Today a point of awareness opened up within me through a conversation I was having with someone where I realized that what I have been doing with myself and my life is that I have been in a way holding myself back or holding myself down with various parts of my life because one point or part of myself and my life wasn’t working.
Basically, throughout my life process I have identified certain strengths and weaknesses that I have and that I have endeavored to transform those weaknesses into points of strength and support. And some of those weakness points have been quite challenging where it has been an up and down process.
Now, I have one point in particular which I have been working on for a long time and it is a point that I have identified some time ago as a point I would like to change or correct about myself. And then I also remember saying to myself that “If I can’t get this point, then nothing else matters” meaning, that I don’t care about anything else but changing this one point.
Within myself throughout my process of endeavoring to change this point, I was aware that to connect all other points to this one singular point where everything else in my life and myself is hinging on this one part doesn’t make sense. But Man, this one point, and the ups and downs within it, really affected everything about me.
So lately I have noticed that I was doing this again.
Where I just refused to work on anything else of myself and just focused all my attention on getting this one singular aspect of myself sorted out.
I see how this kind of approach could actually making changing or correcting that one point even more challenging because now everything in my life was dependent on it. So if I was struggling with it, that this means also that I struggle with other aspects and dimensions of my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to focus on areas that I struggle with, and ignore my strengths and areas where I am more effective, where I just focus only on where I am struggling and define myself and everything about me according to this one or a few points, and so debilitate myself within my life and expression, simply refusing to acknowledge areas of myself and my life that are effective and strong and stable, because I am so frustrated by my weaknesses, and points that aren’t yet aligned with my utmost potential.
I Commit myself to allow myself to take on other areas and dimensions of myself and my life and to develop them and grown them and apply myself within them, even though other areas might be more challenging and so I commit myself to develop points independently of each other from the perspective of where I stop just giving up on everything if I can’t get one singular point sorted out or where I want it to be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use one singular fall or mistake as an excuse to stop applying or moving myself in other areas of my life, and so create within myself a crashing experience where when one point falls, ALL of me Falls, when I see that its not necessary to do this.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to acknowledge any support or strength within me when I make a mistake with a particular point I have been walking now for a long time, where I have created this ‘absolute refusal’ to forgive myself for making a mistake on this point and so end up imploding, like a building collapsing in on itself where I have completely refused to consider there is another way to deal with mistakes, where a total self collapse and giving up on other aspects of myself that is actually still able to continue moving is not necessary.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give one single point in my life absolute power over me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to refuse to consider that I can grow and become stronger in other areas and parts of myself and my life as long as I am struggling on my one main point, and so just kind of give up on myself completely if my main correction process isn’t going as planned or as well as I would like.
I commit myself to as I walk my correction process with my main point, to also allow myself to move into and expand into developing other areas and other points of myself and my life instead of just shutting everything of myself down until I get this one main point sorted out, and so here I commit myself to within allowing myself to focus on and develop other parts of myself and my life independently where I do not make them contingent on the ups and downs of other points and so here I commit myself to also no longer use my main point as an excuse to not move or direct or expand myself in other areas of myself and my life like I had been doing.
I commit myself to see all points as equal where I stop giving one point more power than others, but to rather see, work with all parts of myself on an equal basis, stopping the focusing on just one part of myself as “thee most important” and so within this, neglecting other areas and parts of myself that are in fact just as important and valuable to develop and work on
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use one singular mistake as an excuse to give up on everything else as well, instead of realizing that this is not valid and that it is actually just an excuse to give into resistances that comes with Self Change, no matter what your changing, and so I commit myself to see, realize, understand that I use one mistake or mishap or fall to justify giving into unrelated resistance that is actually about other points that I am busy changing, and so here I commit myself to stop doing this, and to even if I make a mistake in one area of myself or my life, it doesn’t mean other areas must fall, crash, or stop moving, stabilizing, and expanding. But that I can continue on track with those points/parts of myself.
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