Opening the Gifts of Everyday Life – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 821

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Opening Up A Moment.

What does it mean to open up a moment and get the most out of a moment?

This is the question and process I will be exploring in this blog to assist and support myself to substantiate a recent realization that came through with regards to how I can practice and refine my Living Expression so I can get the most out of myself, my life and what is here.

 

And this a Key – ‘What is HERE’

 

I find that I have the tendency to overlook what is right here as my life and to also Judge what is here where I judge my life and how it is, and what I have, my environment, my job, my relationships, my hobbies, my routines, ect. I judge everything seeing and thinking it is just not good enough, that ‘there is nothing there’ that it is boring, that its wrong, or broken, or not enough, and then I go through each day and it becomes a struggle in a way.

 

When I do this, I start looking ‘out there’ I start looking at and desiring something else, something more, something better.

 

My question is however…

 

When I do this, when I judge myself and my life in this way, am I preventing myself from seeing what is really here and so preventing myself from receiving the gifts of everyday normal life.

 

This has been a shift that I have been practicing of late.

 

Receiving the Gifts of Everyday Ordinary Life.

Essentially, extracting the fruit of the moment.

 

Though I have been practicing this process, I’d say at this stage that this entire process or concept is largely a Realization that I have still to actualize and Live and Express for real within my life, though I have began this process and have began settling down more in day to day life.

 

So lately I have been practicing Focusing on What is HERE in the moment to moment of my life. It makes a lot of sense to do this, and that instead of trying to go out and find a new life or new relationships, to actually FOCUS ON WHAT IS HERE as the Relationships, Points, and Processes that I am already engaged in and look at where I am not getting the most out of the Life that I have already created for myself.

 

And to dig into the moments more.

I see I can bee more engaged in the relationships that already are here but that I have kind of not tended to or participated in.

 

That is not to say that I shouldn’t go ahead and open up new relationships or points or processes. Its more a point of embracing what is already here to its Fullest instead of resisting it, judging it, and pushing it away.

 

So this has to do with realizing the Gifts of Everyday Life, where now I can redirect my focus to HERE and to getting the most out of each moment instead of thinking I need this great grand life or experience to have fulfillment, and to rather Extract from the Ordinary to create the Extraordinary from what is simply here.

 

For me I have had a tendency to expect the worst and to assume that I am messing everything up and that my life is falling apart because there is something not right or there is something I am doing wrong. So this is another point I see is important for me to adjust within myself and for me to rather Embrace the Successes in my life. This is something else I have been working with. I have been working on Celebrating my life more. And Honoring what I have created as my life at the moment. And practicing letting go of that paranoid anxiety that I sometimes allow to take me over to the point where I end up living in fear that everything is all wrong and will fall apart.

 

This Is also connected to Slowing Down which is the Words that I am utilizing to support in this process of stepping out of my anxious paranoia that I am somehow fucking everything up, and to rather embrace and acknowledging my Life and what I have created, allowing myself to See the Good also, instead of always just seeing and focusing on the bad.

 

So moving forward my direction will be to embrace what is here, embrace the moment, embrace the ordinary and to open up the moment, open up the ordinary and see what is here. This way I don’t have to go out and try and find some miraculous moment or over the top experience to experience some sense of fun and fulfillment within myself, but to rather work with what is already here in every moment which is actually quite cool because it takes the pressure off where I can now Look into the Ordinary and uncover the Gifts and Gems of Everyday Life and acknowledge and Explore this Potential that Everyday Life is a Treasure to Behold.

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Creating Stability in Myself and My Own Life First – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 810

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Today an unexpected guest stopped by the carving studio as I was working. It was a fellow artist who used to carve with us a couple years ago. He was driving through the area on his way to do some travelling.

Seeing him caused me to reflect upon my life and my life style and how I have approached my life and situation the past four years where since getting the opportunity to create sculptures for a gallery here where I live and to sell my work, that has been my primary focus for the past four years, with very little deviation in terms of my direction and pursuit of creating and building this point up into something stable and substantial.

For me, this opportunity to create art is significant and I have been really quite single minded in developing it into its full potential which I do not see I have reached by any means as of yet.

For me, early on in my life I was a bit more transient where now my focus is more on getting grounded, stable, and establishing some roots.

I suppose this ‘mentality’ or direction with my life was birthed out of my participation with walking the Desteni Process where I have been introduced to many principles which I have taken to heart and began implementing in my life.

