Yesterday I wrote a blog about my experience of “giving up” in relation some points I have been facing in my life. After I had written the blog and I was busy with other things, I came across a photo in my facebook feed and this photo immediately triggered an emotional reaction within me.
And so what I noticed is that a dimension of this emotional reaction I was having was in fact also the point of ‘giving up’.
Now this photo, triggered a sensitive issue that I have been dealing with for several years and so within it was contained quite an emotional reaction that was already created inside myself and so was pre-packaged, waiting to be triggered.
What I realized here in this instance is that the particular emotional reaction that has been existing within me in relation to this ‘sensitive issue’ contained a frequency of “giving up” and of suppressing the emotional reaction from the perspective of trying to get away from it, trying to ignore it, instead of Directing it.
So this was an interesting point to have emerge last night. Ultimately it was through writing a blog that I had supported myself to establish an awareness within myself in relation to the blog topic which was “my experience of giving up” and furthermore, how to correct myself. And so thus then when this ‘emotional reaction’ came up in relation to this picture I saw that triggered this ‘sensitive issue’, instead of doing what I always do and suppressing my reaction, I was in that moment able to see into the emotional reaction and also was able to change how I responded to it.
Now, in my last blog, I wrote the statement, that “I was going to do the impossible” This basically means that I am going to assist and support myself to change how I direct myself in relation to things that I face in myself and my reality that normally I react the same way every time like with this ‘sensitive issue’ triggering within me last night when seeing a photo on facebook where within myself I had in a way created this idea that “it is impossible to understand this reaction” or change who I am in relation to and as this reaction. It has become a point within me that I felt powerless towards and that my only means of direction I was giving it was suppressing it.
So what I realize is that my tendency to “give up” is not only done towards projects, or tasks or responsibilities in my environment, but that it is also a way that I have allowed myself to manage my inner emotional state where when I am faced with particular emotional experiences that suddenly come up within me, that my way of dealing with them is GIVING UP, where I will immediately from the initial emotional reaction, go into another emotional reaction of Giving Up. So it was quite interesting to see, this. So here my Direction with this particular ‘sensitive issue’ that came up last night is to FIND SOLUTIONS for it, and not just accept it as “impossible to change” and so immediately go into a “giving up” in relation to it, believing there is no solution for it and then trying to suppress it.
So this begs the question then – Where does ones tendency to give up on things and not follow through with things actually begin? I can see how if my tendency in relation to facing/handling my inner emotional reality is to give up, is to quit, is to supress, and ultimately allow my emotions to overwhelm me, then perhaps I would also be more inclined to give up and quite on projects that I have started where then the ‘outter’ way I direct myself matches the ‘inner’.
So I commit myself to assist and support myself to when ever I am faced with an emotional experience and I notice that point of wanting to “give in to it” or “give up” within myself and become overwhelmed by the emotional reaction/experience, to in that moment, stop myself, take a breath, and assist and support myself to FIND SOLUTIONS to the emotional reaction instead of just giving up and allowing it to overwhelm me.
And so here I commit myself to see, realize, and understand that when I ‘give up’ in my own mind in relation to an emotional experience, that I am preparing the way for me to give up in my physical reality when I am busy with tasks or jobs or other points. I see that the inner and the outer exist in marriage with each other and so I commit myself to work with my inner reality and how I direct myself in relation to my emotional experience where here I commit myself to assist and support myself to Find Solutions instead of allowing emotional experiences to overwhelm me but rather I commit myself to find solutions to bring forth a stability within me. And so in doing this, prepare the way for me to then be able to follow through with practical projects in my physical reality instead of giving up half way through, or even in the very beginning. And so here I commit myself to assist and support myself to change my tendency to GIVE UP in my inner and outer reality, into a point of Sourcing out Solutions to assist and support myself to establish Self Stability and Clarity within myself.
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