Where Did My FLOW Go – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 763

dry-delta

 

A few days ago I wrote a blog post about the word “Flow”

A primary experience or point that has been coming up a lot in my life at the moment is feeling like things are just stuck and not moving or flowing. This point has been showing in different ways, but perhaps the most prominent area of my life where I was seeing/noticing it is in relation to money.

I can see that within my life I have formed an interesting relationship with money where in many ways it became a facilitator of my experience in a way where I was actually placing it as God of my experience because I had given it power and authority to determine my experience and well-being where I haven’t really been the Source of my own experience and expression but had rather made myself here very conditional to money.

I have been aware of this for some time, but what’s interesting is that I haven’t yet actually changed the relationship. I have only insisted that I change it, but what my Reality is showing me recently is that I haven’t in fact changed this relationship and re-created it…recreated myself in a way that is more aligned with being SELF Directive, SELF Empowered and SELF Creating. Where SELF is the starting point.

Over the last 3 years I have observed myself and my experience and how it existed as a buoy rising and sinking on the tide of money flowing in and out. So as the tide of money swells, so would my experience and I would have a very specific experience, feeling good with everything, empowered, strong, confident, I would feel like I have flexibility, and things are good, and I could breathe, and relax, and enjoy myself. Though if that tide was out, and money was low, I would feel, restricted, stressed, angry, grumpy, depressed, lost, trapped, desperate, inferior, weak.

And I have been telling myself that I must change this relationship. That I must take back my power in relation to who I am and how I experience and express myself in my life and that this should not be dependent on how much money I have. But I justified why I remained chained to this relationship. I justified why It would affect me. One reason being that “money is just one of this things” “Money is a ‘BIG’ point” so its not like you can just change that relationship overnight. This may be true, but I am noticing that it has been many nights, many weeks, months and even years, and I am still existing in this relationship of dependency with money where I have given it permission to affect and influence not only my experience but also my behavior.

Now bringing the point back to FLOW.

Like I said, I have been experiencing a lack of FLOW in my life. And I have been experiencing this in many ways in relation to money. And then recently I had another unexpected expense come up and man its like I was hit with a tonne of bricks, thus indicating just how much I am still joined at the hip to money, giving it total authority and power to control, direct, and influence me.

So I am here writing this blog as a Step in taking back my power here, and so thus no more continuing to accept and allow this toxic relationship that I have formed with money, where I have basically given it the keys to me, to direct and control me at every level where I am just a slave, and have no directive principle over my experience and behavior but that this is always ultimately determined by how much money I have.

So lets look at FLOW.

I have been noticing that as my money goes out, my self movement starts to slow down. I am less expressive, and also at times get to points where I start closing up, feeling restricted, and depressed, heavy, stressed, and waiting for money to flow back in so that I can feel empowered again and start expressing and moving myself.

So essentially as the money flows out, I stop moving myself. I stop moving and flowing in my own life.

The SOLUTION Here is to, as I have mentioned, to disconnect this relationship I have formed with money and so thus Take Back my SELF RESPONSIBILITY for myself and my experience and Behavior where this does not change according how little or how much money I have and this is definitely an important aspect as well; That its not just about changing your experience when money is low. It’s also about making sure that if for example you have a lot of money coming in, that again here, nothing changes about your experience and behavior.

So the Solution will consist of a few different points.

-Writing about the point to develop more awareness around it and the dimensions within it

-Writing and or Speaking Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment Statements.

-Self Change in a moment, where I move myself into the new behavior and out of the old

-Re-Defining and so then Exploring and Practicing the Living of the word FLOW in a context of where I can Live this daily where it is NOT dependent on Money but rather an expression of Myself.

Okay so what is Practical FLOW.

I was looking at this point again today as I was stuck in this experience of…..well, being stuck. And I was seeing this aspect of the word FLOW how I can LIVE this word FLOW practically, and that it isn’t determined by for instance how much money I have, which I have accepted and allowed to determine the flow of my life and my experience and behavior.

I see that Flow can be lived practically like for instance making sure the normal tasks of your life are flowing nicely. For me I noticed that in having connected my experience to money, and so also my expression of ‘flow’ to money,  that I wasn’t LIVING Flow naturally breath by breath, directing myself and my reality as a Self Expression, consistent and the same no matter what. I see It can be as simple as doing the dishes. That is a point of Practical FLOW in my reality, instead of allowing a build-up to take place because for instance being too depressed to want to do the dishes.

Or even with my artwork. I can see here I can support myself Practically to FLOW here simply by continuing to direct and move this point as well. So today I was seeing this dimension of PRACTICAL FLOW as the flow and movement of my physical reality where I can assist and support myself to focus on this practical flow as I support myself to correct my relationship to money, no more accepting and allowing this to influence my expression, my experience, my behavior, my FLOW.

In my next blog, I will focus more on this point and open it up further through the process of Self Forgiveness and Self Corrections.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s