Forgetting To SEE MYSELF in my Passions – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 819

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I thought I would take a moment and sit down here to do some writing and share what I have been up to lately. I have recently started putting more time towards developing some acrylic paintings. Most or much of my focus these days goes towards developing my art business. So a big point for me that I have been walking for some time is the relationship between Art and Money. But this could also be understood as the relationship between ones passions and making money with ones passions. I am not sure how rare my situation is but I decided that I would pursue creating and selling art, essentially my passion, as how I would make my primary income and it has been an interesting journey. For the first 10 years after I graduated art school and begun pursuing my passion of creating art and turning that into my career, I never really sold much art and just found other ways to make money. My approach back then was simply to create art and frankly I never made art to sell. In fact I believed that if I was making art to sell then I would be a Sell Out and so I steered clear of that and went for a kind of purity (or so I believed) of just expressing myself and not bothering to worry about if it sold or not, though, I actually did want it to sell and I did want to make money off of it. Although during that time, even though I wasn’t really creating art with the mindset of making it to sell, I did still have external influences from the perspective of I did want other people to like what I was doing, they didn’t have to buy it, they just had to like it. But that is whole other point for a different blog.

After a time away from doing art as my primary focus I got back into it about 4 or 5 years ago and this time I ended up in a situation where I was making it and selling it and surviving off of it. Though the art I was making you could say was more geared towards a particular market or aesthetic preference that wasn’t necessarily my personal preference. And this has been quite a challenge for me to essentially take a subject or style that is not necessarily ‘my preference’ and then to find myself in it, to, Make it My Own so to speak.

I will also add here that “My Preference” is definitely something I am still getting to know and so am willing to do things that I believe are not my preference to actually investigate them deeply and see if I can connect to it on some level because honestly “my preference” I realize has been greatly influenced, directed, impulsed by my culture, parents, peers, society, ect, so I have am definitely willing to challenge “my preference” and to make actually walk that process of really understanding what it means to get to know Myself on a deep level and understand what I do really personally like and enjoy and make sure this  is not just something that someone told me I like or I thought I was supposed to like it because everyone else did. Okay back to my point…

Over time and more so lately I have begun putting more time into painting and developing this more marketable line of work. And the question I have been walking and attempting to find the balance within is, that line between creating art to sell, that is marketable, and creating art for me where I can add my personal touch and take the art in directions that is more about my personal self expression and making sure that in the end the artwork contains depth and substance, than just making something to sell.

Okay going to add some Self Forgiveness Here.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what other people will think about me if I create art that is marketable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not consider that one can make marketable art that still has depth, substance, and quality.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be distracted or dissuaded by my fears in a way where I don’t give myself the opportunity to test the theory of creating art that is marketable but also still has ME and My personal touch on it where I can create the depth, quality, and substance that I would like to.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to develop a style that is both marketable as well as having substance, quality, and depth to it so I can be proud and happy with the work I create.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself as a sell-out if I create art that is marketable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to allow my fears to get the best of me where I will stop before even giving myself the chance to explore various ways of creating the Depth that I would like into my art while at the same time having it be something marketable and sellable.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into EGO within thinking “I am too good” to make art that sells, meaning where I essentially believe and have also judged others as “Just making art to sell” and believing that this compromises the artistic integrity within the art.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want my art to be good and fear diluting it through its relationship with money, but then not take this point BACK TO SELF and consider how HOW I LIVE and WHO I AM in my daily life within and without is for instance compromised by money or ultimately where I am actually compromising Myself and my own Quality and Substance by allowing myself to live in ways that is not best for me, but then divert my attention off of myself and just obsess about my art when the Real point here Should be about WHO I AM for real in real life because Who I am is what really matters.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear other people knowing that I am making art that is marketable because I fear they will lose respect for me and they will stop respecting the art I make.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that people think I am selling out.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what other people think about me when what other people think about me is Not who I actually am, and who I actually am is what really matters and that is something that I Live and Walk and Express day by day and I am essentially the Gatekeeper of Who I am and am Responsible for who I am and must answer to myself with regards to what I accept and allow of and as myself and so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget that Who I am and How I live moment to moment is really What Matters in this world

