Forgetting To SEE MYSELF in my Passions – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 819

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I thought I would take a moment and sit down here to do some writing and share what I have been up to lately. I have recently started putting more time towards developing some acrylic paintings. Most or much of my focus these days goes towards developing my art business. So a big point for me that I have been walking for some time is the relationship between Art and Money. But this could also be understood as the relationship between ones passions and making money with ones passions. I am not sure how rare my situation is but I decided that I would pursue creating and selling art, essentially my passion, as how I would make my primary income and it has been an interesting journey. For the first 10 years after I graduated art school and begun pursuing my passion of creating art and turning that into my career, I never really sold much art and just found other ways to make money. My approach back then was simply to create art and frankly I never made art to sell. In fact I believed that if I was making art to sell then I would be a Sell Out and so I steered clear of that and went for a kind of purity (or so I believed) of just expressing myself and not bothering to worry about if it sold or not, though, I actually did want it to sell and I did want to make money off of it. Although during that time, even though I wasn’t really creating art with the mindset of making it to sell, I did still have external influences from the perspective of I did want other people to like what I was doing, they didn’t have to buy it, they just had to like it. But that is whole other point for a different blog.

After a time away from doing art as my primary focus I got back into it about 4 or 5 years ago and this time I ended up in a situation where I was making it and selling it and surviving off of it. Though the art I was making you could say was more geared towards a particular market or aesthetic preference that wasn’t necessarily my personal preference. And this has been quite a challenge for me to essentially take a subject or style that is not necessarily ‘my preference’ and then to find myself in it, to, Make it My Own so to speak.

I will also add here that “My Preference” is definitely something I am still getting to know and so am willing to do things that I believe are not my preference to actually investigate them deeply and see if I can connect to it on some level because honestly “my preference” I realize has been greatly influenced, directed, impulsed by my culture, parents, peers, society, ect, so I have am definitely willing to challenge “my preference” and to make actually walk that process of really understanding what it means to get to know Myself on a deep level and understand what I do really personally like and enjoy and make sure this  is not just something that someone told me I like or I thought I was supposed to like it because everyone else did. Okay back to my point…

Over time and more so lately I have begun putting more time into painting and developing this more marketable line of work. And the question I have been walking and attempting to find the balance within is, that line between creating art to sell, that is marketable, and creating art for me where I can add my personal touch and take the art in directions that is more about my personal self expression and making sure that in the end the artwork contains depth and substance, than just making something to sell.

Okay going to add some Self Forgiveness Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what other people will think about me if I create art that is marketable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not consider that one can make marketable art that still has depth, substance, and quality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be distracted or dissuaded by my fears in a way where I don’t give myself the opportunity to test the theory of creating art that is marketable but also still has ME and My personal touch on it where I can create the depth, quality, and substance that I would like to.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to develop a style that is both marketable as well as having substance, quality, and depth to it so I can be proud and happy with the work I create.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as a sell-out if I create art that is marketable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow my fears to get the best of me where I will stop before even giving myself the chance to explore various ways of creating the Depth that I would like into my art while at the same time having it be something marketable and sellable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into EGO within thinking “I am too good” to make art that sells, meaning where I essentially believe and have also judged others as “Just making art to sell” and believing that this compromises the artistic integrity within the art.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want my art to be good and fear diluting it through its relationship with money, but then not take this point BACK TO SELF and consider how HOW I LIVE and WHO I AM in my daily life within and without is for instance compromised by money or ultimately where I am actually compromising Myself and my own Quality and Substance by allowing myself to live in ways that is not best for me, but then divert my attention off of myself and just obsess about my art when the Real point here Should be about WHO I AM for real in real life because Who I am is what really matters.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear other people knowing that I am making art that is marketable because I fear they will lose respect for me and they will stop respecting the art I make.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that people think I am selling out.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what other people think about me when what other people think about me is Not who I actually am, and who I actually am is what really matters and that is something that I Live and Walk and Express day by day and I am essentially the Gatekeeper of Who I am and am Responsible for who I am and must answer to myself with regards to what I accept and allow of and as myself and so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget that Who I am and How I live moment to moment is really What Matters in this world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get caught up in the surface dimension of worrying what other people think about my art and if they think I am selling out when this is like an irrational fear that is actually removed from who I am and what I live in real physical substance day to day and moment to moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to influenced and directed by fear energy and anxiety energy in relation to what I thought or think people think about my art.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to focus too much on what my art looks like where it becomes a form of obsession where in I forget about ME and Taking Care of Myself and Working on points within myself to assist and support me to become and live to my utmost potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to obsess over my art and if other people will like it, and end up neglecting Myself and Working with myself in a process of Self Creation to become a Self that I am Satisfied and Happy with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore working on my inner reality through regular Self Writing and Self Forgiveness as a point of actually supporting myself to Correct, Change, and Transform those parts of myself that I see are not what they could be or are supporting me within my utmost potential. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget to work on these aspects of self, and just focus all of my attention outside of myself into my art, and art business.

