The word Id like to explore and re-define for myself here today is the word ‘Alive’.
Lately I have been noticing that things have seemed a bit ‘dull’ or ‘dead’ or ‘boring’ so here I am going to investigate the word ‘Alive’ and look at how I can apply myself within and as this word, to Live this word for myself instead of just waiting around for something to happen to me that ‘peaks my interest’ where in a way I am waiting for something to happen so that I can be or feel alive instead of me standing as this point within and as myself where I am the Direct Principle Here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the word ‘Alive’ not seeing, realizing, understanding, or considering the point of redefining the word ‘Alive’ into a practical livable expression of and as myself so that I am no more separating myself from this word but thus am taking responsibility for myself to become the Living Word of and as Alive so that I can express myself as Alive and thus am no more accepting and allowing myself to exist in separation of this point and so having no power within and as myself to be/live direct this for myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to participate with boredom as if there is nothing I can do about it and as if boredom is a real thing that just happens to me where in this I have not considered that for me to exist within and as boredom I am in fact allowing this to be where I see that I have not yet deliberately taken responsibility for myself in relation to the word ‘boredom’ from the perspective of realizing that when boredom is here, that I am in fact able to direct myself ‘out of it’ or to no more just accept this as who I am, and so
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that boredom exist as me as the manifestation of when I do not direct me as Alive, thus indicating and showing me that I have not yet taken responsibility for myself within the context of being, living, doing, expressing me as ‘Alive’ as a deliberate Self Willed Expression of me as who I am as the Living Word of and as ‘Alive’ as an expression of me that I decide to do and express for and as myself and thus because I have not done this, I have accepted and allowed boredom to exist instead because I have not made the decision to move and direct myself out of the point of boredom, out of the expression of boredom which is where I will in a way become a personality and character of and as boredom where part of this personality/character is the acceptance and allowance that I am powerless to do anything about it, that I am unable to change myself to not be bored and so
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as helplessness in relation to being alive where I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in such a way where I have not yet taken responsibility for or had even considered myself able to take responsibility for my own aliveness so to speak where I am the one who Determine who I am within the context of ‘Alive’ in each and every moment, instance, situation, where this becomes a deliberate equal and one expression as me and not something that ‘happens to me’ that is ‘out of my hands’
When and as I see myself existing within and as the experience of boredom or that I see this experience coming up where things just feel dull and boring and plain, and dead, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this experience is a Self Accepted experience that I have allowed through a point of not yet taking responsibility for myself within this context and thus Directing Myself to in fact Give Me that which I would prefer to do and be other than being bored which is to be engaged and interested in what is here, in the moment. And so Here I commit myself to when and as I find myself in this experience of boredom or notice this point coming up to within this, stop for a moment and take a breath, and to Stand Up within myself and not allow myself to sink into/go into that boredom experience, and thus rather to Assert/ Direct Myself within and as the Living Expression of being ‘Alive’ where Here I move myself into physically interacting, expressing, exploring, investigating, engaging with my surroundings, reality, what is here and in doing this I commit myself to take responsibility for myself within the context of being Alive and thus no more simply accept and allow ‘boredom to come over me’ but to instead practically support myself to Become Alive as a Deliberate Self Willed Action/Expression of myself as the Living Word of and as Alive as the act of deliberately physically moving and expressing myself in my physical reality in terms of exploring and investigating and pushing myself and my expression to really explore who I am and how I am able to express me and live in any given moment, in this no more accepting and allowing the point of boredom to direct me and ‘tell me’ who I am in any given moment.
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