I find it hard to relax sometimes. I feel like I must just go, go, go. “I have to be doing something”. I have noticed this week that I have been quite high strung in the evenings to the point of feeling irritated very quickly at various things. Its like I just have to be doing something to be moving forward in my life. To be creating success in my life, to be making my life work.
So here is a question – What does it mean when my life is working? What am I striving for? When will I be at a point where I will say “Okay, now I can relax, I have made it”
Is it possible to experience some peace in my life right now?
What is this experience of peace that I am after?
One point that I see happens with me allot is that I will create projections within my mind of my life in the future. And then I start to strive towards that future, but, then I end up investing to much into that ‘projected future’ because I start to judge my current life and what is happening in real time because my current life no more seems to be on the path towards my ‘projected future life’.
So I can see one reason why I feel stressed allot is because I want my “future life” to be here already dammit. And that creates a stress because things aren’t here immediately but will require processes to walk and will require much real-time walking.
So how can I be satisfied, fulfilled, and relaxed with the life I have at the moment?
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry constantly that my targets and goals will not be reached or achieved, where this constant worrying creates an energy build-up within me which causes me to be highly irritated, because within my mind, I am at the same time, doubting my goals and targets can be reached, while at the same time, am in a kind of agony waiting to see if they either will or will not come to be.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to create my own inner turmoil and agony in relation to wondering if my targets and goals will ever be realized.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define success as the reaching of my targets and goals and not allow myself to realize that there is many paths or potentials that could unfold as time moves that could also be a success, and so its not necessary to stress so much about reaching the specific targets and goals I have set for myself. Also I see that there is more to ‘success’ than just one goal way in the future. What about my day and all the various moments within my day where there is different interesting things happening and moments to express, explore, create, and expand myself.
I commit myself to re-assess my goals and targets daily so that they can shift and change as the parameters and conditions of my life shift and change.
I commit myself to stop defining success as a single goal way in the future somewhere but to also expand this definition to include my day to day, moment to moment living where there is as much potential here to expand, grow, and express myself in a fulfilling and success way.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to remember to breath. To direct myself to inhale and exhale and for a moment be here with my breath as a point of directing myself to slow down as a point of supporting myself to remain balanced and stable within remembering that I am HERE in this moment, and there is so much here in the moment for me to explore and express within, while at the same time, also planning ahead effectively and making sure I do have plants, targets and goals.
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