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to get caught up in the surface dimension of worrying what other people think about my art and if they think I am selling out when this is like an irrational fear that is actually removed from who I am and what I live in real physical substance day to day and moment to moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to influenced and directed by fear energy and anxiety energy in relation to what I thought or think people think about my art.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to focus too much on what my art looks like where it becomes a form of obsession where in I forget about ME and Taking Care of Myself and Working on points within myself to assist and support me to become and live to my utmost potential.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to obsess over my art and if other people will like it, and end up neglecting Myself and Working with myself in a process of Self Creation to become a Self that I am Satisfied and Happy with.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ignore working on my inner reality through regular Self Writing and Self Forgiveness as a point of actually supporting myself to Correct, Change, and Transform those parts of myself that I see are not what they could be or are supporting me within my utmost potential. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to forget to work on these aspects of self, and just focus all of my attention outside of myself into my art, and art business.

I commit myself to LIVE HERE, and to when and as I see myself going into that dimension of obsessing about what others might think about my art, to stop and take and in breath, and within the exhale, I slow myself down and bring myself back to the moment and back to here and realize that what Really Matters is WHO I AM and that when I start worrying about what other people think about my art and how that reflects on me, I realize that here I am actually OFF POINT and so I bring myself back to THEE POINT which is ME and Self and Who I am within myself and How I am LIVING moment to moment and I commit myself to assist and support myself to place my attention HERE onto me and to assist and support myself to work on Myself and What Really Matters which is Who I am in each and every moment, So that I can stand and face myself and look myself in the Eye, and know that I am Living my Best Self and be actually truly Satisfied and Content with myself, and Love Myself.

Okay so the point that is actually coming through here, which I was thinking that this blog would be about anyways, is not so much about the relationship between ones passions and making money with ones passions, but rather when ones Passions become more important than SELF. Because I have been noticing this with myself lately where although I have been investing more time into my art which is cool, though, I have in a slight way have been neglecting the most important point which is ME and just working with myself on that Inner Deep level in a way where I am supporting ME within my Process of Personal Self Creation and Transformation and basically just working on WHO I AM in each and every breath.

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Artistic Integrity in a World of Consumerism – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 591

One of the points that I have encountered within my process of making Art is in relation to money and ultimately the point of catering what I create to the buyer so to speak so that the Art becomes marketable and sellable.

I have struggled with this point from the perspective of where I have more oriented my artwork to be a more Unique Individual Expression and have been more inclined to create art as Individual Expression firstly where the point of making Art that is sellable comes only as a secondary point.

I have told myself that I am interested in making money with my art, though I have recently come to face this point again of “but am I really?” – ‘am I really interested in making art for money’.

Since becoming more aware of the context of our world system and the consumerist nature in which it exist I made a practical decision to embrace this understanding and align my art accordingly. Until this, which was around 5 or 6 years ago, I made art almost exclusively as a Individual Expression only where ‘selling the art’ was very very low on the list of priorities that was my equation in which I approached the creating of works of art. As a result I created what I see as interesting pieces of art though with very little sales.

As mentioned I eventually developed a more intimate understanding with how our world actually functions and the grasp consumerism has within the minds of individuals and so according to this I realized the necessity of – ‘if I was going to continue with art, to really consider this and orient what I am creating to this ‘consumerist mind’ so to speak.’

And so I began this process.

Along the way I tested various points and in a way fought with this point within me to want to ‘create something unique and original’ vs ‘creating something sellable. In art school to make art sellable was to commercialize ones art and then this was ‘looked down on’ – In otherwords its was more honorable to remain poor and to apparently not compromise ones artistic integrity.

However the days for creating original art or maintaining ones artistic integrity is gone if at all it was ever here. What I mean is that I realize that if I continue to simply strive for some idea I have of the perfect work of art while being aware of the context of our system and the state of our world currently, I am ultimately confirming that my Self Interest is ruling me because I realize that it is necessary at this stage to actually align oneself to the principle of doing what is best for all where for instance the pursuit of creating the perfect work of art can be put on pause until everyone on this planet first has access to the basic necessities of life where each is actually existing in a point of equality and all is taken care of -then from there going on to explore such things as actual artistic expression can really be a part of our lives

I realize that the only thing stopping me from aligning my art to being more marketable/seelable is EGO.

This point still definitely requires some Self Forgiveness to release me from this idea that I have clutched so desperately that “I must make something interesting or unique” instead of actually aligning my Art to be more Practical in terms of supporting me to afford the basic necessities of my life.

