From Discourage to COURAGE – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 741

wolf-142173_640

Today my experience of myself was very akin to how I have been experiencing myself in this past year. When I got out of bed this morning and as I moved myself to get the cats food, I had the thought of how repetitive my life is. In that moment I thought about myself as being so ingrained and entrenched into a pattern/routine and how I don’t change it much. I created this idea within me that I will live this way for the next 50 years, or for the rest of my life or late into my life where I will just live a very stable and set pattern. I felt stuck. And I felt disheartened how things have become so routine and how I have stuck with that routine, almost like its ‘safe’.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see myself as stuck in a routine

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see and define myself as set in my routine

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel as though it will be difficult to step out of my routine.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to look at my routine and to think about how it will be difficult to get myself out of it, and then in relation to this thought, felt stuck, and also discouraged.

Discouraged

Dis

Scourage

Scrounge

Courage

Age

Raged

Scour

Disc

Ridged

sour

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel discouraged about my life lately.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel disheartened about my life lately.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel disempowered about my life lately, and think to myself that there is no point to try and change or improve myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself about who I am and how my life is going and how my process of change is going, where I feel like I am stuck and not changing and don’t know how to change, and so within this, just go into this point of giving up, feeling discouraged, and hopeless in myself and my life, thinking that I will never amount to anything more.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel really discouraged about my art where I seem to always think about how terrible its going and how horrible its going.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel deeply that I will never be able to bring my art into its full expression and bring myself into my full expression within art and also within my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to write anymore in my life because I feel like I am going around in circles with my writing.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live the word Discouraged and that I haven’t redefined for myself the word “Courage” as a point of Self Creation, in part because I feel like when ever I redefine a word, I never stick with it anyways, and so over time I have become discouraged, due to how things have gone so far.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Live the word Discouraged in relation to my correction of the word Discouraged into the word Courage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become discouraged within my process

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become discouraged about my art

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become discouraged about myself and my ability to Change and to align myself into a Life Form that is Aware, and that is aligned with What is Best For ALL and that is DIRECTIVE and Living to My UTTMOST POTENTIAL.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to embody the word Discouragement where I will for instance think about doing some art and then imagine a few different things that I could do, but then for some reason, don’t move myself to do it, where instead of moving myself to create some art I think “whats the point” “Its not a good idea” and that “now is not the time” and that “I will never stick with it anyways” and so I bombard myself with excuses and justifications about why not do art, telling myself it’s a bad idea, and then I hesitate and then end up in an experience of feeling Discouraged because I haven’t moved myself into this point, even though I think about it all day long.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the word Discouraged in relation to my art application, ultimately thinking “what’s the use” “it will not work out” and so then disempower myself instead of Directing myself to create art and develop the point for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about doing art all day long, but then when the time comes, talk myself out of it, or not move myself to do it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate when it comes to directing myself to do art and to expand my art application.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create Rage inside myself through not Living Courage as the Courage to actually Direct and Live to my Utmost Potential, where when I do not, I experience rage within and at myself for not doing what I see I would actually like to do which is to become more and support myself to Live to my Utmost Potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare my art expression with other people’s art expression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always think about doing ‘so much art’ but then never get to a single drawing, and then feel discouraged because within myself I see and believe myself to be capable of creating a lot of art.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that “I have to create a lot of art” and that is what will fulfil me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to prevent myself to doing art, and then eventually just feel depressed for not moving and directing myself to do more art, but then continue to hold back, where I hesitate and hold back much more than I go for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue to live out the word hesitation, where this word has become a primary barrier in me not standing up and becoming more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear standing up and becoming more, because I fear not following through.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to justify not standing up and becoming more through telling myself that “ I will never live it through” and make a full change in becoming more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Live the pattern of Discouragement which consists of the various routines and things I do now in my life which I will have to give up to walk and Live the word Courage is the Changing of these patterns of discouragement and the changing of myself to support myself to Live and Be More than I have accepted myself to be and to support me to Live to my Fullest Potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that if I move myself to stand up and become more that I will not live it through and just end up going back to how things were before.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to when a moment and opportunity comes up for me to stand up and become more, to in such moments, create a projection in my mind of me starting to change and become more, but then just giving up and going back to how things always are and then to in the moment or opportunity of potential change and expansion, use the picture projection of me ‘giving up eventually’ as a reason and excuse to not change and so here have created a system within myself to prevent me from standing up.