As I have continued to walk this process with Desteni, I have more started viewing my life as an opportunity to take responsibility for myself, my life and others as well.

This approach I can see stems from the principle of “Doing What is Best For ALL” where I have began to align my life to this principle, where to begin Doing What is Best For ALL, I see this point of first being able to Support Myself and to Learn how to create Stability within my own life and so this is what I have been developing and creating and practicing.

So for me, creating myself and my life into a point of Stability is something I see as valuable for myself and others.

This doesn’t mean that I am not able to express and live and explore different aspects and ways of life. But I do see that this approach of Taking Responsibility For Myself and My life and Doing what is best for all,  lead me to focus on creating and establishing the point I am walking now with my art business into something that is stable and can support me to live in this world and be a functioning member of society. Its like, ‘step 1’.

So when my friend showed up today and caused me to reflect on my own life path. These are some of the points that came up in terms of looking at why I decided to stick to this sculpture point where this has been my primary focus for the last four years.

And it really is still a day to day process where I just walk day by day and do what is here and direct what is here and move myself within this Principle of Doing What is Best for ALL, which as I mentioned I see means firstly that I must Direct my own life and create a certain stability within Myself and my own Life.

 

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Realizing A New Moment Requires a New Approach – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 803

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Today was quite a challenging day at work. I kept having to go back into a particular area of my sculpture I was carving and adjust the proportions to get it aligned correctly. It was challenging because usually I get the proportions where I want them after a few adjustments, but with this one it just wasn’t quite aligning the way I was wanting and had expected based on how things normally have went in the past and so I kept going back and making adjustments and each time it was getting a little better, and a little better, and then Id tell myself “Okay this is the last time, after this it should be good” and I wanted it to be better, and to be done, and I really tried to convince myself that “it was fine” but within myself, there was still this nagging point where I could see that it just wasn’t quite where I want it yet. This adjustment process gone on around 6 or 7 times the past 2 days and as I was walking this point today I was experiencing some disbelief. I couldn’t believe that it just wasn’t aligning, even after all the adjustments I made. Then finally after I was certain I made my final adjustment to get the proportion just where I wanted it, I noticed, that…….yes…….it still needed just a bit more refining…….. so at the end of the day, I made one final adjustment and yes, FINALLY I am satisfied with the proportions…Hopefully, lol.

I will see Monday when I get back to the project and can look at it after a couple days off when I am well rested and can slow things down and make sure it is exactly where I want it.

So it was an interesting process that played out today and a good reminder that no two sculptures I create are the same and that I must be able to adjust my approach each time to do what I need to do to get the structure how I want it to be, because I can also just say “aw its good enough” but then there is a point of compromise there, not taking the necessary time to align the structure and form to the best of my ability and in a way that I see I am able to do,  which is really the point with creating these sculptures, the point for me is to do my best and live to my utmost potential. So overall, I am glad I decided to push this point today and keep going back as many times as I needed to get the sculpture where I wanted it to be.

So yes, a cool reminder here that its important to walk IN THE MOMENT and do what is necessary and what is called for in the moment where you can’t rely on how things went in the past but must be PRESENT and make sure you are assessing things in Real Time and be willing to step outside of a systematic way of operating and simply direct oneself according to each moment being a NEW Moment.

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Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential

Life Doesn’t Move in a Perfectly Straight Line – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 802

 

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Today at the end of the day at work today, I decided that I was far enough along in my stone sculpture that I wanted to get a good look at the coloration of the stone and what it would look like when it was finished.

So I retrieved some water and poured it over the stone which for a moment enhances the color of the stone until it drys again. Right away I noticed a marking that ran along the sculpture in a certain way and I started to react.

The reaction was strong.

I was frustrated, angry, and enraged at this marking on the sculpture. This is not the first time I have actually had this experience in relation to a piece that I am working on where I start noticing that the natural markings and colorations of the stone are aligning, from my perspective, in an undesirable way.

I was so frustrated.

So I got home and a couple hours later I was chatting about it with my partner and my starting point within the discussion was still based on this reaction that I was having where I was quite disgruntled and telling my partner how “now my sculpture is ruined” and I was just so angry and frustrated. And basically everything within me and coming out of me as my words where infused with an energy of resentment, blame, frustration, angry, hopelessness, irritation, ect.

