Opening the Gifts of Everyday Life – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 821

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Opening Up A Moment.

What does it mean to open up a moment and get the most out of a moment?

This is the question and process I will be exploring in this blog to assist and support myself to substantiate a recent realization that came through with regards to how I can practice and refine my Living Expression so I can get the most out of myself, my life and what is here.

 

And this a Key – ‘What is HERE’

 

I find that I have the tendency to overlook what is right here as my life and to also Judge what is here where I judge my life and how it is, and what I have, my environment, my job, my relationships, my hobbies, my routines, ect. I judge everything seeing and thinking it is just not good enough, that ‘there is nothing there’ that it is boring, that its wrong, or broken, or not enough, and then I go through each day and it becomes a struggle in a way.

 

When I do this, I start looking ‘out there’ I start looking at and desiring something else, something more, something better.

 

My question is however…

 

When I do this, when I judge myself and my life in this way, am I preventing myself from seeing what is really here and so preventing myself from receiving the gifts of everyday normal life.

 

This has been a shift that I have been practicing of late.

 

Receiving the Gifts of Everyday Ordinary Life.

Essentially, extracting the fruit of the moment.

 

Though I have been practicing this process, I’d say at this stage that this entire process or concept is largely a Realization that I have still to actualize and Live and Express for real within my life, though I have began this process and have began settling down more in day to day life.

 

So lately I have been practicing Focusing on What is HERE in the moment to moment of my life. It makes a lot of sense to do this, and that instead of trying to go out and find a new life or new relationships, to actually FOCUS ON WHAT IS HERE as the Relationships, Points, and Processes that I am already engaged in and look at where I am not getting the most out of the Life that I have already created for myself.

 

And to dig into the moments more.

I see I can bee more engaged in the relationships that already are here but that I have kind of not tended to or participated in.

 

That is not to say that I shouldn’t go ahead and open up new relationships or points or processes. Its more a point of embracing what is already here to its Fullest instead of resisting it, judging it, and pushing it away.

 

So this has to do with realizing the Gifts of Everyday Life, where now I can redirect my focus to HERE and to getting the most out of each moment instead of thinking I need this great grand life or experience to have fulfillment, and to rather Extract from the Ordinary to create the Extraordinary from what is simply here.

 

For me I have had a tendency to expect the worst and to assume that I am messing everything up and that my life is falling apart because there is something not right or there is something I am doing wrong. So this is another point I see is important for me to adjust within myself and for me to rather Embrace the Successes in my life. This is something else I have been working with. I have been working on Celebrating my life more. And Honoring what I have created as my life at the moment. And practicing letting go of that paranoid anxiety that I sometimes allow to take me over to the point where I end up living in fear that everything is all wrong and will fall apart.

 

This Is also connected to Slowing Down which is the Words that I am utilizing to support in this process of stepping out of my anxious paranoia that I am somehow fucking everything up, and to rather embrace and acknowledging my Life and what I have created, allowing myself to See the Good also, instead of always just seeing and focusing on the bad.

 

So moving forward my direction will be to embrace what is here, embrace the moment, embrace the ordinary and to open up the moment, open up the ordinary and see what is here. This way I don’t have to go out and try and find some miraculous moment or over the top experience to experience some sense of fun and fulfillment within myself, but to rather work with what is already here in every moment which is actually quite cool because it takes the pressure off where I can now Look into the Ordinary and uncover the Gifts and Gems of Everyday Life and acknowledge and Explore this Potential that Everyday Life is a Treasure to Behold.

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Realizing A New Moment Requires a New Approach – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 803

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Today was quite a challenging day at work. I kept having to go back into a particular area of my sculpture I was carving and adjust the proportions to get it aligned correctly. It was challenging because usually I get the proportions where I want them after a few adjustments, but with this one it just wasn’t quite aligning the way I was wanting and had expected based on how things normally have went in the past and so I kept going back and making adjustments and each time it was getting a little better, and a little better, and then Id tell myself “Okay this is the last time, after this it should be good” and I wanted it to be better, and to be done, and I really tried to convince myself that “it was fine” but within myself, there was still this nagging point where I could see that it just wasn’t quite where I want it yet. This adjustment process gone on around 6 or 7 times the past 2 days and as I was walking this point today I was experiencing some disbelief. I couldn’t believe that it just wasn’t aligning, even after all the adjustments I made. Then finally after I was certain I made my final adjustment to get the proportion just where I wanted it, I noticed, that…….yes…….it still needed just a bit more refining…….. so at the end of the day, I made one final adjustment and yes, FINALLY I am satisfied with the proportions…Hopefully, lol.

