A New Dimension of SUCCESS – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 818

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I recently started reading a book written about Jack Ma and the creation of Alibaba which is one of the worlds largest online marketplaces. In reading about Jack and his enterprise I came across a couple examples of Ma’s definition of Success that I found to be very grounded, practical, and livable by anyone where he really took that point of success and boiled it down into something tangible, and accessible to everyone.

What I find interesting is that I have been deliberately working with the process of Re-defining and Living Words, and here this man actually did exactly this by coming up with his personal definition of Success that he could live and apply in his world in a way that supported him.

In the book, Ma defined it as follows,

“Success lies not in how much you have accomplished, but in the fact that you have done something, experienced the process, and begun to learn something”

What I like about this definition is it emphasizes not an outcome of good or bad, success or failure, but of THE ACT, the point of taking action and actually doing something – That is the success, the fact that you got off your but and applied yourself.

For me, I have been slowly starting to develop a new body of artwork and so I really relate to this definition of success because for me the most difficult part often is just getting up and DOING SOMETHING, or motivating myself to sit down in front of my canvas and start painting. Where that very action IS the success, not the outcome, but the ACT.

So here I see for myself that to be more successful requires me to take more action. On paper it looks easy, though I do understand that applying and living this definition of success may bring up other dimensions for me to consider and work out.

Okay that’s the point I wanted to Share!

 

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Determining My Outcomes Through Daily Living – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 806

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Today is the beginning of the work week for me. I felt a bit depressed this morning when I woke up. The experience seemed to be ‘out of  nowhere’ though last night I was discussing a few points with my partner about some stress that I was experiencing in relation some aspects of the responsibilities associated with work. So this morning as I got ready to go to work, I related this seemingly out-of-nowhere experience of depression to these work related points I was discussing the night before.

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become overwhelmed with stress in relation to directing and walking the obligations and responsibilities in relation to my career.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to still feel the need and desire to control my reality and force it to move the way that I want it to when working with other people, expecting other people to move how I want them to because its convenient for me where I am not considering that people are entire universes unto themselves where their lives are vast and comprised of various relationships and so I cannot expect them to move according to my wishes and desires just because it would suit me best, and so here I commit myself to remember to consider that People are complex and have much going on within themselves and within their lives and to within this, be more patient and understanding.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear my life not working or my business failing where this fear drives me to try to control people and push things to move how I desire to have them move, where I become much less flexible and flowing, And so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to try an achieve success from a starting point of Fear of Failure. And so here I commit myself to walk and live the word Patience where within living the word Patience I stop accepting and allowing myself to exist within my default setting of “expecting to fail” and so thus I commit myself to stop expecting to fail and then having a fear emerge of fearing to fail which then drives me into control and desire, as well as being more rigid and inflexible.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not consider that I could potentially still achieve success or desired outcomes through being more easy going, patient, and flexible. Wouldn’t that be awesome considering this is often how I find things move in physical reality where things move slowly as there is multiple points coming  together.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not consider that perhaps success can be achieved through living  and walking the word Patience where I allow things to take time and not go into that point of trying to control or force them, and while I wait, I can give my time and attention to projects and tasks that are HERE and that I can DIRECT , Here and Now in the moment instead of feeling stuck like I am waiting for things to move so I can move.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear writing the word success, and so thus fear the word success.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear even mentioning the word success, because to me I have accepted that this will only mean failure. I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Fear Failure where I see it as a bad thing, and so creating ‘failure’ to be this ‘big thing’ and something to fear.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to function within my life based on a pre-programmed setting of an expectations of failure.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that failure is permanent and so fear failing because I perceive this as the end, instead of considering that I can simply continue on and continue testing new ways and solutions, and that failure is not this big thing that I have to fear constantly day in an day out.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that failure is forever.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that failure means the end of the world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live in constant fear of a massive failure taking place, where its like I am constantly in fear of everything just collapsing in a major way. (What a tiring way to live, phew)

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing opportunities

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define others and different opportunities as the determinants of my success or failure instead of realizing  that I am responsible for the outcome of myself and my life meaning, that if the success or failure of my business is based on luck or what other people do or don’t do, then its bound to fail anyways. Rather I commit myself to remember and to stand within the starting point that I determine the different OUTCOMES of my business,  meaning where I commit myself to become the SOURCE of my ability to grow, expand, develop myself and my business where this is based on MY actions and what I do or do not do, and so within this GROUND my approach to walking my current path with life and business where I LIVE SUCCESS, not through ‘where I end up’ but through Who I am and How I am LIVING and DIRECTING MYSELF Daily, and to simply walk day by day, pushing and directing myself to Live to my utmost potential where this becomes the foundation of my Living and my Self and Business Development.

