point that I noticed coming through in my writings these past 2 days has to do with the point of work. What I noticed is in relation to the point of work is a specific experience that I have created and connected to this word and thus have merged into and as my definition of the word ‘work’ so that when ever I am speaking about ‘work’ this particular energetic experience is being referenced also.
What I have also noticed recently is that I have been really shying away from work where more and more I have been avoiding that which I define or see or experience as ‘work’
Today I noticed an interesting thing about this work point. That this experience I have that I associate with and define as being related to work is a point that is related to making decisions, particularly when the decisions are not so clear cut or easy or run of the mill, but require some actual assessment, calculations and application.
I have been working on this project at work and I noticed this ‘work experience’ coming up recently and I noticed that this ‘work experience’ is a form of resistance and what I noticed is that the resistance was in fact related to the particular point I was at in the project I was/am working on where “I didn’t know what was going to happen next” meaning where I was at a tricky point In the process and in a way things were hanging in the balance where I was at a point of having to make/direct some really critical decisions. And so I noticed that within me there was this ‘work experience’ coming up where this resistance started coming up towards working on the project that I was working on.
I can also look back at my last week and previous weeks and see how I accepted and allowed this particular dimension of the ‘work experience’ related to making and directing critical decisions, direct and influence me where instead of applying myself I would give into the ‘work experience’ and reason with myself why I should only ‘work so much’ and because of this my application dropped quite a bit and I was much less effective, because I was accepting and allowing this ‘work experience’ to direct me which was ultimately me in a way standing inferior to some of the decisions that required to be made and directed instead of simply moving myself to actually move the point.
What I also see here is that I was trying to avoid this ‘work experience’ instead of assisting and supporting myself to actually face it.
So I have identified this one aspect of where this resistance experience will come up which I experience and thus then define as ‘work’ and then ‘don’t want to do it’.
So ‘work’ is not a bad thing. Even though within myself I have defined it within a negative context. I can see here in the practical example that came up at my job that the resistance I experience in relation to “going to work” was simply related to decisions that had to made. And that I require to adjust my starting point to facing such decisions because at the moment I way to much allow myself to ‘shy away from it’ to go into avoidance instead of Self Direction.
so I must assist and support myself to take on those decisions and stop shying away from them because when I shy away from them then I am taking a stance that cultivates that resistance experience I define as work. When I shy away from work, I am really shying away from being Directive with certain specific Decisions, particularly those that I see as daunting or tricky or difficult.
So What I see is that I must Realign my Starting Point Here and bring through a point of Self Direction instead of ‘Shying Away”
to be continued…