In my next blog I will continue with this point and start with the process of applying some self forgiveness to release myself from my self imposed prison as the Artist Prisonality…I mean Personality that refuses to actually let go the values and definitions that It/I have connected to making a certain kind of art so that I can in fact once and for all embrace art and making art within a practical context, taking into consideration my understanding of the current state of our world as the manifestation of Consumerism. I can see here that I have only touched on some of the points related to this point and so as mentioned I will continue opening up and exploring these points in my next blog through applying Self Self forgiveness.

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Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs.

 

I Just Want To ‘Do My Own Thing’ – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 518

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to submit to ‘y’ from the perspective of making ‘y’ an ‘authority’ within my life as if y’s ‘reasoning’ and ‘ideas’ and ‘direction’ is ‘more effective’ than my own and so I have accepted and allowed myself to in a way, submit myself to y’s will, instead of standing up within and as myself in and as my own self will and Directing Myself within my reality.

I see, realize, and understand that I have not stood up within and as myself within and as my own Self Will, but that I have accepted and allowed myself to willingly subject my will to the will of another, to thus be the one to make the important decisions for me, to be the one to make my life work, instead of me taking absolute Self Responsibility for this and so thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand up and Assert myself but have accepted and allowed myself to remain in a submissive role, never really standing up and Directing Myself as an Authority of myself within my world and then that to within this blame others for how my life is, not realizing, seeing, understanding  that I am the one who has willingly given my power away to others to make decisions and choices for me, that this is something that I actually wanted.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my directive will away to ‘y’ and then to turn around and blame ‘y’ for how my life is, instead of taking responsibility for my own life, for the various aspects of my life that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame ‘y’ for why they are the way they are.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to take back my directive will and directive principle on all Aspects of my life and to when and as I see myself going into a reaction of blame towards ‘y’ in relation to any point at all, to in this moment, stop and breath, and do not allow myself to go into reaction, but to rather investigate the particular point I am wanting to blame on ‘y’ and investigate how I firstly have not yet taken Absolute Responsibility for this point, and thus also how I can from here assist and support myself to Take Absolute Responsibility for any and all points that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame on ‘y’.

I realize that any reaction that comes up within me towards “y” is indicating where I require to Take Responsibility for Myself and that as long as there is reactions coming up within me towards “Y”, I see, realize, and understand that this is simply showing me where I still must Take Responsibility for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop a “submissive character” within which I have existed, because within and as the ‘submissive character’ I would not have to stand accountable but could abdicate this responsibility to others, and so within doing this, have never developed the ability to really stand up and stand out and and make ‘important decisions’ for myself but that instead I left the ‘important decisions’ to others, and so in this way have accepted and allowed others to direct my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to just want others to stand up and make the important decisions, and thus to stand within a point of responsibility, because then I can just quietly go about my business and do what ever I want to do, not having to give up my own ‘personal life’ to stand within a point of Responsibility which thus, will prevent me from being able to spend my time doing “what I want to do” where “no one bothers me” and I can just kind of “do my own thing” which is something that I always preferred doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become conditioned to and addicted to “spending my time how I want” based on a platform of taking a submissive role in my environment where I can just more exist in the background and do my own thing and not bother myself with actually Standing in a Position of Accountability and Responsibility.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame others for “my life” when it is in fact me who has not bothered to stand up and take Responsibility for certain aspects of my life but that I have left those decisions/aspects up to others to direct for me and thus within this have to ultimately live with the consequences of their decisions which is actually the consequence of my decision to do nothing and stand back and let other people make important decisions that have a direct impact on my life, all because, “I preferred to just do my own thing”

I commit myself to assist and support myself no more accept and allow myself to exist within the “I want to do my own thing” Character. I see that I have developed this Character since childhood and that this Character does not support me within becoming the Directive Principle of my Life because as this Character I leave so many aspects/decisions of my life up to others instead of me taking Responsibility for all the crucial aspects/parts/dimensions of my life.

 

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Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
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Do You Care Enough To Change – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 435

Comical Sense - Freedom

Today is the day after I herd about the passing of Bernard Poolman. So he has really left it in our hands. It is now up to us to establish a world that is best for all. To stop our accepted and allowed abuse of ourselves and each other.

I had the opportunity of meeting Bernard and living in the same environment as him for over a year. There is a part of me that really just want to ‘let this go’ to simply let it go and move on.

