The point here at the moment is ‘irritation’. I have noticed since getting home from work that things seem to be irritating me. I equate this to a few changes in some habits/routines lately where my mind is not getting the usual stimulus or the usual experiences it normally does so this irritation is a kind of symptom of withdraw from what its normally used to. But I also see that I actually tend to have days during the week where I feel irritated and highly strung where its like every little thing gets me irritated.
One dimension that I can see about my irritation experience at the moment is the ‘Time’ Dimension. What I am noticing is that tonight in particular I am feeling pressed for time. As I mentioned in my last blog, I have taken on a new project at work which requires more time to be put in at work as well as there being a tighter deadline for everything.
Today during the day, I did notice how I was giving more attention to the idea that “tonight I have a lot to do” So I was already thinking about this at work earlier, and when I got home tonight, my experience was similar – that I had a limited amount of time with a number of things that I needed to complete.
Today, I was also having the experience that I was behind in a couple things where I was participating in mental projections about this, and playing out in my mind, other peoples reactions to my view that I was late on a few things that I needed to get done.
So I can see how in participating throughout my day in these internal projections and playouts in my mind about how other people were reacting to my apparent lateness actually accumulate stress reactions within myself and so I am seeing my irritation tonight as an accumulation of all these accumulated stress points that I generated through participating within projections within my mind without awareness during the day/week
Okay, so I thought I would just open up a few dimensions to this irritation point for myself here in this blog to see more specifically what is happening and why I was suddenly experiencing this irritation for apparently no reason. Because there is always a reason for how we experience ourselves, and the fact that the ‘irritation’ seemed to come out of nowhere, indicated to me a perfect opportunity to learn something about myself and my experience that I wasn’t aware of before because if I was Self Aware, I wouldn’t suddenly be irritated ‘out of no-where’
I will often do this with point, where I will simply start with what ever experience is here in the moment, and I will start writing about it and opening it up as a basic way to develop self awareness and take Self Responsibility for Myself , My Life, and My Experiences and actually Empower myself instead of accepting and allowing experiences to ‘happen to me’ out of the blue and accept them as if there is nothing I can do.