Opening the Gifts of Everyday Life – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 821

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Opening Up A Moment.

What does it mean to open up a moment and get the most out of a moment?

This is the question and process I will be exploring in this blog to assist and support myself to substantiate a recent realization that came through with regards to how I can practice and refine my Living Expression so I can get the most out of myself, my life and what is here.

 

And this a Key – ‘What is HERE’

 

I find that I have the tendency to overlook what is right here as my life and to also Judge what is here where I judge my life and how it is, and what I have, my environment, my job, my relationships, my hobbies, my routines, ect. I judge everything seeing and thinking it is just not good enough, that ‘there is nothing there’ that it is boring, that its wrong, or broken, or not enough, and then I go through each day and it becomes a struggle in a way.

 

When I do this, I start looking ‘out there’ I start looking at and desiring something else, something more, something better.

 

My question is however…

 

When I do this, when I judge myself and my life in this way, am I preventing myself from seeing what is really here and so preventing myself from receiving the gifts of everyday normal life.

 

This has been a shift that I have been practicing of late.

 

Receiving the Gifts of Everyday Ordinary Life.

Essentially, extracting the fruit of the moment.

 

Though I have been practicing this process, I’d say at this stage that this entire process or concept is largely a Realization that I have still to actualize and Live and Express for real within my life, though I have began this process and have began settling down more in day to day life.

 

So lately I have been practicing Focusing on What is HERE in the moment to moment of my life. It makes a lot of sense to do this, and that instead of trying to go out and find a new life or new relationships, to actually FOCUS ON WHAT IS HERE as the Relationships, Points, and Processes that I am already engaged in and look at where I am not getting the most out of the Life that I have already created for myself.

 

And to dig into the moments more.

I see I can bee more engaged in the relationships that already are here but that I have kind of not tended to or participated in.

 

That is not to say that I shouldn’t go ahead and open up new relationships or points or processes. Its more a point of embracing what is already here to its Fullest instead of resisting it, judging it, and pushing it away.

 

So this has to do with realizing the Gifts of Everyday Life, where now I can redirect my focus to HERE and to getting the most out of each moment instead of thinking I need this great grand life or experience to have fulfillment, and to rather Extract from the Ordinary to create the Extraordinary from what is simply here.

 

For me I have had a tendency to expect the worst and to assume that I am messing everything up and that my life is falling apart because there is something not right or there is something I am doing wrong. So this is another point I see is important for me to adjust within myself and for me to rather Embrace the Successes in my life. This is something else I have been working with. I have been working on Celebrating my life more. And Honoring what I have created as my life at the moment. And practicing letting go of that paranoid anxiety that I sometimes allow to take me over to the point where I end up living in fear that everything is all wrong and will fall apart.

 

This Is also connected to Slowing Down which is the Words that I am utilizing to support in this process of stepping out of my anxious paranoia that I am somehow fucking everything up, and to rather embrace and acknowledging my Life and what I have created, allowing myself to See the Good also, instead of always just seeing and focusing on the bad.

 

So moving forward my direction will be to embrace what is here, embrace the moment, embrace the ordinary and to open up the moment, open up the ordinary and see what is here. This way I don’t have to go out and try and find some miraculous moment or over the top experience to experience some sense of fun and fulfillment within myself, but to rather work with what is already here in every moment which is actually quite cool because it takes the pressure off where I can now Look into the Ordinary and uncover the Gifts and Gems of Everyday Life and acknowledge and Explore this Potential that Everyday Life is a Treasure to Behold.

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Simply Sharing – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 788

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Here I am going to SHARE a bit of my Life Process with you today.

First thing is, I slept in in the morning. When my alarm went off I allowed the resistance of getting up to overwhelm me and so I made the decision to just sleep until I am not tired anymore. I make my own hours for work, so it wasn’t like I was ‘late’ where someone else is counting on me. So in a way there was a kind of “backdoor” there for me justifying why I could and so will sleep in. Yesterday was a bit tough for me and so the sleeping in this morning was kind of residual point from yesterday. Once I got up and got to work, I was satisfied and it was nice to be at work and just able to focus on that. Due to unforeseen circumstances, I ended up cutting my day short. I had a bit of reluctance to do so, seeing as how I was already late, but I decided practically speaking its just how things were working out.