I will see Monday when I get back to the project and can look at it after a couple days off when I am well rested and can slow things down and make sure it is exactly where I want it.

So it was an interesting process that played out today and a good reminder that no two sculptures I create are the same and that I must be able to adjust my approach each time to do what I need to do to get the structure how I want it to be, because I can also just say “aw its good enough” but then there is a point of compromise there, not taking the necessary time to align the structure and form to the best of my ability and in a way that I see I am able to do,  which is really the point with creating these sculptures, the point for me is to do my best and live to my utmost potential. So overall, I am glad I decided to push this point today and keep going back as many times as I needed to get the sculpture where I wanted it to be.

So yes, a cool reminder here that its important to walk IN THE MOMENT and do what is necessary and what is called for in the moment where you can’t rely on how things went in the past but must be PRESENT and make sure you are assessing things in Real Time and be willing to step outside of a systematic way of operating and simply direct oneself according to each moment being a NEW Moment.

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Underestimating The Moment – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 771

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I leave again tomorrow to go home. I tried leaving a couple days ago but then ran into car trouble so had to get that fixed before I return home. When I arrive home I will be heading into the winter season, both seasonally as well as business wise. My experience is that when I get home that it will be a form of a ‘beginning’ of sorts. So at the moment, I am kind of just preparing for that. What I am observing about myself is that I have connected a lot ‘negativity’ to ‘New Beginnings’ because of the past I have had with ‘new beginnings’ where ‘nothing ever changes’ and so in thinking about this ‘beginning’ now taking place where I am starting a new phase of things, a part of me is excited but there is a part of me that is also heavy, and down, and telling myself, “who cares, it’s the same ol’ thing because things aren’t going to change this time around” So my question is, How do I actually change this heaviness, and how do I actually make a difference in my life instead of living out the usual patterns that end up creating the negative relationship I have with ‘new beginnings’

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to tell myself “things never change” and to connect an energy experience of anger and frustration to this statement. And so within this allowing myself to be influenced by anger and frustration energy.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize even that these subtle energetic dimensions that I have connected to “new beginnings” is actually influencing me where I will just dismiss the heavy experience I have within me instead of investigating where it is coming from so that I can change it and change myself through understanding it and also being more aware of it so that I don’t allow it to subtly influence me in the background of myself.

I commit myself to realize that writing supports me to see more of myself and open myself up and so become more aware of myself and so thus overall supports me to Direct different parts of me that go undirected because they are unnoticed when I am writing a lot less or not as engaged in a process of Self Introspection that is very much strengthened through self writing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to already go into Self Defeat, before I even begin something because of how it went in the past, where I have accumulated so many reactions where I have reached a point of thinking “whats the point”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to think it is impossible to step out of my experience that is here in relation to starting this new phase of my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear that things will just be the same as always.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to build up this new phase, where I want and desire things to be different this time, instead of just sticking to walking day by day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to separate myself from my creative and directive power through allowing myself to project in mind and fantasize in my mind what the future will be like, instead of sticking to HERE, and Creating it HERE in the very moment and breath I stand and breathe as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to project excitement, fun, and creativity into the future, projecting this idea of how “things will be” moving forward, but in that separating myself from me Living HERE day to day which is where I can practically and physically be and become the change I want to see, through Living it here in and now, in this moment, seeing, realizing, and understanding that all and any change comes from the decisions I make in real time, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate the HERE Moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to underestimate the moment within which I Stand, where even though it might seem ordinary and even mundane or something that does not have a lot of potential, I see, realize, and understand that it is in this moment, and the decisions I live HERE in this moment in the present that shape myself and my life into the future.

I commit myself to see, realize, and understand that the moment I find myself in now is my creative moment, and where my creative, directive principle exists, and so I commit myself to remind myself to not underestimate the moments of my life that is HERE, that I often define as ordinary or mundane.

