Today at work I was walking past one of my fellow co-workers and I noticed myself having a slight reaction.
I experienced a kind of tightening, twisting and tensing up inside myself/my body.
I work at a carving studio and it is common place that the employees working there are routinely coming up with new carvings.
Today one of the newer employees was working on his first major piece and I really liked it.
Yet in the same breath I experienced jealousy as this twisting and tightening and clenching up of myself / my physical body.
I would have this experience each time I walked by where he was working.
It was a somewhat ‘slight’ experience though if I really focus on it now I see this kind of inner contortion happening inside me within and as me reacting in jealousy towards this co-worker/his carving.
What I want to look at specifically here is how this ‘slight reaction’ I was having has been a reaction conditioned through and by the very System as the Environment I was born and raised into where for instance things like competition and comparison are simply allowed and never questioned, and in fact encouraged and so these such reactions we have towards one another like the slight inflection of jealousy I experienced within myself towards my co-worker become normalized, common place, nothing to ever question – and so we don’t.
And so in not questioning such points, we don’t realize that then now what is happening is that I am allowing FEAR to direct and influence the relationships that I have within my reality.
So my question here is:
What would I have done or how would I have reacted towards my co-workers new carving if for instance ‘the conditions were different’ and if I had not had FEAR as the driving force of who I am and how I experience myself in relation to my environment or my peers?
This is why I support a Living Income Guarantee System because within such a system/structure one would in fact be able to ‘program out’ fear, or support oneself to begin establish ones living in a way where FEAR would no more be the primary motivator/director of ones life/experience.
If I look at this reaction of jealousy I had towards my co-worker I see that this reaction stems way back and is in relation to a point of Self Worth.
I have been competing against my peers in the field of art for many many years, I can see this all the way back in some early memories I have of around the age of 9 or 10 years old where I remember even then having these experiences of Jealousy coming up within me towards my peers which I see is actually a form of Fear – A fear of ‘losing myself’ of ‘losing who I thought I was’ of losing my apparent ‘value’ that I believed defined me and made me important – A self created value that I attached and ultimately based on my ability and skill in Art. And so when I noticed others who were also good at this skill, my Self Created Self Value and thus Self Worth that I had connected and attached to the condition that “I am better than everyone at this skill” was suddenly threatened. And so I see that this is like a point of SURVIVIAL and even way back then attempting and trying to Position myself as worthy, as better, as the winner, the one on top because then what do I get? Attention? Power? Glory? To feel good about myself? The idea that I am of some worth to this world? To my parents? All of the above? – Though is this also not implying that I am relying on others as this point of Validation? Relying on others to see and recognize my Skills/Abilities.
Had I not yet learned or realized to value myself? Was I not taught this? Why was I not taught this? Why was I not taught to value myself? Why did my parents not teach me this? Why did Saturday morning cartoons not teach me this? Why did my teachers not teach me this? Why did my peers not teach me this? Why did my religion not teach me this?
So this point of Valuing Self and treating/seeing others equal to and one with Self was not in fact really a part of this world/my environment as such – Rather it was competition and winning and dog eat dog that was the name of the game.
So I was born and raised into a system where jealousy and FEAR was cultivated and had simply become the essence of life within our pursuit of survival.
So obviously yes today when I walked by my co-worker and this reaction comes up within me its like ‘expected’ yet within this I see that I have TRUSTED this experience, that I in a way have become ‘stuck’ with it – I mean “How Do I Stop It?”
