Hopelessness, and Not Really Doing Anything – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 731

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Recently I looked at my life and I looked at some of the primary aspects of my life and primary points I am facing as those aspects of my life and I looked at what WORDS was defining myself and my experience in relation to and as this. One of the words which came up was the word ‘Hopelessness’ and so now I will open up this point for myself within and as the process of Redefining myself so as to support myself to stop existing within and as the word Hopelessness and then end up having this be and become me and my life.

 

When I live the word hopelessness, I within this, allow a lot of procrastination. So within hopeLESSness, I am much LESS active within my physical movement, direction, and expression. I am more lethargic and moping around and not as eager or willing to pull myself out of my state of inactivity and depression and direct myself to express myself and create my reality with a sense of determination, strength, purpose, enjoyment, and passion are a few words that come up.

 

Within hopelessness I see that its like “I just can’t seem to find the will or reason to pull myself out of my state of inactivity, procrastination, and giving up. Its like I have lost all sense of willingness to express and create myself. And so I just exist within a state of hopelessness.

 

If you were to suggest or ask me if I wanted to do something, In hopelessness, I would look at both options and just say ‘no’ even if there was a glimmer of interest within me to do something.

 

I see this axis as an important point here within this redefinition of myself in moving from hopelessness to Hopeful. This ‘axis’ is that moment where I will see a point within myself or my reality where I want to express myself or where I had planned to express myself and then where I will either live the word hopelessness, which is a form of giving up, and then so, not bother to Direct and move myself to create and express, and direct me. Or I will direct myself within Physical Action to express myself and move myself within certain tasks or points as they arrive, and so become an active creative expression.

 

In Hopelessness, the ‘saying no’ is dominant when it comes to doing the things that I would actually like to do, or tending to those responsibilities that would be beneficial for me to tend to.

 

With hopelessness, a point will come up, and I will look at it, and think “its too much” or “whats the point” and there will be this experience, like this pit in my stomach where I will just feel like “its hopeless” and whats the point, and “its never going to work out”  or “its to hard” and “just not feeling ‘up’ for it”and so I end up existing in all these backchats and so then just shrug my shoulders and ‘do something else’ doing something easier, something which is more me just ‘passing time’ and not really expressing or creating myself and my reality which is what I would like to start practicing.

 

I listened to an Eqafe Interview today on “The Spark of Hope” and one of the points mentioned within the interview was how to live that “Spark of Hope” was to Act, and Physically Live. And so this is something that I here commit myself to start practicing instead of accepting and allowing myself to continue living out this primary experience that has defined much of my life as hopelessness, where there is just a general sense of “not bothering” and rather opting out than opting in, disengaging than engaging.

 

In HopeLESSness there is LESS action, and less doing. And in being HopeFULL, one is FULL of action and doing. So this is what I see a key is in this redefinition point of myself. Its not even so much based on ‘outcome’ on whether something will or will not work out, but rather, its more about Testing, Finding Solutions, and Supporting Oneself Actively through Self Movement and Physical Living to create onself and ones life.

 

Alright so I will leave it here for this blog, and continue with here, practicing this point of stepping out of hopelessness, as inactivity, and into hopefulness as physical action, movement, and self creation.

 

Journey To Life Blogs – Read the blogs from those walking the 7 year journey to life.
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime

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