I commit myself to LIVE HERE, and to when and as I see myself going into that dimension of obsessing about what others might think about my art, to stop and take and in breath, and within the exhale, I slow myself down and bring myself back to the moment and back to here and realize that what Really Matters is WHO I AM and that when I start worrying about what other people think about my art and how that reflects on me, I realize that here I am actually OFF POINT and so I bring myself back to THEE POINT which is ME and Self and Who I am within myself and How I am LIVING moment to moment and I commit myself to assist and support myself to place my attention HERE onto me and to assist and support myself to work on Myself and What Really Matters which is Who I am in each and every moment, So that I can stand and face myself and look myself in the Eye, and know that I am Living my Best Self and be actually truly Satisfied and Content with myself, and Love Myself.

Okay so the point that is actually coming through here, which I was thinking that this blog would be about anyways, is not so much about the relationship between ones passions and making money with ones passions, but rather when ones Passions become more important than SELF. Because I have been noticing this with myself lately where although I have been investing more time into my art which is cool, though, I have in a slight way have been neglecting the most important point which is ME and just working with myself on that Inner Deep level in a way where I am supporting ME within my Process of Personal Self Creation and Transformation and basically just working on WHO I AM in each and every breath.

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Living Words – ‘CLEAR’ – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 744

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So tonight is one of those nights where I have been wanting to write a blog, and I have been thinking about different possibilities to the point where now my going off in different directions and potentials inside myself and can’t seem to settle on something.

So, I will just begin the blog as a point of getting myself grounded and here and see what opens up.

How about something different.

Today I am living the word….mmmmm…….dang, what is it……oh yes, “Planning”. I have recently began testing out the process of Living a New Word Each Day as a point of Self Creation. And today was the word “Planning” and a couple days ago I lived the word “New” So, today I will reach back into the past and snatch this word “New” and Live this word by writing something that isn’t so typical for me to write about.

Well, how about I write about this process of Living Words.

For me this is the first time I have been more active and consistent with taking a word each day and living it.

And so far it has been interesting, sometimes frustrating, and overall, a process that I see is supportive and will continue to explore, expand and develop, because I realize that this process of Living Words is like anything else where its not perfect in the beginning and sometimes there is growing pains but that is just how things go when you are learning something new.
Basically, I pick a new word each evening, and then define for myself how I will live that word the next day. Sometimes I do this in writing, or I will discuss it with my partner,  and what I noticed is that usually there is like one clear application that I can see how to apply a word. Sometimes the application is an ‘inner’ application, like letting go of self judgment in a moment when I see it comes up, or it is an ‘outer’ application, like for instance in Living the word ‘Planning’ today, I phoned ahead and arranged to have my car picked up tomorrow morning at 8am.

What I see is that there is various dimensions and contexts in which to live words.

Tomorrow my word I am going to Live is the word ‘Clear’.

I decided on this word because being Clear is something that I would like to be, and eventually Stand within in an absolute sense. Yesterday I wasn’t clear with myself and ended up in patterns and behaviors and experiences, that I know does not represent the best of me. So the word for tomorrow will be the word  ‘Clear’. Within this I can assist and support myself to not accept and allow thoughts, backchats, internal chatter that I see is not supportive for me so will support myself to practice remaining clear and here, and not clouded up with thoughts, and inner backchat.

Within this I commit myself to support me to push myself to ‘remain with my physical body’ instead of going into rabbit hole thought patterns that only take me into the mind and into preoccupation. So being Clear, is Standing Here with the Physical Body where I am aware of myself and aware of my breath, and aware of the depths and subtleties of my physical body. If I am in my mind participating in my own inner chatter or getting caught up in emotional experiences, I will not be able to see what is going on within and as my body or my awareness. So being Clear, Clears the air so I can see. Like looking across a clear lake, you can see far into the distance, and you can hear a fish jump a mile away because all is calm and all is clear.

