observing her moving herself in these applications, this point came up within me something along the lines like: “ Boy for someone like me who is suppose to “have a point” or “Have a Purpose” compared to someone like my partner who “doesn’t really have a point” She actually seems more like the one who is living her life with Passion and Purpose”

Now this really struck me. Because in observing her I saw a Dimension that I did not really grasp before about what it means to Live with Purpose.

My Realization is that Purpose has nothing to do with ‘What You Do’ and everything to do with YOU and How you LIVE PURPOSE AS YOURSELF where Purpose and Passion is something you Embody and Develop from Within, not matter what you do or where you are in your Life, it simply begins with a decision within yourself to Live and Develop Passion and Purpose as yourself in your Living.

For some time now I have equated finding purpose and passion to my art and how I develop and move myself in that point. But then I also see here how in doing that I am leaving out a large portion of my life when I am not doing art.

So in observing my partner recently I really starting seeing this dimension of what It means to Live Purpose and Passion. Essentially I am realizing that Purpose is NOT conditional. And that it must come from YOU. Meaning for instance if I want to be Motivated to Wake up each morning with Passion and Purpose, than I am going to have to do that for myself by Waking Up each morning and getting my ass out of bed. Why?  Because og Deliberately developing that point FOR MYSELF of Waking up with Purpose and Passion in the morning like I have been wanting.

Also in looking at Purpose and Passion in this way of it being IN and AS Self, I started to then see that if I actually Lived with Purpose and Passion and Direction than this would translate into ALL things and ALL parts of my life. So I have to start Living Purpose and Passion within Myself First in relation to Who I am and how I live in each moment, then naturally it would translate into my art expression also.

So now I am in the process and will walk this process for myself of realizing that Having Purpose and Passion begins within ME and is to be Developed within and as myself in each moment And in a way It has nothing to do with my art, though I see I can extend it into my art application but fundamentally the essence of it must start with and exist within ME and how I am Living in Each Moment and Each Breath.

Reacting Emotionally to Work Decisions – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 775

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Today was my first day back at work after taking some time off. I was somewhat tentative my first day back, moving into the day slowly and just taking my time moving into things again. So, I am not yet in the ‘full-swing’ of things. My observations about today was that I did or am wondering why I was apprehensive in terms of getting things going again after my time off and why I didn’t just dive in and get things moving with more force, certainty and directivness, but instead was more feeling things out.

I can see that there is some slight reactions within me in relation how I approached today. Before my break, I was pushing myself to work longer hours and was more just overall at a point of wanting to push things.

Overall I would prefer to have a more relaxed application with work, where I didn’t feel so strained or rushed which is how things came to eventually materialize before I took a break. So as I move back into my work application again one thing I would like to investigate, and explore is my relationship with time and money as well as feeling rushed or strained at work and basically investigating what I can do support myself to have a more balanced and stable experience when it comes to work. I am satisfied with how things are at the moment in terms of what I have to work with to support myself to continue to explore, refine, specify, correct, and create my “working-Life” relationship. Though ultimately it is simply my LIFE overall and ‘working’ is just an aspect of that.

Physically my back was quite sore after work today. Daaaaannng. Like quite sore indeed. My Job is very much a physical job and my physical well-being is important to the application and sustenance of my job so any time I have physical ailments It does have the potential to bring up some reactions such as fears and such.

So today, going to work after some time off and then having some nice back pain after work is definitely some FeedBACK in terms of now what to focus on tomorrow and consistently as I am taking on such physical work

I also had some Emotional Reactions coming up today in relation to some decisions I had to make regarding some direction with my job. That is one thing that, when it came up today, I noticed had been missing from my life since taking some time off. So this is definitely a KEY for me as a point to Support myself to Correct with my Job. Here I can practice making Decisions without getting emotional. It was interesting to have these specific emotional points come up again today. As I noticed them coming up, it was alike alarm bells going off where I was like “Heeeyyyyyy I haven’t had these types of thoughts in a while” and so realizing that these specific natured emotional reactions I have in relation to making particular decisions at work are quite specific to my job and indicating clearly an aspect of myself to Correct.

So this is actually quite cool because I am seeing this now as perhaps one of the more ‘important’ things that came from today where moving forward now I will support myself to Stabilize myself in relation to these specific emotional points that come up when facing particular decision points and projects related to my work.

 

SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime

Where Did My FLOW Go – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 763

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A few days ago I wrote a blog post about the word “Flow”

A primary experience or point that has been coming up a lot in my life at the moment is feeling like things are just stuck and not moving or flowing. This point has been showing in different ways, but perhaps the most prominent area of my life where I was seeing/noticing it is in relation to money.

