In this blog I am continuing with waking through the Principles stated in the Desteni Manifesto and here sharing my perspective and experience in relation to have been walking this process now for over 7 years. Here I am continuing with principle #3.
- Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa
What I have begun to realize with Self Honesty is that, no one is going to help with it. That Self Honesty could also be Self Alonesty. Because it is me who decides what I accept and allow of and as and within myself.
Ultimately it is like to become your own police man. Because only you can stop yourself from participating within the secrets of your mind. YOU either allow it or YOU don’t. So Self Honesty is like developing that point of SELF Direction in relation to your mind and your life, and the Key word here is SELF.
When I stayed on the Desteni Farm now over 4 years ago, I became quite effective within myself in relation to stopping thoughts, emotions, and feelings, and really Standing Equal and One within and without of myself where who I was on the outside was who I was on the inside. I was surrounded by a group of people who were walking this and developing this within themselves as well. So having this around supported. Oh, and so did Fear. Lol – So what I mean by this is that I see that there was an aspect of me fearing participating in certain thoughts, because I would surely be found out and I did not want to face other people knowing what kind of thoughts I was participating in so I just wouldn’t do it.
So then is that fear helping, or shame helping. More shame really. So when I left the Farm I had to face this point. I had to face this point of becoming my own police man so to speak. Because now I was not in an environment where everyone was walking this point and supporting themselves and others and I was not in an environment where, I could be found out so easily, which I see was always a point in the back of mind. But ultimately I realize, that it’s not about ‘being found out’ and that is what Self Honesty is, you do not stop for others, you do not stop so your not ‘found out’. This I realize cannot be the motivation. You Stop for You. You actually Stop for yourself. To Support yourself.
So I left the farm and went back into the System.
In the world system everyone just walks around existing completely within their minds, thinking all sorts or things towards one another so its kind of like that principle of disappearing in a crowd where for me I aligned myself in this impersonal way where I could kind of just disappear, and I guess that is also key. Because I wasn’t really in an environment anymore where a certain level of intimacy existed, I didn’t really have to worry about someone finding out what was going on inside me for real.
So this really revealed that my Self Honesty that I was living in that environment was not yet truly my own. It was not yet truly my Self Alonesty.
So what happened is slowly I would allow myself to participate more and more in my mind again. Because I was alone, no one could see what I was doing, so I was more lenient with myself. And it took me some while, years in fact before I began to realize that “Oh shit, I am going to actually have to do this” meaning, that ‘I’ am going to have to become the one that Disciplines myself, that Stands as the Guardian within myself and no more accepting and allowing myself to participate within the various thoughts that I was.
So in terms of Self Honesty, I had to, and continue to become this for myself. My Guardian, My Guide, The one that looks out for me, and the one that Cares for me. The one that does not allow me to abuse my free choice. Because with free choice, one is also free to fuck up their life.
I am not yet perfect in this, I am still developing my Strength in terms of my Self Honesty so that I am pure in thought, word, and deed. No one is going to stand within me, with me, I must stand alone and have the courage to STOP.
The Courage to direct myself to become pure in thought, word and deed.
And I commit myself to Support myself to do this.
I commit myself to practice standing within and as Purity in thought, word and deed, within and without, no more accepting and allowing those thoughts, words, and deeds of and as myself that I see is not aligned to what is best for all.
I commit myself to practice standing Here, Pure in thought, word and deed, within and without.