I can also see the word ‘Clean’ within the word Clear, and so another dimension of the word Clear is the words ‘Clean’, and ‘Cleanliness’. So to Live the word clear is also to mean, not clogging up my body with unhealthy foods or actions which inhibit or supress the body’s natural expression, but rather to keep it clear and clean. For instance sitting on the couch in couch potato mode I see does not support me to be here and clear.

So I have opened up a few dimensions of this word Clear, which I will practice Living tomorrow and see what else comes up.

Oh, I just saw one more point – Clearing my desk, or making sure my workspace is clear, that is another cool application I can direct tomorrow as well.

Okay that’s all for now.

Creating Value, Starting with SELF – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 719

Body Image

A question that occurred to me the other day is “who am I without my art”. Another question, which often comes up within me in relation to my art is ‘how do I add or create real value with it?’ I was feeling quite discouraged with this question today, and a point that has come up within me in relation to this question of value is WHO AM I within what I do?

You see, I do art, and I am often analyzing, and pouring over ways and methods and ideas to ‘add value’ to this activity and mostly I end up feeling defeated by this pursuit. And so this evening as I was looking at this again, this question came up of WHO AM I within what I do, where, that doing, is the art I make. Because what I see is that ‘what I am doing’ is irrelevant and not where the real value exists. What I am seeing in this moment is the ‘real value’ exists within me and who I am, ans what I accept and allow of and as myself each day.

I see that I have gotten away from this point of Myself being the real value I have to offer.

What I find happens with me is that I end up focusing on WHAT I AM DOING, which would be my art and my career and I forget about myself, I forget about taking care of myself and nurturing myself and strengthening myself both within and without, and I just put my attention on my art and try to make that great and I kind of push the art to the forefront while I move myself into the background which is actually what I prefer anyways because in fact if I look at why I prefer this, it is because I am not satisfied with myself and my application and so I just prefer to be in the background out of sight.

So Who am I without my art. If I strip this away, and pose the question of how do I add value I can see the answer.

I can add value by and through who I am as how I interact with this world moment to moment. Its strange because each day I get up and go out into the world and interact with my world and the people in my world and I am doing this 24/7. Yet this 24/7 interaction gets missed with regards to how and where I can actually contribute value to this existence. I become so obsessed with thinking about how I can contribute value with my art and I forget about me and I forget about the fact that I as a life form am connected physically to this reality every moment of every day and I am having an influence.

My art doesn’t go out and interact with various people a day like I do. And so ultimately I am seeing and realizing that I require a bit of an adjustment within looking at and considering ‘how to add value’ where what I see is that I can add value with who I am and how I engage and interact with my reality, and so it isn’t practical to push my art into the foreground and then for me to retreat into the background and supress my own dissatisfaction towards and with myself while focusing all my attention on my art as ‘what I do’ while dismissing and ignoring ‘who I am’ and how I am, or, am not supporting myself, and how I am experiencing myself for real.

So here I commit myself to assist and support myself get back to what I am seeing as the true source of my value which is MYSELF and how I direct and support myself day in and day out, and here I commit myself to daily strip myself bare of my art and ask myself who am I without my art, and who I am in each moment and each breath as I move and interact and engage with my reality and I commit myself to support myself to contribute value in these moments and this interaction through by first creating and supporting myself to value myself through supporting me to live in a way that I am actually satisfied with me, and then from here I see that I can start bringing this personal Satisfaction I have for myself into my daily life because my daily life is always here and I am always engaging with it 24/7. I see that my art will never be able to add value like I can, as who I am within my living daily expression. I also see that my art will always just be an extension of my own Self Value as the Satisfaction I have for myself based on how I am supporting myself where this satisfaction can never be conjured up or manufactured, it will only ever be a Direct consequence of what I accept and allow of myself in every moment as my living application which in Self Honesty, I am fully aware of whether I am supporting and nurturing myself or not.

So here is an adjustment of value where I commit myself to realize daily that real value comes from who I am and how I am supporting me in self honesty to live and express within the principle of what is best for all.

