I have been facing this particular point within myself of existing within and as the word ‘Depression’. And what I see I have been accepting and allowing is that I go into this behavior of ‘giving up’ when for instance I am looking for something to do in my environment where I can see for myself that it is clearly a moment where I could either potentially find something to do to that would be supportive or where I could just do something that is more just a ‘time waster’.
So what I have been noticing is that when I am living the word Depression that I will tend to “give up on myself” when I am looking at something to do which includes potential points of support.
What happens specifically is that I will see something supportive that I could do, but then I will only consider it for a second or two before dismissing it within a point of ‘quickly giving up on myself’
So here I am going apply Self Forgiveness on this particular point.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Live the word Depression through by quickly dismissing support that I could give to myself in moments, where within existing within and as Depression, I will more easily dismiss moments of support.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into the energy experience of ‘not wanting to support myself’ and to not push through that experience of not wanting to support myself and to direct myself to support me which I see is best for me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to live the word Depression through participating within and as the statements “its not worth it” “its too hard” “whats the point, I am a failure” “fuck it” “its never going to work anyways” in relation to potential points and moments of support that come up throughout my day, where here I use these back-chat statements to re-inforce my position of depression which is an action where I am not supporting myself in a way that is actually best or good for me but am existing within ‘procrastination’ ‘laziness’ lethargy’ ‘self diminishment’ where I just slouch around and entertain myself and waste time, not really doing things that are in fact supporting me to Live to my Utmost Potential.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that “there is no point to supporting myself” believing that “it never works anyways” I see, realize, and understand that obviously this is not true, but that it may sometimes get discouraging when I am not supporting myself how I would like, but obviously giving up on self support completely is not a Solution but a point of giving up actually and also here contributing to the Living out and existing within and as Depression.
Therefore I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want a miracle change when I support myself, instead of just keeping it simple and practical where the obvious common sense is that doing something supportive, like writing when facing a moment where I am in a reaction is obviously more supportive than suppressing the reaction and just entertaining myself as a way to distract myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project “the results of self support” as a way to decide or determine if I will support myself or not, and within this create an expectation of what will happen, to which I speak the statement within myself “it will never work” or “I will never change” and so then decide not to support myself.
Rather here I commit myself to keep my process of Self Support Simple when I see that I am existing and participating within and as the word “Depression”, keeping it simple from the perspective that I do not need or require some kind of miracle change to support myself to stand up out of Depression, I just require to make one decision in one moment to support myself instead of neglecting myself. Its as simple as that, and then within accumulating these moments of making the decision to support myself instead of ignoring myself, I can stand up out of the point of Depression. So here I commit myself to keep it simple and to not project ideas of change but just stick to the common sense in the moment, that, “the only way out of the depression is to stand up and Live the word Support, instead if Neglect”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to influence myself through thinking that “I will never change” and to use that statement as an excuse to not apply myself in Self Support in moments.
When and as I see myself within a point of depression and facing a moment of potential change where I can move out of Living the word ‘Depression’, ‘Neglect’, and ‘Ignorance’ and into the Word ‘Support’ and ‘Care’ and when, in such moments I see the statement come up “I will never change” in relation to past actions/memories and future projections, as a reason why not to Live the words Support and Care, I take a breath within myself, and realize that I do not have to worry or think about changing from the perspective of if and how its going to work or not, I simply keep it straight forward – that it is more supportive for me to Support Myself than to neglect myself, and so I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to use this reasoning and justification that “I will never change” as a excuse to not support myself because I see here clearly that all that is required is a simple act of Support which is more beneficial than ‘doing nothing’, and so here I commit myself to just focus on one moment at a time, and stop any and all future projections and past memory playouts, and just stick to one moment at a time, looking at where and how I can support myself moment to moment. And so to within this Support myself to move out of the word Depression into and as the Word Expression, as I Express myself in Self Support and Care, where I am active in supporting myself to Live to my utmost potential.
I commit myself to also here assist and support myself to move myself out the ‘energy’ of Depression within and when I am faced with potential moments of support where here I commit myself to Live the Word Support through and as Physically moving myself through the Depression Energy which is a kind of resistance to supporting myself and actually putting in the effort, and so I commit myself to Direct myself to put in that effort to move through that depression energy into the act of Support and Care.
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