Tonight is my last night visiting my hometown, I leave in the morning. In looking back at the trip, if there is one word that I would like to bring back with me to where I live, it is the word Stillness. I talked about this briefly in my last blog but one thing I noticed about being here back home, and being out in the countryside is that everything moves at different pace, There is not the busy rush of people moving about, going to their jobs and so forth, or at least, I am further away from that because I have found there to be a stillness in the natural environment here, and I have utilized this to support myself to slow down, and quiet myself down instead of being so busy busy rush rush. So this is a word Id like to bring with me when I go. Over the years I have written about this a great deal but have at times found it difficult to really integrate as a word I can LIVE in my day to day life, where mostly I find I just get caught up in the details and responsibilities and routine of my life and I end up seeking refuge more in my mind than taking a moment or some time for myself to just be HERE and just Breathe and be Still, like here, being out in the countryside, I can just look out at the trees and air and observe that stillness and quietness of everything. So I see that this stillness is something I am going to have to practice
Sound of the word Still
Steel (strong and stable like steel)
Till (tilling the soil)
So the first place I can practice this word is inside myself, and then to start to develop that word within myself and my mind because inside myself and my mind is where I see I first allow things to start getting out of hand and getting busy and cluttered, and overwhelming. I find myself often mulling things over in my mind, where there is a constant thinking process happening.
Aside from thinking there is my emotions, and that is where things become stirred up and my inner waters are stormy instead of being still and clear like glass. Each though, is like a drop in the water creating ripples. When I have lots of thoughts going on, it creates lots of ripples.
One of the main areas where I see I lose my stillness is when it comes to business, and making money, where I find this process of making money becomes so central to my day to day life that it becomes all-consuming and I get caught up in it and I haven’t yet found a way to actually support myself to enhance my stillness so to speak.
In asking myself the question – “What have I found over the years, to support me to develop that stillness of self?” The answer that came up is Writing. Consistent Writing. So obviously this is something to consider as a point of support in strengthening my Self Stillness as I continue to walk this next phase of my life.
I wonder if there is some other methods I could test out to develop my Self Stillness. Lol, I have thought a lot about cutting back on technology but then when that point came up just now, there also came up a little voice quickly after that saying “You’re never going to do that” That little voice I see is part of my Giving Up and Self Defeat Character, that part of me that believes that “I will never change” lol, so then that would be my “I will never change” Character. This has to do with seeing many points over the years, but not following through or disciplining myself consistently enough to really bring through substantial changes. Changes have been slow I have found, and so in a way I have conditioned myself over the years, to expect nothing new, or just expect more of the same of myself.
Alright, so going to see about bringing this word “Stillness” home with me, and I will see how things go this next week with integrating this word. Maybe it could be cool to update here in this blog how things go. If this word becomes something substantial and if it does, why? Or if I just let it disappear and if that happens, Why?
Okay that’s it for tonight.