This blog is a continuation of the Series I am doing on Resistance
Today was my day working on the sales floor in the gallery where I work. Normally my job is to make the art, and that is more my specialty, however over the past 2 years I have also directed myself to spend time working more on the sales side of things where to do this I have definitely had to walk through some resistances. Because normally this kind of thing was ‘out of character’ for me. I was not predisposed or pre-programmed to do this, and so I actually had to direct myself to do it and direct myself to walk through any resistance that would come up in relation to doing it.
So in this blog I am continuing with my series on RESISTANCE, and so will share here this specific point that I have walked the past couple years of facing and walking through particular resistances in relation to my job, and how within doing this I have assisted and supported myself to expand myself within my capacity in relation to my job/career, and also my life, instead of just sticking to ‘what I am used to’ or ‘what I am good at’, but that I have directed myself to walk through the resistance I have had in relation standing within that area of my job that deals more with customer relationships and sales.
When I was first presented with this point in relation to my job. The point of actually spending time in the gallery selling the art and talking to customers rather than just making the art, I embraced this opportunity.
I had already understood things about myself at that stage. One of them being that I much prefer to ‘keep to myself’ and that I identified that it would be more within my comfort zone to rather just stick to making the art and letting other people sell it, and so I was aware that I would likely resist the opportunity to work some days on the gallery sales floor, moving myself out of my comfort zone, and selling mine and other artists pieces and speaking to customers. This was more going against my nature so to speak, and I have found that normally resistance is the perfect thing to stop and prevent one from doing anything that they are not used to doing or that is not already a part of who they are, and so thus resistance ultimately causes people to not really ever change or expand themselves. Mostly because the energy experience of resistance is not really understood, or identified by individuals that is something detrimental.
At that stage I had also already began working with this point of sales and customer relationships where I faced allot of resistances to this due to how I had programmed myself to be quite a quiet and solitary, even isolated individual. Points which I realized was more related to a kind of personality development and environmental influence in terms of how I was raised and what programming I inherited from my parents/peers growing up, rather than a real Self Expression of myself and so I had already begun working with correcting this point about myself because I realized how points like doing sales and customer relations could possibly open up things about myself that I never have seen before. After all, the process that I have embarked on was/is self change and this was one way in which I could support myself to change/transform myself and no more just accept my ‘pre-programmed’, predictable, automated self that I had become. And thus stepping out of my automated self would require I walk through Resistance – Resistance being the ‘natural’ response to when ever you do something that is not normally something you’d do.
If I had not been walking the process that I am of assisting myself in developing Self Awareness and assisting myself to become more Self Directive and taking responsibility for myself and my reality, I very likely wouldn’t have moved through the necessary resistances that I had towards working on the sales floor and I wouldn’t have made that aspect of my job a part of my own reality which it is currently.
I have learned to spot resistance and I have come to understand and see what resistance is and this really is a support because then I can actually Direct myself in relation to it instead of just giving into it and being directed by it and so thus accepting and allowing resistance to be a creative force in my life, but rather I direct MYSELF to be the creative principle in my life based on looking at myself and my world practically and assessing what would actually be BEST FOR ME or something that would benefit me. I have often found that I will actually Resist doing things that would actually be best for me.
After some time working in the gallery, I noticed that I did allow that resistance point to start influencing me. There was like a heaviness experience that came over me when ever I was given the opportunity to work the gallery floor. A heaviness experience would come over me and so then would also all sorts of inner-talk trying to talk me out of doing it.
“its not worth it”
“Its not worth your time”
“you can use you time better in other ways”
“its not necessary at this stage”
“I just don’t want to”
“I am too tired”
“its useless to do it”
“Just skip it once for this week – you can do it next week”
And I would just feel so heavy, and just sluggish and just not wanting to do it. And sometimes Id give in and not do it.
Eventually I did reach a point where I realized that this was something that I would have to re-commit myself to doing as I noticed that I allowed myself to give into that resistance and within that I was seeing that I was in fact missing out on an opportunity right in front of me to expand myself within learning and practicing this point of sales and customer relationship building. Something that in practically assessing seen that would be something beneficial to me and in fact best for me.
So recently over the past 3 months I have made it a point to work the gallery floor 1 day a week where this is a consistent part of my schedule to assist and support myself to develop this aspect of my career/job and myself.
And I’d say its rare to not have resistance still come up to doing this. But for me I see that moving myself through this resistance and directing myself to practice this particular point is beneficial to me and so when ever it comes up, I identify it immediately and so see “ok there is the resistance” and then I just breathe and let it go, and not allow myself to indulge in the thoughts and inner talk attempting to make it seem like I should follow that resistance experience.
So there is an example within my life of a particular point of potential change and self expansion where I faced resistance and have assisted and supported myself and still do to walk through that resistance and no more accept and allow myself to be directed and controlled by the resistance experience I have in relation to Self Change.