Hide Me From Myself – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 579

Becoming Aware of The Mind - Andrew Gable, 2012

Today I was finalizing some points in relation to buying a new car for myself. This has been an interesting process to walk because within myself I have created and defined this point to be ‘quite a big point’ So in defining it this way, I have noticed at times this experience of overwhelmingness trying to come up and then me justifying going into this experience through by weighing “I have a good reason” because “this is such a big point” so “its ok if I go into this point a little bit”. I actually wrote about this point last week as well in terms of me specifically working with this point within myself of where I have seen that I have a tendency to take points/aspects of my life and even just normal daily living, into a ‘stress point’ or where I will attach and connect an entire experience to parts of my life and making the point emotional instead of simply remaining here in and as the physical and simply walking the points practically step by step instead superimposing on top if it, an emotional experience, often where this emotional experience is like unstable where I will become really concerned or worried about something almost out of habit when I could actually just walk the point without going into that worry or concern. So this particular point outlined here I have been working with as I have walked this process of getting the new car and doing all the paper work ect.

Its been interesting because I haven’t actually got that excited about it. I have seen the point of excitement come up, as well as worry, concern, doubt, but I have not went into them. I rather just reminded myself to ‘stay here’ to ‘not go into the emotional aspects of the point which causes a point of instability within my living application.

So I haven’t got to high and haven’t got to low.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to go into an emotional experience over the point of getting my new car.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define ‘getting a new car’ as a ‘big point’ and therefore then this should ‘take its toll’ on me where in this I have created an expectation that this will have some sort of overwhelming affect on me.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to ‘tire’ (no pun intended) myself out and ‘exhaust’ (no pun intended) myself through by thinking within my mind, where in relation to this current point I am walking with my car, I see the potential for me to actually create an experience of feeling overwhelmed or drained or affected in some way through by how I define and participate with this point within my mind where this entire ‘inner dialogue’ and defining of this point is not necessary and that I can simply walk the point here in and as the physical  without creating and participating with the entire emotional experience side of things through by “going into my head about it”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that “I should be reacting in some way” to this point of getting a new car, because within myself I have defined this point as a ‘big point’ that ultimately will have some emotional affect on me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to make a big deal out of getting a new car as a way to create ‘something fun’ within my life as a form of escape from the Responsibilities and Substance of what my life really consist of in terms of simply walking and facing myself daily, moment by moment, breath by breath, where this is where my life really exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to get excited about getting a new car where this ‘want’ is so that I can escape or distract myself for a moment from who I really am and how I am actually existing day to day, moment to moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make a single event in my life ‘important’ and focus my attention there, and in this missing the point that I am actually alive in every single moment, and so to place my value and attention in a single event I see here is being used as a distraction point, where I am taking my attention and awareness off of ALL of the moments in each and every breath that actually constitute the real substance of me and my life, and so thus am implying a form of undermining or disregarding that which is actually the substance of my life which is each and every single moment I am Here, each moment an opportunity to decided who I am within this life and how I will direct/express myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and escape from the real substance of my life which is all the moments as each and every breath that I am alive, and that I have not directed myself to stop trying to avoid these moments but to rather  embrace them and assist and support myself to live to my utmost potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to avoid the real substance of my life which is all the little moments as each and every breath that constitute my life, because facing these moments is facing me, and challenging me to take responsibility for the entirety of myself in thought, word and deed, and to do this is ‘hard work’ and not ‘the path of least resistance’ and so instead of actually supporting myself to utilize this real substance of my life to assist and support myself to transform myself from a self destructive being to one who supports all life within the context of what is best for all, I have accepted myself to hide from this by constantly….and I mean it takes a CONSTANT Diversion because I am alive literally every single moment and so I have to then find distraction after distraction to take my attention off of me here as who and how I am existing in each and every moment and placing it onto something else so that I do not actually have to direct myself and take responsibility for myself, and so I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to hide from myself by diverting my attention onto the various events within my life such as buying a new car, where I will use this as a distraction from having to face myself which is indicating that I must actually sit down with myself and STOP, and realign myself to HERE, to Living and Walking HERE with and as myself assisting and supporting myself to be and become stable within and as myself as who and how I am living and directing me and existing as in each and every moment/breath I am alive/here.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see, realize and understand that in by wanting to constantly divert my attention away from myself as who and how I am existing in every moment is implying that I am not at all satisfied with myself otherwise Id be fine to be here with and as myself and would not need to constantly be looking for distractions to ‘occupy my attention’ so that this attention that is me does not come back to me here alone as who I am and how I am existing as as the core and crux of myself

When and as I see myself taking moments within my life and ‘wanting to make a big deal out of them’ so that they then can become a distraction or diversion for me to then place my attention on these points instead of remaining HERE within and as Myself with and as my Self Attention In Every Moment, When and as I see myself diverting my attention in this way  I immediately stop and take a breath. I realize that Real Value must be established in and as Myself where I stand as the Source for this Value and thus it remain here as myself no matter what, no matter what I am doing, no matter who I am with where then this becomes the real substance of me and my life where I no more need and require and want to make external events that where I derive and attempt to generate value.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to practice establishing Value in and as myself where this becomes Who I am in every breath, not something I attempt to temporarily generate through various events within my life. I see, realize, and understand that I am able to support myself to establish Value as Me or establish ME in and as myself as the source of my Value through by living in alignment with principles that best for all and aligned with living/existing in a way that is Supportive for myself and others within a point of equality and oneness.

DIP Lite – Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
DIP PRO -A Desteni Course for those Ready to Walk the Journey of a Lifetime
desteni.org – Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
eqafe.com – Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Equal Life Foundation – Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Solutions.
Living Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution for a Failing Capitalism
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs.

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