I commit myself to remember that the value I contribute is happening in every moment based on who I am within and as myself and what I accept and allow of and as myself as a life form and so here I commit myself to stand within and as this awareness and see, realize, and understand here the importance of Supporting Myself Daily into and as a point of being Satisfied with who I am, because I, Self, is the first point of Value and so I see, realize, and understand that I must first stand within and as a point of Self Value before I can share this into the world, and so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate and dismiss Self Value as an important first step in creating value within this world. And so I commit myself to creating Self Value through Supporting and Caring for myself as my Starting Point for creating Value in this world.

Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime

The Flawed Leading the Flawed – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 703

Regret

About 8 years ago I was introduced to Self Forgiveness, and ultimately the process of assisting and supporting myself  to become the best that I could be, to become and express to my utmost potential. And so I endeavored to walk this process of self perfection. One thing I have noticed about myself during this process is that I am actually quite hard on myself. Now I have herd on a number of occasions that “you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself” and I am sure those of you reading this have come across this statement and others like it as well. But what does that really mean. Is a statement like this legitimate or is it just something people say because it sounds nice. So this is what I want to open up in this blog. What does it mean to “not be hard on yourself”

Throughout my process of correcting and perfecting myself what often seems to stand out within me is actually all the points that ‘are still wrong’ all the points that I judge, all the points that I despise about myself, that I keep falling on, where I will look at all of these points and just feel like a pain in my chest area, like a sorrow within me, because I am a failure. Or at least because I feel like a failure.

I am sure that each one could agree that a purpose within each ones life could be to become stronger, to become more effective, to grow, to become an example of what it means to live. But when I look at myself and my own life, I do not see this/these qualities per-se. And as a result I feel like I have nothing to offer anybody.

But the question is. Do I have something to offer this world?

Yes, I am flawed, I am not perfect, I am still walking my process of self correction which I foresee will still require many years of refinement and application. But, is this statement that “I have nothing to offer” really valid?

I see that it isn’t. But it is difficult to push through my own self judgement towards myself and actually offer my support to this world and to others. Because I just feel like such a failure.

How many people feel and experience themselves this way and how much is this accepted stance of individuals contributing to this world remaining within a kind of Self Loathing State where happiness is more just something people pretend to be while in actuality it is something allusive that doesn’t seem to stick.

Maybe the blind should lead the blind. Which is to say, the flawed leading the flawed.

I have had allot of falls in my process of creating myself to be the best I can be. And I am still walking this process.

And I have wanted to be perfect, I have wanted to be able to say “I am cured” and to stand as that beacon of hope for others to do the same.

But that is not happening.

But within this I do see that that does not mean it’s not possible to actually support ourselves to become our utmost potential. It simply means that it will take a process, and perhaps its better than instead of all of us hiding in our corners and dark rooms trying to do it all alone because we are ashamed of our missteps, that we come together and walk together in a more open and sharing way.

Something that was pointed out to me today in conversation is that someone may have made progress in one area where someone else hasn’t and vice versa. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses and so what I see is that if we do ‘come together’ in a more open and sharing way that this could support everyone’s processes to move more effectively.

So this is a point I require to reassess about myself. This idea that “I have nothing to offer or contribute”

I can also see a desire to be awesome. A Desire to kind of swoop in as the savior who has figured it all out. Instead of walking as an EQUAL with others within the honesty that I am not perfect. But also within the honesty that I do in fact have strengths and areas where I can support others and contribute to their lives just as they can to mine by sharing their own strengths which I could learn from in areas where I see I require more stability and improvement and correction.

Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime

Self Perfection Within Decision Making – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 684

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The other day I was having a chat with someone about some points going on in my reality and some of the considerations I was looking at in relation to these points. During the chat and afterwards I noticed that there was a part of me that was wanting the other person whom I was chatting with to ‘give me an answer’ or even, to ‘make a decision for me’. This showed me that there is a part of me where I don’t like making decisions on my own, and that also, I am afraid to make some decisions on my own.

The process that I am currently walking with myself is to become an effective practically functional and expressive human being within this world and part of this is connected to the entire decision making processes that are part of ones day to day reality.

Now, this particular decision was in relation to career/job which I see as being a more prominent decision that I must make within my life where as deciding between orange or apple juice is not such a big deal. (Orange!)
So what I noticed is that I did not like the idea of making this particular decision that I was facing alone. I wanted someone else to make it for me. I do not trust myself. I have not learned to trust myself within myself in relation to making a decision like this.