Now obviously the sculpture isn’t ruined, I was actually just stuck in this reaction. And so for a moment as I was speaking with my partner, I stopped and asked myself what this reaction was showing me about Who I am and where I am from the perspective of how and why would I be having such a reaction. And so I looked at what it was showing me, and essentially that is what I am here doing with this blog. I am opening up this reaction and looking at why I would accept and allow such a reaction within me and what it is showing me about myself.

One point I notice here straight away is that one reason I would have such a strong reaction in relation to this piece is because its like “I have everything riding on it” where I can see that I have kind of tunnel visioned onto this piece and in this made this one single project into A MAJOR POINT.

So here I can acknowledge for myself that my life isn’t built on ‘one single point’ but is constructed of multiple aspects and points and so things don’t often really ride on ‘one single point’. So this is a cool point to take with me moving forwards as the realization that there is always many elements that go into my life.

As I mentioned, this is not the first time I have had such a reaction towards one of the sculptures I am working on.

However, this is something that I see I can change and would like to change. Meaning I can see that I have ‘placed everything into this sculpture’ and basically made this one piece a “make or break” situation where “if this doesn’t work out I am doomed”

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel and experience myself walking such a thin line within myself and my life in relation to success or failure where I feel like things are always so fragile and teetering on the edge in every moment, here not acknowledging the actually Stability of My life which I insist doesn’t exist.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry when one of my sculptures doesn’t go exactly as planned and work out perfectly, because in my mind, I have equated this to a set-back, where then I go into a reaction within me and think “why does this always happen to me” and essentially go into a point of victimization and disempowerment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel like my life is always hanging in the balance, and that If one thing is out of place, then everything will fall down and collapse where this experience was reflected to me in my sculpture where the natural flow of the stone was not what I wanted, and I reacted in thinking “everything is ruined” and that this one apparent misalignment will now be my doom.

Here I can also consider how this experience I was having in relation to my life, exists also in the “inner self” so this can be a mental note for myself to see if I can pin-point this “things hanging in the balance, state” existing in my inner reality and how I deal with or direct my inner world, where one wrong move can throw everything off.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be grossly impatient with the growth of my business venture/ art business which was indicated by my reaction today where I reacted to my sculpture not looking exactly perfect because to me this represented a ‘SET-BACK’ which I just couldn’t handle and went into a reaction of frustration and anger.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to desire things to be different in my life to the degree where I react whenever I perceive I have a set-back that slows me down from reaching my goals and creating my life the way I want it.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not accept the fact that Life isn’t perfect, meaning that the process of creating a business or creating my life the way I want, or creating myself,  isn’t just going to go from point ‘a’ to point ‘b’ seamlessly without anything in between. In fact, life presents many obstacles, and so I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be more patient with myself within creating my business and life where I see, realize, and understand that things don’t always move in a straight line.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I was too focused on where I was going, that I forgot about LIFE HERE, in the moment. And how life actually functions.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to subtly not want to be in my life, and so desire things to be different to the degree where the desire becomes dominant and then I react when outcomes don’t materialize as fast as possible or along the shortest route, here essentially I am judging where I am at in my life as not good enough and that “things will be better once I achieve this or that”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realize that I was focused too much “in the future” which was shown to me by how I reacted to a perceived set-back where it was like “I couldn’t handle it” I couldn’t handle having to re-walk a point or take longer in my pursuit of a goal, and so I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to find a better way to creating goals and outcomes than to ‘pursue’ them where when I am in pursuit of such points, I forget about my reality right here, and I forget to LIVE HERE walking breath by breath and moment by moment.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to embrace Set-Backs

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create set-backs in my life through by approaching things the way that I do where I perceive a mistake or an unexpected turn of direction as a set-back instead of simply a natural process of life.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to account for the mistakes, and unexpected turns which are natural within life expression and so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into CONTROL in relation to my life and creating my life and business.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to write about being more Patient, but then ‘lose it’ when something goes wrong because I am actually not being Patient in the grand scheme of things, meaning where creating self and life takes time and takes a process and isn’t always going to be a straight line.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel stressed about money, and so when I experience a ‘set-back’ in my mind that is an obstacle or “more time” now until I am satisfied with my life and business instead of practicing this point of being Satisfied with my Process of Self Creation in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become invested in a “Future Projection” instead of just taking things day by day and moment by moment, and EMBRACING and LIVING ‘IN’ My Days instead of just using my days to get somewhere else in the future, but within this forgetting to be and live HERE.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to give more attention to my Day, and stop seeing it as ‘just another day’ to be used to get somewhere else, and so ultimately am missing the day where I am just seeing it as resource to get to some future point, but within this kind of judging where I am at, and judging the elements of my life instead of Embracing them, and Embracing all the parts of my life that comprise it.

