So tonight I have been noticing myself going into a thought/reaction pattern in my mind so I am going to do some writing here as a point of grounding myself and stopping myself from just going into the reaction pattern.
At the moment right now in my life there is a bit of transition happening. And so within this transition there is some future points that are at this stage ‘unknowns’. I tendency I have noticed with myself is where I will start going into my mind, and thinking and worrying about these ‘unknowns’ and often going straight to ‘worst case scenarios’. So as I was sitting around this evening I began going into this particular vein of thinking and wondering and worrying and fearing about the future where I ended up getting carried away into the thoughts, into the imagination play-outs of what may or may not happen, and into the energetic experiences attached to these, such as fear, worry, depression, anger, frustration, despair, hopelessness, dread, anxiety ect.
Know as I am writing this, one thing I can see is that what I am doing is I am allowing myself to take the “unknowns” and basically running wild in my mind, playing out all the worst case scenarios, and getting sucked into these black hole unknowns.
So Here I am going to look at a word or some words that I can practice living to assist and support myself from allowing myself and my mind to take these future unknowns and basically using them as points to “run wild” and conjure up all sorts of fears and worries ect.
Firstly, I am aware that doing this does not support me, and I am aware when “the mind kicks in” and I take myself for a ride, instead of remaining grounded and Here.
Also whats interesting is the mind really wants to jump ahead into the future and try and ‘fill in’ or simulate what might happen in those future unknown spaces.
So here I realize myself that one way I can support myself to walk through this phase of my life is through by sticking to the moment. And really living the word Patience.
I do not want to jump ahead.
I want to remain here.
So, no jumping or skipping ahead.
I need a heavy weight to weigh me down so that I cannot jump or skip ahead, but that keep my eyes and myself firmly on the ground right where I stand.
So then this application of doing this, of anchoring myself in the moment and not allowing myself to go into a frenzy of imaginations, emotions, and thoughts in my mind, is related to living the words Patience, Groundedness, And Slowness, and embodying the SNAIL, to move sllloooooowwww like a snail. One moment at a time standing and walking in real space and time.
Space and Time moves Slow and this is where I want to be.
I want to be Equal with the moment as I walk this transition phase of my life.
I am going to look at the word ‘Affixed’ as a new word I can integrate into my life to support me in remaining stable as I walk this transitional period in my life.
In living the word affixed in relation to this point that developed tonight, means to be affixed to the moment. To be affixed and tethered and anchored to this physical reality and the moment before me instead of being disconnected from my moment and my reality and in my mind jumping ahead into the future into some alternate reality that does not exist. So I am going to practice living this word affixed.
Alright cool, this writing has also supported me to ground myself and affix myself back to my Real Physical Reality where I want to be. So perhaps I should change the spelling also to Aphix. The ‘ph’ representing the PHYISICAL Reality which is where I want to be.
Now one other point of awareness I am seeing here with this process of “not jumping ahead in my reality” is that I realize that I am already here. And so from this perspective I do not have to ‘affix’ myself to the physical reality, because I am already Here in and as this reality as my human physical body that is here breathing and blood flowing and heart beating in and as the physical reality. So for me, what I am seeing is that it is my attention that needs affixing. Where I align my attention to HERE and to and as my physical Self. So in terms of Living this word affix/aphix I see it more in relation to ‘my attention’ that I find still has a tendency to wander off, and so this affixing is also an aligning where I practicing aphixing my attention to the physical part of myself that is standing here and connected to already and existing as the physical reality.