So I found this was interesting to see about myself. To see that I wanted someone else to make this important life decision for me, and that I felt incapable of making it on my own.

Self Forgiveness
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am better off getting someone else whom I trust more than myself to make my tough and challenging life decisions for me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making big decisions by myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have not developed within myself an effective ability to make big decisions for myself, where instead, what I have accepted and allowed within myself in relation to facing such decisions/points in my life, is I have allowed Self Doubt and I haven’t allowed myself to face or stand up to or address this Self Doubt experience within myself in relation to big decisions in my life but that I have allowed myself to want to run and hide from this Self Doubt experience which I see is a form of fear.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to assist and support myself to face the fear I encounter when there is a big decision to be made in my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give away my directive principle to others in my life, where I look to them to make decisions for me and in this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to have assisted and supported myself to make my own decisions.

Self Commitments
I commit myself to assist and support myself to work with myself with this point and assist and support myself to become the Directive Principle of myself when it comes to facing and making big decisions and all decisions in my life.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to Remain HERE within myself when I am looking at big decisions that I must make in my life, where this ‘remaining here’ is a point of realizing that I must develop my own ability to make tough or challenging decisions for myself, and that if I do not practice making these decisions for myself, I will never learn how, and I will never develop that ability for myself and so will never actually Stand as the Directive Principle as the Creative Force of and as myself and my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that “I will not do the right thing” or that “I will not do what is actually best for me” when it comes to making ‘big’ or ‘important’ decisions in my life. And so within this belief I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid making these big decisions within my life.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to see, realize, and understand that I can assist and support myself to ‘do what is best for me’ with these bigger more important decisions, through by assisting and supporting myself to “do what is best for me’ with smaller decisions that I face every single day, and so here I see that I can support myself by practicing doing what is best for me ‘on a smaller scale’ and in this way develop and build trust within myself that I will in fact make decisions that is best and supportive for myself. Everyday I am faced with multitudes of decisions, and if I allow myself to not do what is best for me in those moments, but to indulge in bad habits or patterns, than it is likely that this trend of decision making would manifest in the larger decisions of my life as well. And so likewise, if I establish a CONSTANT pattern of making decisions in moments that is best for me than this will support me when it comes time to face some bigger decisions and so here I commit myself to assist and support myself to throughout my day in the smaller moments when I am making decisions to not take these small moments so lightly but to realize that these small moments, and how I direct myself within them is Key Opportunities for me to ESTABLISH who I am within making decisions and wether or not I do what is best for me or not, and so here I commit myself to assist and support myself to utilize these smaller moments to Establish Who I am within the context of Decision Making where I assist and support myself to become One who Always dose What is Best For Me.

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs.

Becoming The Guardian of my Galaxy – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 676

The Solution of Life

In this blog I am continuing with waking through the Principles stated in the Desteni Manifesto and here sharing my perspective and experience in relation to have been walking this process now for over 7 years. Here I am continuing with principle #3.

  1. Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa

What I have begun to realize with Self Honesty is that, no one is going to help with it. That Self Honesty could also be Self Alonesty. Because it is me who decides what I accept and allow of and as and within myself.

Ultimately it is like to become your own police man. Because only you can stop yourself from participating within the secrets of your mind. YOU either allow it or YOU don’t. So Self Honesty is like developing that point of SELF Direction in relation to your mind and your life, and the Key word here is SELF.

When I stayed on the Desteni Farm now over 4 years ago, I became quite effective within myself in relation to stopping thoughts, emotions, and feelings, and really Standing Equal and One within and without of myself where who I was on the outside was who I was on the inside. I was surrounded by a group of people who were walking this and developing this within themselves as well. So having this around supported. Oh, and so did Fear. Lol – So what I mean by this is that I see that there was an aspect of me fearing participating in certain thoughts, because I would surely be found out and I did not want to face other people knowing what kind of thoughts I was participating in so I just wouldn’t do it.

So then is that fear helping, or shame helping. More shame really. So when I left the Farm I had to face this point. I had to face this point of becoming my own police man so to speak. Because now I was not in an environment where everyone was walking this point and supporting themselves and others and I was not in an environment where, I could be found out so easily, which I see was always a point in the back of mind.  But ultimately I realize, that it’s not about ‘being found out’ and that is what Self Honesty is, you do not stop for others, you do not stop so your not ‘found out’. This I realize cannot be the motivation. You Stop for You. You actually Stop for yourself. To Support yourself.