I remember while living with Bernard he would always push for Directive Living, for Immediate Direction, and to walk and direct regardless of ones ‘emotional experience’ so in essence for one to push oneself to be practical and standing within a point of stability at all times and not for instance ignoring ones responsibilities because “they don’t “feel” like doing it”

And so that is what I am here doing. I still had to get up today and go to work. I still must do the physical actions required of me to walk my process and assist and support the movement of the process as a whole. So what Bernard showed me is now still here assisting me to actually walk in the wake of his death, and simply remain Stable in my world and not giving into some ‘emotional turmoil’ experience. And so I breathe and I walk.

When Bernard was alive he was the point – he was ‘the one’ that everyone looked to to keep process moving. I know I did. I did this despite the fact of him making it clear over and over and over that the point is to walk as equals.

So I see the point is now not to go and look for another savior. It is to realize that we all now must walk our processes and assist and support each other as equals.

So it is like a new point of process that is opening up. Where humanity actually work together as Equals where there is no God to save us but that we must save ourselves.

We are learning together in this and we have the guidelines and the example left by Bernard for those that got to meet him and learn from him or/and those who have read and learned from his words.

So the point is here, the guidelines, now it is up to us.

We might make mistakes but that does not mean failure – it means mistakes, and then we simply adjust and correct and continue walking together assisting and supporting ourselves to stand up as Dignified Beings Living as that which we would like to see in this world. And so thus working on the dignification of both our inner and outer realities.

A interesting question that has continually come up for me during the past 24 hours is

“How does one care enough to do what Bernard Did?”

Because that is what I see in Bernard. That is what I witnessed in him…He Cared.

A care that extended beyond anything that I have actually ever encountered.

And so this is the question to myself.

How do I get myself to care enough?

And to you reading also

“Do you care enough to change?”

Because in my eyes that is what I see it boils down to. I mean its like one reach certain thresholds and the ‘care’ they have does not extend beyond that point, and so I see I/we must care. We must care enough to change to do what is necessary to bring about a world that is best for all. We must bring care into existence. Maybe for the first time? Has care ever existed? Or must we still establish this care, this respect for ourselves?.

This is a strange question to have actually existing inside of me where you’d think ‘caring’ is something natural, something that is just a part of who we are.

But if it was would the world look/exist like it does at the moment.

This is fascinating – that human beings, that “Life”, doesn’t care.

Bernard Cared – That is what I witnessed about him. That is how I have described it to myself when I look at the depths to which he went in actually Supporting Life.

So now it is our turn to do this – to ask this question for ourselves –

“Do you care enough to change?

And start living in a way that if the world was filled with just you, it would in fact be a supportive place to exist.

 

Basic Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution Presented by the Equal Life Foundation
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Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Soluitons.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

Haunted By Self Honesty – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 419

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others in process where basically I see them as doing everything right and me doing everything wrong and in this just want to consume myself in a flame of self destruction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to combust into a fire of self destruction where I consume myself in the flames of my own anger towards myself for who I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as throughout my process where I have become the result of my application, a result that clearly shows I have not applied myself as effectively as I could have and thus as the result of this, my lack of self change is evident, and so here instead of correcting this point and re-aligning myself to a point of effective application, I react and just want to implode and become like a black hole taking everything with me which I see, realize and understand is exactly the route I have accepted and allowed myself to walk up to now where this only lead to self sabotage and self compromise and so thus I see here that this reaction is clearly not supportive and so I commit myself to assist and support myself to in fact stop myself from going into this such reaction in relation to me seeing who I have become but rather to assist and support myself to direct myself to actually move myself into a point of Daily Self Support so that I no more continue to perpetuate my self stagnating application

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my ‘lack of application’ instead of stopping such reactions and instead of reacting, realign myself to actually supporting myself using the tools and support I have available to me to actually change me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience frustration because I cannot take back time, but that who I am now is a result of the time I have lived and that cannot be taken back, and thus there is no shortcuts and no undoing what has been done.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to actually live and apply the tools and support that I have available to me within the desteni network to here assist and support myself to really live in Self Honesty, a point that I see I have not yet really dared to take on and live for myself. A point that has been here the whole time but that I have claimed “I am not able to live that way” “I am not able to do it” and thus never dared to take on this Challenge of Living Self Honestly. A point that I have wanted to Live but simply have not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I don’t have the strength to live self honestly and then to try and look for that strength outside of myself instead of realizing that ALL life have the ability to Live Self Honestly as the way Life should be lived by all but that we has Life as humanity have accepted and allowed ourselves to claim that “we are just to fucked up” that “we are too damaged” that “human nature cannot change” and every other excuse in the book, instead of investigating what about our lives we fear giving up and changing if we were to actually Live Self Honestly.

