What is it that I would like to investigate and understand about myself right now. One thing I would like to understand more about myself is the deeper dimensions of myself/my mind. Recently I had an event take place where I created an idea about something within myself where this idea was based more on an emotional reaction/connection than actually looking at things objectively. What I noticed about this event is that it happened quickly and I for the most part trusted what was happening inside me, passing it off as a insight or clear idea of what was taking place.
I can see that I do this somewhat often as well. I will trust my inner experience without deeply investigating it and the event/moment it is coming up in relation to, to make sure I am seeing things clearly and directly and thus forming my direction according to that direct seeing rather than an emotional bias.
So this is something I see I can work on more. I can practice identifying those emotional biases, or when I speak in reaction and before I speak, have this quick moment inside myself where I see what I am going to say, or what I am wanting to say, and I accept it and speak, instead of in such moments, Standing within a Principle of taking responsibility for my words where I Make Sure that what I am about to speak is not coming from a personal bias.
So this is important. And to do this I see, that I can practice not engaging with, or connecting to, or going into emotional energy experiences in relation to the moments or conversations taking place in relation to me, and that if I do see that there is the slightest big of emotional movement within me that I can in those moments, really slow everything down and direct my attention and focus onto my physical body and physical experience/presence of myself that is simply Here, Grounded, Stable, and Consistent.
I see that doing this will require some discipline to stop what I have created into an addiction which is to speak from emotion, or speak from energy without in fact seeing, realizing, or understanding thoroughly where that emotions is originating from within myself.
I have noticed that an aspect of this is the belief that “I am right” and this experience of myself as “being right” I can see is quick to assert itself and almost desperate to assert itself. Where I will assert my position on something quickly without actually making sure that the words I am speaking are Clear and actually based on the principle of doing what is best for all and creating what will be best for all.
Okay that might seem a bit abstract but it was a point I realized for myself today, and I just wanted to place it into words as a way of supporting myself to really outline this point for myself so that I can better identify when and where I speak from emotion no matter how subtle, and it is also these more subtle moments where I do this, that I would like to be able to identify more clearly so that I can just develop that point of stability within myself more and so support myself to become more Constructive within my expression and communication where this can become something that is based on a principle of actually Creating the best outcome for all involved, and not something done from the starting point of just serving my own opinions or asserting myself as right even though I am not fully considering the moment or seeing the moment for what is actually taking place, because I am too caught up in my own emotions no matter how subtle, which disables me to be Clear, and see Clear, and Direct the moment before me without emotional bias so that my engagement with that moment then becomes something based on the Principle of Creating What is Best for All.
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