In my recent blogs I have been opening up the mysteries of “Patience” and looking at what stories I have missed and how I can create myself to be more patient within myself and my life. I ended off my last blog looking at the dimension of “Personal Patience” which I see as where patience is lived within self on a fundamental level of self and isn’t so much related to external points, such as for example being patient when starting new projects or when walking towards ones external life goals.
For myself I have noticed a tendency for me to always be looking at or thinking about “how my life could be better” and also how I could make more money or achieve more external successes where this kind of preoccupation has become a kind of obsession in a way.
Why am I so driven to achieve these external successes to the degree where I experience a desperation, essentially feeling like I am missing something without them?
So this is why I have here been looking at this word Patience on a more personal level or would like to explore this a bit more. Like how do I walk/live patience each day?
When I am at home, when I am communicating with my partner, or someone else, when I am doing the dishes, reading a book, walking to my car, driving, listening to music. Am I impatient within these tasks as well? How about when I am writing a blog? Am I patient with myself.
Last night I did get a bit flustered at the end of my blog where I felt a bit hasty at the end.
So perhaps this is where I could focus my application of Living and Integrating this word Patience into myself and life more. I can focus my application on my day to day, moment to moment of who I am as this word Patience. And here I can practice walking Patience in ALL moments in my life, not just in the big projects or opportunities that open up. But here I can investigate how to Live Patience from moment to moment, breath by breath, because I can see there is multitudes upon multitudes of moments where ‘Patience’ can be lived. Ultimately the moments seem infinite.
To Live and Express this word as myself is to ‘take a moment’ and settle down, and breathe, when I see myself becoming anxious. And this is definitely a key indicator of Impatience, when I notice that flare of anxiety flowering up within me. Here I can take a breath and settle Myself back into my Physical Body so that I am settled and calm and GROUNDED in relation to what ever point is causing/creating the anxiousness. And What ever point I am facing/walking in the moment.
So here I do see these 2 experiences, where when Patience is where I am STILL, and Settled and GROUNDED within myself, and centered. And Impatience is where I go into anxiousness or restlessness.
So here I can practice creating and directing myself into and as this Grounded, Settled, Centered, and STILL experience/stance within myself as I walk/live moment to moment.
So I have some DIRECTION with this point and with this experience that initially started off these investigations into patience where I found myself Rushing at work a few days ago wanting to just get everything done already where this rushing and FORCING things actually caused a strain on my Physical body, and so here I am after walking through some dimensions of this point to here where I am moving forwards and remembering in a way to implement and practice Living the word Patience more in my moment to moment life.
Now another WORD that is coming through here that I can explore in blogs to come is related to this word patience and I can see more specifically in relation to just wanting to have all my projects complete and done already and just wanting to know if everything is going to work out or not is the word COMPLETION. Or even the word CONTENT because yes, I am often busy pursing my external and even my internal life goals and within that I can practice living this word PATIENCE, but also to consider how at times I am driven by an experience of lack, of feeling like I need to arrive somewhere or that when I have gained this or that, then I will be satisfied and complete and then I can rest and take my time. So here the points I see is Living Completion and being CONTENT in each moment. So this is something I will explore in blogs to come or perhaps within my own writings I do in my notebook.
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