I commit myself to take the attention that I have placed ‘out there’ onto what others are doing and how that affects my me, my life and business, and bring this attention back to ME, and to focus on what I am doing and what I can do and live daily to assist and support myself to LIVE MY UTMOST POTENTIAL every day, and so support myself to Give myself back my Self Directive Principle and Responsibility through by focusing on Who I am and What I can do daily to live to my utmost potential and expand, develop, refine, push, express, support myself and what I am doing within my life.

 

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Mental Armageddon – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 572

 

Abstract

I am now from here applying Self Forgiveness on the points I opened up in the following blog  – Irreversible Mistakes and What This Says About You – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 565

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within a point of ‘expecting the worst around every corner’ where I am consistently existing within a state of fear in relation to ‘bad things happening to me’ as the consequence of what I perceive I have done bad in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my life is already determined and that what is/has been determined is what I perceive and believe to be ‘negative outcomes’ or ‘failures’ and so when something I perceive to be bad happens to me or if there is even a slight indication or hint of what I perceive to be something bad happening to me, I react within a point of “I knew it” or “I deserve it” because I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that these ‘bad events’ are already determined based of who I have accepted and allowed myself to live/exist as where in essence I have accepted that not only will ‘nothing good ever happen to me’ but that actually ‘bad things’ will happen to me or ultimately that, ‘my life will not work’ and thus I carry this idea around within me as I walk/live day to day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as one who carries around a ‘bad/negative’ idea about myself day to day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to innately believe that ‘my life will not work’ where I have within myself come to expect failure as the most common, and from a certain perspective the eventual outcome of everything that I do within my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that failure is the eventual outcome of everything that I attempt/take on/ walk/ in my life, and so when I am doing something and I perceive things to be ‘going sour’ I within myself immediately go into the reaction of thinking that “this is an indication that what I am doing will fail”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly be scanning my reality looking for signs that what I am doing/living is going to fail, and if I see nothing to indicate this, I believe within myself that ‘they must be hiding’ or ‘i must not be noticing them’ where even if there is nothing indicating to me that what I am doing is is going to end in failure, I just go ahead and believe this anyways, which is thus overall indicating a deep seeded doubt I have within me towards myself and my ability to succeed or have things turn out well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight within myself about whether something will succeed or fail where I have created this entire inner experience of thinking about and wondering about if what I am doing will fail or succeed and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within myself within an entire reality of sorts dedicated to the debate of whether what I am doing/applying myself within will succeed or fail, instead of stopping this entire inner debate and simply focusing on the physical practical task at hand in each moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that what I do will not work out and thus within this fear create an unstable experience in the moment that then has an influence on how I am applying myself in the moment and so in a way my fear based on the projection that ‘things will fail’ actually create and manifest this because this experience I create within myself  in relation to this affects my in-the-moment application thus I become not as effective as I could be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted in a way to thinking about and anticipating ‘how things are going to go’ where within myself I am playing out all the different potentials of success and failure and in doing this creating an entire energetic experience of positive and negative energies.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create emotionally distraught experiences within myself through by defining events within my reality as negative or ‘indications of failure’

I will continue in my next blog.

 

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Placing My Trust in Failure – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 563

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to react to the point of needing to fill out the necessary forms to get a business number for my business.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a ‘dropping’ experience in relation to this point of registering my business where within myself I see this as a ‘big ordeal’ and so in relation to this experience this ‘dropping’ within myself, is a form of ‘falling’ in relation to the point instead of standing equal to the task.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stand equal to the task of registering my business where I see that there is still many points within myself in relation to doing this that are not yet Aligned in a way that will effectively support this point in producing effective results. And so when for instance the point of registering my business comes up, I go into reaction instead of practical direction as the point of standing equal to the task.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that ‘there is no point’ to registering my business because within myself I believe ‘it will not work out anyways’ and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by an experience coming up inside me in relation to this point about registering my business where I have allowed this experience to automatically dictate what I do instead of assisting and supporting myself to investigate where this experience comes from and if it is something that I should place my trust in.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist in a way where I don’t even understand the experiences that are happening inside me from the perspective of where I cannot really tell fact from fiction in terms of identifying which are experiences that is based on false perceptions of reality, and what is common sense and practical considerations, where its like all of this just seems to mix together where I cannot seem to differentiate it from each other.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself when this point of ‘registering’ my business came up because I was prompted by someone else to do this where then I went into self judgement andthought/believed that because I was not the one prompting myself that this means or indicates that I have failed or that it will end in failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my business will fail and so don’t even bother doing the necessary alignments within the system to ensure that it can function in the best way possible, and thus have fundamentally given up before I even began.

There is definitely a part of me that doesn’t really see this ‘going anywhere’. There is also a part of me that doesn’t believe I will actually have any success doing this.