I commit myself  to STOP, to Breathe, to BE HERE, to Embrace what is here as the moment, and as each day and stop being so hell bent on getting somewhere else, but rather practice Honoring Each Day.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself reacting to one of my sculptures as if there is something about it that is “going to set me back” to stop in such moments, Breathe, and realize that if I am having that experience than this is showing me that I am not Honoring and Truly EMBRACING where I am at in my life/process of Creation,  And so I commit myself practice Embracing MY Day, and VALUING my Day more than I Value a future Projection in my mind that is not even real.

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Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
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Staying the Course to Completion – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 793

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Today my overall presence of myself was “Okay” Today was my ‘Monday’ as the first day of the work week and I split my time between carving and painting. I had a busy weekend with some responsibilities to take care of and I did direct those responsibilities and so it did “lift some weight off my shoulders”

Sometimes I have noticed when facing certain responsibilities that I will kind of build everything up into a kind of pressure bubble, and then afterwards its like the bubble pops and I go into the opposite polarity experience, so if things are busy, then I will go into a lull of sorts and I find for this weekend in facing a ‘busy weekend’ that I wanted to practice just walking through the points without polarizing the whole thing which for me often leads to unsupportive habits/patterns. So what Id like to work on is actually walking through points, sorting them out, directing them, processing them, and being Constant within this. And within this Breathing and just continuing to DIRECT the point and all the dimensions involved until its DIRECTED AND CLEAR. Sometimes I will get half way through points and crash. Or sometimes I will get half way through a day, or a week, and then crash.

So this application and process of being more ‘even’ if something that I at times struggle with. Especially with “busy days” when I have ‘more than usual’ responsibilities. So in the past I have lived out this polarity point where things become pressurized and I just try to get through it to the otherside where then I go into extreme relaxation mode, which I see actually isn’t even enjoyable and is more just an energy playout.

So the correction for this point is to focus rather on just taking it one day at a time and moving myself to embrace the tasks, events, and responsibilities of my day rather than fight with them. So within this, I can see I can support myself by not “looking at the other side” which I often do where I will project and imagine into the future when “I will be free” and have “spare time” and then I will end up focusing on that instead of just walking day by day and moment by moment and utilizing my time effectively and seeing tasks, projects, and responsibilities through into completion.

I often look at how I can take on more in my reality and have struggled with this. I often desire free-time where I can relax and just enjoy myself and there are times where I try and seek out free time but I can see how this is more of me just wanting to escape my reality and my responsibilities.

So in my last blog – https://anartistsjourneytolife.wordpress.com/2017/02/27/prying-into-my-priorities-an-artists-journey-to-life-day-792/ I wrote about living the word ‘prioritizing’.

This what I am writing about today applies to this word ‘prioritizing’ as well because here I am looking at ways and creating ways to Face and Direct my Responsibilities of my life more FULLY and DIRECTIVE through into Completion,   so Here I am I reminding myself also again of the commitment I made to Live this word “Prioritizing” where not only am I creating a more structured order of what needs to be done, but the KEY is I am actually doing it!

When I end up in a polarizing experience of being really busy and then going into extreme relax mode, I just Stop Everything, So here I see what Id like to develop and create is a way to just be more Consistent and Directive and ACTIVE within my day because that “extreme relaxation” is really not a supportive experience and also not actually relaxing either. So I do have to practice being “Active” and Engaged more fully with my day where I am Here, Clear, and Present through an ENTIRE day instead of sneaking off into or indulging in my mind or some experience. Can I make it through an entire Month without crashing? How about a week? “How about a day? So this point of consistency is really the word for todays blog as a way to apply myself instead of going into “extreme relax mode” or that point of where I don’t walk my responsibilities or my day or week through into completion but just only go half way and then give up.

Correction Words To Live

Prioritizing     –    Even   –    Engaging    –    Embracing    –    Constant   – Completion    – Patience     –     Pace

 

Okay so I have pulled out a few words in this blog but the ones that ring the truest for tonight is the words CONSTANT, COMPLETION, as well as the word PATIENCE as words I can Develop in my Living to support me in developing my effectiveness at being Directive each day and walking all the points in my life through into completion instead of just giving up half way  and retreating into my mind or experiences or comfort zones. Patience and Constancy.

Okay going to leave it here for tonight.