I have noticed that every time I go to write the word ‘Self Honesty’ in my writing that it just feels ‘off’. Its like if feels fake. I have encountered this everytime in my writing and that is why one will find if they go back through all my writings in this blog that you will not come across this word “Self Honesty” allot. Of course I have placed it within my texts and writings in a generic sense in terms of where I know it fits within a particular context. And I have also placed this word allot where I have understood what it meant but in terms of actually Living this word, in terms of actually placing this word as a Representation of my Living Self, I have not done that because I see that I have in fact lacked Self Honesty within my process/life.

And so every time I get to placing this word into my writings I react, I hesitate, it just feels awkward. The reason for this is because I know within myself that I haven’t actually lived this word in a way where I can place it in my writings and actually stand by it and/or trust myself in the placing of this word.

I have seen this as well. I see this every time. Its like my writing flows along for instance but then when I place the word ‘self honesty’ it is like a pothole in the flow, like a hiccup, it just does not flow, like I stumble over my own feet. I just feel like I am lying and it doesn’t feel good. It kind of makes my skin crawl.

I have not bothered to take this point on either. Numerous times when I noticed this I did not ever get to ‘taking this point on’ It was like I was not ready yet to actually Live Self Honestly.

And so from here I will continue with my Investigation into this big scary word, into this word that I have been side stepping for years now. This word that seemed to big for me. To impossible, and so I will here in assist and support myself to actually confront this point and investigate it and assist and support myself to actually integrate it into myself and my life as an actual Living Word instead of having it just be Knowledge and Information. Because what is interesting is that I see that I understand what Self Honesty is. Its like I have the template, the guideline, of what Self Honesty is, its just that I Haven’t Lived it in my life and made it REAL so to speak, in ALL contexts of my life. And so I have actually come to be haunted by this word due to not having yet live this word and made it a part of who I am.

I will stop here and continue in my next blog

Basic Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution Presented by the Equal Life Foundation
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Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
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NO REAL ARTISTS Exist Today – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 360

 

I am continuing Here with the point that I started to open up yesterday within looking at/investigating and essentially exposing ‘The State of Art’ as what we as HUMANITY have collectively accepted and allowed as our expression/application of ART.

In my last blog I was looking at the instance that have come up in the news recently of an art student slaughtering a chicken in the cafeteria as part of his interpretation of an art assignment themed “fact or Fiction”

So the PROBLEM we are looking at here is ‘how did we allow ABUSE into our current definition of ART? And also how can we Realign and Correct our definition, expression and application of art so that it no more allow such abuses but rather Stand as an Absolute Expression of Support for Ourselves as ALL that exist as LIFE.

Our lack of Direction in Art stems from our lack of direction and understanding of ourselves.

Thus step 1 is to really get to know ourselves and really understand the difference between fact and fiction.

And so one alignment here one can consider within creating art is to do it from the Starting Point of getting to know oneself and investigating self to see who self really is.

I mean before we go making statements and proclamations we must actually ensure we know who we are, so that we don’t go spreading messages that could have abusive consequential outflows. Like for instance trying to ‘make a statement’ where you cut the head off a live chicken as part of your art show. Or I remember one art project in school where a women was drinking her own urin – I mean, how about art where research is done to see what the physical body actually require to support it? There’s Idea!  – lol. Or maybe investigating the uses of urine to actually contribute to the sustainable functioning of our planet. My point is here Art has become about “Making a Point” or “Making a Statement” it has become about EGO and Being important, famous, getting attention. That has become a huge part of art where we have more focused on the inequalities of art instead of the equalities within it.

Thus so here is another Direction Point – To Align art to the point of Equality and Oneness. And again to actually do this one must first understand what this entail which again bring the point back to SELF. Bringing the point back to ‘we must STOP wtf we are doing and start investigating ourselves’.

