In my blog yesterday I started opening up the point of how I was finding myself often possessed within a state and experience of haste and rushing and in a way trying to force myself and my reality to move faster.
I was discussing this point with my partner later on and a different dimension of this point opened up and that is the point of perfection. Perfection as that which is unable to be achieved if one is unable to slow oneself down to be able to give the necessary attention, consideration, and care, to whatever it is one is focusing on or working with.
Now one area where this point of rushing and haste has been influencing myself and my life and causing reactions, is in relation to my job.
I work as an Artist and each day I am busy creating different artworks.
In this process I have found it is a balance between taking your time making the best piece possible but also considering the context of the world we live in and ultimately making sure you do not take too much time with something to the degree where you trying to get everything perfect and as a result never actually make any money because it takes you sooooo long to finish something.
I mean, capitalism works more like a machine churning out products as fast as you can. So now to couple this with Artists and Making Art, man, you have a bit of a conundrum and unfortunately you have here the degeneration of artwork and craftsmanship but that is a different blog entirely.
Now what I have been noticing in this process of creating works of art is that I haven’t been fully satisfied with what I have been making and in fact what had emerged was a kind of anxiety and frustration in relation to the projects that I have been working on and completing because I wasn’t taking the necessary time to finish effectively the pieces that I was creating.
Last week after I had just finished a new piece and had it in the gallery, I noticed there was as few scratches on the underneath side of the sculpture I had just done. A few scratches here and there is normal with the kind of work I do, though in this case I could see that if I had just taken a couple more hours with this piece I could of polished these scratches away. This all taking place after I had already vowed to myself to start taking more time finishing my pieces more cleanly and yet here again I ended up rushing myself to get the piece done and get it in the gallery.
What I have identified about myself is that my strength is my ability to get allot done. Meaning when it comes to the bulk of the work, that is where I excel. I am able to get allot done with pretty good quality. Though my weakeness or a point that I have not yet specifically worked with and perfected is “the finishing touches” or the “finishing phases” of points I am working on.
Have you ever herd the phrase “The Devil is in the details” that phrase really struck a cord in me when it came up last night because this is exactly where I see I have always lacked execution so to speak.
And so it is in relation to this point that the word perfection came up last night in conversation with my partner.
I can see that throughout my life I have created a point of ‘haste’ within me in relation to my living. This ‘haste’ is the normal pace in which I move myself in my day to day living. If we look at the world currently there is massive populations that also exist within this state of haste and rushing around. Its called consumerism. So I see that I have accepted and allowed myself to program myself to rush and that this has been something also that my environment and conditions growing up played a role in helping program.
And this program has the consequence of causing me to overlook important details of decisions I am making or in the case of the example given above, overlooking important details on the works of art that I am creating. Ultimately when I rush, cut myself off from the ability to really look deep into something. Looking deep into the different dimensions that is here in a moment of a decision I am facing or a consideration or a project or task. When I am possessed within a state of haste, I am not able to see into the depth and details of what is here, and so I end up neglecting or overlooking the details.
So in blogs to come I will begin with the Self Forgiveness process to assist and support myself to release myself from and so stop participating within and as the possession of ‘feeling the need to rush’ and/or my “state of haste” And in doing this I will assist and support myself to re-direct myself to actually move myself in and as Self Stability.
Within this I will also begin to assist and support myself to change/transform the point of ‘neglect’ I have identified within myself when it comes to “following through” on things or paying attention to the details. And so support myself to change this point of weakness into a point of effectiveness.
Ok so I will leave it here for this evening.
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