It is interesting because in my mind I often will see and envision this point (my business) working in various contexts and what that will look like, but then here I will really reign myself back because deep down I don’t really think its going to work out and so Its like I have already accepted failure, like I am already seeing and projecting the failure point into the endeavour which I see really ‘kills the motivation’ in a way.

But what I wanted to mention is how there is like 2 versions happening in terms of the possibilities where there is like the perfect version where everything works miraculously and then there is the point where it simply just fizzle out and fail and that the point where it fizzle out and fail, I seem to define and see as more valid and more real and in a way ‘what will likely happen’. And so I thought it was interesting that I have given more value and credit to the ‘negative’ version of the play-outs that take place within me as if the ‘negative’ version is more realistic and so that I should pay attention to this version.

I will continue with this point in further blogs

 

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Its New, Its Complicated, Count Me OUT! – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 548

STOP

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I have never done something, that that means I will never do it, and that I have accepted and allowed this thought and belief to influence me within my application of myself in reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move into a point of giving up quickly while I was walking the process of exploring the potential of incorporating a new point into my life where my basic default program within me was “I have never done it so that means I will never do it”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distrust anything new, and overall exist within a belief that “it will never work out”.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, and understand how extensively I have limited myself through by avoiding new things where one excuse I have accepted and allowed myself to use as a justification for not really taking on new points or introducing new points or systems or processes, ect, into my life is because “Its Complicated”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as inadequate when it comes to the point of ‘complexity’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up when ever I am taking on  or exploring a new point and that point starts to move into the realm of complexity or being  ‘too complicated’ where then I will just give up, thinking, believing and feeling that, “it will never work out”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an emotionally reactive state of experiencing ‘discouragement’ and ‘hopelessness’ when ever I am walking a new point or any point for that matter but often with new points as well when I start to perceive them as ‘complex’, and so then thus within this ‘experience’ that comes up within me I just go ahead and give up instead of following through, and so thus have accepted and allowed myself to place my trust in a feeling/experience that come up inside me in relation to the point of incorporating something new into my life particularly when doing this, the points enter into a realm that I have defined as ‘complex’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a very low threshold for the point of complexity where as soon as something in my reality start to remotely resemble ‘complexity’ I will react within thinking, believing, feeling like ‘I can’t do it’ and so will just give up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up when ever I am faced with the point of complexity which is basically the point where there is something that has multiple dimensions involved and so here I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid complexity because I see that it is not a point that I have a program for so to speak. And so thus I see that I require to reprogram myself so to be able to take on and handle and direct tasks/points that I previously would have shied away from due to having defined them as too complex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define complexity as a bad thing where when ever something in my reality starts to fall into the category of ‘complexity’ I actually then relate this to be an indication that ‘it is bad’, or ‘negative’, or ‘not for me’, or ‘ineffective’, or ‘of no benefit to me’ and so within this I see that I have actually limited myself extensively through by never really allowing myself to walk through points that I define as complex which could be anything from getting a new job, to doing online banking and where ultimately the point here is that I see that I will often give up quickly when faced with what I define as a complex task, often dismissing it as ‘unimportant’ or of ‘no value’ to my life not seeing, realizing or understanding that in fact I am accepting a limitation and that many things/points that I define as complex could in fact be of great use to me within my life that I am in a way brushing aside due to a programmed response that I have integrated into myself that now activate and direct me when ever I reach that point of where something starts becoming to complex.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see myself as capable of handling complex tasks where what I have done is rather I have moved so quickly into the point of giving up, that I have never really allowed myself establish an effective application within and as myself within directing what I define to be complex tasks

I commit myself to assist and support myself to embrace doing complex tasks because I see that many of these can actually be of benefit to my life.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to identify when my preprogrammed response behavior active within my life/myself  when ever I am facing/walking a point that I define as ‘complex’ and to within this to when ever I see this point activate to take a breath, and no more accept and allow myself to fall into this pre-programmed response behavior that I see, realize, and understand to be an actual Self Limitation but to instead Re-Define and Re-Program myself in such moments to in fact remain directive and patient within myself and to allow myself to actually walk through the points, no more accepting and allowing myself to deny certain points/aspects within my life because of having never really developed an effective application to approaching and directing myself within and as points which I have categorized as ‘complex’ because of also here having seen such tasks/points as ‘more than’ me.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to when and as I see that a point in my life is complex that to instead of going into reaction and thinking “its never going to work” to instead, take a breath and assist and support myself to remain stable within a point of patients realizing that not all things happen instantly and so here give myself the opportunity to move through complex tasks that may simply just require more of a time commitment to see through to the end.

