In my previous blog I was opening up the statement “I don’t want to deal with that right now”. During the end of the blog I started to notice this particular point that was contained within the above statement. That point being ‘Victimization’ So this is where I am going to focus this blog.
What I see is that acting out victimization has become one of my primary characters/personalities that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and so thus determine the outcome of my life.
I have had a challenging time this past week at work. My job is quite physically demanding at times and this means that my body sometimes gets sore. This past week, I did have some soreness in my body as I went through the week and this soreness I see was a kind of trigger point for the point of victimization to come up.
This week I wanted to have a solid week at work but as I was walking the necessary working hours I had allot of inner dialog and back-chat coming up in relation to this.
I will at times go through phases of resistance towards my job. And this past week I was experiencing quite a bit of resistance towards working. My plan was to simply stick to my schedule and support myself to push through any resistance that comes up and have myself a solid week.
But I was finding the resistance experience was quite prominent within myself and so I started asking myself why this was/is.
And within introspection as well as writing about this experience, I started to see this stance I had taken within myself of victimization and so I see that this is a specific point I can work with in terms of where to focus my Corrective Realignment of myself in assisting and supporting myself to live to my utmost potential.
What I find and see is that victimization weakens me.
Ok so for instance with the soreness in the body. What I noticed is that my approach to handling/supporting myself within my body soreness while stabilizing myself at work this week had this signature of victimization to it. I find that it’s quite subtle. For instance in the evening I had a chat with my partner and I could see this point within me of wanting to tell her about how sore my body was. But I noticed that I was more wanting to tell her that as a point of existing as a victim instead of from the starting point of taking responsibility for myself and empowering myself in relation to myself and my reality and the challenges I was facing.
I can see this point that maybe you can relate to. What I am noticed about myself/my mind is that when I am existing in Victimization, I am constantly complaining about everything inside my head as I am busy doing it or walking it, and that is a sure sign of victimization. What I see is that for instance in having soreness this week, that allowing myself to victimize myself in relation to this only enhanced the soreness from the perspective of adding an additional ‘mental layer’ so to speak to the soreness point where within my mind it was like there was this inner dialog happening which was in the nature of complaining about the soreness. And its not only the words that is going on in my mind in relation to this but the energetic signature of those words that I see really affects and influences myself where I really become the victim where then my overall experience of myself becomes like overwhelmed and saturated by this victimization. So the energetic signature within the words is like a kind of ‘weakness’, ‘anger’ and ‘defeat’
So the correction is to stop victimization and rather stand within a point of Self Responsibility where I simply support myself to find solutions to implement and test because what I find is that “The Victim Character” likes to give up. Its all about giving up. The entire presence of the victim is “I GIVE UP” and so in not allowing that point of Victimization means I realign myself to finding Solutions and directing myself within them.
Sometimes it can seem like there is allot of problems that come up in ones life. Its like every turn there is another problem. And I see how this then could make it easy for the victim character to become enhanced because the victim character feeds of problems.
So what I see for myself which I am going to support myself to do is to realign myself to find Solutions to all the problems that arise. And I mean a problem is not a bad thing. It is simply a thing, and it isn’t really even a problem per-se. To the Victim it is definitely a problem that is so overwhelming its like ‘whats the point’ .
I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fall into the “Victim Character” and then to become more and more this character where then I would react to every challenge, every point, every responsibility that came up in my life where as this Victim Character, I would see it as a problem and just want to give up, instead of assisting and supporting myself to simply take life one point at a time and assist and support myself to STAND as I face challenges, Points within my day and investigate, test and implement practical solutions.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to when ever I see this Victim Character wanting to emerge within myself when I am facing a moment/challenge during my day, I commit myself to take a breath and stabilize myself here within and as my human physical body. I see, realize, and understand that I have essentially conditioned and created this Victimization Character within myself throughout my life as how I ‘handle’ my life or challenges that I face where this “Victimization Character” is a kind of default setting, and so here I see that I must CORRECT Myself and Change Myself and Change my Default Setting so to speak to one where when I am facing challenges, problems, responsibilities that I don’t go into this feeling of feeling overwhelemed and wanting to just give up and avoid it no matter how big or small the point might be, but that rather I Face It. And so here
I commit Myself to assist and support myself to Change and Transform myself from “The Victim” When facing my normal day to day life as all the points, problems, tasks, responsibilities, challenges, opportunies, ect that is part of this day to day life and to change and transform my approach from the Victim who just wants to give up in relation to all this, into rather Embracing all these points that is my day to day life where I embrace them and I Direct them and find Solutions for them to test and implement. I also commit myself to approach this Embracing as a kind of SILENT EMBRACE from the perspective where this SILENCE within myself is a point of not accepting or allowing myself to go into back-chat/inner dialog about the point/problem/challenge/moment that I am facing which is what the Victim likes to do within all its inner complaining and back-chatting, and so here I commit myself to as I Embrace the challenges, problems, tasks, responsibilities and moments of my life and find solutions for these to support me to walk with an inner silence as I see the back-chat is not a necessary dimension to participate within as it is part of the Victim Character that constantly back-chats as a way to continuously enforce Itself and disempower myself. And so here I see that this point of Supporting myself to walk in silence is actually a point of Self Empowerment as I take walk through my life approaching each moment from the starting point of assisting and supporting myself to Direct Myself to find and implement Solutions to support myself to Live and Express to my utmost potential and so contribute to Develop and bring forth a world that is Best for ALL.
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