During the past 3 weeks I have been in the process of moving. I have been at my new place now for over a week and what I have found is that during this entire moving process that I have experienced myself as less stable and even a bit lost.
However, I am moved in now, and so I see that I can no longer accept the statement that “my experience is because of the whole moving process” because I do see now that I have had a bit of time to start to settle in and from my perspective I am in a position to actually have the necessary footing so to speak to ground myself and direct myself and so thus I realize here that this statement that “my experience is because of the whole moving process” is no more valid in relation to when I first initially realized that the moving process did stir up some reactions within myself.
I didn’t initially notice that the moving process was in fact having an effect on my experience and my inner reality. There was all sorts of new questions, concerns, fears, mental reality playouts going on within me.
“What will the new place be like”
“Is it big enough”
“does it have the proper practical points in place”
“Will my plants get enough light”
“Will I be able to afford it”
“How will the new drive to work affect my work and living schedule and ultimately my income?”
“Will it help”
“will it hinder”
“How will my new landlords be”
“where do I take my garbage now”
“How long will I be at this place”
And so all these points were going on inside me and stirring up quite and experience.
and when I finally did arrive at my new place, it was like I couldn’t just continue my normal routine as I normally did because my physical parameters were all different.
One point I did notice revealing within all this is that my Self Stability is still quite linked into and dependant on my routine instead of being more established within and as Myself so that no matter if I move or where I am, that Who I am within myself and my ability to direct myself remains constant and stable.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to speak the statement within myself “my experience of myself is in relation to the whole moving process” and to within speaking this statement accept and allow myself to use this as a justification to “give into my experience” instead of Directing myself effectively within my reality in a way that is supportive.
When and as I see myself speaking this statement within myself, or when I see this statement coming up within me, I in that moment stop and breathe, and not participate in using that statement as a justification to not Direct myself or to not Stand within myself within and as a doing what is best for myself but to allow myself to remain stuck in my energetic experience of myself in that moment. I see, realize, and understand that this statement of “my experience is related to the whole moving process” was a statement that I was in fact utilizing to justify remaining in a depression experience as well as a negative experience that I defined as overwhelming. I also see, realize and understand that here now when ever I see this statement coming up within me that I have an opportunity to in fact Change myself and to assist and support myself to bring myself here in and as breath, stand up within myself, standing up out of the experience and no longer accepting and allowing myself to be directed by my mind as an energetic experience and so I here I commit myself to assist and support myself to realize that I am now in a position actually to start Directing Myself Effectively in my reality and that my environment is actually supporting me to do this because I have had a week to settle into my place and so I see that I can in fact here start pushing myself and supporting myself to “getting things back to normal” meaning where I practice my application of walking, standing, and applying myself in consistency and supporting myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to become swallowed up by energetic experiences of feelings and emotions within myself.
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