Orderly : Neatly and Methodically Arranged
Tonight I asked my partner to in a moment come up with a word that she sees as something that I would benefit from if I were to live and integrate such a word into my life. After some negotiating for her participation she arrived at the word ‘ORDERLY’.
I actually wish I was more orderly. More “neatly and methodically arranged” which I have been working on somewhat lately but it is something that is definitely not at the top of my awareness.
In fact I would more describe myself as
Fly by the seat of my pants
So I am going to continue in this blog with some Self Forgiveness to further open up this relationship I have to the word Orderly/Disorderly
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define ‘orderly’ as ‘just not my style’
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go through bouts of orderliness but then always fall back into disorderliness where I just can’t seem to “stay on top of things” and process my tasks and my life to keep things orderly and maintained and methodically arranged.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look at my desk and think “what a mess” and within speaking this statement experience a form of helplessness within myself where I “wonder how things got this way” where I can no longer keep my desk and working spaces orderly and methodically arranged and in this feel disempowered to be able to do anything about it.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to focus my orderliness onto only a few points in my life like in my artwork but not extend that orderliness to anything outside of that artwork.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I simply cannot be orderly that “its just not me” despite a point within me where I would like to be this way and understand how this would benefit me in my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to often feel so “behind the eight ball” that I just can’t catch up to my life and so just feel rushed and within this never take the time to establish systems as expressions of myself to support myself to be more organized and orderly.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to often experience anxiousness in relation to my life where I feel like things are moving to fast.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to put the time in to order myself and my life where I see that this for instance doesn’t even mean I have to put in a lot of time but where I rather take that extra moment or moments through my day to properly direct points into orderliness instead of for instance just getting home throwing everything in a pile and then “doing what I want to do”
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to often experience an annoyance towards Directing myself to be more orderly and organized.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make the decision to exist within anxiousness where I will just arrive home and throw my things in a heap because I just want to get to relaxing instead of directing myself and my life into orderliness which I see would have a more beneficial consequence on myself and my life. So here I see I would actually have to Create a NEW Habit in my Life and so to do this Let go of an old habit which means transferring time out of an old habit into the new habit of Living the Word Orderly.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not LIVE Orderliness within myself. Something that I have actually wanted to create and express in my life but have accepted and allowed myself to live by emotions and desires to “just relax” instead of Directing Myself in Principle to Create my life into its utmost potential.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to Live in Anxiousness and allow this anxiousness to direct me to just rush through my day to day living instead of directing myself to create more orderliness in myself and life through slowing myself down and doing what I know is actually best for me which is to spend that extra time creating more orderliness in my life which I see I can do by taking points in my life “A little further” where its not even a matter of doing a lot more but just taking that extra bit of time which I refuse to give to myself, to do something that would be beneficial for me and within this actually creating a new behavior and pattern of Support to replace my pattern of hoarding any ounce of time I have for “What I want to do” or to just indulge in mind/old patterns that are of no benefit of me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist creating orderliness within my life because that means I will have to give up “spare time” and basically instead of just wasting that time, actually utilize myself as that time and put it/myself to good use.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to see, realize, and understand that those “spare moments” that I am trying to save by just dumping all my stuff in a pile instead of organizing and directing it, is time that I am actually just wanting to use to support me to remain in limitations and preprogramming as my preprogrammed comfort zones that I have created for myself which take absolutely Zero Effort to exist within and so instead of me Moving and Creating myself and my life in each moment and in this case Create Myself as and LIVE something that I actually see would be cool to live such as ORDERLY, I rather forgo self creation for self indulgence where id rather use that time for ‘relaxing’, and so here I commit myself to assist and support myself to introduce a new life pattern and expression within and as Living the word ORDERLY which I can begin doing in these moments that I have identified here in this blog where I see that all I would have to do is take a bit of extra time or time out of self indulgence or old habits which do not support me where I am really not being productive anyways and shift this time into Living and Developing this new habit Skill and Expression of Orderliness.
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