The other day I was having a chat with someone about some points going on in my reality and some of the considerations I was looking at in relation to these points. During the chat and afterwards I noticed that there was a part of me that was wanting the other person whom I was chatting with to ‘give me an answer’ or even, to ‘make a decision for me’. This showed me that there is a part of me where I don’t like making decisions on my own, and that also, I am afraid to make some decisions on my own.
The process that I am currently walking with myself is to become an effective practically functional and expressive human being within this world and part of this is connected to the entire decision making processes that are part of ones day to day reality.
Now, this particular decision was in relation to career/job which I see as being a more prominent decision that I must make within my life where as deciding between orange or apple juice is not such a big deal. (Orange!)
So what I noticed is that I did not like the idea of making this particular decision that I was facing alone. I wanted someone else to make it for me. I do not trust myself. I have not learned to trust myself within myself in relation to making a decision like this.
So I found this was interesting to see about myself. To see that I wanted someone else to make this important life decision for me, and that I felt incapable of making it on my own.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I am better off getting someone else whom I trust more than myself to make my tough and challenging life decisions for me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making big decisions by myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have not developed within myself an effective ability to make big decisions for myself, where instead, what I have accepted and allowed within myself in relation to facing such decisions/points in my life, is I have allowed Self Doubt and I haven’t allowed myself to face or stand up to or address this Self Doubt experience within myself in relation to big decisions in my life but that I have allowed myself to want to run and hide from this Self Doubt experience which I see is a form of fear.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to assist and support myself to face the fear I encounter when there is a big decision to be made in my life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give away my directive principle to others in my life, where I look to them to make decisions for me and in this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to have assisted and supported myself to make my own decisions.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to work with myself with this point and assist and support myself to become the Directive Principle of myself when it comes to facing and making big decisions and all decisions in my life.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to Remain HERE within myself when I am looking at big decisions that I must make in my life, where this ‘remaining here’ is a point of realizing that I must develop my own ability to make tough or challenging decisions for myself, and that if I do not practice making these decisions for myself, I will never learn how, and I will never develop that ability for myself and so will never actually Stand as the Directive Principle as the Creative Force of and as myself and my life.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that “I will not do the right thing” or that “I will not do what is actually best for me” when it comes to making ‘big’ or ‘important’ decisions in my life. And so within this belief I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid making these big decisions within my life.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to see, realize, and understand that I can assist and support myself to ‘do what is best for me’ with these bigger more important decisions, through by assisting and supporting myself to “do what is best for me’ with smaller decisions that I face every single day, and so here I see that I can support myself by practicing doing what is best for me ‘on a smaller scale’ and in this way develop and build trust within myself that I will in fact make decisions that is best and supportive for myself. Everyday I am faced with multitudes of decisions, and if I allow myself to not do what is best for me in those moments, but to indulge in bad habits or patterns, than it is likely that this trend of decision making would manifest in the larger decisions of my life as well. And so likewise, if I establish a CONSTANT pattern of making decisions in moments that is best for me than this will support me when it comes time to face some bigger decisions and so here I commit myself to assist and support myself to throughout my day in the smaller moments when I am making decisions to not take these small moments so lightly but to realize that these small moments, and how I direct myself within them is Key Opportunities for me to ESTABLISH who I am within making decisions and wether or not I do what is best for me or not, and so here I commit myself to assist and support myself to utilize these smaller moments to Establish Who I am within the context of Decision Making where I assist and support myself to become One who Always dose What is Best For Me.
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