A New Dimension of SUCCESS – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 818

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I recently started reading a book written about Jack Ma and the creation of Alibaba which is one of the worlds largest online marketplaces. In reading about Jack and his enterprise I came across a couple examples of Ma’s definition of Success that I found to be very grounded, practical, and livable by anyone where he really took that point of success and boiled it down into something tangible, and accessible to everyone.

What I find interesting is that I have been deliberately working with the process of Re-defining and Living Words, and here this man actually did exactly this by coming up with his personal definition of Success that he could live and apply in his world in a way that supported him.

In the book, Ma defined it as follows,

“Success lies not in how much you have accomplished, but in the fact that you have done something, experienced the process, and begun to learn something”

What I like about this definition is it emphasizes not an outcome of good or bad, success or failure, but of THE ACT, the point of taking action and actually doing something – That is the success, the fact that you got off your but and applied yourself.

For me, I have been slowly starting to develop a new body of artwork and so I really relate to this definition of success because for me the most difficult part often is just getting up and DOING SOMETHING, or motivating myself to sit down in front of my canvas and start painting. Where that very action IS the success, not the outcome, but the ACT.

So here I see for myself that to be more successful requires me to take more action. On paper it looks easy, though I do understand that applying and living this definition of success may bring up other dimensions for me to consider and work out.

Okay that’s the point I wanted to Share!

 

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Do I Have an Impact in the Lives of Others? – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 815

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I have recently been listening to the New Eqafe series on the statement “I Matter” and will share here what I gained from the interviews as well as how I am applying in my own living what I have been listening too.

One of the questions posed in the series that stood out the most to me was the question of Who you are in relation to other people in your life and DO YOU MATTER in their lives at all or the questions I was reflecting while listening to the interviews was “Do I matter to these people or am I just kind of there in their lives and having no impact on them or their lives what so ever?” Is that who I want to be for others and myself?”

Now this question of “Do I matter” has nothing to do with wanting or needing others to recognize me. It more has to do with Looking at Myself and how I live and considering how I want to live and who I could potentially be in this world and the kind of impact I could have on peoples lives and the people around me instead of just kind of existing as a fly on the wall where its like I am actually having very little impact on peoples lives.

This question raised in this series I thought was a really cool point for me because I have noticed that I do have quite a small circle of individuals in my life and my relationship with them can at times be very inconsequential.

I can see for myself that actually I would rather contribute some real value to peoples lives instead of just kind of ‘being there’.

A couple days before this interview I had received an e-mail from a colleague of mine asking me for some information. My immediate reaction was going into resistance towards providing the info, in particular providing the info in a level of detail that would actually be supportive for him. I had thoughts like “its not my responsibility to provide you this stuff” and “your getting me to do your legwork” and other thoughts in this nature where I didn’t want to at all put in ANY Effort whatsoever to give this info to this individual aside from the bare minimum. I could see that I was in fact having a little emotional tantrum and so I decided to just let the point go for now and re-visit it later after I’d sorted out my reaction.

So as I was listening to the I Matter Series on Eqafe and I started seeing this consideration to actually move myself to actually start Mattering in the relationships I have in my life, I saw how, if I were to actually put in the time to really give my colleague a thorough detailed response to his inquiry that I really could be an actual support to his project and his life.

So this is exactly what I did.

Obviously this is something that I have to push more with myself where I stop just doing the bare minimum when it comes to who I am in relation to others and the kinds of contributions I give to others unconditionally. You know, I see that I can also do with any kind of project I am doing also, where I really give it my all. So it just doesn’t go for peer to peer relationships, but ALL relationships that one is existing in within ones life.

I remember 10 years ago, an individual literally changed the course of my life by actually putting in the effort to answer some questions I had where this individual provided me with support that could have easily just not been given. From my perspective, I was a complete stranger and I was not really giving anything in return, and yet the answers I received for my questions went above and beyond the scope of common human curtesy. To me it revealed a genuine and real interest in MAKING A DIFFERENCE in this world and in the lives of others.

So this is definitely something I would like to contribute and continue to develop and become within myself where I push myself to have a real impact on the lives of others, where I do this not only for them but for me and for the world as a whole.

Id highly recommend this series which began with the following interview. – https://eqafe.com/p/purpose-has-left-the-building-reptilians-part-560

 

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The Force of Fear – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 814

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Last week I ended up leaving work early after noticing some pain and discomfort in my shoulder. I decided I would take the rest of the week off, and the weekend as I usually do and be ready for work again on Monday. By Sunday it was clear that the injury I sustained would require more time for healing. I set a new goal to be back to work mid-week and now today marks the mid-week and once again I am met with the reality of the situation, that more time is required.

So this has been an interesting experience/process because suddenly and unexpectedly I am unable to do the job and purpose I have given myself and have been focusing on for the past 4 years.