The amount of hours I work each week is quite a point for me where it is something I think about a lot. And something that can at times create a bit of turmoil within myself if I am not living up to the standards I have set for myself. So for instance, today it was important for me to not stress out about the fact that I was late getting up because that just creates unnecessary stress after the fact. Something I have been working on over this last year, where I practice “letting go” and not stressing myself out over work and money.

Once I got home I decided to work on my painting for a while. This was also a way I could “get a full days work in” The painting is evolving interestingly. There is definitely still a “feeling out process” taking place and I notice that that tends to create a resistance where its like “If I am not quite sure what or how I am going to paint the next part” I am more resistant to “getting down to work” but I have defined that experience quite clearly for myself throughout the years so can recognize that experience and not allow it to direct me.

Later in the evening I decided to turn the internet OFF on my phone so that I would stop checking it. My Starting Point behind this was so that for the rest of the evening I could practice simply “Being HERE” where I could Substantiate My Presence more instead of allowing the phone point to distract me every 5 minutes where I am checking my notifications. So instead, in those moments-in-between, instead of sinking into my phone, I just sat there, in my reality, in the physical, and just focused on Myself , My Presence and my immediate reality. Overall Supportive.

Then I ate chicken alfedo pasta for dinner that my partner made. Then I did the dishes and made us coffees.

That brings me to now where I am here writing this blog based on the starting point of simply SHARING MYSELF.

Okay thats all for tonight – Movie Time! – We are watching “Silence”

A Balanced Expression of Success – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 702

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I find it hard to relax sometimes. I feel like I must just go, go, go. “I have to be doing something”. I have noticed this week that I have been quite high strung in the evenings to the point of feeling irritated very quickly at various things. Its like I just have to be doing something to be moving forward in my life. To be creating success in my life, to be making my life work.

So here is a question – What does it mean when my life is working? What am I striving for? When will I be at a point where I will say “Okay, now I can relax, I have made it”

Is it possible to experience some peace in my life right now?

What is this experience of peace that I am after?

One point that I see happens with me allot is that I will create projections within my mind of my life in the future. And then I start to strive towards that future, but, then I end up investing to much into that ‘projected future’ because I start to judge my current life and what is happening in real time because my current life no more seems to be on the path towards my ‘projected future life’.

So I can see one reason why I feel stressed allot is because I want my “future life” to be here already dammit. And that creates a stress because things aren’t here immediately but will require processes to walk and will require much real-time walking.

So how can I be satisfied, fulfilled, and relaxed with the life I have at the moment?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry constantly that my targets and goals will not be reached or achieved, where this constant worrying creates an energy build-up within me which causes me to be highly irritated, because within my mind, I am at the same time, doubting my goals and targets can be reached, while at the same time, am in a kind of agony waiting to see if they either will or will not come to be.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create my own inner turmoil and agony in relation to wondering if my targets and goals will ever be realized.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define success as the reaching of my targets and goals and not allow myself to realize that there is many paths or potentials that could unfold as time moves that could also be a success, and so its not necessary to stress so much about reaching the specific targets and goals I have set for myself. Also I see that there is more to ‘success’ than just one goal way in the future. What about my day and all the various moments within my day where there is different interesting things happening and moments to express, explore, create, and expand myself.

I commit myself to re-assess my goals and targets daily so that they can shift and change as the parameters and conditions of my life shift and change.

I commit myself to stop defining success as a single goal way in the future somewhere but to also expand this definition to include my day to day, moment to moment living where there is as much potential here to expand, grow, and express myself in a fulfilling and success way.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to remember to breath. To direct myself to inhale and exhale and for a moment be here with my breath as a point of directing myself to slow down as a point of supporting myself to remain balanced and stable within remembering that I am HERE in this moment, and there is so much here in the moment for me to explore and express within, while at the same time, also planning ahead effectively and making sure I do have plants, targets and goals.

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