In our current system and through my entire life – Living was a FIGHT. It was a Fight for Survival. I may have not so much noticed this earlier in my life because I was ‘shielded’ from a certain perspective from this by my parents. But once I stepped out from underneath the wing of my mother and father and into the world, I started to realize the real vicious nature that our world exists within. It is a form of Evil really how we will fight and deceive and abuse one and other doing what ever it takes to secure our own survival. If one look at the structure of our system one will notice a certain inequality that exists and how for the majority of individuals on planet earth there is NOTHING secure about their livlihoods. So many living in poverty or just above poverty and even those apparently living a decent life must spend most of their waking hours working and competing against their peers for that which has become the ‘ticket of life’ – Money that is. And even these individuals with money are not safe. Most are over their heads in debt and are existing in a position where their job could in a way disappear in the blink of an eye. Downsizing perhaps? Company goes out of business? Replaced by a younger cheaper empoyee?
And so its like we are forced in our current world system to compete because we have learned and have been trained to understand that ‘nothing is for free’ that ‘if you don’t fight for it – someone else will get it first’ and so within these conditions emerges a FEAR. A Fear of not having money. Of losing money. Of ending up on the street. “What if I lose my Job?”. “What if I don’t get that promotion?”. “What if my business plans don’t work out?”
And so everyday we live in this perpetual state of Fear and don’t even notice.
So today at the carving sight I see that this reaction of jealousy I had towards my co-worker was coming from this programmed Fear that has been embedded into me from living in the world we have created for ourselves where its everyman for themselves.
However now we must ask ourselves one more question – and it is an important one.
What would it be like If I did not have this Fear?
How would I react?
What would my relationship be like with my co-workers?
If this fear of survival was not here.
This fear like a thief in the night driving behaviors, reactions, experiences, thoughts, words we speak, routines, relationships, addictions, preferences, dreams, EVERYTHING.
And so this is why I support a LIVING INCOME GUARANTEE SYSTEM. Because it is within such a system that we as HUMANITY can been Repairing our Relationship with Ourselves, with each other, with our environment.
Where instead of having competition and fear driving everything we can look at how to do this from the starting point of Supporting Others and Ourselves to live to our utmost potentials.
I did not want my co-workers piece to turn out nice because I want all the money for myself. I want only my pieces to be in the gallery so that people buy my art only so I get all the money so that I can in a way free myself from my experience of myself in the system living each day where there is no guarantee if I will have money next week, next month, next year. And so this Fear of not having money Drives me to compete and in a way locks me into a way of interacting with my environment that is purely Self Interest based instead of approaching my reality from the starting point of Living what is best for ALL and considering my peers from the perspective of Equality and doing unto another what I would want done unto me.
I – as we all have – have become conditioned with such an evil nature. But this must stop and we must assist and support ourselves to change our nature and learn how to establish Equality and Doing what is in the best interest of ALL as the starting point of our Living.
So that when I walk by my co-worker I can be a point of Actual Support and really Supporting the highest potential of my peers and myself – This can never be as long as we are competing against each other.
And so I support a LIVING INCOME GUARANTEE SYSTEM as this System will be the Starting point of ourselves being able to let go of our “fear of Survival” as the driving force of our living. Living Income Guarantee is structured in a way to provide a Basic Income to ALL beings on earth from birth to death as an Unconditional Support.
I am seeing more and more how it is actually us humans who are deciding how we live and thus deciding and agreeing to our current model of life where we must fight to survive. And so within this principle that it is US who is in fact deciding and determining the system and structure we use to manage our living – we can thus then decide to change this system and structure to be one of Support.
I commit myself to while I am at work to assist and support myself to be aware of my pre-programmed nature so that I can identify when and as this pre-programmed ‘fear of survival’ start to come up within me and influence and determine the relationships and interactions I have at work with my co-workers to thus be within the nature of competition and self interest and so thus in identifying such moments I can and so Commit myself to STOP myself and thus here assist and support myself to change my Nature and thus rather Direct myself from the Starting Point of What is Best for ALL and thus push myself to Support others and myself within this context, no more accepting and allowing FEAR to Direct me within my LIVING, and so thus here on an individual level assist and support myself to contribute my part to the Process of Transforming our Reality from one of competition, greed, self interest and fear, into co-operation, the benefit of ALL, Stability and Unconditional Support.