Imperfection And Patience – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 726

Recently I have begun giving more of myself to the process of “Living Words”. What I began doing is taking a word, defining it for myself in writing, as the instruction I am giving to myself in terms of how I will live and become that word in my daily life, and then proceed to Live the word in my life.

In writing out the definitions for myself, I have noticed that I have struggled a bit because I want everything to perfect, and then I end up becoming frustrated and thinking “oh that’s no good” or “that’s not the right word” and then just getting overwhelmed. So here I have decided to define myself a new living word to support me in my process here of walking the living word process as well as supporting me in my normal daily living.

So the word is ‘imperfection’ So in living the word ‘imperfection’ what I am endeavoring to do is to be more forgiving on myself as I support myself to live and become the word ‘Perfection’. I cannot expect myself to have everything perfect all the time, and I see that, I, a lot of the times become stuck within myself and will find it difficult to move myself through tasks, projects, writings, because of wanting things to be absolutely perfect where I will then think “its not good enough” and so just scrap everything or end up taking forever with things, and actually becoming quite emotionally reactive within myself in relation what I am working on because of my desire to have everything work smoothly and perfectly and where I am not more forgiving with myself which is where I commit myself to live the word “Imperfection” which is simply to be more forgiving with myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the emotional reactions of frustration and anger within myself in relation to different points, projects, tasks, writings, I am working on in my life because I think that “its not right”

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as the backchat statement “this is stupid” where I am really critical and hard on myself and my expression and application in my writings and other projects I take on.

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to give myself more leeway with my expression in writing and other projects where here I stop myself from going into emotional reactions of frustration and anger, but rather allow things to ‘not be perfect’ as how I want and try to enforce them to be.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be more forgiving of mistakes I make as I am busy learning something or working through things that I am not completely certain about yet.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define imperfection as a bad thing and have connected and attached a negative energy to it.

 

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to consider that living imperfection, depending on how I do this, can actually be supportive for me on my road to Self Perfection.

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not want to write when ever I have emotional reactions coming up because then I think that my writing is not working or there is something wrong with it, instead of realizing that during the writing process, where I have emotional reactions coming up, I am actually simply seeing different parts of myself and so that this is actually an opportunity to learn more about myself and expand my self awareness and so its not a bad thing if reactions come up while I write.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself to Live the word ‘imperfection’ from the perspective of where I stop reacting to my imperfections or mistakes that come up because I see that when I react to my imperfections or mistakes that I make, it only creates conflict within me and that is not supportive. Rather, I commit myself live imperfection from the perspective of when I see that I have made a mistake or when I am finding things aren’t turning out ‘perfect’ or ‘how I initially planned’ I in such moments, take a breath, and forgive myself and to simply direct myself to continue on directing myself to live to my fullest potential and to continue to refine and develop my applications where necessary until I am satisfied and stable within myself, and that its okay if this stability is not immediately here but is something I can work towards and create for myself.

 

I commit myself to live the word “imperfection” through by not accepting and allowing myself to be critical or harsh on myself when ever things aren’t turning out perfect. Here I commit myself to allow myself to move from imperfection into a point of Perfection which is to say to move from dissatisfaction into a point of Satisfaction where I am satisfied with my expression and so here I commit myself to when I am faced with moments of imperfection, or dissatisfaction I commit myself to remain calm and stable, and not become discouraged, and realize that things are never just perfect from the beginning but take time to develop and refine, and that if I just get frustrated and discouraged and  give up every time things aren’t turning out exactly perfectly I am sabotaging my opportunity to move from imperfection into a point of perfection which takes time and practice and refinement.

I also commit myself to allow myself to live the word imperfection from the perspective of allowing myself to make mistakes and not have things perfect all the time, and to be okay with that, realizing that I am supporting myself to become my utmost potential and just because things aren’t always perfect doesn’t mean I am not good enough, or that its necessary for me to go into an emotional reaction. And so ultimately the word I am really Living here is the word PATIENCE.

And so – I commit myself to LIVE and BECOME The Word PATIENCE which is to replace this word ‘imperfection’ because I see that PATIENCE is what I require as I move from imperfection to perfection where I am patient with myself and calm, instead of reactive during this process when perfection doesn’t just manifest immediately.

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