So I left the farm and went back into the System.

In the world system everyone just walks around existing completely within their minds, thinking all sorts or things towards one another so its kind of like that principle of disappearing in a crowd where for me I aligned myself in this impersonal way where I could kind of just disappear, and I guess that is also key. Because I wasn’t really in an environment anymore where a certain level of intimacy existed, I didn’t really have to worry about someone finding out what was going on inside me for real.

So this really revealed that my Self Honesty that I was living in that environment was not yet truly my own. It was not yet truly my Self Alonesty.

So what happened is slowly I would allow myself to participate more and more in my mind again. Because I was alone, no one could see what I was doing, so I was more lenient with myself. And it took me some while, years in fact before I began to realize that “Oh shit, I am going to actually have to do this” meaning, that ‘I’ am going to have to become the one that Disciplines myself, that Stands as the Guardian within myself and no more accepting and allowing myself to participate within the various thoughts that I was.

So in terms of Self Honesty, I had to, and continue to become this for myself. My Guardian, My Guide, The one that looks out for me, and the one that Cares for me. The one that does not allow me to abuse my free choice. Because with free choice, one is also free to fuck up their life.

I am not yet perfect in this, I am still developing my Strength in terms of my Self Honesty so that I am pure in thought, word, and deed. No one is going to stand within me, with me, I must stand alone and have the courage to STOP.

The Courage to direct myself to become pure in thought, word and deed.

And I commit myself to Support myself to do this.

I commit myself to practice standing within and as Purity in thought, word and deed, within and without, no more accepting and allowing those thoughts, words, and deeds of and as myself that I see is not aligned to what is best for all.

I commit myself to practice standing Here, Pure in thought, word and deed, within and without.

SELF-Relationship – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 622

Core Foundation  (498x800)

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you see/here the word ‘Relationship’?

Sex?
Love?
An image of your partner?
2 people walking hand in hand?

I had an interesting point come up the other day in relation to this word Relationship.

I realized essentially that whenever I see/hear this word that what I normally think about or see or what normally first comes up inside me is the ‘standard definition’ of the word relationship where in our society this word has been programmed extensively within the context of where you have 2 individuals coming together to go into a relationship of sorts.

Now the interesting point that happened the other day is that the point of ‘relationship’ was brought up and the first thing which came up inside me was SELF. Actually that is not entirely true, I first started to ‘go to’ the point of where you have 2 beings together in a relationship but I immediately stopped myself and that is when I realized how extensively the word Relationship has been programmed within the context of where it is normally always related to 2 beings like a boyfriend girlfriend or someone your married to or something like that but never, or very rarely, is the MOST IMPORTANT Relationship the one that actually comes up when considering this word and that is the Relationship one has with oneself. Thee PRIMARY RELATIONSHIP so to speak which everything else stems/flows from; Ones relationship with Oneself.

So it was an interesting realization point in that moment in seeing how I have so deeply accepted the programmed definition of ‘relationship’ that we as humanity has embedded into our existence and how this definition in fact is not ALIGNED with Supporting ourselves to reach our utmost potential from the perspective of the necessity of one to have a stable and effective relationship with oneself in order to really live effectively as an individual on this earth not to mention to be able to actually have a stable supportive relationship with another. I mean, if your SELF AGREEMENT is fucked up then your agreement or relationship you have with others will just be an extension of this.

And what is fascinating here is that the main definition of the word ‘relationship’ within our world is not in fact aligned with what would be most supportive to the development and evolution of Life – and so no wonder we as humanity are engaged in perpetual self destruction, Because our priorities are ‘misaligned’ which can be seen here in our definition of the word relationship which when one speak/hear this word, the first point that should come up is the point of  SELF and who one is within and as oneself, and how one live day to day as the relationship one is existing within as oneself. Instead our attention is immediately diverted ‘out-there’ onto others, your partner, your future partner ect.

So this was a cool point for me to see and now for me to assist and support myself within re-aligning. I mean this really also show me a point of dysfunction within myself ultimately that when I would say/hear this word ‘relationship’ that Id immediately think of 2 people or my partner ect, and miss the point of Myself Here Alone as the ‘Relationship’ of utmost importance

So here a cool point of re-aligning to support myself with so that SELF, ME, HERE becomes that which first comes up when ever I see/here the word relationship.

I will continue walking this point in Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements in blogs to come.

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