When and as I see myself accepting and allowing myself to create projections within myself about ‘how I will just give up eventually’ in relation to the point of Self Change or Daring to become more, I stop myself from participating and engaging with this inner projection as I see that this has been a way that I have prevented myself from becoming more, and essentially has become a part of how I have lived the word Discouragement where I Did not Live the Word Courage to face my fear of not pulling my  change through and actually move and direct myself to become more in moments and opportunities I see is here for me to do so.

I commit myself to stop existing within and as hesitation, and to rather stop all the back-chat excuses and ideas I have about myself in relation to doing art, and to rather commit myself to physically moving myself and Living the word Courage where I Dare to Become More in moments where the opportunity is here to do so.

I commit myself practice Living the word Courage instead of Discouraged, where in Living the Word Courage in relation to my art, I direct myself to Create Art and to become more where normally the routine and pattern is to do less, and to Live Less where I end up actually using my time for things that do not support me and in the end, end up experiencing discouragement for not applying myself and that has become the pattern, and so here I commit myself to assist and support myself to practice changing this pattern, and to Move from the pattern of Discouragement to the Living Pattern of Courage, where  do more and become more through creating more art instead of opting to not do it which is to live less. I commit myself to in such moments, opt to apply myself in creating more art and actually expanding myself and having the Courage to be More and to Stand within that application of ‘Being More’

I Commit myself to realize that to Create myself as the Living Application of Courage, I will have to give up and let go and walk out of the pattern of Discouragement which is the pattern of laying around and not really doing much with my time, and just sitting on the couch browsing the internet or watching movies, where now in Living the word Courage, I will have to forge a new pattern aligned with Living Courage as taking Direction and Action to apply myself to expand me which in the case of art means to actually get out my materials and engage within the process of creating art. This actually implies an entire new set of physical movements that I will have to establish as this new routine of Self Expansion and Living of the Word Courage instead of Discouragement.

Because right now, part of the ‘problem’ is that I don’t really have the courage to dare to Stand and Change and become more such as really committing myself to my art, and drawing, even in my spare time. Actually, especially in my spare time where mostly I would have wasted that time, and so now here I have been wanting to use that time more effectively but hadn’t and so now here I am committing myself to actually changing this pattern from a pattern of Living Discouragement where I end up in an experience of Discouragement due to not moving myself to now here move into a pattern of Living Courage, Changing the pattern through instead of not ‘doing more’ as in, doing some art, I now commit myself to rather do it and to utilize these moments, opportunities and time, to create and expand my art and have to Courage to actually go for it and Change this pattern of Discouragement to Courage.

So in relation to what I written, I am now going to redefine the word Courage for myself.

Courage

Car

Rage

Kerr,

Carriage

Carry

Carry Myself

Cure

 

So I know how I create discouragement. I create it by NOT taking action, by convincing myself Not to move using numerous excuses and justifications. And so I see here that To change this and to LIVE the word Courage is to in those moments where I normally talk myself out of taking action, which eventually just leads to an experience of feeling discourage, I rather in those moments, Live Courage. The Courage to Change the Patten of inaction into a pattern of action.

 

Its interesting in the word Courage I see the words Car and Carriage which to me symbolizes MOVEMENT and Direction. So to Live the word Courage is to MOVE Myself as I see that when I do not move I create Discouragement. So I become the CURE for my own DisCUREagement and I do this through Daring to Move and Direct myself in those moments where I can be/become more that what I have accepted and allowed myself to be.

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s