The first couple days I resisted facing myself, meaning I resisted facing myself in those moments where I would have to direct myself where normally I would be at work giving all my attention and energy to that where suddenly I have been forced into a different reality where what I have been focusing on day in and day out for the past few years is not an option, and so I now I have to figure out something else to do with myself and my time.

In a way this is actually quite cool because I haven’t really had a moment to do this in quite some time because I kind of created a routine that I have been living out and so not really needing to create my day in any other way than the usual routine.

I had been trying to work through the pain for a while until finally I pushed it too far and ended up hurting myself.

This brought up some considerations for me regarding how I wasn’t really directing myself supportively and so I have been looking at what experiences lead up to the injury and how I can adjust and realign my approach to my job so that I am doing it in a more supportive and sustainable way instead of just soldiering through with my head down, insisting that, I have no other choice, then suddenly my body physically gives out.

One driving force in this reality that I see I have definitely allowed to influence me in my life which contributed to this injury is the force of FEAR. And specifically Fear in relation to survival which is connected with Money and so one drives oneself to make money getting so caught up in that FEAR of Survival that in my case I pushed my physical body in such a way where it gave out.

So definitely some introspection necessary here to sort this accepted Fear of Survival taking such a hold on my expression and drive and direction in life to the point where I needed a physical reminder as a body injury to SNAP ME OUT OF IT or at least put in a position where I stop for a moment and look at how I have been living.

Actually in all honesty, I am also relieved. Relieved to be able to have a moment to not think about that  which I have been thinking about soooooo much for the past 4 years, and so I have an opportunity to kind of just step back for a moment and assess everything and step out of those thought patterns that I have been engaged in for so long. So yes, some relief to now just have a moment to step out of that routine.

So in assessing my physical body day to day, I would say I am at LEAST a week away from returning to work. And during this time I can began practicing LISTENING to my Body and actually Honoring the feedback its giving me and stop accepting and allowing myself to come up with reasons to continue pushing myself until I get hurt. I told myself  “I had no choice” where now that things have slowed down a bit, I do see that I actually during that time I was busy pushing to complete the projects I wanted too, that I did have a choice during that time and I could have slowed down, and been more patient. So its been an interesting few days and I will continue to walk both the inner and outer of supporting myself through this injury process.

 

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Determining My Outcomes Through Daily Living – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 806

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Today is the beginning of the work week for me. I felt a bit depressed this morning when I woke up. The experience seemed to be ‘out of  nowhere’ though last night I was discussing a few points with my partner about some stress that I was experiencing in relation some aspects of the responsibilities associated with work. So this morning as I got ready to go to work, I related this seemingly out-of-nowhere experience of depression to these work related points I was discussing the night before.

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become overwhelmed with stress in relation to directing and walking the obligations and responsibilities in relation to my career.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to still feel the need and desire to control my reality and force it to move the way that I want it to when working with other people, expecting other people to move how I want them to because its convenient for me where I am not considering that people are entire universes unto themselves where their lives are vast and comprised of various relationships and so I cannot expect them to move according to my wishes and desires just because it would suit me best, and so here I commit myself to remember to consider that People are complex and have much going on within themselves and within their lives and to within this, be more patient and understanding.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my life not working or my business failing where this fear drives me to try to control people and push things to move how I desire to have them move, where I become much less flexible and flowing, And so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try an achieve success from a starting point of Fear of Failure. And so here I commit myself to walk and live the word Patience where within living the word Patience I stop accepting and allowing myself to exist within my default setting of “expecting to fail” and so thus I commit myself to stop expecting to fail and then having a fear emerge of fearing to fail which then drives me into control and desire, as well as being more rigid and inflexible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not consider that I could potentially still achieve success or desired outcomes through being more easy going, patient, and flexible. Wouldn’t that be awesome considering this is often how I find things move in physical reality where things move slowly as there is multiple points coming  together.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not consider that perhaps success can be achieved through living  and walking the word Patience where I allow things to take time and not go into that point of trying to control or force them, and while I wait, I can give my time and attention to projects and tasks that are HERE and that I can DIRECT , Here and Now in the moment instead of feeling stuck like I am waiting for things to move so I can move.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear writing the word success, and so thus fear the word success.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear even mentioning the word success, because to me I have accepted that this will only mean failure. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear Failure where I see it as a bad thing, and so creating ‘failure’ to be this ‘big thing’ and something to fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to function within my life based on a pre-programmed setting of an expectations of failure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that failure is permanent and so fear failing because I perceive this as the end, instead of considering that I can simply continue on and continue testing new ways and solutions, and that failure is not this big thing that I have to fear constantly day in an day out.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that failure is forever.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that failure means the end of the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in constant fear of a massive failure taking place, where its like I am constantly in fear of everything just collapsing in a major way. (What a tiring way to live, phew)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing opportunities