I commit myself to practice focusing myself into and as Real-Time Living, and I commit myself to practice Challenging what I have accepted and allowed myself to define as boring, and uninspiring moments. Challenging them, from the perspective of Challenging myself to acknowledge that Who I am is determined through my thoughts, words, and deeds, in each and every moment, and that if a moment is one I see and define as boring, this does not change the fact that I am still creating myself in that very moment and that my decisions, my thoughts, my words, and my deeds, are Equally as Potent in Transformational and Creative force as any other moment, and so I commit myself remind myself this and realize that there is a lot of support I can give myself even if at first I allow myself to engage with a moment through my mind and preprogrammed ways of being and engaging.

I commit myself to embrace the moment I am in, no matter what it might seem like, as I see, realize, and understand that each moment that is here is Equal in its Creative Potency. I will either creating something boring for myself or I will create something interesting, or I will create some other outcome, either way, it is my will and self movement and direction that determines the outcome where I am 100 percent responsible for who I am and what I create.

So here I am reminding myself that my actions do matter in a moment, they NEVER don’t matter. And also in relation to this, that I can stop existing in future projections of this new phase of my life, because in a way, I am already In it so I don’t have to imagine it, rather I can just Focus on Right Here and Right Now, and Focus on Who and How I am Living Day to Day and Moment to Moment, as this will determine the shape and form of this next phase of my life.

 

SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
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Using My Past Failures Against Me – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 257

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This blog is a continuation of the investigation into my Self Victimization Character which I have outlined in the following blog : Self Victimization – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 210

Here I am now continuing with the next Self Forgiveness as well as Self Commitment Statements on the next back-chat statement I have identified within and as my Self Victimization Character.

Back-Chat Statement – I am such a failure

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to group all the failures that I have perceived myself to have within my life into and as the statement “I am such a failure” then thus using this statement as a point of victimizing and dis-empowering myself, and that I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stand equal to my “failures” from the perspective of walking through each failure that I have perceived myself to have had within my life and understanding in exact detail how I have now come to classify such points as “failures” within and as myself, within this assisting and supporting myself to release any/all “negative” energy charges I have of/towards that which define as “my failures” so as to assist and support myself to correct myself within my LIVING and not continuing to Re-Live my past, and my past perceived “failures” by continuing to react to that in my life/past that I have ‘kept’ as a failure within me, instead of assisting and supporting myself to release such points through writing, self forgiveness and self correction, one by one, so until the statement “I am such a failure” no more have any clout as I have walked and stood equal to each and every perceived failure that I have defined myself to have had within my life.

I commit myself to identify each and ALL perceived failure that I include into and as the statement “I am such a failure” where I am able to utilize this statement “I am such a failure” constructively to identify where I am still holding onto reactions/judgements/regrets/emotional distress/energy/ and in essence the past and within Identifying what perceived failures I am accepting and allowing to still control me and influence me and that I am utilizing to victimize myself, to within identifying them work with them within Self Forgiveness to release them so that I can assist and support myself to actually change me and stop being directed by my past as past perceived failures, contained within and as the back-chat “I am such a failure”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to utilize the back-chat statement “I am such a failure” to create an ‘emotional experience’ within myself that I use to victimize myself where essentially I create my own emotional turmoil within me through speaking certain back-chat and bringing up all sorts of past memories and energies manifesting myself into an emotional state of turmoil, and then hiding/existing within this emotional state instead of moving directing me here in and as the physical, where I have actually developed a pattern of creating an emotional state of turmoil within myself which I do through speaking specific back-chat statements which trigger this emotional state as the components as memories, energies, pictures, events, words, definitions, feelings, emotions is contained within the back-chat statements and thus trigger and construct the particular emotional state.

I commit myself to stop using the back-chat statement “I am such a failure” to create a particular emotional state that I have become accustomed to and addicted to experiencing and participating with and thus to correct myself to assist and support myself to Live HERE in and as breath no more needing to resort to living/existing within emotional experiences but to assist and support myself with Living HERE in and as the physical and thus not participating with back-chat within my mind that I give my attention to and allow myself to utilize this back-chat to charge up emotional experiences within me.

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