 

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Emotional Turmoil Experience – Self Corrections (Part 2) – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 444

This is a continuation of the following blogs

Emotional Turmoil Experience – Self Corrections – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 443
The Fear of Going From Heaven to Hell – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 441

When and as I see myself starting to “think back” within myself about my past jobs and in this start ‘seeing’ myself again doing such a job as a future projection I stop and I take a breath and I bring myself back here. I realize that I have created a negative association within myself towards my past jobs and that I have also created a positive association to doing other types of jobs where the point here is to realize that such positive and negative associations was created within the context of my pre-programming as my preferences, likes, dislikes based on conditioning from my environment. I see that I cannot trust such programming and so in such moments when I see myself starting to think about past jobs and future jobs within the context of positive and negative energy/associations/charges, I stop and I breath and I bring myself back here. I commit myself to assist and support myself to work on practical living in my day to day reality where I place my focus on what is here in my world that I can and am able to practical direct in the most effective way possible essentially here assisting and supporting myself to rather than think and participate in my mind about positive and negative judgements towards work/jobs to instead Direct myself to Live HERE in the Physical in my current reality moment, assessing each moment within the context of being practical and Self Directive from the perspective of utilizing each moment as an opportunity to assist and support myself to  become more practical in my living and assisting and supporting myself to make decisions and live in a way that is best for all.

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Destined For Failure – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 440

loss

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am not capable of directing my life particularly within the context of career and money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to within the idea/acceptance that I have created that I am not capable of directing my career/financial stability effectively to in this go into an experience of feeling disempowered and defeated and essentially end up living out this accepted belief in actual reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a consistent state of uncertainty, turmoil, and disappointment within myself because I believe that I am not capable of actually making any decisions that is in fact best for me within the context of work/job/career. And so basically experience myself as a failure every day which obviously has an impact on my functional effectiveness within my reality, because I find this experience becomes so much that it completely overwhelm me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself live under the assumption that I am actually not capable of making effective decisions regarding my life and in particular regarding career/money/job and so am in a kind of constant doubt within myself towards the decisions I have made and am living or am going to make or will make in the future, essentially creating an instability and anxiety within myself that I have just come to “learn to live with” because I feel as though “its just the way it is” and “I don’t see it changing any time soon” and “I don’t have the ability to change”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see it as a “safe bet” to underestimate myself because then in this way even the tiniest things that work out in my favor is like a kind success to me and so in a way by underestimating myself I never really “fail” because I never really try, but ultimately I completely limit myself within my expression and capacity because I will never really set challenging goals and go for them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just assume that everything I try will fail, this way I won’t have to be let down when/if something fail because in a way my expectation was failure to begin with so its not like “I got my hopes up”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “assume failure” as a way to not get my hopes up and thus protect myself from the eventual fail which I kind of expect to take place.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to trust myself within my life and within the decisions I make in my life to have the results that are practically affective and so this then gets back to me doubting my practical assessment of reality which is like a form of “doubting the math”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the only way I will have success in my life is to work more and that is the only way, and so have formed this experience of dread towards my daily living because I fear spending all my time just working so that I can have success in my life in terms of career and job where I have come to believe that this is the only way, and the way that I will achieve this without stopping to ask myself or investigate why I have come to believe that this is the only way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must stretch myself beyond my means to have success in the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly fear that “I am not doing enough”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my current job where its like I just generate doubt and doubt and doubt within myself towards this job, which ultimately create such an experience uselessness within myself towards my job that it makes it difficult to go there and perform effectively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my practical assessment of reality where I do not trust myself to make a practical decision in relation to establishing financial stability within my life and so end up doubting every choice and decision I make

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to overcomplicate my current Job, instead of just sticking to the practical walking and application of the job and trusting this process to have the results if I simply be consistent within my application. I have done the math, now it is time to simply walk and ensure I am walking the basic time requirements to ensure the proper outflow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I just don’t have what it takes to make practically effective decisions about my life that will result in financial stability and so naturally am skeptical of every decision I make where I define it as “a lie” or “short sighted” or “self interested” or “destined to fail”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my life is destined to fail and so spend my hours running around attempting in fear to outrun this ‘destined failure’ which create quite an experience of anxiety allot of the time where I am living in paranoia of suddenly things falling apart, as if “this is just destined to happed” due to me believing that I am incapable practical effective decision making.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have placed the point of my reality being stable and effective within the context of money “out there” where its like some point that will only exist somewhere in the future where I am in this implying and accepting that this is not something I see myself or expect myself to be capable of doing here and now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be surprised when a point actually work out in a way that I define as good, because I tend to assume that this never happens and so really approach all situations from a skeptical point of view, assuming they will fail or not be good decisions defining and seeing this as the norm.

I will continue opening up this point in other blogs.

 

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