SeeSawing Decisions – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 688


Are we in control of our own lives or is somebody or something else actually guiding and directing our decisions and in fact responsible for the outcome of what we experience and face in our day to day life.

Have you ever noticed how easily you can change your mind on something where in one moment, you are sure and certain about a particular direction and decision in your life where suddenly something shifts and you are presented with new information or are even just looking at the point from a different angle and then your decision and direction completely shift 180 degrees and now you are more inclined to the opposite, and so then you here have made your decision and then you wake up the next day and now are suddenly veering back the other way again.

I have encountered this experience in my life which raised the question of what is it that I am actually basing my life on?

I have been faced with yes or no decisions that would actually have quite an impact on my life and  Iwould go back and forth between the 2 and then finally come to a decision to then suddenly change it at the last second right before I confirm.

Is life a guessing game?

Why are not my decisions CLEAR and OBVIOUS?

Pick a card any card?

That one…no wait, that one…no…the first one….final answer….no wait….

I have found that this is sometimes my experience in relation to making important decisions in my life and I have wondered why this is and why is it that I am not more certain within myself and that I do not have a more SOLID FOUNDATION upon which I am basing the decisions and directions of myself and my life.

I have noticed that some people in my life influence me quite a bit with what they say. I will be speaking with them and listening to their perspectives on a situation and that perspective will seem to all make sense and within this I will start to “take their side” so to speak and in this start aligning myself and my direction with thier particular preference so to speak.

Then I will start talking with someone else about the same point and they will have a different version and suddenly again, my stance will start shifting and now I am siding more with them.

So the point I am actually discussing here is the point of AUTHORITY or SELF AUTHORITY.


For reference please have a look at the Milgram experiments on “obedience to authority figures”

What I have noticed about myself and my life is that I am extensively influenced by what other people have to say where I in a way become almost hypnotized by it to the degree where I don’t even realize how much what others say actually influences my decisions and directions in my own life where in a way, I never actually make decisions for myself but rather just make my decisions in life based on what other people think I should do. Not because they are demanding that I do this, but because this is how I have conditioned myself to make decisions.

I have lost my SELF AUTHORITY.

Now, this has been a point I have been working on over the years and I see as I am writing out this blog that this is still a point that I must Stabilize and Solidify within myself as I do see that I am still very much influenced by what others say and particularly by what others who I have defined as authority figures in my life have to say.

I can see that I don’t like making decisions for myself and that id rather trust someone else to make decisions for me. Although I see that this not so in every single aspect of my life but is actually more or less according to what aspect of my life the point of focus is on in a particular moment.

So I see that I can diminish my authority on certain topics where I am more likely to be influenced by others in for instance financial matters or when it comes to making important life path decisions.

How many times have we trusted others to make decisions for us who don’t in fact have our best interests at heart or for that matter are operating on a highly opinionated decision making platform, meaning they themselves are not in fact clear and stable in relation to how reality in fact functions and so are able to make clear discerning decisions that is based in a sound assessment of what would be practically best based on how this reality actually functions.

This to me is an important point to establish for oneself in becoming ones own Self Authority in this world. It is important to establish an ability to see and assess information practically within the context of how this world really functions so that one can in fact make decisions that is practiclly viable and executable.

Like for instance, I am not going to take a job that pays 10 dollars an hour when this job over here doing the same thing pays 20 dollars. Numeracy skills in this case is a practical ability to have to be able to assess the information of this reality so to be able to make practical decisions in relation to how this reality practically functions.

I have found that so often people will have all sorts of opinions based on their own preferences and ideas about how they think the world works. It is important to really develop ones ability to assess information practically so that you can make your own decisions, and to really be able to see when someone else, even though they might be passionate, might also be delusional. This is important so that we can become our own decision makers, and Self Authorities in our lives.

So this is a point I wanted to bring through in this blog – the point of how easily we will ‘give away our power’ so to speak, and that we will ultimately allow other peoples opinions influence us, even when those opinions are based on faulty principles that is not aligned with actually nurturing and enhancing life on earth for all living creatures. And this is a whole other dimension of this authority point which I will get to in blogs to come. The point of looking at the platforms and value systems that is forming the opinions of people and authority figures in this world, and how these platforms and value systems do not in fact honour life, and so also how it is important that one must make sure ones own value system as the platform upon which they form their opinions and make their decisions actually honors and respects LIFE.


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