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define others and different opportunities as the determinants of my success or failure instead of realizing  that I am responsible for the outcome of myself and my life meaning, that if the success or failure of my business is based on luck or what other people do or don’t do, then its bound to fail anyways. Rather I commit myself to remember and to stand within the starting point that I determine the different OUTCOMES of my business,  meaning where I commit myself to become the SOURCE of my ability to grow, expand, develop myself and my business where this is based on MY actions and what I do or do not do, and so within this GROUND my approach to walking my current path with life and business where I LIVE SUCCESS, not through ‘where I end up’ but through Who I am and How I am LIVING and DIRECTING MYSELF Daily, and to simply walk day by day, pushing and directing myself to Live to my utmost potential where this becomes the foundation of my Living and my Self and Business Development.

I commit myself to take the attention that I have placed ‘out there’ onto what others are doing and how that affects my me, my life and business, and bring this attention back to ME, and to focus on what I am doing and what I can do and live daily to assist and support myself to LIVE MY UTMOST POTENTIAL every day, and so support myself to Give myself back my Self Directive Principle and Responsibility through by focusing on Who I am and What I can do daily to live to my utmost potential and expand, develop, refine, push, express, support myself and what I am doing within my life.

 

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Consequence of Forcing My Pace – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 799

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So for the past week I have been noticing my shoulder being sore and tense and doing a bit of grinding when I move it in a particular way. My job can be quite physically demanding at time and no doubt puts stress on that shoulder on account of the ‘grinding’ I do each day where I am literally grinding away stone in creating stone sculptures. Its interesting how Art is often seen as a finished product and what is not seen is the actual process of creating it where in this case in creating stone sculptures, it is quite a physically demanding task and if one is not careful, they could end up causing damage to their physical body. Art easily becomes romanticized and the reality of it sometimes is not considered.

So this shoulder point can also serve as a reminder for me to not FORCE myself while I am at work, but rather to focus on carving/moving in a natural way.

I sometimes will end up forcing myself to try and move faster at work, and also in my life overall. And then what ends up happening is you end up injuring yourself. Well, not necessarily every time but in my case, I can see how my “pace” this last month with creating stone carvings was a bit more ‘driven’ then usual, which I see may have contributed to the soreness/injury. Where there was a kind of anxiety within me of feeling like I needed to get everything done quickly.

I find one reason I go into this Forcing Pace is because of FEAR. Where I am trying to make up for lost time or often where I am driven by a Fear of Running out of money, which I see is a point that I have faced on many occasions these past 4 years since the point of creating an art business began to take shape and become a reality.

Recently a new opportunity opened up where I suddenly experience more of a pressure to ‘create more art faster’. So this is also another dimension of this point where I go to quickly and start forcing myself within my expression and application. This dimension is the dimension of impatience, where, its like I have a few projects on my plate and I just want to get them all done asap where there is a kind of anxiety around the process of completing the work. And so in this case with the new opportunity I can see an eagerness to get the art done that is requested, yet here also I do see FEAR, a fear of the opportunity not working out and so I just want to get everything done as quick as I can as a point of Trying to make sure everything works out but doing this out of impatience and fear that “things just won’t turn out”

So my Shoulder is now forcing me to slow down and to be patient – Lol which is funny because now I am my own Patient, supporting myself in the healing process of this shoulder injury.

Here’s an interesting question. What happens if I just Slow Down, and stop rushing and just sloooow myself right down in my Self Creation and Business Creation Process? Would things fall apart? Would I run out of money? Or would things remain Stable?

So here this blog is a point of bringing into my awareness this tendency I have to allow myself to be driven by anxiety, and the consequences that this can have on my life and my physical body also.

And so to assist and support myself to breathe and let that anxiety go if I see it coming up, and to practice moving and directing myself at a Natural Supportive Pace, knowing and understanding that eventually things will get done through consistent application. And establishing this point of moving at a natural pace within my Business and Life and Self Creation Process.

 

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Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential

Driven by a Fear of Failure – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 778

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Recently I have started to investigate within myself who I have been throughout my life and what has been driving me all these years to have lived my life the way I have and become who I have become.

In my investigations I was looking at this aspect of myself where I always wanted to become the best that I could be, and really tap into the potential that exists within me as a Life Expression.

I am still very much driven to do this however one thing that I am seeing is that this ‘Drive’ to be and become my utmost potential is actually connected with FEAR.

If I look at who I am now in my life, I see that I often feel like I am not living to my full potential, and so within me there exists both a DESIRE to be this Ultimate Self, while at the same time Absolute FEAR that I will NOT do it, and that something, or more specifically I will get in my own way and prevent myself from realizing my Full Potential in this Life-Time.

