A General Disdain towards…Everything – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 662

Carrying Demons

Today I began to open up the point of Anger and looking at and investigating my relationship with anger and how anger is currently existing within myself as a part of myself.

What prompted this investigation is a chat I had earlier with my DIP Pro buddy. When you walk the DIP Pro course with Desteni, one of the benefits is a weekly chat with a buddy which has been a cool support point I have found to assist with getting feedback and suggestions on the points I walk and face each week.

So this week we were discussing the point of anger which I see is not a point I have really taken yet as a point I have specifically looked at and worked with.

There is also a series of videos done on ‘anger management’ that is part of the New Self and Living Website which I have watched the first one (again) which also prompted me to look at some specifics of this point.

What I see for myself is that I have never been too much of an outwardly angry person. I remember when I was younger I used to have ‘temper tantrums’ but that stopped as I got further into my teens.

Yet I do see points of anger within me that are more just kind of there, that has become me, and a part of my daily living that I haven’t yet really looked at and assisted and supported myself with releasing through changing myself in relation to and as this/these point(s) of anger that I have created within me.

I see that I more invert my anger meaning where I don’t much express it outwardly but more just keep it inside me, bottled up, and more just kind of stew inside myself in my anger.

I see there is a general thread of anger within me towards my Life that is pretty much always there. Its like a ‘general bitterness’ towards everything really.

I have also noticed this particular thought emerge within me in the past few years where I think “I must be difficult to be around” and then Id think about those people who become old and bitter and no one wants to be around them and I started thinking “is that me?” Am I becoming this way? and in a way I saw myself as becoming this way. Where id think to myself “man I must tough to be around sometimes because sometimes I am really quite bitter towards everything” where its like this real lack of care towards my environment, myself and others in my world. Yet I will maintain an outwardly upbeat and content expression, yet on the inside I am seeing this disdain and bitterness and thinking that there is no way people are buying this facade I am putting up, because from my perspective this anger experience within me, due to how I experience it within me as being quite saturated, must be quite blatantly oozing through the seams of how I present myself. I can’t be fooling anyone.

So this is what I would like to address.

Is it possible to live without this anger and bitterness and frustration experience within me?

What is it going to take to correct myself here and let go of this inner experience of frustration/anger/bitterness/disdain that I see I carry with me.

I have noticed that this more recently has become a dominant experience of myself where its like much of the time I am walking around like a scrooge! I have noticed this about myself and it has concerned me.

What is happening to me?

Why is this anger and frustration towards myself and towards everything becoming more?

Alright so, I just wanted to here take that first step of begging to open up my relationship to and as anger.

Also, Id definitely recommend checking out the new Self and Living website. The Support and Assistance in the video series’ available could potentially be life changing for anyone really curious about how to really get themselves back on track with their lives.

eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Self and Living – Practical Living Support To Live to Your Utmost Potential
DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs.

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