 

SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime

Thou Shalt Not SCROLL! – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 784

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For the past three days my partner and I have decided to make an adjustment to our “internet usage”.

Our starting point for this was to change how we use the internet which we observed had become abusive and diminishing in nature where a lot of how we were using it was for entertainment and distraction.

For me personally this has been something I have been wanting to do for a while but just never ventured to do. So the rules of our engagement were that we were to stop

“Mindless Scrolling”

“TV Series and Movies”

“Searching for Distraction”

“No Sports Highlights” (this one was more for me)

“No Games”

And that’s about it, and that we would take this on for 1 week.

I wanted to see how this would go and what I would do with myself.

Ultimately the point is to Support ourselves to develop Supportive Movement and to create a way to break from that automated behavior of just magnetically grabbing your phone and checking to see whats up, which does not bring the Most out of me.

So now when ever this experience or urge comes within me, I am faced with actually having to DECIDE what to do with myself and to make sure that that Decision is doing something supportive.

Its amazing actually how much time I wasted EVERY NIGHT on “mindless scrolling” and checking the hockey highlights.

So now instead of just going for the phone and sinking in, I have to be much more deliberate and aware within myself with regards to what I am going to do.

So we will walk the 1 week and see how it goes and see how we can adjust the point afterwards to make sure that we just don’t revert back to the old behavior.

So ya, so far it has been interesting in those moments where that urge comes up within me to “check my phone” and that desire to just scroll through my facebook because I don’t actually really want to have to Make a Decision with Awareness. So within doing this I can also support myself to overall Slow down and just be Here and check in with my experience and body instead of diverting my attention into my computer. So rather I can focus my attention on Myself, on HERE, on my Presence, on my Physical Body, and just Breath and Practice SELF AWARENESS where I see my internet use has definitely become a practice of Self Distraction and Separating myself as my attention from Myself. Even after just 3 days I have already noticed more of a Presence within myself during the Evenings which for me where the “problem periods” where I just get home from work and dive into the computer and only come up for air every now and then.

Definitely recommend to the Scrollers out there to give it a shot…..you know you want to.

Reacting Emotionally to Work Decisions – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 775

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Today was my first day back at work after taking some time off. I was somewhat tentative my first day back, moving into the day slowly and just taking my time moving into things again. So, I am not yet in the ‘full-swing’ of things. My observations about today was that I did or am wondering why I was apprehensive in terms of getting things going again after my time off and why I didn’t just dive in and get things moving with more force, certainty and directivness, but instead was more feeling things out.

I can see that there is some slight reactions within me in relation how I approached today. Before my break, I was pushing myself to work longer hours and was more just overall at a point of wanting to push things.

Overall I would prefer to have a more relaxed application with work, where I didn’t feel so strained or rushed which is how things came to eventually materialize before I took a break. So as I move back into my work application again one thing I would like to investigate, and explore is my relationship with time and money as well as feeling rushed or strained at work and basically investigating what I can do support myself to have a more balanced and stable experience when it comes to work. I am satisfied with how things are at the moment in terms of what I have to work with to support myself to continue to explore, refine, specify, correct, and create my “working-Life” relationship. Though ultimately it is simply my LIFE overall and ‘working’ is just an aspect of that.

Physically my back was quite sore after work today. Daaaaannng. Like quite sore indeed. My Job is very much a physical job and my physical well-being is important to the application and sustenance of my job so any time I have physical ailments It does have the potential to bring up some reactions such as fears and such.

So today, going to work after some time off and then having some nice back pain after work is definitely some FeedBACK in terms of now what to focus on tomorrow and consistently as I am taking on such physical work

I also had some Emotional Reactions coming up today in relation to some decisions I had to make regarding some direction with my job. That is one thing that, when it came up today, I noticed had been missing from my life since taking some time off. So this is definitely a KEY for me as a point to Support myself to Correct with my Job. Here I can practice making Decisions without getting emotional. It was interesting to have these specific emotional points come up again today. As I noticed them coming up, it was alike alarm bells going off where I was like “Heeeyyyyyy I haven’t had these types of thoughts in a while” and so realizing that these specific natured emotional reactions I have in relation to making particular decisions at work are quite specific to my job and indicating clearly an aspect of myself to Correct.

So this is actually quite cool because I am seeing this now as perhaps one of the more ‘important’ things that came from today where moving forward now I will support myself to Stabilize myself in relation to these specific emotional points that come up when facing particular decision points and projects related to my work.

 

SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime