Okay so seeing as how this is the last day of the month, I am going to do a bit of a review of how things have been going with me in my process of Self Change From Awareness to Actual Change this past month. Well a couple things I have started doing is I began a 30 day Yoga challenge as well as also doing a 30 Days “Nail Care” Challenge which for me is a ‘biggie’ because I have been chewing my nails extensively since as far back as I can remember, so basically this means ‘no chewing my nails’.
I decided to walk these challenges as a point of supporting myself to change my daily routine and daily habits into something where I am getting more out of myself and my life. My approach here is to work with some ‘smaller points’ and build some consistency, trust, and confidence with these points to support me in taking on the larger points.
What has happened with me is that I have been working with larger issues throughout my process that I see as “failures” or where there is a lot more emotional and reactive points involved in these ‘larger issues’ and so from a certain perspective I have kind of destroyed my confidence by attempting to take on these larger points within myself with little to no change and so walking these 2 challenges is a way to ‘start small’ and work with some points that I am more confident with, that don’t have as many emotional or reactive layers so that I can develop some Trust and have some Success with walking and following through on points of Self Change.
The process of stopping chewing my nails is an interesting one because it is very much an energetic pattern that I have developed through the years where the chewing of the nails is a form of anxiety ‘release’ where I just kind of channel my experience into chewing my nails. So Recently I have been disrupting and changing this daily habit by no more accepting and allowing myself to chew my nails. I find I go to chew my nails between 10 to 15 times a day, so with this 30 day nail care challenge that gives me 10 to 15 moments throughout each day where I with awareness make a decision to change a particular bad habit and transform it into a moment where I simply allow my nails to GROW and here also Allow Myself to Simply BE HERE without going into the anxiety experience within chewing my nails. So here I am practicing stopping myself from habitually going into an energetic experience which I am used to doing multiple times every day.
The Second Challenge is the Yoga Challenge. I do this once a day for 10 to 15 min. I have a habit of when I get home from work to sit on the couch where I have my computer and will at times end up spending more time there then is actually supportive and so with the Yoga it is a time usually during my evening where I am “GETTING PHYSICAL” because when I get home and want to relax after work that there is a tendency to allow myself to kind of sink into my mind a bit and so the Yoga practice has been a point of doing something Physical and spending that time with my Physical Body. So the Yoga Challenge is a point of Developing a Relationship to my physical body in a new way.
So far I am grateful I have endeavored to walk both of these challenges and I can see how even these new points in my day, even though they are small, are actually Real Moments where I am disrupting and changing a pattern and so Changing Myself which is quite cool. I am only about half way through each Challenge so will continue with these and monitor the feedback in terms of if these changes are making any difference in my ability to actually deal with more substantial points in my life which from a certain perspective I can see how they would, though I still must walk these processes more completely to really test this point.
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