I can see that within my life I have formed an interesting relationship with money where in many ways it became a facilitator of my experience in a way where I was actually placing it as God of my experience because I had given it power and authority to determine my experience and well-being where I haven’t really been the Source of my own experience and expression but had rather made myself here very conditional to money.

I have been aware of this for some time, but what’s interesting is that I haven’t yet actually changed the relationship. I have only insisted that I change it, but what my Reality is showing me recently is that I haven’t in fact changed this relationship and re-created it…recreated myself in a way that is more aligned with being SELF Directive, SELF Empowered and SELF Creating. Where SELF is the starting point.

Over the last 3 years I have observed myself and my experience and how it existed as a buoy rising and sinking on the tide of money flowing in and out. So as the tide of money swells, so would my experience and I would have a very specific experience, feeling good with everything, empowered, strong, confident, I would feel like I have flexibility, and things are good, and I could breathe, and relax, and enjoy myself. Though if that tide was out, and money was low, I would feel, restricted, stressed, angry, grumpy, depressed, lost, trapped, desperate, inferior, weak.

And I have been telling myself that I must change this relationship. That I must take back my power in relation to who I am and how I experience and express myself in my life and that this should not be dependent on how much money I have. But I justified why I remained chained to this relationship. I justified why It would affect me. One reason being that “money is just one of this things” “Money is a ‘BIG’ point” so its not like you can just change that relationship overnight. This may be true, but I am noticing that it has been many nights, many weeks, months and even years, and I am still existing in this relationship of dependency with money where I have given it permission to affect and influence not only my experience but also my behavior.

Now bringing the point back to FLOW.

Like I said, I have been experiencing a lack of FLOW in my life. And I have been experiencing this in many ways in relation to money. And then recently I had another unexpected expense come up and man its like I was hit with a tonne of bricks, thus indicating just how much I am still joined at the hip to money, giving it total authority and power to control, direct, and influence me.

So I am here writing this blog as a Step in taking back my power here, and so thus no more continuing to accept and allow this toxic relationship that I have formed with money, where I have basically given it the keys to me, to direct and control me at every level where I am just a slave, and have no directive principle over my experience and behavior but that this is always ultimately determined by how much money I have.

So lets look at FLOW.

I have been noticing that as my money goes out, my self movement starts to slow down. I am less expressive, and also at times get to points where I start closing up, feeling restricted, and depressed, heavy, stressed, and waiting for money to flow back in so that I can feel empowered again and start expressing and moving myself.

So essentially as the money flows out, I stop moving myself. I stop moving and flowing in my own life.

The SOLUTION Here is to, as I have mentioned, to disconnect this relationship I have formed with money and so thus Take Back my SELF RESPONSIBILITY for myself and my experience and Behavior where this does not change according how little or how much money I have and this is definitely an important aspect as well; That its not just about changing your experience when money is low. It’s also about making sure that if for example you have a lot of money coming in, that again here, nothing changes about your experience and behavior.

So the Solution will consist of a few different points.

-Writing about the point to develop more awareness around it and the dimensions within it

-Writing and or Speaking Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment Statements.

-Self Change in a moment, where I move myself into the new behavior and out of the old

-Re-Defining and so then Exploring and Practicing the Living of the word FLOW in a context of where I can Live this daily where it is NOT dependent on Money but rather an expression of Myself.

Okay so what is Practical FLOW.

I was looking at this point again today as I was stuck in this experience of…..well, being stuck. And I was seeing this aspect of the word FLOW how I can LIVE this word FLOW practically, and that it isn’t determined by for instance how much money I have, which I have accepted and allowed to determine the flow of my life and my experience and behavior.

I see that Flow can be lived practically like for instance making sure the normal tasks of your life are flowing nicely. For me I noticed that in having connected my experience to money, and so also my expression of ‘flow’ to money,  that I wasn’t LIVING Flow naturally breath by breath, directing myself and my reality as a Self Expression, consistent and the same no matter what. I see It can be as simple as doing the dishes. That is a point of Practical FLOW in my reality, instead of allowing a build-up to take place because for instance being too depressed to want to do the dishes.

Or even with my artwork. I can see here I can support myself Practically to FLOW here simply by continuing to direct and move this point as well. So today I was seeing this dimension of PRACTICAL FLOW as the flow and movement of my physical reality where I can assist and support myself to focus on this practical flow as I support myself to correct my relationship to money, no more accepting and allowing this to influence my expression, my experience, my behavior, my FLOW.

In my next blog, I will focus more on this point and open it up further through the process of Self Forgiveness and Self Corrections.