I began a new project this week at work. The requirements of this particular project are a bit different than usual in that the timeline for completion is shorter. Over the past 6 months and really over this last year I have created this routine at work which consists of working only so many hours each day and each week, and I have stuck to that schedule quite insistently during this time-frame.
But now with this new project, I could see that in order to complete it that I will have to work a lot more hours, and potentially not take any days off until its complete which is very out of the norm.
I had some resistance moving within me when this project came up but I was clear within myself that I was going to do it and that I plan to complete it on schedule.
One thing I have been doing to support myself with taking on the extra workload is to focus as much as possible on the moment and day at hand, and taking it one day a time. I can see that if I start to think a lot about the future and the coming days that this creates an opening potentially for projections and resistances to build/ to be created.
Though, also, the idea that the project will only last so long is also something I have considered as a point of support. Meaning, I see, its not the norm, and so I can just do what needs to be done, and what I find is that the days, and weeks and months actually really go by quickly, so eventually the project will be over so I will just take it one day at a time, and that will add up soon enough.
Today was the 3rd day of the project and my new work schedule.
What I have observed about myself is that I am actually capable of handling the new workload. Yes, I am a bit more physically sore/tired after work, though, I can see how that previously I had been accepting and allowing myself to talk myself out of ‘working more’ when I am actually capable to doing it.
So if anything, I will use this project to test my limits so to speak, and see if I can actually do it and to really test if my apparently “Sound Logic” that “I can only work so many hours”, is valid or was in fact just a line of BS I was using to justify my own Limitation, which essentially reveals the question of why in the first place had I limited myself in the way that I was essentially refusing to work more hours at my job/career, but had kind of just been coasting for a while.
What I found was that I was actually quite stuck in my routine and I was in a way, aware that I was. So thus far, the new workload and new project has actually supported me to break out of those self defined limitations I was stuck within.
Its interesting how WORDS can contain someone.
Its interesting how we give words power over us.
Like for instance
“I can only work so many hours”
“Its better for my health if I work less hours”
“I don’t need to work more hours”
“I can’t push anymore, I am too tired”
All of these words was existing within me and I was participating and implementing these words many times each week and so also living out the same schedule every day and every week, that in reality was more aligned with a kind of passionless effort. Now that is not to say that I didn’t want to be passionate, or that I wasn’t attempting and trying to break out of my routine. But I just couldn’t, or that I just didn’t
So I will see how the coming days are with the new workload and take this opportunity to push myself which interestingly is refreshing. So I work more, and am more sore at the end of the day, yet experience myself more refreshed and even stronger, than when I was working less hours to apparently keep myself refreshed which in truth ended up cultivating a lack of inspiration and submission.
So, as I said, I will utilize this new work process as a welcomed opportunity to see what I am capable of and to push myself more and to support me in getting out of my old routine.