Today I was looking at the word “Sedation” and how this word is currently existing within my own life in terms of how and when I see myself actually Living-out this word as going into, or participating with/within my reality in a way where I manifest this outcome of “Sedation”. Writing a blog, is Not an activity perpetuating this word “Sedation” within myself/my behavior/my life. Writing a blog is Self Directive and requires attention and self movement. In a way “Sedation” begins first as Distraction, and then you follow the distraction and become pre-occupied, and then snap yourself back to HERE, but then notice another distraction and then follow that, and I have noticed that if I do this enough times, I start to become comfortable in that distraction state, and then from there in going deeper into the distraction ends up as a kind of Sedation.
So Why does one have this tendency to not only want to distract oneself but actually move into this Deeper Sedation Experience.
Okay, now here I am noticing the MIND coming in.
The Judgements, the backchats in relation to how I have existed in this word Sedation in my own life.
One of the Judgements/Reactions is Fear. Fear that I will never get out. And that I will allow behaviors that are not bringing the best out of me and essentially Living a Fulfilling Life.
Because the ultimate question is simply – Am I Satisfied with myself?
And here I am not talking about where you are only satisfied with yourself if you are like the CEO of some multimillionaire company or president or like some super human achiever in this world. I am talking about a more Simple Satisfaction. Like Satisfied with your Day, that you worked on the things you wanted to, that you made your mistakes and forgave them…because I do see that “being satisfied” could still exist within a point of also having made mistakes, or making mistakes. Its a possibility.
So If I ask myself this question and the answer is No, I can look at my reality and look at the parts of my reality that contributed to this answer, because I do see here that this will encompass those parts of yourself that you are kind of on the fence about. Those parts of yourself that you Tell yourself you are okay with or that you can ‘manage’ but ultimately when you ask yourself “Am I Satisfied With Myself” those ‘on the fence’ parts of you or those parts of yourself that you have been tolerating and thinking “you can live with” will come up. At least that is something that I am noticing right now. So this can be a cool marker of what to cut out and what to keep.
So perhaps this would be a cool benchmark question to ask yourself a few times a day. Or once in the middle and then once in the evening to sort of give you some feedback within yourself of what of you really Do want to change about yourself and no more just want to continue tolerating and allowing and just not finding that deeper reason to see that change through. Because that is something I have struggled with definitely. I will decide to change something about myself, but then after a while I forget my reason of why I wanted to change that point and then I will stop the whole change process – Though I do see this point of Being Satisfied with Self as a Cool Marker for what to leave and what to change where this point of Being Satisfied With Self can be that Deeper Reason, because I do see this as something that would be cool. To be really Truly Deeply Satisfied with Yourself through and through.