When I was younger I also noticed this inner drive within me to realize my utmost potential. But even then there was a dimension of this that was connected with competition and being the best in relation to others, instead of being MY BEST, meaning where I Live in such a way that is Unique to me where I support my individual strengths and abilities specific to ME and who I am and where I am in my life where this could in no way be the exact same as someone else and so there is really no way to compare one selves ultimate potential with another’s but rather where Each ones Ultimate Potential is Specific to them.

So what does it mean to Live MY Ultimate Potential?

So in seeing this connection I have had to FEAR in terms of Driving Myself to be the Best I can be in my life, I am now seeing that I will have to revisit this question of what it means to really live and fulfil myself into my fullest Potential and to revisit this question from a point of Stability and Stillness. I am going to now place here a definition of the word “Freedom” that I see as a cool starting point for re-looking at this question for myself

“Freedom – moments that you have with yourself by taking a breath, slowing down and becoming still. In so doing you give yourself the gift of being able to look, reflect, direct and move with self awareness; ensuring that you have the freedom to make a decision without fear and accept the consequences of your thoughts, words and deeds. Trusting that whatever comes, whatever will be: I am here.” – School of Ultimate Living

So moving forward I am going to assist and support myself to remove FEAR out of the equation of what is motivating and driving me in attempting to become my utmost potential as I see that it doesn’t support in me being able to See Clearly and Direct myself in Awareness of Myself within this endeavor which is probably why after all these years, this Fear and Desire in relation to this point is still existing within me.

Till next time.

Trusting Others Before Trusting Yourself – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 777

 

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Do you put more weight on what other people say, or are you stable enough and clear within yourself and your understanding of yourself and the world to Trust your own insights and observations?

I wanted to write about this point today both as a reminder, as well as just opening it up a bit more to clarify, and substantiate for myself.

It has to do with me trusting my own observations and insights as opposed to trusting what other people have to say.

I realize it is important to listen to others and consider their feedback and unique perspective on things, but I also see the importance in making sure that one remains grounded and clear within self where one is using another’s feedback as a cross-reference not as an authority.

I was listening to an interview from EQAFE yesterday and the interview mentioned this point with regards to trusting yourself and knowing yourself enough to not be so influenced and swayed by what other people say and do in this world. Like for instance just following trends just because others do it and say “its cool” instead of CREATING your own style based on your own Unique Self Expression. A fascinating reference point given in the interview with regards to how to support yourself in establishing this clarity and trust within yourself is to make sure that you are doing this with yourself firstly in relation to who you are in and as the mind, meaning, to practice taking DIRECTION with and for yourself in relation to your mind as a starting point for developing ones stability of self instead of just being directed and bossed around by the backchat in your head or emotional reactions that flare up within oneself.

Today I was speaking to a friend of mine and I noticed how much I was moved into emotional/fear/anxiety reactions through the conversation we were having. Some of these reactions were subtle, but escalated throughout the day where by an hour or two after the conversation I could tell what he had said affected me and I was reacting to what he was speaking about because it was contrary to the ideas that I had about certain things.

My realization was that yes its always cool to consider feedback from others, but also what I noticed was how I had completely abandon my own ideas and directions I was moving in based on the feedback I have been getting the last few years from my own reality and so I took this persons words as authority and completely devalued the feedback I had been getting from my reality that was directly related to my day to day living. So this kind of just revealed how I still haven’t established that TRUST within myself in relation to the Directions I am taking in my world and how one persons opinion can sway me or throw me off track instead of being something I can use practically to refine my own personal direction in myself and my life.

So this event today emphasized to me that I still have work to do with practicing my own SELF DIRECTION And Establishing that DEEP STABLE TRUST within and as Myself in relation to my own mind as the first place starting point where I Practice using Common Sense and Practical Insight to Direct Myself and Live in a way that is best for me rather than just following and obeying the impulses and inner talk of the mind that I have programmed into and as me throughout my life as well as through the sins of the fathers in absorbing family and cultural programming ect, where this has become me and “I” am not where to be found because “I” have not yet effectively learned to be HERE and Direct and Express ME as a Directive Principle.

So the process I am walking is learning how to DIRECT MYSELF which I see, realize, and understand Starts with Self as How I Direct me starting with Directing Myself in relation to my mind through not giving into the what the mind tells me to do or tells me who I am. Or giving in to the various emotional programmings of the mind such as depression, apathy, fear, submissiveness, that have kept me “on track” and in the TRAP of my life as routine and preference and comfort that I have patterned myself to be that is not a reflection of my best self and utmost potential.

So one word that I can redefine for myself in relation to this point is the word “Authority” So to support myself to practice living my own Authority for myself.

SOUL –  The School of Ultimate Living is an online community of people interested in
discovering and developing their utmost potential
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime