I have spent the last few weeks focusing on getting more stable with my job which simplistically meant working more consistent hours. This is a point that I realize must be continually implemented until it becomes a consistent part of my life.
In a way I have really made this ‘thee point’ and have cut out allot of other stuff in terms of other responsibilities and simply have been just more focusing my attention on this.
This weekend after applying this point of developing more consistency with my job over the past few weeks, when Friday came, I went into this experience of exhaustion.
So what happens is that this polarity equation has emerged where I will be directing myself and moving myself throughout the week and then when the weekend comes, or a day off, I will literally do absolutely nothing.
What I see is that Id like to balance this point out more so that I am not existing in such a polarity.
This Friday in particular I really noticed this experience within myself of once work was over on Friday afternoon, It was like I turned a switch inside me and went from ‘working, directing myself, getting things done’ to ‘doing absolutely nothing’.
From my perspective this ‘weekend experience’ of ‘shutting off’ is not necessarily what I want to do.
For me its like, ‘making up for lost time’. I mean have you ever had that point of wanting to ‘catch up on sleep’
Is that even possible? To me that seems strange. But maybe there is some degree of reality to it.
But that is how I experience myself often when the weekend hits, only I am not catching up on sleep but more catching up on ‘relaxing’ and so I go into a kind of overindulgence of relaxation where I turn into a blob and sink down in front of my computer and just watch tv series instance.
But for me its like this point of trying or attempting to relax. I just watched one of the most recent DIP Google Hangouts on ‘Stress’ where the the panel discussed this point of stress in relation to ones jobs and daily grind and also looked at and discussed practical considerations and solutions for not becoming overly stressed.
And so I see that this is actually the point I am writing about here because I find I still tend to go into the extremes of becoming kind of stressed or tense during the week and then collapsing in exhaustion when I have day off.
Its kind of like at the beginning of the week I take one big deep breath and then just dive in and go for it and just focus on getting through the week where when Friday hits I can finally exhale.
So this is a point that I have not yet really reconciled within myself in terms of really finding a stable balance. Maybe I am bit better than I was a year ago but I still find I struggle to relax.
This is also In a way a consequence that we have created in our reality due to what we have accepted and allowed to exist as our current system and how our system actually operates where so many are working extraneous work weeks where it is not so much natural and more just imposed to continue generating more and more profit for companies and corporations.
I am currently working as an Artist but I still find that the way the system currently works still demands a daily grind from even those that are apparently seemingly more independent from the system like one might think an Artist would be. What I am finding is that this is not the case at all. And that one really does still have to put in the hours and really push oneself throughout the week to put in the labor that will produce the products that generate sales and that this must be done consistently otherwise the money will simply stop. So It has been quite interesting really to have an opportunity to work as a Full-Time Artist and see how much time and labor goes into such a point and still how much more time and labor I could actually still put into the point. And ultimately if I would like this point to work and be effective that I must ‘keep-time’ with the system and align myself with the system and the daily grind the system demands of any successful business.
And so now as part of this process I mentioned in the beginning of developing more consistency and stability within the hours I put in at my job, I must also develop this point of not unnecessarily stressing myself out in relation to doing this where I end up manifesting and polarity relationship with this point where I just want to Shut down completely whenever a day off comes or the weekend comes.
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