A question that occurred to me the other day is “who am I without my art”. Another question, which often comes up within me in relation to my art is ‘how do I add or create real value with it?’ I was feeling quite discouraged with this question today, and a point that has come up within me in relation to this question of value is WHO AM I within what I do?
You see, I do art, and I am often analyzing, and pouring over ways and methods and ideas to ‘add value’ to this activity and mostly I end up feeling defeated by this pursuit. And so this evening as I was looking at this again, this question came up of WHO AM I within what I do, where, that doing, is the art I make. Because what I see is that ‘what I am doing’ is irrelevant and not where the real value exists. What I am seeing in this moment is the ‘real value’ exists within me and who I am, ans what I accept and allow of and as myself each day.
I see that I have gotten away from this point of Myself being the real value I have to offer.
What I find happens with me is that I end up focusing on WHAT I AM DOING, which would be my art and my career and I forget about myself, I forget about taking care of myself and nurturing myself and strengthening myself both within and without, and I just put my attention on my art and try to make that great and I kind of push the art to the forefront while I move myself into the background which is actually what I prefer anyways because in fact if I look at why I prefer this, it is because I am not satisfied with myself and my application and so I just prefer to be in the background out of sight.
So Who am I without my art. If I strip this away, and pose the question of how do I add value I can see the answer.
I can add value by and through who I am as how I interact with this world moment to moment. Its strange because each day I get up and go out into the world and interact with my world and the people in my world and I am doing this 24/7. Yet this 24/7 interaction gets missed with regards to how and where I can actually contribute value to this existence. I become so obsessed with thinking about how I can contribute value with my art and I forget about me and I forget about the fact that I as a life form am connected physically to this reality every moment of every day and I am having an influence.
My art doesn’t go out and interact with various people a day like I do. And so ultimately I am seeing and realizing that I require a bit of an adjustment within looking at and considering ‘how to add value’ where what I see is that I can add value with who I am and how I engage and interact with my reality, and so it isn’t practical to push my art into the foreground and then for me to retreat into the background and supress my own dissatisfaction towards and with myself while focusing all my attention on my art as ‘what I do’ while dismissing and ignoring ‘who I am’ and how I am, or, am not supporting myself, and how I am experiencing myself for real.
So here I commit myself to assist and support myself get back to what I am seeing as the true source of my value which is MYSELF and how I direct and support myself day in and day out, and here I commit myself to daily strip myself bare of my art and ask myself who am I without my art, and who I am in each moment and each breath as I move and interact and engage with my reality and I commit myself to support myself to contribute value in these moments and this interaction through by first creating and supporting myself to value myself through supporting me to live in a way that I am actually satisfied with me, and then from here I see that I can start bringing this personal Satisfaction I have for myself into my daily life because my daily life is always here and I am always engaging with it 24/7. I see that my art will never be able to add value like I can, as who I am within my living daily expression. I also see that my art will always just be an extension of my own Self Value as the Satisfaction I have for myself based on how I am supporting myself where this satisfaction can never be conjured up or manufactured, it will only ever be a Direct consequence of what I accept and allow of myself in every moment as my living application which in Self Honesty, I am fully aware of whether I am supporting and nurturing myself or not.
So here is an adjustment of value where I commit myself to realize daily that real value comes from who I am and how I am supporting me in self honesty to live and express within the principle of what is best for all.
I commit myself to remember that the value I contribute is happening in every moment based on who I am within and as myself and what I accept and allow of and as myself as a life form and so here I commit myself to stand within and as this awareness and see, realize, and understand here the importance of Supporting Myself Daily into and as a point of being Satisfied with who I am, because I, Self, is the first point of Value and so I see, realize, and understand that I must first stand within and as a point of Self Value before I can share this into the world, and so
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to underestimate and dismiss Self Value as an important first step in creating value within this world. And so I commit myself to creating Self Value through Supporting and Caring for myself as my Starting Point for creating Value in this world.
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