I would suggest to any serious Artist out there to investigate the “Journey To Life” Blogs being walked right now by the those participating in the process of Standing up for life and Standing together in taking responsibility for ourselves and our planet and thus putting an end to the abuses we as humanity have inflicted unto our existence. And so have taken on the challenge of walking a minimum 7 year journey to LIFE as the Self Commitment to engage in this 7 year daily writing commitment as the serious investigation into and as oneself so that one actually really truly get to know who one is and thus within this process of writing, re-align oneself with Principles that honor life eternally.

I mean to me anyone that endeavour to take on such a journey to life is the real artists of this existence.

So yes SELF FIRST. We must in fact know who we are as LIFE and so as a starting point for any and all artists to ensure that what they produce as ART has real value and integrity, is to ensure they themselves have real value and integrity and so suggest to investigate the ‘journey to life’ blogs or the Equal Life Foundation Bill of Rights. Also available is the Desteni I Process lite a free course offered to get anyone interested moving on the journey of Self Investigation and Self Understanding.

LINKS

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
equalmoney.org – Learn What Equal Money is all about and Vote on Goals and Principles
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Soluitons.
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

The Economics of Confidence – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 333

The following is an excerpt from – Creations Journey To Life – Day 354: Bitcoin and Rumors

“The Proponents of Bitcoin are Facing the Truth of being Subject to the Whims of Rumors and these Rumors are called ‘Market Forces’ – that is when you are Functioning with a Currency Ideology that is Not based on Constitutional Value, you even have that with Gold – so even a Gold Based Currency is Subject to Rumors and thus Subject to sudden drops of Values, which allow Some to Make Fortunes (the 1% normally) and the 99% to Lose the Value and the Faith they’ve placed in some ideology. You cannot base economics on Ideology – You have to Base it on a Constitutional Value.
The Only Value that Each Human Being Actually Value and would like to be at the Highest Level possible – is the Value of Life. The Equal Money System is a Constitutional Currency based on a Stable Value, the Value being Life. Thus, it’s Not Subject to Rumors and therefore the Value does Not Rise or Fall – it’s simply the Value of Life.”

What I find is that this works exactly the same with ones Confidence in oneself. I noticed this in particular in relation to a point that came up (again) the other day. I was going to a job interview and the interview required me to wear nice clothes. I was also wanting to make a good impression on the interviewers so within this I was trying to make myself appear confident. So then comes the question what is the difference between real confidence and projected confidence?
I see that real confidence would not be determined on the outcome of the interview that I was going to, but would remain stable as who I am regardless if the interview went well or not.
I noticed that I would kind of go into these ’bouts’ of confidence where for some moments I would have like this ‘confidence’ but then I would catch myself doing it. I would catch myself existing in this ‘fake confidence’ that is subject to a sudden drop in value, where like one little thing can suddenly change my entire experience of me where one moment I am confident and then the next suddenly not – thus indicating my confidence is not real in the first place because if it was REAL, I would be certain of it and it would not waiver with the slightest breeze of the wind. It does not matter how well I “project” confidence. If it is not real, it is not real.
From my perspective what I see is that Real Confidence is based on Self Honesty. I am not confident in myself when I know I bull-shit myself. When I have excuses, when I do not honor other Life or myself within a point of equality.
So as the quote above points out – “you cannot base on economy on ideaolgy – you have to based on Constitutional Value” And so I see the same works for Self Confidence. It cannot be based on anything other than “The Only Value that Each Human Being Actually Value and would like to be at the Highest Level possible – is the Value of Life”
My confidence must not be based on and thus fluctuate according to how much money I do or do not have, or what kind of relationship I do or do not have, or what kind of job, or how many friends, or the kind of car I drive, or what i look like, how attractive or unattractive I am, how smart I am, how good I am at something, or what kind of clothes I wear. It must stand in all contexts, thus I see that if my confidence actually change when I wear different clothing, that that is indicating a very superficial, influential and subject to sudden drops in value type confidence that has no stability.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live my life Daily in a way that produce no REAL confidence that stand as a pillar unwavering within me. But that I have accepted and allowed myself to concern myself with things in life that actually hold no real value that is based on the value of LIFE in fact, but that is only based on the value system/structure of the ego that has been determined by media and pop culture which place value in presentation with no real substance at all behind the picture.
I commit myself to re-look at where I have placed what I value within my life to have created myself in such a way where my Self Confidence has no Strength or Stability within me but fluctuate in value with he slightest change in the wind or idea that pop into my head where suddenly my experience within me completely change and I can find myself one minute feeling confident and in the next instance feeling inadequate.

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