Forgetting To Actively Change – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 730


I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want change to happen to me, or for me, where it is something that happens automatically, not seeing, realizing, and understanding that Self Change is something that I have to actually do in full awareness and be the primary directive within this. And that if I am not willing to stand within that point of commitment, then this to me indicates I didn’t’ really want to change.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want change to be easy, and not realizing that real change must be real change and so which requires a certain process or substance within it for it to stand as actual real change, and that I must be committed to walking and being that, no matter what it is and what is required, and if I am not, then I don’t really want to change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just hope that Self Change happens, where I for instance will make a commitment to myself of how I want to be and then kind of just continue on with my life how I usually do, not considering that any Self Change that occurs within and as myself is something that I must do for myself in full awareness and must walk in each breath as the testament of my actually wanting to change and my willingness to walk that change for myself step by step, day by day until it is HERE as Me that can be measured and not questioned or challenged, but is an actual Change that is HERE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, or understand how actively I must participate with and engage with Self Change to actually create it within and as myself.

I see, realize, and understand that for me to actually Change myself in areas and parts of myself that I am wanting to change, I must actually walk this change for and as myself each step of the way, carrying myself all the way through and as this change as the evidence that I do in fact want to change. If I say that I want to change, but then I do not in fact Walk the Change, then, I can see that my want was not Real, because if it was, I would have walked the Change and it would be HERE.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to Live Change as a daily action as the active engagement in the Self Change of myself in the areas that I have identified and specified and committed to changing about myself.

I commit myself to realize that each increment of change that occurs is an increment that I did for myself where I stood in the awareness of what I was/am doing, and got behind myself and pushed myself through and as that increment of Change where my full weight and awareness was behind and as this process of change and this increment of change that I moved myself within and as.

So this point came up today when I was looking at a particular point of change that I have been working on for a while now, that again was not coming through, and so in re-looking at what about this point I was not walking effectively, I noticed this dimension of where I will still ‘hope for change’ where it’s like there will be a ‘leap of faith’ taking place with my process of change instead of me making sure I walk every step for and as myself with awareness where I do not need a leap of faith, because I am actually walking the change in each breath and each moment and each day.

So I commit myself to realize, that self change is never something that just happens automatically or by itself without my direct awareness, attention, and direction, and I see also how, that willingness to see a change through all its phases and processes, where one is willing to walk that change through time until it is done, is a testament of ones actual Truth of their want within oneself to really change.


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